CHAPTER XLIII.

MARGARET’S FLITTIN’.

“The meanest thing to which we bid adieu,

Loses its meanness in the parting hour.”

ELLIOTT.

Mrs. Shaw took as vehement a dislike as it was possible for one of her

gentle nature to do, against Milton. It was noisy, and smoky, and the

poor people whom she saw in the streets were dirty, and the rich ladies

over-dressed, and not a man that she saw, high or low, had his clothes

made to fit him. She was sure Margaret would never regain her lost

strength while she stayed in Milton; and she herself was afraid of one

of her old attacks of the nerves. Margaret must return with her, and

that quickly. This, if not the exact force of her words, was at any rate

the spirit of what she urged on Margaret, till the latter, weak, weary,

and broken-spirited, yielded a reluctant promise that, as soon as

Wednesday was over, she would prepare to accompany her aunt back to

town, leaving Dixon in charge of all the arrangements for paying bills,

disposing of furniture, and shutting up the house. Before that

Wednesday—that mournful Wednesday, when Mr. Hale was to be interred,

far away from either of the homes he had known in life, and far away

from the wife who lay lonely among strangers (and this last was

Margaret’s great trouble, for she thought that if she had not given way

to that overwhelming stupor during the first sad days, she could have

arranged things otherwise)—before that Wednesday, Margaret received a

letter from Mr. Bell.

“MY DEAR MARGARET:—I did mean to have returned to Milton on

Thursday, but unluckily it turns out to be one of the rare

occasions when we, Plymouth Fellows, are called upon to perform any

kind of duty, and I must not be absent from my post. Captain Lennox

and Mr. Thornton are here. The former seems a smart, well-meaning

man; and has proposed to go over to Milton, and assist you in any

search for the will; of course there is none, or you would have

found it by this time, if you followed my directions. Then the

Captain declares he must take you and his mother-in-law home; and,

in his wife’s present state, I don’t see how you can expect him to

remain away longer than Friday. However, that Dixon of yours is

trusty; and can hold her, or your own, till I come. I will put

matters into the hands of my Milton attorney if there is no will;

for I doubt this smart Captain is no great man of business.

Nevertheless, his moustachios are splendid. There will have to be a

sale, so select what things you wish to be reserved. Or you can

send a list afterwards. Now two things more, and I have done. You

know, or if you don’t, your poor father did, that you are to have

my money and goods when I die. Not that I mean to die yet; but I

name this just to explain what is coming. These Lennoxes seem very

fond of you now; and perhaps may continue to be; perhaps not. So it

is best to start with a formal agreement; namely, that you are to

pay to them two hundred and fifty pounds a year, as long as you and

they find it pleasant to live together. (This, of course, includes

Dixon; mind you don’t be cajoled into paying more for her.) Then

you won’t be thrown adrift, if some day the captain wishes to have

his house to himself, but you can carry yourself and your two

hundred and fifty pounds off somewhere else; if, indeed, I have

not claimed you to come and keep house for me first. Then as to

dress, and Dixon, and personal expenses, and confectionery (all

young ladies eat confectionery till wisdom comes by age), I shall

consult some lady of my acquaintance, and see how much you will

have from your father before fixing this. Now, Margaret, have you

flown out before you have read this far, and wondered what right

the old man has to settle your affairs for you so cavalierly? I

make no doubt you have. Yet the old man has a right. He has loved

your father for five and thirty years; he stood beside him on his

wedding-day; he closed his eyes in death. Moreover, he is your

godfather; and as he cannot do you much good spiritually, having a

hidden consciousness of your superiority in such things, he would

fain do you the poor good of endowing you materially. And the old

man has not a known relation on earth; ‘who is there to mourn for

Adam Bell?’ and his whole heart is set and bent upon this one

thing, and Margaret Hale is not the girl to say him nay. Write by

return if only two lines, to tell me your answer. But _no thanks_.”

Margaret took up a pen and scrawled with trembling hand, “Margaret Hale

is not the girl to say him nay.” In her weak state she could not think

of any other words, and yet, she was vexed to use these. But she was so

much fatigued even by this slight exertion, that if she could have

thought of another form of acceptance, she could not have sate up to

write a syllable of it. She was obliged to lie down again and try not to

think.

“My dearest child! Has that letter vexed or troubled you?”

“No!” said Margaret feebly. “I shall be better when to-morrow is over.”

“I feel sure, darling, you won’t be better till I get you out of this

horrid air. How you can have borne it these two years I can’t imagine.”

“Where could I go to? I could not leave papa and mamma.”

“Well, don’t distress yourself, my dear. I dare say it was all for the

best, only I had no conception of how you were living. Our butler’s wife

lives in a better house than this.”

“It is sometimes very pretty—in summer; you can’t judge by what it is

now. I have been very happy here,” and Margaret closed her eyes by way

of stopping the conversation.

The house teemed with comfort now, compared to what it had been. The

evenings were chilly, and by Mrs. Shaw’s directions fires were lighted

in every bedroom. She petted Margaret in every possible way, and bought

every delicacy, or soft luxury in which she herself would have burrowed

and sought comfort. But Margaret was indifferent to all these things;

or, if they forced themselves upon her attention, it was simply as

causes for gratitude to her aunt, who was putting herself so much out of

the way to think of her. She was restless, though so weak. All the day

long, she kept herself from thinking of the ceremony which was going on

at Oxford, by wandering from room to room, and languidly setting aside

such articles as she wished to retain. Dixon followed her by Mrs. Shaw’s

desire, ostensibly to receive instructions, but with a private

injunction to soothe her into repose as soon as might be.

“These books, Dixon, I will keep. All the rest will you send to Mr.

Bell? They are of a kind that he will value for themselves, as well as

for papa’s sake. This—— I should like you to take this to Mr.

Thornton, after I am gone. Stay; I will write a note with it.” And she

sate down hastily, as if afraid of thinking, and wrote:

“DEAR SIR,—The accompanying book I am sure will be valued by you

for the sake of my father, to whom it belonged.

“Yours sincerely,

MARGARET HALE.”

She set out again upon her travels through the house, turning over

articles, known to her from her childhood, with a sort of caressing

reluctance to leave them—old-fashioned, worn and shabby, as they might

be. But she hardly spoke again; and Dixon’s report to Mrs. Shaw was,

that “she doubted whether Miss Hale heard a word of what she said,

though she talked the whole time, in order to divert her intention.” The

consequence of her being on her feet all day was excessive bodily

weariness in the evening, and a better night’s rest than she had had

since she heard of Mr. Hale’s death.

At breakfast time the next day, she expressed her wish to go and bid one

or two friends good-bye. Mrs. Shaw objected:

“I am sure, my dear, you can have no friends here with whom you are

sufficiently intimate to justify you in calling upon them so soon;

before you have been at church.”

“But to-day is my only day; if Captain Lennox comes this afternoon, and

if we must—if I must really go to-morrow——”

“Oh, yes, we shall go to-morrow. I am more and more convinced that this

air is bad for you, and makes you look so pale and ill; besides, Edith

expects us; and she may be waiting for me; and you cannot be left alone,

my dear, at your age. No; if you must make these calls, I will go with

you. Dixon can get us a coach, I suppose?”

So Mrs. Shaw went to take care of Margaret and took her maid with her to

take care of the shawls and air-cushions. Margaret’s face was too sad to

lighten up into a smile at all this preparation for paying two visits,

that she had often made by herself at all hours of the day. She was half

afraid of owning that one place to which she was going was Nicholas

Higgins’; all she could do was to hope her aunt would be indisposed to

get out of the coach and walk up the court, and at every breath of wind

have her face slapped by wet clothes, hanging out to dry on ropes

stretched from house to house.

There was a little battle in Mrs. Shaw’s mind between ease and a sense

of matronly propriety; but the former gained the day; and with many an

injunction to Margaret to be careful of herself, and not to catch any

fever, such as was always lurking in such places, her aunt permitted her

to go where she had often been before without taking any precaution or

requiring any permission.

Nicholas was out; only Mary and one or two of the Boucher children at

home. Margaret was vexed with herself for not having timed her visit

better. Mary had a very blunt intellect, although her feelings were warm

and kind; and the instant she understood what Margaret’s purpose was in

coming to see them, she began to cry and sob with so little restraint

that Margaret found it useless to say any of the thousand little things

which had suggested themselves to her as she was coming along in the

coach. She could only try to comfort her a little by suggesting the

vague chance of their meeting again, at some possible time, in some

possible place, and bid her tell her father how much she wished, if he

could manage it, that he should come to see her when he had done his

work in the evening.

As she was leaving the place, she stopped and looked around; then

hesitated a little before she said:

“I should like to have some little thing to remind me of Bessy.”

Instantly Mary’s generosity was keenly alive. What could they give? And

on Margaret’s singling out a little common drinking-cup, which she

remembered as the one always standing by Bessy’s side with a drink for

her feverish lips, Mary said:

“Oh, take summat better; that only cost fourpence!”

“That will do, thank you,” said Margaret; and she went quickly away,

while the light caused by the pleasure of having something to give yet

lingered on Mary’s face.

“Now to Mrs. Thornton’s,” thought she to herself. “It must be done.” But

she looked rather rigid and pale at the thoughts of it, and had hard

work to find the exact words in which to explain to her aunt who Mrs.

Thornton was, and why she should go to bid her farewell.

They (for Mrs. Shaw alighted here) were shown into the drawing-room, in

which a fire had only just been kindled. Mrs. Shaw huddled herself up in

her shawl and shivered.

“What an icy room!” she said.

They had to wait for some time before Mrs. Thornton entered. There was

some softening in her heart towards Margaret, now that she was going

away out of her sight. She remembered her spirit, as shown at various

times and places, even more than the patience with which she had endured

long and wearing cares. Her countenance was blander than usual, as she

greeted her; there was even a shade of tenderness in her manner, as she

noticed the white, tear-swollen face, and the quiver in the voice which

Margaret tried to make so steady.

“Allow me to introduce my aunt, Mrs. Shaw. I am going away from Milton

to-morrow; I do not know if you are aware of it, but I wanted to see you

once again, Mrs. Thornton, to—to apologize for my manner the last time

I saw you; and to say that I am sure you meant kindly—however much we

may have misunderstood each other.”

Mrs. Shaw looked extremely perplexed by what Margaret had said. Thanks

for kindness! and apologies for failure in good manners! But Mrs.

Thornton replied:

“Miss Hale, I am glad you do me justice. I did no more than I believed

to be my duty in remonstrating with you as I did. I have always desired

to act the part of a friend to you. I am glad you do me justice.”

“And,” said Margaret, blushing excessively as she spoke, “will you do me

justice, and believe that though I cannot—I do not choose—to give

explanations of my conduct, I have not acted in the unbecoming way you

apprehended?”

Margaret’s voice was so soft, and her eyes so pleading, that Mrs.

Thornton was for once affected by the charm of manner to which she had

hitherto proved herself invulnerable.

“Yes, I do believe you. Let us say no more about it. Where are you going

to reside, Miss Hale? I understood from Mr. Bell that you were going to

leave Milton. You never liked Milton, you know,” said Mrs. Thornton,

with a sort of grim smile; “but for all that, you must not expect me to

congratulate you on quitting it. Where shall you live?”

“With my aunt,” replied Margaret, turning towards Mrs. Shaw.

“My niece will reside with me in Harley Street. She is almost like a

daughter to me,” said Mrs. Shaw, looking fondly at Margaret; “and I am

glad to acknowledge my own obligation for any kindness that has been

shown to her. If you and your husband ever come to the town, my son and

daughter, Captain and Mrs. Lennox, will, I am sure, join with me in

wishing to do anything in our power to show you attention.”

Mrs. Thornton thought in her own mind, that Margaret had not taken much

care to enlighten her aunt as to the relationship between the Mr. and

Mrs. Thornton, towards whom the fine-lady aunt was extending her soft

patronage; so she answered shortly,

“My husband is dead. Mr. Thornton is my son. I never go to London; so I

am not likely to be able to avail myself of your polite offers.”

At this instant Mr. Thornton entered the room; he had only just returned

from Oxford. His mourning suit spoke of the reason that had called him

there.

“John,” said his mother, “this lady is Mrs. Shaw, Miss Hale’s aunt. I am

sorry to say, that Miss Hale’s call is to wish us good-bye.”

“You are going then!” said he in a low voice.

“Yes,” said Margaret. “We leave to-morrow.”

“My son-in-law comes this evening to escort us,” said Mrs. Shaw.

Mr. Thornton turned away. He had not sat down, and now he seemed to be

examining something on the table, almost as if he had discovered an

unopened letter, which had made him forget the present company. He did

not even seem to be aware when they got up to take leave. He started

forwards, however, to hand Mrs. Shaw down to the carriage. As it drove

up, he and Margaret stood close together on the door-step, and it was

impossible but that the recollection of the day of the riot should force

itself into both their minds. Into his it came associated with the

speeches of the following day; her passionate declaration that there was

not a man in all that violent and a desperate crowd, for whom she did

not care as much as for him. And at the remembrance of her taunting

words, his brow grew stern, though his heart beat thick with longing

love. “No!” said he, “I put it to the touch once, and I lost it all. Let

her go,—with her stony heart, and her beauty;—how set and terrible her

look is now, for all her loveliness of feature! She is afraid I shall

speak what will require some stern repression. Let her go. Beauty and

heiress as she may be, she will find it hard to meet with a truer heart

than mine. Let her go!”

And there was no tone of regret, or emotion of any kind in the voice

with which he said good-bye; and the offered hand was taken with a

resolute calmness, and dropped as carelessly as if it had been a dead

and withered flower. But none in his household saw Mr. Thornton again

that day. He was busily engaged; or so he said.

Margaret’s strength was so utterly exhausted by these visits, that she

had to submit to much watching and petting, and sighing

“I-told-you-so’s,” from her aunt. Dixon said she was quite as bad as she

had been on the first day she heard of her father’s death; and she and

Mrs. Shaw consulted as to the desirableness of delaying the morrow’s

journey. But when her aunt reluctantly proposed a few days’ delay to

Margaret, the latter writhed her body as if in acute suffering, and

said:

“Oh! let us go. I cannot be patient here. I shall not get well here. I

want to forget.”

So the arrangements went on: and Captain Lennox came, and with him news

of Edith and the little boy; and Margaret found that the indifferent,

careless conversation of one who, however kind, was not too warm and

anxious a sympathiser, did her good. She roused up; and by the time that

she knew she might expect Higgins, she was able to leave the room

quietly, and await in her own chamber the expected summons.

“Eh!” said he, as she came in, “to think of th’ oud gentleman dropping

off as he did! Yo’ might ha’ knocked me down wi’ a straw when they

telled me. ‘Mr. Hale?’ said I; ‘him as was th’ parson?’ ‘Ay,’ said they.

‘Then,’ said I, ‘there’s as good a man gone as ever lived on this earth,

let who will be t’other!’ And I came to see yo’, and tell yo’ how

grieved I were, but them women in th’ kitchen wouldn’t tell yo’ I were

there. They said yo’ were ill,—and butter me, but yo’ dunnot look like

the same wench. And yo’re going to be a grand lady up i’ Lunnon, aren’t

yo’?”

“Not a grand lady,” said Margaret, half smiling.

“Well! Thornton said—says he, a day or two ago, ‘Higgins, have yo’ seen

Miss Hale?’ ‘No,’ says I; ‘there’s a pack o’ women who won’t let me at

her. But I can bide my time, if she’s ill. She and I knows each other

pretty well; and hoo’l not go doubting that I’m main sorry for th’ oud

gentleman’s death, just because I can’t get at her and tell her so.’ And

says he, ‘Yo’ll not have much time for to try and see her, my fine chap.

She’s not for staying with us a day longer nor she can help. She’s got

grand relations, and they’re carrying her off; and we shan’t see her no

more.’ ‘Measter,’ said I, ‘if I dunnot see her afore hoo goes, I’ll

strive to get up to Lunnon next Whitsuntide, that I will. I’ll not be

baulked of saying her good-bye by any relations whatsomdever. But bless

yo’, I knowed yo’d come. It were only for to humour the measter, I let

on as if I thought yo’d m’appen leave Milton without seeing me.”

“You’re quite right,” said Margaret. “You only do me justice. And you’ll

not forget me, I’m sure. If no one else in Milton remembers me, I’m

certain you will; and papa too. You know how good and tender he was.

Look, Higgins! here is his Bible. I have kept it for you. I can ill

spare it; but I know he would have liked you to have it. I’m sure you’ll

care for it, and study what is in it, for his sake.”

“Yo’ may say that. If it were the deuce’s own scribble, and yo’ axed me

to read in it for yo’r sake and the oud gentleman’s, I’d do it.

Whatten’s this, wench! I’m not going for to take yo’r brass, so dunnot

think it. We’ve been great friends, ’bout the sound o’ money passing

between us.”

“For the children—for Boucher’s children,” said Margaret, hurriedly.

“They may need it. You’ve no right to refuse it for them. I would not

give you one penny,” she said, smiling; “don’t think there’s any of it

for you.”

“Well, wench! I can nobbut say, Bless yo’! and bless yo’!—and amen.”