Chapter XXI.
A Dreadful Inheritance
It has always been, and still is, somewhat of a puzzle to me to
account for the sudden and complete change in my point of view in
regard to my union with Jasper. Lilith would doubtless have explained
it as a case of subconscious reflection, and probably she would have
been right. My impression is that Peggy’s matter-of-fact attitude
towards marriage unsanctioned by law had a more profound effect than I
was aware of; that her words--which I had certainly recalled from time
to time--had remained in my mind subconsciously exercising a
continuous influence. Or it may be that I had found a life of
separation impossible, and had realised it consciously only when I
found myself once more in Jasper’s presence.
But, however it may have happened, the fact remains that I accepted
the new order without a qualm. The conditions that I had scouted as
unthinkable now seemed entirely reasonable and acceptable. The only
twinge of misgiving that I ever had, was produced by the draft of the
declaration that Jasper sent for my approval and criticism. For that
well-meant document, with its half-defiant, half-protesting phrases,
did certainly bring home to me with uncomfortable vividness the fact
that this marriage was not like any other marriage, and that I was not
as other married women were. But I sent it back approved and tried to
forget it, and quietly went on with my preparations for the new life.
Outwardly, however, I made no change in my habits, and even tried to
suppress the gaiety and buoyancy of spirit that I felt, lest the
sudden change from my recent depressed condition should attract
notice. I still lived my life apart, only too happy in my solitude,
and spent most of my time in the workshop conning over Jasper’s
letters, or meditating on the happy days that were drawing so near.
For a time the candlestick was sadly neglected, until I had the sudden
inspiration of finishing it as a wedding-gift to Jasper. And then all
the joy of work revived and blossomed into unsuspected skill. Tracer
and punch seemed to travel along their appointed paths unguided; the
spindle-shanked chasing hammer became a familiar demon and appeared to
develop a volition of its own, and the little enamel furnace roared
with glee.
So the days sped by, each bringing me nearer to the golden gate of my
enchanted garden, and each so filled with quiet happiness that I could
not wish it shorter. About the end of the first week came a letter
from Jasper saying that the bandages had been discarded, and that he
had taken a walk and had appeared quite well and strong. Then, a day
or two later, came another fixing the date and time of our meeting. It
was to be on the following Thursday--only five days ahead--at six
o’clock in the evening. The formalities were to be carried out
immediately on my arrival; we should then dine quietly at the club,
spend the evening at a concert or the theatre, and take the boat train
either to Flushing or Calais, whichever I preferred.
The arrival of this letter, though I had been daily expecting it, came
as quite a shock, and turned my tranquil happiness into feverish
excitement which I had some difficulty in concealing. The fixing of an
actual date and the selection of a definite region in which to spend
the honeymoon (I chose the north of France) gave a reality to this
Great Adventure and brought it out of the undefined future into the
present. For now I had to carry out the final preparations. Lightly as
I might travel, I must take some luggage, and this would entail a
conveyance; and this in its turn involved something in the nature of a
public departure, so that, if I had desired to disappear
secretly--which I did not--the thing would have been impossible. Yet I
was, naturally, loath to say much about my immediate intentions,
preparing to make my explanations by letter after the event; and this
the prevailing good manners of the little community rendered quite
easy. I notified Miss Polton and my more intimate friends that I was
going away on a visit of uncertain duration, and, whatever curiosity
they may have felt, no further particulars were asked for. I went
about my immediate preparations--the packing of those few things that
I must needs take away with me--unnoticed, or at least uncommented on,
and then began unobtrusively to arrange the rest of my possessions for
the final removal.
On Wednesday--the day before that of my departure--a letter arrived
from Mr. Otway. It reached me just after lunch, and I glanced at it
before rising from the table. The subject was the same as that of
previous ones, but it was evident that something in the nature of a
crisis was approaching. The extreme agitation of the writer was shown
not only in the matter and the impassioned, rather incoherent manner,
but even in the handwriting; which was ill-formed and slovenly, in
great contrast to Mr. Otway’s usual business-like neatness.
“My dear Helen,” it began, “I have not troubled you for quite a long
time with my miserable affairs--which are to some extent your affairs
too. But they are going from bad to worse, and now I feel that I am
coming to the limits of endurance. I cannot bear this much longer. My
health is shattered, my peace of mind is wrecked, and my brain
threatens to give way. Death would be a boon, a relief, and I feel
that it is not far off. I cannot go on like this. Those wretches leave
me no peace. Hardly a week passes but I get some new menace; and
now--but I can’t tell you in a letter. It is too horrible. Come to me,
Helen, for the love of God! I am in torment. Have pity on me, even
though you have never forgiven me. I cannot come to you, for I am now
unable to leave my bed. I am a wreck, a ruin. Come to me just this
once, and if you cannot help me, at least give me the comfort of your
sympathy. You will not be troubled by me much longer.
“Your distracted husband,
“Lewis Otway.”
The emotions that this letter aroused were mixed and rather
conflicting. Never had I felt a deeper loathing of Mr. Otway than now
that I was being forced to accept what I knew in my heart to be but a
counterfeit of marriage. I had been robbed of my birthright, and he
had robbed me. Never was I less in a mood to offer him sympathy in the
troubles that he had created for himself and me by his callous
selfishness. And yet I decided to go to him. Whether the decision was
due to some sort of compunction for the blow that I was going to
strike on the morrow; or whether to curiosity, or to a desire to
verify his foreboding of approaching death, I cannot say. Certainly
the last consideration entered into the mixture of motives, and
probably was the determining factor. At any rate, I decided to go.
Dimly, I perceived that I ought to have consulted Jasper, though I was
unaware of the possible legal significance that my visit might
acquire. I formed my decision at once, and early in the afternoon set
forth westward with the letter in my pocket.
I did not go direct to Mr. Otway’s chambers. Promptly as I had made up
my mind, I felt the necessity of thinking over the circumstances and
forecasting the possibilities. On my way westward I made a halt at a
tea-shop, and while I awaited the leisurely service I drew out the
letter and read it through again. Clearly the blackmailers were
becoming more urgent and possibly more definite. It seemed as though
they had adopted some new tactics. But it was not the blackmailers who
interested me. I found my eye travelling again and again to those two
sentences that hinted at the possibility of Mr. Otway’s death.
“I feel that it is not far off.” And again, “You will not be troubled
by me much longer.” Had he any solid grounds for these forebodings? Or
were they merely the offspring of abiding terror, or perchance simply
rhetorical flourishes designed to arouse my sympathy? These were
questions of no small moment to me, for Mr. Otway’s death would set me
free and in an instant unravel the tangled skein of my relations with
Jasper.
As I drank my tea with reflective deliberation I turned these
questions over in my mind, not disguising from myself the cool,
impassive, egoism of my attitude. My feeling in respect of Mr. Otway
was devoid of any trace of sentimentalism. I viewed him as the
insurance director views the generalised “proposer,”--but inversely;
for I was interested in his decease, not in his survival. I loathed
him, but I did not hate him. I did not wish him ill. If I could have
saved him from suffering I would have done so, even at the cost of
some considerable effort. But if he had stood in the peril of instant
death, and I could have averted that peril by moving a finger, I would
not have moved a finger.
That was my position. As I rose from the table and returned the letter
to my pocket, what was in my mind was that Mr. Otway seemed to think
that he was going to die, and I hoped that he was right.
When I reached Lyon’s Inn Chambers the sun was already low and the
gloom of the evening was beginning to settle on the closed-in block of
buildings. I ascended the ill-lit stone stairs to the second floor,
where the light on the landing was so dim that I had difficulty in
deciphering Mr. Otway’s name above the door of his “set”; and as I did
so I noted with surprise that the inscription was faded and obscure,
and had the appearance of having been in existence for many years,
whereas Mr. Otway had, as I believed, but recently entered on his
tenancy.
The door was opened by Mrs. Gregg, who stood in the gloom of the entry
confronting me without a word.
“Good evening, Mrs. Gregg,” I said. “Mr. Otway has asked me to call on
him----”
“Ye need make no excuses,” she interrupted, “for coming to see your
lawful husband.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Gregg,” I replied. “Is Mr. Otway disengaged?”
“No,” she answered; “he is expecting a visitor.”
“How very unfortunate,” said I. “He wanted particularly to see me, I
know.”
“Perhaps you could look in some time to-morrow?” she suggested.
“No, I am afraid I can’t. If Mr. Otway is unable to see me this
evening I must write to him. I shall not have another opportunity to
call for some considerable time.”
She reflected for a few moments, and I gathered that she was unwilling
to take the responsibility of cancelling the interview.
“Could you call again a little later?” she asked, at length. “He will
have finished with his visitor by about half-past seven, or say a
quarter to eight. Could you look in again at eight?”
I had not wanted to be out as late as this would make me, but if I was
to see Mr. Otway at all, it would have to be to-night. Eventually I
accepted the arrangement, somewhat, I think, to Mrs. Gregg’s relief.
As I descended the stairs I heard the footsteps of two
persons--apparently a man and a woman--ascending. On the first-floor
landing I met the man, who turned out to be the lamplighter. Just as I
had passed him he lit the landing lamp, and its light, which came from
behind me, fell full on the woman who was coming up. It was only a
momentary glimpse that I caught as she passed me on the stairs, but I
recognised her instantly. She was Mrs. Campbell, the wife of the
Wardour Street dealer.
It was an odd meeting, and it gave me the material for a good deal of
thought and speculation. Mr. Otway’s chambers were the only ones on
the second floor; from which it seemed probable that Mrs. Campbell was
the visitor whom he was expecting. This was a rather queer
coincidence; but it was not the only one. That sudden recognition of
the face, thrown into strong relief against the dark background by the
bright lamplight, had set my memory working. I remembered how, when I
had seen Mrs. Campbell in the shop and had heard her speak, her face
had seemed to suggest something familiar, and her accent and the
intonation of her voice had called up some accent and tone that I had
heard before. It had been but a vague impression at the time; but now,
in the new setting and aided by association, the impression became
quite definite. The face that hers had suggested was Mr. Otway’s face;
but the really odd thing was that her voice and accent suggested not
Mr. Otway’s but Mrs. Gregg’s. And this very queer resemblance was made
yet more queer by a singular discrepancy. Mrs. Gregg spoke with a
distinct Scottish accent. It was a peculiar one, different from that
of any other Scots person whom I had ever heard speak; but it was
quite pronounced. Mrs. Campbell, on the other hand, had no trace
whatever of a Scottish accent; of that I was quite sure. But I was
equally sure of the resemblance between the two, subtle and elusive as
it was.
Here, then, was a problem the consideration of which gave me quite a
considerable amount of occupation, and helped me to while away the
hour and a half that I had to wait. The almost fantastic oddity of the
coincidence might have made me reject my impressions as mere
delusions; but, on the one hand, there was Mrs. Campbell evidently
making for Mr. Otway’s chambers, and, on the other, was the fact that
it was Mr. Otway who had introduced me to the shop in Wardour Street.
However, I could get no farther than speculation; and, as speculation
tends rapidly to exhaust its limited material, I presently dismissed
the problem and returned to the consideration of Mr. Otway’s health
and its bearing on my own future.
The hour and a half I spent in a leisurely survey of Lincoln’s Inn and
the Temple. My perambulations with Jasper had brought home to me that
London is an entertainment in itself; that no observant person need be
dull who has access to its historic streets and picturesque
backwaters. And now it was very pleasant to revisit the scenes of
former rambles--to be repeated often in the future--and meanwhile to
reflect on the happenings of the present and let my thoughts stray to
the new life that was about to open; and the time slipped away so
agreeably that when the three-quarter chime was struck in a polite
undertone by the genteel clock in the Inner Temple, it came to me as
quite a surprise.
On the stroke of eight I rang the bell of Mr. Otway’s chambers, and
was forthwith admitted by the taciturn Mrs. Gregg. In silence she
conducted me along a narrow corridor that led from the entrance lobby,
across a largish room furnished partly as a library, partly as a
dining-room and by a communicating door into the bedroom, when--still
without uttering a word--she departed, shutting the door after her.
Mr. Otway half rose in bed as I entered, and made a vague gesture of
welcome, finally extending his hand, which I shook formally.
“This is really good of you, Helen,” said he, “to come and see me, and
to come so promptly. I am sorry Mrs. Gregg sent you away. There was no
need. My other visitor could have been put off.”
“It is of no consequence,” said I. “My time was my own to-night. What
is the new trouble--for I infer from your letter that there is some
new development. Is there any definite threat?”
Again he half rose in bed, and looking at me with anxious intensity
said, in a low, suppressed tone: “Helen, just see that the door is
properly shut.”
I did so, and he then begged me to draw the chair, which had been
placed for me, closer to him. This I also did, and, having seated
myself, looked at him expectantly.
Still half raised in bed, he bent his head as near to me as he could,
and in a whisper said, “Helen, I want to ask you a question. What
became of your father’s stick?”
The question, whispered with such strange secrecy, and accompanied by
a singular look compounded of eagerness, fear and suspicion, somewhat
startled me; for I remembered, even as he spoke, that the same
question had been asked by Dr. Thorndyke.
“I haven’t the least idea,” I replied. “Haven’t you got it?”
“No. I never had it. I have never seen it since the--ah--the occasion
when--ah--you remember----”
“Of course I remember. I have good reason to.”
“Ah--no doubt. Yes. But are you quite sure--I thought you might have
taken it away with you.”
“But, Mr. Otway, you let me out of the house yourself. You saw me go,
and you must have seen that I was not taking it. And you know that I
never came to the house again.”
He sank back on his pillow with a gesture of despair.
“Yes,” he murmured, “that seems to be so. It must be so, I suppose.”
“It is so,” I said. “There is no question about it. When I went away
that morning the stick was in your house. But why are you asking me
about it? Is it of any importance?”
He turned towards a table that stood by the opposite side of the bed,
and taking up a bunch of keys, unlocked a deed-box that was on the
table, and took from it a sheet of paper.
“Read that,” said he, handing me the paper.
The document was a type-written letter of a similar character to the
previous ones, and of about the same length. It ran thus:
“Mr. Lewis Otway,
“Some funny questions are being asked. What about Mr. Vardon’s
stick--the loaded stick with the silver knob to hide the lead loading?
Where is it? Somebody says they know where it is and who’s got it. And
they say there is a bruise on the silver top, and they say something
about a smear of blood and a grey hair sticking to it. Do you know
anything about it? If you don’t, you’d better find out. Because I
think you’ll hear from that somebody before you are many weeks older
or else from the police.
“A Well-Wisher.”
As I came to the end of this document I raised my eyes and met Mr.
Otway’s fixed on me with a very singular expression. But he quickly
averted his gaze, possibly embarrassed by the steady intensity of my
own. For this letter, together with Mr. Otway’s agitated questionings,
had revived the old doubts in my mind. Could there be any truth in
this veiled accusation? Was it possible that I had really made a
hideous mistake in shielding this man? As these doubts flashed through
my mind, some reflection of them may have appeared in my expression as
I steadily looked Mr. Otway in the face. At any rate, he looked away
as I have said; and when I handed him back the letter, he took it in a
hand that shook like a dipsomaniac’s, and replaced it in the deed-box
without a word.
For a space we were both silent, and I sat looking at him and his
surroundings with profound distaste. The close, stuffy air of the room
aroused a faint disgust; the objects on the bedside table--the
cigarette box--the large spirit decanter and siphon and a bottle of
veronal tablets--conveyed a disagreeable impression of drinking and
drug-taking. And the man himself, with his pasty face, his baggy
eyelids, creased with multitudinous wrinkles, his drooping, tremulous
underlip, was distinctly repellant. The whole atmosphere of the place
and its occupant was unwholesome, sordid and abnormal.
Yet, unwholesome and unhealthy as he looked, there was no striking
change in Mr. Otway’s appearance; nothing new to justify, so far as I
could judge, his alarming account of himself. His aspect supported the
suggestions of the spirit-bottle, the cigarettes and the veronal; he
looked distracted, terrified, nerve-shaken; but he did not, to my eye,
look like a dying man. I inspected him critically during that interval
of silence, and arrived, almost regretfully, I fear, at the conclusion
that his forebodings were merely the result of a chronic state of
fear--if they were real and not deliberately assumed to excite my
sympathy.
I think he must have had a feeling that I was regarding him with
disfavour, for presently he turned towards me with a deprecating air
and sighed wearily.
“I am afraid, Helen,” said he, “that you are very tired of me and my
troubles. But you must try to be patient. It may not be for long.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked. “Is your health really bad, apart from
the worry of these letters?”
“My health gets worse from week to week,” he replied. “Not that I am
suffering from any definite disease. But the constant alarm and
anxiety, the shocks which keep coming one on top of another, are
breaking me up. I get no interval of peace in which to recover. I am
in a constant state of worry and depression by day, which leads to
that,” and he pointed to the spirit-decanter, “and it is even worse at
night unless I secure a little rest by those things,” pointing to the
veronal bottle; “and cigarettes, whisky and veronal don’t make for a
long life or robust health.”
“Still,” I said, “you mustn’t exaggerate or alarm yourself
unnecessarily. You are not in very good condition, I can see; but
there is no reason to suppose that you are in a dangerous state.
Couldn’t you cut off these drugs and the whisky and go away for a
change?”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t go away,” he said. “They would find me
out and follow me. And as to cutting off the stimulants and the
sedatives, that is impossible. Bad as they are, they are the last
bulwark against something worse.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He did not answer immediately, but seemed to be considering my
question and debating whether he should make any further confidences.
At length he turned to me somewhat abruptly with an expression which I
had never seen on his face before: a wild expression strangely unlike
his usual, heavy stolidity, suggesting excitement and terror, with yet
a curious dash of exultation.
“Helen,” he said with a singular intensity of voice and manner, “there
are men who are born into this world under sentence of death. The
black cap hangs over their cradles. Throughout their lives they have
continually to watch--to evade the execution of the sentence if they
can. But the time comes when they can escape no longer. They are tired
of evasion, of the struggle to escape; and then they give themselves
up; and that is the end.
“I am one of those men, Helen. My mother put an end to her own life.
My only brother put an end to his life. My mother’s father made away
with himself. It is in the blood. My mother was found hanging from a
tree in an orchard. My brother disappeared and was found a month later
hanging from a peg in a disused wardrobe. My grandfather hanged
himself from a beam in the loft. Perhaps there were others. At any
rate, there it is. The fathers have eaten sour grapes and the
children’s teeth are set on edge.”
He paused, and I sat looking with uneasy surprise at the unwonted
animation in his face: the faint flush, the awakening light in his
eyes, the suppressed eagerness of his manner. There was something
weirdly unpleasant about this new phase.
“You mustn’t allow these fancies to disturb you,” I said feebly.
“They are not fancies,” he retorted. “They are weighty realities. I
thought for a long time that the inheritance had passed me by. But
when the first of those letters came, I knew that the legacy had
fallen in. And every new menace sets the impulse working. Whenever one
of those letters come I feel it; I find myself thinking of my mother
and my brother, and wondering if they felt the same. Then I take a
stiff whisky, and the feeling goes off. But I don’t care, nowadays, to
go to bed until I have taken a dose of veronal.”
“Why not?” I asked.
He drew himself to the edge of the bed, and, thrusting his head out,
peered into a shadowy corner of the room with a sort of
half-terrified, half-exultant leer that seemed to stir the very marrow
of my bones.
“What is it, Mr. Otway?” I asked, staring into the corner but seeing
nothing.
“Do you see it, Helen?” he said, rolling his eyes at me and then
looking back into the corner, which was in a line with the bed-head;
“that great hook, or bent peg. I can’t imagine what it was put there
for; but there it is, like a great metal finger,
beckoning--beckoning.”
I looked at the object that he indicated--a massive curved peg or hook
fixed to the wall about seven feet from the floor--and shivered
slightly. Its appearance was horribly suggestive.
“When I used to lie awake,” Mr. Otway continued, still gazing into the
corner, “after the first letters came, I could lie on my left side,
because then it was behind me and I seemed to feel it drawing me. I
had to turn so that I could see it; and whenever I looked at it, it
seemed to beckon. And so it does now.”
“I should have it unscrewed and taken away,” said I.
“Yes,” he replied, reflectively, “perhaps it might be--and yet I don’t
know. Perhaps I might be more restless if it were not there. It is, in
a way, a satisfaction to know that--ah--that I hold a trump card that
I can play if--ah--if all the other cards are against me.”
As he spoke, he looked at me with that same curious half-frightened,
half-exultant expression that made me wonder whether perhaps his
inheritance included a dash of insanity. Then he rolled back to the
middle of the bed and lay staring at the ceiling; and by degrees the
excitement faded out of his face and he recovered his usual stolid
gravity of expression.
Presently he glanced at the little carriage clock that stood on the
table, and, turning to me, said: “I usually take my veronal about this
time. Would you mind giving me a glass of water and the tablets?”
I rose from my chair, and as I did so my little wrist-bag, which had
been reposing, forgotten, on my lap, slipped to the floor. I picked it
up and hung it on the knob of the chair-back, and then fetched the
water-bottle and tumbler from the wash-stand. Having filled the
tumbler and handed it to Mr. Otway, I picked up the veronal bottle,
and seeing that it was a new one, broke the seal, withdrew the cork
and pulled out the cotton-wool packing.
“Three tablets, please,” said Mr. Otway.
I handed him the bottle, and as he took it and shook out the three
tablets he smiled grimly.
“You are the most cautious woman I have ever met,” he remarked. “But
you are quite right to make me responsible for my own poison.”
He took the tablets one at a time, crunching each between his teeth
very thoroughly before washing it down with water. Then he mixed what
looked to me a very stiff allowance of whisky, with a very little soda
water, and swallowed it at a draught.
“I find that the stimulant makes the veronal act more rapidly,” he
explained. “I shall be asleep in about half-an-hour. Do you mind
staying with me until I drop off?”
I agreed to this, although it was getting late; but, conscious that it
was probably the last service I should ever render him, I did not feel
that I could refuse. So I sat down again in the chair and watched him,
noting that already--probably as a result of the stimulant--he was
quieter in manner and more peaceful in appearance. Even when he
reverted to the subject that had occasioned my visit, his manner was
quite calm.
“There is something very mysterious about that stick,” he remarked.
“Recalling the circumstances, I remember putting it down in the corner
by the writing-table. I never saw it again, and never gave its
whereabouts a thought. I assumed that you had taken it, but I now
realise that I was mistaken. Apparently it has got into undesirable
hands and we haven’t heard the last of it, I fear.”
“You had better not think any more about it, Mr. Otway,” I said.
“There is nothing to be done, and the less you worry the less harm
these people will be able to do you.”
“Yes,” he agreed; “that is good advice, and I can follow it now. But
if I should wake up in the small hours of the morning it will be very
different. That is the worst time, Helen. Then this persecution seems
beyond bearing. The horror of it makes me sweat with fear. I seem to
hear the police on the stairs. I find myself listening for the sound
of the bell. It is horrible--horrible! And then I think of that
wardrobe, unnoticed all those weeks, and the figure inside in the
dark. And then----”
He made a motion of his eyes towards the shadowy corner, and
involuntarily I glanced at the great peg high up on the wall.
He did not speak again for some time, and I sat silently watching him
and thinking--thinking of his dreadful heritage and all that it might
mean. Was it a reality, this legacy of death that he saw coming to
him? Was it true that even now the black cap hung over his bed?
Supposing it were? Supposing that this very night, in the chilly
middle watch, he should wake with all his terrors clutching at his
heart! Should creep out of his bed and---- Here my glance stole into
the shadowy corner, and, as I looked, my mind seemed to picture a dim
shape filling the wall space below the big, massive peg. There were no
details and hardly any form; it was just a shape, vague and rather
horrible. I shivered slightly, but I did not try to blot out the
mental picture. It was a gruesome thing, that dim, elongated shape,
but it did not disturb me much; for it set going other associated
trains of thought. There was the ceremony to-morrow evening, the
witnesses with their doubtful rights of attestation, protesting that
all was in order--and protesting in vain. There were two Ishmaelites
going forth hand-in-hand into the wilderness, ready to meet scorn with
defiance--but still Ishmaelites. And at the thought, the shape upon
the wall space below the peg seemed to grow less dim, to loom out more
distinctly. That shape was Mr. Otway--dead. The late Mr. Otway. No
longer a legal impediment, but just a fiction that had ceased to
exist.
From the dark corner I turned my eyes on to the living man as he lay
motionless, breathing softly with an occasional faint snore, and now
and again puffing out his cheeks. He was not asleep, for I could see
his eyes open and close at intervals; but he was evidently growing
somnolent. I watched him with deep interest, almost with fascination,
as one might look on a condemned man making his last journey in the
hangman’s cart. This was a condemned man, too: a potential suicide. At
any moment he might set forth on his last journey; and his arrival at
his destination would set the Ishmaelites free. He was ready to go;
but he awaited the determining influence that would start him on his
journey. What form would that final cause take? Would it be some
sudden shock of alarm? Or the cumulative effect of prolonged, abiding
fear?
I leaned forward and spoke softly to him.
“Do you know, Mr. Otway, what caused your brother----”
He opened his eyes and looked at me, dully. “What did you say, Helen?”
he asked.
“I was wondering if you knew--if there was anything in particular that
caused your brother to take his life.”
He cogitated sleepily for a while before replying. At length he
answered, in a drowsy voice: “I am not very clear about it. He had had
a good deal of worry of one kind and another, financial and domestic.
I don’t know that anything unusual had occurred; but he had been in a
nervous, depressed state for some time.”
Having made this reply, Mr. Otway closed his eyes and took a deep
breath; and I reflected on the significance of his answer. There had
apparently been no specific cause of his brother’s suicide, but just
the accumulating effects of nervousness and depression, which exploded
when they reached a certain degree of intensity. His condition, in
fact, seemed to have been almost identical with Mr. Otway’s present
condition.
Once more my eyes wandered away to the shadowy corner; and again the
wall space below the great hook-like peg became occupied by that
elongated shape. Now I seemed to visualise it more completely. It was
no longer a mere shape. It had parts--recognisable members. There were
the limp-dangling arms, the downward-pointing toes, the shadowy head
lolling sideways. It was very horrible, yet I found myself viewing it
without horror, but rather with a certain detached interest. I was
getting used to it, and was disposed to consider it in terms of its
significance.
It was not a person. It was a thing which had replaced a person who
had ceased to exist. That person had had a wife. But the wife had
ceased to exist, too. In her place was a widow--a free, unattached
woman in whom were vested all the rights and liberties of
spinsterhood, including the power to contract a valid and regular
marriage. The shape was an ugly and forbidding thing; but it held
precious and desirable gifts.
From the shape projected by my own imagination my eyes turned to the
actual man--the man who was convertible into such a shape. He was fast
asleep now; lying on his back, breathing a little stertorously and
blowing out his cheeks at each breath. He was an unpleasant spectacle,
and the sound of his breathing was disagreeable. He ought not to be
lying on his back; for sleepers who lie on their backs are apt to
dream, and dreams are not good for men with a tendency to suicide. And
sleepers who breathe stertorously are apt to dream ugly dreams.
This consideration set my thoughts working afresh. Supposing this man
should have a dream presenting his waking terrors with all the added
intensity and vividness of a nightmare; the heavy footfalls of the
police upon the stairs, the hands groping in the darkness of the
landing for the bell-pull! Or if his dream should show him that
wardrobe with its dreadful occupant! What would happen? And even as I
put the question to myself my imagination supplied with startling
vividness the answering picture. I saw the affrighted sleeper suddenly
awaken in uncontrollable panic, scramble from his bed and shuffle
hurriedly towards the corner under the peg.
The mental construction of the scene was singularly complete and
orderly. I even found myself filling in the details of the means.
There, indeed, was the peg. But a man cannot hang himself without some
means of suspension. And these must be immediately available or the
impulse might die away before they were found. I glanced around the
room to see what means were to hand; and at once my eye lighted on an
old-fashioned bell-rope that hung beside the head of the bed. Its
perfect suitability was evident at a glance--provided that it could be
detached without ringing the bell. But the necessity for cutting it
rather than pulling it down would be obvious, even to a suicide.
The means, then, were all ready to hand. And there was the man,
charged with this self-destructive tendency, sleeping in the very
posture calculated to start it into action.
I sat still, watching him with absorbing interest, and as these
thoughts shaped themselves with more and more distinctness, an impulse
of which I was barely conscious formed itself and steadily grew in
intensity. At length I leaned forward and spoke in a low voice.
“Mr. Otway, you should not lie in that position.”
There was no answer, and he made no sign. The heavy breathing went on
with uninterrupted regularity, the eyes remained closed. Again I
spoke, this time more loudly, clearly and distinctly.
“Mr. Otway, can you hear me? If you lie as you are lying, you will
probably dream. You may have bad, dangerous dreams. You may dream of
your mother and your brother. You may dream that the peg on the wall
is beckoning to you. And then you may wake in a panic and think that
the peg is still beckoning. And then----”
I stopped suddenly. What was this that I was doing? Was it a warning
to avert disaster? So the words were framed. But I knew it was nothing
of the kind. It was suggestion, pure and almost undisguised. The
dreadful truth struck me like a blow and seemed to turn me into stone.
I sat rigid as a statue, still leaning forward with my lips parted as
if to complete that awful sentence, every moment more appalled by this
frightful thing that I had done. There came to me in a flash a vision
of my own automatism after the séance; I heard Lilith telling me how
the sleep of the drugged resembles the hypnotic trance; and again it
came to me how I had been sitting looking at that terrible peg on the
wall and--without conscious intention--creating by my will the awful
shape beneath it.
How long I should have sat, bent forward as if frozen into rigid
immobility by the horror of this hideous thing, it is impossible to
say. The realization of what I had done, that had fallen on me like a
thunderbolt, had petrified me in a posture of arrested action. It
seemed to have deprived me of the power of movement.
The place was intensely silent. The monotonous breathing of the
sleeping man--the snoring intake alternating with the soft, blowing
expiration--made no impression on the profound quiet, and the rapid
ticking of the little carriage clock on the table seemed only to make
it more intense.
Suddenly something stirred in the outer room. I sprang to my feet with
a gasp that had almost been a shriek. Probably it was only Mrs. Gregg,
but in my overwrought state the sound was vaguely alarming. I stood
for a few moments, my heart thumping and my breath coming short and
fast; then I stole on tip-toe across the room and softly opening the
door, peered into the outer room. It was in darkness except that a
bright beam of moonlight poured in at the window; but this gave enough
light to show that there was nobody in the room.
Still fearful of I knew not what, I stepped softly through the doorway
and looked about me suspiciously. The moonlight struck on a large
cupboard or wardrobe, which instantly suggested the lurking-place of
some eavesdropper and at the same time aroused horrible associations
connected with Mr. Otway’s brother; so that, in spite of my alarm, I
was impelled to pluck at the handle to satisfy myself that no figure
was hidden within. But the cupboard was locked, or, at any rate, would
not open.
Then I looked under the table and peered into the darker corners of
the room, growing--naturally--more and more nervous every moment, and
pausing from time to time to listen, or to look back through the
doorway into the bedroom, where I could see Mr. Otway lying motionless
like a sepulchral effigy.
Suddenly something stirred softly quite near to me--the sound seemed
to come from the cupboard. I could have screamed with terror. The last
vestige of my self-possession was gone, and in sheer panic I fled
across the room and down the corridor to the entrance lobby. This
place was in utter darkness, and as I frantically groped for the
latch, I felt my skin creep and break out into a chilly sweat. At last
I found the latch, dragged the door open and darted out; and as the
clang of the closing door filled the building with hollow echoes, I
ran swiftly down the stairs.
Once out in the inhabited streets, my alarm subsided somewhat; but
still the image of that motionless figure in the bedroom, the
sinister-looking peg on the wall and the recollection of those
dreadful words that I had spoken into the sleeper’s ears pursued me
with an abiding horror. I walked quickly out into the Strand, and I
was in the act of hailing a cab when I remembered that I had left my
wrist-bag hanging on the chair-back by Mr. Otway’s bedside. My purse
was in that bag. But if it had contained my entire worldly possessions
I could not have summoned up courage enough to go back for it.
The cab drew up by the kerb. I hesitated a moment, but reflecting that
it was yet hardly ten o’clock, and that someone would be waiting up
from whom I could borrow the fare, I gave the cabman the address, with
the necessary explanations, entered the cab and shut the door. But as
the crazy vehicle--it was an ancient four-wheeler--rattled over the
uneven roadways of the side streets, the scene in that warm and stuffy
bedroom was re-enacted again and again. And yet again I looked on that
ill-omened cupboard in the ghostly moonlight; speculated on the
mysterious sounds in the living-room; wondered uncomfortably if there
had been a watcher or a listener, and if so, whether that eavesdropper
knew the meaning of silent willing and suggestion.