CHAPTER LXI

I am arrested—carried to the Marshalsea—find my old Acquaintance beau

Jackson in that Jail—he informs me of his Adventures—Strap arrives, and

with difficulty is comforted—Jackson introduces me to a Poet—I admire

his Conversation and Capacity—am deeply affected with my

Misfortune—Strap hires himself as a Journeyman Barber

But this expedient was in a few weeks followed with a consequence I did

not foresee. A player, having purchased one of the suits that were

exposed to sale, appeared in it on the stage one night, while my tailor

unfortunately happened to be present. He knew it immediately, and,

inquiring minutely into the affair, discovered my whole contrivance:

upon which he came into my lodgings, and telling me that he was very

much straitened for want of money, presented his bill, which amounted

to fifty pounds. Surprised at which unexpected address, I affected to

treat him cavalierly, swore some oaths, asked if he doubted my honour,

and telling him I should take care whom I dealt with for the future,

bade him come again in three days. He obeyed me punctually, demanded

his money, and finding himself amused with bare promises, arrested me

that very day in the street. I was not much shocked at this adventure,

which, indeed, put an end to a state of horrible expectation: but I

refused to go to a sponging-house, where I heard there was nothing but

the most flagrant imposition: and, a coach being called, was carried to

the Marshalsea, attended by a bailiff and his follower, who were very

much disappointed and chagrined at my resolution.

The turnkey, guessing from my appearance that I had money in my pocket,

received me with the repetition of the Latin word depone, and gave me

to understand, that I must pay beforehand for the apartment I should

choose to dwell in. I desired to see his conveniences, and hired a

small paltry bed-chamber for a crown a week, which, in any other place,

would not have let for half the money. Having taken possession of this

dismal habitation, I sent for Strap, and my thoughts were busied in

collecting matter of consolation to that faithful squire, when somebody

knocked at my door, which I no sooner opened, than a young fellow

entered in very shabby clothes and marvellous foul linen. After a low

bow, he called me by name, and asked if I had forgotten him. His voice

assisted me in recollecting his person, whom I soon recognised to be my

old acquaintance, Jackson, of whom mention is made in the first part of

my memoirs. I saluted him cordially, expressed my satisfaction at

finding him alive, and condoled him on his present situation, which,

however, did not seem to affect him much, for he laughed very heartily

at the occasion of our meeting so unexpectedly in this place. Our

mutual compliments being past, I inquired about his amour with the lady

of fortune, which seemed to be so near a happy conclusion when I had

the pleasure of seeing him last: and, after an immoderate fit of

laughter, he gave me to understand that he had been egregiously bit in

that affair. “You must know,” said he, “that a few days after our

adventure with the bawd, and her b—ches, I found means to be married to

that same blue lady you speak of, and passed the night with her at her

lodgings, so much to her satisfaction, that early in the morning, after

a good deal of snivelling and sobbing, she owned, that, far from being

an heiress of great fortune, she was no other than a common woman of

the town, who had decoyed me into matrimony, in order to enjoy the

privilege of a femme couverte; and that, unless I made my escape

immediately, I should be arrested for a debt of her contracting, by

bailiffs employed and instructed for that purpose. Startled at this

intimation, I rose in a twinkling, and taking leave of my spouse with

several hearty damns, got safe into the verge of the court, where I

kept snug, until I was appointed surgeon’s mate of a man-of-war at

Portsmouth; for which place I set out on Sunday, went on board of my

ship, in which I sailed to the Straits, where I had the good fortune to

be made surgeon of a sloop that came home a few months after, and was

put out of commission: whereupon, I came to London, imagining myself

forgotten, and freed from my wife and her creditors, but had not been

in town a week, before I was arrested for a debt of hers, amounting to

twenty pounds, and brought to this place, where I have been fixed by

another action since that time. However, you know my disposition, I

defy care and anxiety; and being on the half-pay list, make shift to

live here tolerably easy.” I congratulated him on his philosophy, and,

remembering that I was in his debt, repaid the money he formerly lent

me, which, I believe, was far from being unseasonable. I then inquired

about the economy of the place, which he explained to my satisfaction;

and, after we had agreed to mess together, he was just now going to

give orders for dinner when Strap arrived.

I never in my life saw sorrow so extravagantly expressed in any

countenance as in that of my honest friend, which was, indeed,

particularly adapted by nature for such impressions. When we were left

by ourselves, I communicated to him my disaster, and endeavoured to

console him with the same arguments he had formerly used to me, withal

representing the fair chance I had of being relieved in a short time by

Mr. Bowling. But his grief was unutterable: he seemed to give attention

without listening, and wrung his hands in silence; so that I was in a

fair way of being infected by his behaviour, when Jackson returned,

and, perceiving the deference I paid to Strap, although in a footman’s

habit, distributed his crumbs of comfort with such mirth, jollity and

unconcern, that the features of the distressed squire relaxed by

degrees; he recovered the use of speech, and began to be a little more

reconciled to this lamentable event. We dined together on boiled beef

and greens, brought from a cook’s shop in the neighbourhood, and,

although this meal was served up in a manner little corresponding with

the sphere of life in which I had lately lived, I made a virtue of

necessity, ate with good appetite, and treated my friends with a bottle

of wine, which had the desired effect of increasing the good humour of

my fellow prisoner, and exhilarating the spirits of Strap, who now

talked cavalierly of my misfortune.

After dinner Jackson left us to our private affairs; when I desired my

friend to pack up all our things, and carry them to some cheap lodgings

he should choose for himself in the neighbourhood of the Marshalsea,

after he had discharged my lodgings, for which purpose I gave him

money. I likewise recommended to him the keeping my misfortune secret,

and saying to my landlord, or any other who should inquire for me, that

I was gone into the country for a few weeks: at the same time I laid

strong injunctions upon him to call every second day upon Banter, in

case he should receive any letter for me from Narcissa, by the channel

of Freeman; and by all means to leave a direction for himself at my

uncle’s lodgings in Wapping, by which I might be found when my kinsman

should arrive.

When he departed to execute these orders (which by the bye were

punctually performed that very night), I found myself so little

seasoned to my situation, that I dreaded reflection, and sought shelter

from it in the company of the beau, who, promising to regale me with a

lecture upon taste, conducted me to the common side, where I saw a

number of naked miserable wretches assembled together. We had not been

here many minutes, when a figure appeared, wrapped in a dirty rug, tied

about his loins with two pieces of list, of different colours, knotted

together; having a black bushy beard, and his head covered with a huge

mass of brown periwig, which seems to have been ravished from the crown

of some scarecrow. This apparition, stalking in with great solemnity,

made a profound bow to the audience, who signified their approbation by

a general response of “How d’ye do, doctor!” He then turned towards us,

and honoured Jackson with a particular salutation, upon which my

friend, in a formal manner, introduced him to me by the name of Mr.

Melopoyn. This ceremony being over, he advanced into the middle of the

congregation, which crowded around him, and hemming three times, to my

utter astonishment, pronounced with great significance of voice and

gesture, a very elegant and ingenious discourse upon the difference

between genius and taste, illustrating his assertions with apt

quotations from the best authors, ancient as well as modern. When he

had finished his harangue, which lasted a full hour, he bowed again to

the spectators; not one of whom (I was informed) understood so much as

a sentence of what he had uttered. They manifested, however, their

admiration and esteem by voluntary contributions, which Jackson told

me, one week with another, amounted to eighteen pence. This moderate

stipend, together with some small presents that he received for making

up differences and deciding causes amongst the prisoners, just enabled

him to breathe and walk about in the grotesque figure I have described.

I understood also, that he was an excellent poet, and had composed a

tragedy, which was allowed by everybody who had seen it to be a

performance of great merit: that his learning was infinite, his morals

unexceptionable, and his modesty invincible. Such a character could not

fail of attracting my regard; I longed impatiently to be acquainted

with him, and desired Jackson would engage him to spend the evening in

my apartment. My request was granted; he favoured us with his company,

and, in the course of our conversation perceiving that I had a strong

passion for the Belles Lettres, acquitted himself so well on that

subject, that I expressed a fervent desire of seeing his productions.

In this point too he gratified my inclination; he promised to bring his

tragedy to my room next day, and in the meantime, entertained me with

some detached pieces, which gave me a very advantageous idea of his

poetical talent. Among other things I was particularly pleased with

some elegies, in imitation of Tibullus; one of which I beg leave to

submit to the reader as a specimen of his complexion and capacity:—

Where now are all my flattering dreams of joy?

Monimia, give my soul her wonted rest;—

Since first thy beauty fixed my roving eye,

heart-gnawing cares corrode my pensive breast!

Let happy lovers fly where pleasures call,

With festive songs beguile the fleeting hour,

Lead beauty through the mazes of the ball,

Or press her wanton in love’s roseate bower:

For me, no more I’ll range the empurpled mead,

Where shepherd’s pipe and virgins dance around,

Nor wander through the woodbine’s fragrant shade,

To hear the music of the grove resound.

I’ll seek some lonely church, or dreary hall,

Where fancy paints the glimmering taper blue,

Where damps hang mouldering on the ivy’d wall,

And sheeted ghosts drink up the midnight dew,

There, leagued with hopeless anguish and despair,

A while in silence o’er my fate repair:

Then, with a long farewell to love and care,

To kindred dust my weary limbs consign.

Wilt thou, Monimia, shed a gracious tear

On the cold grave where all my sorrows rest?

Strew vernal flowers, applaud my love sincere,

And bid the turf lie easy on my breast?

I was wonderfully affected with this pathetic complaint, which seemed

so well calculated for my own disappointment in love, that I could not

help attaching the idea of Narcissa to the name of Monimia, and of

forming such melancholy presages of my passion, that I could not

recover my tranquillity: and was fain to have recourse to the bottle,

which prepared me for a profound sleep that I could not otherwise have

enjoyed. Whether these impressions invited and introduced a train of

other melancholy reflections, or my fortitude was all exhausted in the

effort I made against despondence, during the first day of my

imprisonment, I cannot determine; but I awoke in the horrors, and found

my imagination haunted with such dismal apparitions, that I was ready

to despair: and I believe the reader will own, I had no great cause to

congratulate myself, when I considered my situation. I was interrupted

in the midst of these gloomy apprehensions by the arrival of Strap, who

contributed not a little to the re-establishment of my peace, by

letting me know that he had hired himself as a journeyman barber; by

which means he would be able not only to save me a considerable

expense, but even make shift to lay up something for my subsistence,

after my money should be spent, in case I should not be relieved

before.