Chapter XXXVIII

VINICIUS to LYGIA:

“Hast thou ever been in Antium, my dear one, with Aulus and Pomponia? If

not, I shall be happy when I show this place to thee. All the way from

Laurentum there is a line of villas along the seashore; and Antium

itself is an endless succession of palaces and porticos, whose columns

in fair weather see themselves in the water. I, too, have a residence

here right over the sea, with an olive garden and a forest of cypresses

behind the villa, and when I think that the place will sometime be

thine, its marble seems whiter to me, its groves more shady, and the

sea bluer. Oh, Lygia, how good it is to live and love! Old Menikles, who

manages the villa, planted irises on the ground under myrtles, and at

sight of them the house of Aulus, the impluvium, and the garden in which

I sat near thee, came to my mind. The irises will remind thee, too, of

thy childhood’s home; therefore I am certain that thou wilt love Antium

and this villa.

“Immediately after our arrival I talked long with Paul at dinner. We

spoke of thee, and afterward he taught. I listened long, and I say only

this, that even could I write like Petronius, I should not have power to

explain everything which passed through my soul and my mind. I had not

supposed that there could be such happiness in this world, such beauty

and peace of which hitherto people had no knowledge. But I retain all

this for conversation with thee, for at the first free moment I shall be

in Rome.

“How could the earth find place at once for the Apostle Peter, Paul

of Tarsus, and Cæsar? Tell me this. I ask because I passed the evening

after Paul’s teaching with Nero, and dost thou know what I heard there?

Well, to begin with, he read his poem on the destruction of Troy, and

complained that never had he seen a burning city. He envied Priam, and

called him happy just for this, that he saw the conflagration and ruin

of his birthplace. Whereupon Tigellinus said, ‘Speak a word, O divinity,

I will take a torch, and before the night passes thou shalt see blazing

Antium.’ But Cæsar called him a fool. ‘Where,’ asked he, ‘should I go

to breathe the sea air, and preserve the voice with which the gods

have gifted me, and which men say I should preserve for the benefit of

mankind? Is it not Rome that injures me; is it not the exhalations of

the Subura and the Esquiline which add to my hoarseness? Would not

the palaces of Rome present a spectacle a hundredfold more tragic and

magnificent than Antium?’ Here all began to talk, and to say what an

unheard tragedy the picture of a city like that would be, a city which

had conquered the world turned now into a heap of gray ashes. Cæsar

declared that then his poem would surpass the songs of Homer, and he

began to describe how he would rebuild the city, and how coming ages

would admire his achievements, in presence of which all other human

works would be petty. ‘Do that! do that!’ exclaimed the drunken company.

‘I must have more faithful and more devoted friends,’ answered he.

“I confess that I was alarmed at once when I heard this, for thou art in

Rome, carissima. I laugh now at that alarm, and I think that Cæsar and

his friends, though mad, would not dare to permit such insanity. Still,

see how a man fears for his love; I should prefer that the house of

Linus were not in that narrow Trans-Tiber alley, and in a part occupied

by common people, who are less considered in such a case. For me, the

very palaces on the Palatine would not be a residence fit for thee;

hence I should wish also that nothing were lacking thee of those

ornaments and comforts to which thou art accustomed from childhood.

“Go to the house of Aulus, my Lygia. I have thought much here over

this matter. If Cæsar were in Rome, news of thy return might reach the

Palatine through slaves, turn attention to thee, and bring persecution,

because thou didst dare to act against the will of Cæsar. But he will

remain long in Antium, and before he returns slaves will have ceased to

speak of thee. Linus and Ursus can be with thee. Besides, I live in hope

that before Palatine sees Cæsar, thou, my goddess, shalt be dwelling

in thy own house on the Carinæ. Blessed be the day, hour, and moment in

which thou shalt cross my threshold; and if Christ, whom I am learning

to accept, effects this, may His name be blessed also. I shall serve

Him, and give life and blood for Him. I speak incorrectly; we shall

serve Him, both of us, as long as the threads of life hold.

“I love thee and salute thee with my whole soul.”