CHAPTER III.
THE AUTHOR DIVERTS THE EMPEROR AND HIS NOBILITY OF BOTH SEXES IN A
VERY UNCOMMON MANNER. THE DIVERSIONS OF THE COURT OF LILLIPUT
DESCRIBED. THE AUTHOR HAS HIS LIBERTY GRANTED HIM UPON CERTAIN
CONDITIONS.
My gentleness and good behavior had gained so far on the emperor and his
court, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I began to
conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time, I took all
possible methods to cultivate this favorable disposition. The natives
came by degrees to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I would
sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my hand, and at
last the boys and girls would venture to come and play at hide and seek
in my hair. I had now made a good progress in understanding and speaking
their language.
The emperor had a mind, one day, to entertain me with one of the country
shows, wherein they exceed all nations I have known, both for dexterity
and magnificence. I was diverted with none so much as that of the
rope-dancers, performed upon a slender white thread, extended about two
feet, and twelve inches from the ground. Upon which I shall desire
liberty, with the reader's patience, to enlarge a little.
[Illustration]
This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates for
great employments and high favor at court. They are trained in this art
from their youth, and are not always of noble birth or liberal
education. When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace
(which often happens) five or six of those candidates petition the
emperor to entertain his majesty, and the court, with a dance on the
rope, and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the
office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are commanded to show
their skill, and to convince the emperor that they have not lost their
faculty. Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the
straight rope, at least an inch higher than any lord in the whole
empire. I have seen him do the summersault several times together upon a
trencher,[20] fixed on a rope, which is no thicker than a common
packthread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal secretary for
private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial, the second
after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much upon a par.
These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great
numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates break
a limb. But the danger is much greater when the ministers themselves are
commanded to show their dexterity! for, by contending to excel
themselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly
one of them who hath not received a fall, and some of them two or three.
I was assured that a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap would have
infallibly broke his neck if one of the king's cushions, that
accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.
There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the
emperor and empress and first minister, upon particular occasions. The
emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads, of six inches long;
one is purple, the other yellow, and the third white. These threads are
proposed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor hath a mind to
distinguish by a peculiar mark of his favor. The ceremony is performed
in his majesty's great chamber of state, where the candidates are to
undergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former, and such as
I have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of the
old or new world.
The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel to the
horizon, while the candidates, advancing one by one, sometimes leap over
the stick, sometimes creep under it, backwards and forwards several
times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed. Sometimes the
emperor holds one end of the stick, and his first minister the other:
sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his
part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and
creeping, is rewarded with the blue-colored silk; the yellow is given to
the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice
about the middle; and you see few great persons round about this court
who are not adorned with one of these girdles.
The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been
daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very
feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand as I held
it on the ground; and one of the emperor's huntsmen, upon a large
courser, took my foot, shoe and all, which was indeed a prodigious leap.
I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very
extraordinary manner. I desired he would order several sticks of two
feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me;
whereupon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give
directions accordingly; and the next morning six wood-men arrived with
as many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each.
I took nine of these sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a
quadrangular figure, two feet and a half square, I took four other
sticks and tied them parallel at each corner, about two feet from the
ground; then I fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood
erect, and extended it on all sides, till it was as tight as the top of
a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher
than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side.
When I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his
best horse, twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain.
His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up one by one in
my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercise
them. As soon as they got into order, they divided into two parties,
performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords,
fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and, in short, discovered the
best military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them
and their horses from falling over the stage: and the emperor was so
much delighted that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several
days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of command;
and, with great difficulty, persuaded even the empress herself to let me
hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage, from whence
she was able to take a full view of the whole performance.
It was my good fortune that no ill accident happened in these
entertainments; only once a fiery horse, that belonged to one of the
captains, pawing with his hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and
his foot slipping, he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately
relieved them both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the
troop with the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse
that fell was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt,
and I repaired my handkerchief as well as I could; however, I would not
trust to the strength of it any more in such dangerous enterprises.
About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was
entertaining the court with feats of this kind, there arrived an express
to inform his majesty that some of his subjects riding near the place
where I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on
the ground, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round as wide as his
majesty's bed-chamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man;
that it was no living creature, as they had at first apprehended, for it
lay on the grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it
several times; that, by mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had
got to the top, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they
found it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be
something belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased,
they would undertake to bring it with only five horses.
[Illustration]
I presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this
intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our
shipwreck, I was in such confusion that, before I came to the place
where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my
head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming,
fell off after I came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by
some accident which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost
at sea. I intreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might be
brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the use and nature
of it; and the next day the wagoners arrived with it, but not in a very
good condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and
a half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks
were tied by a long cord to the harness; and thus my hat was dragged
along for above half an English mile; but the ground in that country
being extremely smooth and level, it received less damage than I
expected.
Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of
the army which quarters in and about his metropolis to be in readiness,
took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired
I would stand like a colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I
conveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an old,
experienced leader and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops in
close order and march under me; the foot by twenty-four abreast and the
horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colors flying, and pikes advanced.
This body consisted of three thousand foot and a thousand horse.
I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then
in full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyrris Bolgolam
who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal enemy. But it
was carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed by the
emperor. That minister was _galbet_, or admiral of the realm, very much
in his master's confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but of
a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded to
comply; but prevailed, that the articles and conditions upon which I
should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by
himself.
These articles were brought to me by Skyrris Bolgolam in person,
attended by two under-secretaries, and several persons of distinction.
After they were read, I was demanded to swear to the performance of
them, first in the manner of my own country, and afterwards in the
method prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my
left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the crown
of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear.
But because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style and
manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to know the
articles upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of
the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I was able, which I here
offer to the public.
_Golbasto Momaren Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue_, Most Mighty
Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose dominions
extend five thousand _blustrugs_ (about twelve miles in circumference) to
the extremities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs, taller than the
sons of men; whose feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikes
against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the earth shake their
knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer, fruitful as
autumn, dreadful as winter. His most sublime majesty proposeth to the
man-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions, the following
articles, which by a solemn oath he shall be obliged to perform.
First. The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions without our
license under our great seal.
Second. He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our
express order, at which time the inhabitants shall have two hours
warning to keep within doors.
Third. The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal
high roads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a meadow or field of
corn.[21]
Fourth. As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not to
trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses or
carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their own
consent.
Fifth. If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain
shall be obliged to carry in his pocket the messenger and horse a
six-days' journey once in every moon, and return the said messenger back
(if so required) safe to our imperial presence.
Sixth. He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of
Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now
preparing to invade us.
Seventh. That the said man-mountain shall at his times of leisure be
aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great
stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our
royal buildings.
Eighth. That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons time, deliver in
an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a computation
of his own paces round the coast.
Lastly. That upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles, the
said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink
sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free access to
our royal person, and other marks of our favor. Given at our palace at
Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign.
I swore and subscribed to the articles with great cheerfulness and
content, although some of them were not so honorable as I could have
wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyrris Bolgolam, the
high admiral; whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was
at full liberty. The emperor himself in person did me the honor to be by
at the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgments, by prostrating myself
at his majesty's feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after many
gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall not
repeat, he added, that he hoped I should prove a useful servant, and
well deserve all the favors he had already conferred upon me, or might
do for the future.
The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article for the
recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity of
meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians. Some
time after, asking a friend at court, how they came to fix on that
determinate number, he told me, that his majesty's mathematicians having
taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant,[22] and finding
it to exceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they concluded,
from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain at least
1724 of theirs, and consequently would require as much food as was
necessary to support that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader
may conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the
prudent and exact economy of so great a prince.