CHAPTER XII.

The author’s veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censure

of those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author clears

himself from any sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The

method of planting colonies. His native country commended. The right of

the crown to those countries described by the author is justified. The

difficulty of conquering them. The author takes his last leave of the

reader; proposes his manner of living for the future; gives good

advice, and concludes.

Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my travels

for sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have not been so

studious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like others, have

astonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I rather chose to

relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner and style; because

my principal design was to inform, and not to amuse thee.

It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldom

visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions of

wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a traveller’s chief aim

should be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by

the bad, as well as good, example of what they deliver concerning

foreign places.

I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller, before

he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to make

oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to print was

absolutely true to the best of his knowledge; for then the world would

no longer be deceived, as it usually is, while some writers, to make

their works pass the better upon the public, impose the grossest

falsities on the unwary reader. I have perused several books of travels

with great delight in my younger days; but having since gone over most

parts of the globe, and been able to contradict many fabulous accounts

from my own observation, it has given me a great disgust against this

part of reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind

so impudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased to

think my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, I

imposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I would

strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least

temptation to vary from it, while I retain in my mind the lectures and

example of my noble master and the other illustrious _Houyhnhnms_ of

whom I had so long the honour to be an humble hearer.

_—Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem_

_Finxit_, _vanum etiam_, _mendacemque improba finget_.

I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings which

require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent,

except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know likewise, that

writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk into oblivion by

the weight and bulk of those who come last, and therefore lie

uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such travellers, who shall

hereafter visit the countries described in this work of mine, may, by

detecting my errors (if there be any), and adding many new discoveries

of their own, jostle me out of vogue, and stand in my place, making the

world forget that ever I was an author. This indeed would be too great

a mortification, if I wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the

public good, I cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of

the virtues I have mentioned in the glorious _Houyhnhnms_, without

being ashamed of his own vices, when he considers himself as the

reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of

those remote nations where _Yahoos_ preside; among which the least

corrupted are the _Brobdingnagians_; whose wise maxims in morality and

government it would be our happiness to observe. But I forbear

descanting further, and rather leave the judicious reader to his own

remarks and application.

I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet with

no censurers: for what objections can be made against a writer, who

relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant countries,

where we have not the least interest, with respect either to trade or

negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with which common

writers of travels are often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle not

the least with any party, but write without passion, prejudice, or

ill-will against any man, or number of men, whatsoever. I write for the

noblest end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may, without

breach of modesty, pretend to some superiority, from the advantages I

received by conversing so long among the most accomplished

_Houyhnhnms_. I write without any view to profit or praise. I never

suffer a word to pass that may look like reflection, or possibly give

the least offence, even to those who are most ready to take it. So that

I hope I may with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly

blameless; against whom the tribes of Answerers, Considerers,

Observers, Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find

matter for exercising their talents.

I confess, it was whispered to me, “that I was bound in duty, as a

subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of state

at my first coming over; because, whatever lands are discovered by a

subject belong to the crown.” But I doubt whether our conquests in the

countries I treat of would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez

over the naked Americans. The _Lilliputians_, I think, are hardly worth

the charge of a fleet and army to reduce them; and I question whether

it might be prudent or safe to attempt the _Brobdingnagians_; or

whether an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying

Island over their heads. The _Houyhnhnms_ indeed appear not to be so

well prepared for war, a science to which they are perfect strangers,

and especially against missive weapons. However, supposing myself to be

a minister of state, I could never give my advice for invading them.

Their prudence, unanimity, unacquaintedness with fear, and their love

of their country, would amply supply all defects in the military art.

Imagine twenty thousand of them breaking into the midst of an European

army, confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the

warriors’ faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs.

For they would well deserve the character given to Augustus,

_Recalcitrat undique tutus_. But, instead of proposals for conquering

that magnanimous nation, I rather wish they were in a capacity, or

disposition, to send a sufficient number of their inhabitants for

civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first principles of honour,

justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, fortitude, chastity,

friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names of all which virtues

are still retained among us in most languages, and are to be met with

in modern, as well as ancient authors; which I am able to assert from

my own small reading.

But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge his

majesty’s dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had

conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of

princes upon those occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are

driven by a storm they know not whither; at length a boy discovers land

from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and plunder, they see a

harmless people, are entertained with kindness; they give the country a

new name; they take formal possession of it for their king; they set up

a rotten plank, or a stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three

dozen of the natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample;

return home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion

acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first

opportunity; the natives driven out or destroyed; their princes

tortured to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of

inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its

inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious

an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and civilize an

idolatrous and barbarous people!

But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British

nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom,

care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal endowments for

the advancement of religion and learning; their choice of devout and

able pastors to propagate Christianity; their caution in stocking their

provinces with people of sober lives and conversations from this the

mother kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, in

supplying the civil administration through all their colonies with

officers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption; and,

to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and virtuous governors, who

have no other views than the happiness of the people over whom they

preside, and the honour of the king their master.

But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have any

desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out by

colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I did

humbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our zeal, our

valour, or our interest. However, if those whom it more concerns think

fit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be

lawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries before

me. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be believed, unless a dispute

may arise concerning the two _Yahoos_, said to have been seen many

years ago upon a mountain in _Houyhnhnmland_, from whence the opinion

is, that the race of those brutes hath descended; and these, for

anything I know, may have been English, which indeed I was apt to

suspect from the lineaments of their posterity’s countenances, although

very much defaced. But, how far that will go to make out a title, I

leave to the learned in colony-law.

But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign’s name,

it never came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as my affairs

then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and

self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity.

Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised against

me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my courteous

readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at

Redriff; to apply those excellent lessons of virtue which I learned

among the _Houyhnhnms_; to instruct the _Yahoos_ of my own family, as

far as I shall find them docible animals; to behold my figure often in

a glass, and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time to tolerate

the sight of a human creature; to lament the brutality to _Houyhnhnms_

in my own country, but always treat their persons with respect, for the

sake of my noble master, his family, his friends, and the whole

_Houyhnhnm_ race, whom these of ours have the honour to resemble in all

their lineaments, however their intellectuals came to degenerate.

I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the

farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost

brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a _Yahoo_

continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue,

lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for a man late in

life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some

time, to suffer a neighbour _Yahoo_ in my company, without the

apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.

My reconcilement to the _Yahoo_-kind in general might not be so

difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only

which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at

the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a

gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a

suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to

the due course of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and

diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately

breaks all the measures of my patience; neither shall I be ever able to

comprehend how such an animal, and such a vice, could tally together.

The wise and virtuous _Houyhnhnms_, who abound in all excellences that

can adorn a rational creature, have no name for this vice in their

language, which has no terms to express any thing that is evil, except

those whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their _Yahoos_,

among which they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for want

of thoroughly understanding human nature, as it shows itself in other

countries where that animal presides. But I, who had more experience,

could plainly observe some rudiments of it among the wild _Yahoos_.

But the _Houyhnhnms_, who live under the government of reason, are no

more proud of the good qualities they possess, than I should be for not

wanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his wits would boast of,

although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon

this subject from the desire I have to make the society of an English

_Yahoo_ by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here entreat

those who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not

presume to come in my sight.

FOOTNOTES:

[301] A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.

[330] An act of parliament has been since passed by which some breaches

of trust have been made capital.

[454a] Britannia.—_Sir W. Scott_.

[454b] London.—_Sir W. Scott_.

[455] This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766). The

above paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another form,

commencing:—“I told him that should I happen to live in a kingdom where

lots were in vogue,” &c. The names Tribnia and Langden are not

mentioned, and the “close stool” and its signification do not occur.

[514] This paragraph is not in the original editions.

[546] The original editions and Hawksworth’s have Rotherhith here,

though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver’s

home in England.