CHAPTER LXIII

The Continuation and Conclusion of Mr. Melopoyn’s Story

‘I made shift, notwithstanding, to maintain myself till the beginning

of next winter, when I renewed my addresses to my friend Mr. Supple,

and was most graciously received. “I have been thinking of your affair,

Mr. Melopoyn,” said he, “and am determined to show how far I have your

interest at heart, by introducing you to a young nobleman of my

acquaintance, who is remarkable for his fine taste in dramatic

writings, and is besides a man of such influence that, if once he

should approve of your play, his patronage will support it against all

the efforts of envy and ignorance; for, I do assure you, that merit

alone will not bring success. I have already spoken of your performance

to Lord Rattle, and if you will call at my house in a day or two, you

shall have a letter of introduction to his lordship.” I was sensibly

touched with this mark of Mr. Supple’s friendship; and looking upon my

affair as already done, went home and imparted my good fortune to my

landlord, who, to render my appearance more acceptable to my patron,

procured a suit of new clothes for me on his own credit.

“Not to trouble you with idle particulars, I carried my tragedy to his

lordship’s lodgings, and sent it up along with Mr. Supple’s letter by

one of his servants, who desired me, by his lord’s order, to return in

a week. I did so, and was admitted to his lordship, who received me

very courteously, told me he had perused my play, which he thought, on

the whole, was the best coup d’essai he had ever seen; but that he had

marked some places in the margin, which he imagined might be altered

for the better. I was transported with this reception, and promised

(with many acknowledgments of his lordship’s generosity) to be governed

solely by his advice and direction.”

“Well, then,” said he, “write another fair copy with the alterations I

have proposed, and bring it to me as soon as possible; for I am

resolved to have it brought on the stage this winter.” You may be sure

I set about this task with alacrity; and although I found his

lordship’s remarks much more numerous and of less importance than I

expected, I thought it was not my interest to dispute upon trifles with

my patron; therefore new modelled it according to his desire in less

than a month.

“When I waited upon him with the manuscript, I found one of the actors

at breakfast with his lordship, who immediately introduced him to my

acquaintance, and desired him to read a scene of my play. This task he

performed very much to my satisfaction, with regard to emphasis and

pronunciation; but he signified his disgust at several words in every

page, which I presuming to defend, Lord Rattle told me, with a

peremptory look, I must not pretend to dispute with him, who had been a

player these twenty years, and understood the economy of the stage

better than any man living. I was forced to submit; and his lordship

proposed the same actor should read the whole play in the evening,

before some gentlemen of his acquaintance, whom he would convene to his

lodgings for that purpose.

“I was present at the reading; and I protest to you, my dear friend, I

never underwent such a severe trial in the whole course of my life at

that juncture; for although the player might be a very honest man and a

good performer, he was excessively illiterate and assuming, and made a

thousand frivolous objections, which I was not permitted to answer.

However, the piece was very much applauded on the whole; the gentlemen

present, who, I understood, were men of fortune, promised to

countenance and support it as much as they could; and Lord Rattle,

assuring me that he would act the part of a careful nurse to it,

desired me to carry it home, and alter it immediately according to

their remarks. I was fain to acquiesce in his determination, and

fulfilled his injunctions with all the expedition in my power; but,

before I could present the new copy, my good friend Mr. Supple had

disposed of his property and patent to one Mr. Brayer; so that fresh

interest was to be made with the new manager. This task Lord Rattle

undertook, having some acquaintance with him, and recommended my

performance so strongly that it was received.

“I looked upon myself now as upon the eve of reaping the fruits of all

my labour. I waited a few days in expectation of its being put in

rehearsal, and wondering at the delay, applied to my worthy patron, who

excused Mr. Brayer on account of the multiplicity of business in which

he was involved, and bade me beware of teasing the patentee. I

treasured up this caution, and exerted my particular three weeks

longer; at the end of which his lordship gave me to understand that Mr.

Brayer had read my play, and owned it had indubitable merit; but, as he

had long been pre-engaged to another author, he could not possibly

represent it that season; though, if I would reserve it for the next,

and in the interim make such alterations as he had proposed by

observations on the margin, I might depend upon his compliance.

“Thunderstruck at this disappointment, I could not, for some minutes,

utter one syllable. At length, however, I complained bitterly of the

manager’s insincerity in amusing me so long, when he knew from the

beginning that he could not gratify my desire. But his lordship

reprimanded me for my freedom, said Mr. Brayer was a man of honour, and

imputed his behaviour with respect to me nothing else but

forgetfulness. And indeed I have had some reason, since that time, to

be convinced of his bad memory; for, in spite of appearances, I will

not allow myself to interpret his conduct in any other way. Lord Rattle

observing me very much affected with my disappointment, offered his

interest to bring on my play at the other house, which I eagerly

accepting, he forthwith wrote a letter of recommendation to Mr.

Bellower, actor and prime minister to Mr. Vandal, proprietor of that

theatre, and desired me to deliver it with my tragedy, without loss of

time. Accordingly, I hastened to his house, where after having waited a

whole hour in the lobby, I was admitted to his presence, and my

performance received with great state. He told me he was extremely busy

at present, but he would peruse it as soon as possible, and bade me to

call again in a week. I took my leave, not a little astonished at the

pert and supercilious behaviour of this stage player, who had not

treated me with good manners; and began to think the dignity of a poet

greatly impaired since the days of Euripides and Sophocles; but all

this was nothing in comparison of what I have since observed.

“Well, Mr. Random, I went back at the appointed time, and was told that

Mr. Bellower was engaged, and could not see me, I repeated my visit a

few days after, and having waited a considerable time was favoured with

an audience, during which, he said, he had not as yet read my play.

Nettled at this usage, I could contain myself no longer, but, telling

him, I imagined he would have paid more deference to Lord Rattle’s

recommendation, demanded my manuscript with some expression of

resentment. “Ay,” said he in a theatrical tone, “with all my heart.”

Then pulling out the drawer of the bureau at which he sat, he took out

a bundle, and threw it upon a table that was near him, pronouncing the

word, “There!” with great disdain. I took it up, and perceiving with

some surprise, that it was a comedy, told him it did not belong to me;

upon which he offered another which I also disclaimed. A third was

produced, and rejected for the same reason. At length he pulled out a

whole bundle, and spread them before me, saying, “There are seven—take

which you please—or take them all.” I singled out my own, and went

away, struck dumb with admiration at what I had seen—not so much on

account of his insolence, as of the number of new plays which from this

circumstance I concluded were yearly offered to the stage. You may be

sure, I did not fail to carry my complaint to my patron, who did not

receive it with all the indignation I expected; but taxed me with

precipitation, and told me I must lay my account with bearing with the

humours of the players, if I intended to write for the stage. “There is

now no other remedy,” he said, “but to keep it till the next season for

Mr. Brayer, and alter it at your leisure, in the summer, according to

his directions.” I was now reduced to a terrible alternative, either to

quit all hopes of my tragedy, from which I had all along promised

myself a large share of fortune and reputation, or to encounter eight

long months of adversity in preparing for and expecting its appearance.

This last penance, painful as it was, seemed most eligible to my

reflection at that time, and therefore I resolved to undergo it.

“Why should I tire you with particulars of my consequence? I wrestled

with extreme poverty until the time of my probation was expired; and

went to my Lord Rattle in order to remind him of my affair, when I

understood, to my great concern, that his lordship was just on the

point of going abroad, and which was still more unfortunate for me, Mr.

Brayer had gone into the country; so that my generous patron had it not

in his power to introduce me personally, as he intended: however, he

wrote a very strong letter to the manager in my favour, and put him in

mind of the promise he had made in behalf of my play.

“As soon as I was certified of Brayer’s return, I went to his house

with this letter, but was told he was gone out. I called again next day

early in the morning, received the same answer, and was desired to

leave my name and business: I did so, and returned the day after, when

the servant still affirmed that his master was gone abroad; though I

perceived him, as I retired, observing me through a window. Incensed at

this discovery, I went to a coffee-house hard by, and, inclosing his

lordship’s letter in one from myself, demanded a categorical answer. I

sent it to his house by a porter, who returned in a few minutes, and

told me Mr. Brayer would be glad to see me at that instant. I obeyed

the summons, and was received with such profusion of compliments and

apologies, that my resentment immediately subsided, and I was even in

pain for the concern which this holiest man showed at the mistake of

his servant, who, it seems, had been ordered to deny him to everybody

but me. He expressed the utmost veneration for his good and noble

friend, Lord Rattle, whom he should always be proud to serve; promised

to peruse the play with all dispatch, and give me a meeting upon it:

and, as a testimony of his esteem, made me a present of a general order

for the season, by which I should be admitted to any part of the

theatre. This was a very agreeable compliment to me, whose greatest

pleasure consisted in seeing dramatic performances, and you need not

doubt that I often availed myself of my privilege. As I had an

opportunity of being behind the scenes when I pleased, I frequently

conversed with Mr. Brayer about my play, and asked when he meant to put

it into rehearsal; but he had always so much business upon his hands,

that it remained with him unopened a considerable while; and I became

very uneasy about the season, that wasted apace, when I saw in the

papers another new play advertised, which had been written, offered,

accepted, and rehearsed, in the compass of three months. You may easily

guess how much I was confounded at this event! I own to you that, in

the first transports of my anger, I suspected Mr. Brayer of having

acted towards me in the most pitiful perfidious manner; and was

actually glad at his disappointment in the success of his favourite

piece, which, by the strength of art, lingered till the third night,

and then died in a deplorable manner. But now that passion has no share

in my reflection, I am willing to ascribe his behaviour to his want of

memory or want of judgment, which, you know, are natural defects, that

are more worthy of compassion than reproach.

“About this time I happened to be in company with a gentlewoman, who,

having heard of my tragedy, told me, she was well acquainted with the

wife of a gentleman who was very well known to a lady, who had great

interest with a person who was intimate with Earl Sheerwit: and that,

if I pleased, she would use her influence in my behalf. As this

nobleman had the character of a Maecenas in the nation, and could stamp

a value upon any work by his sole countenance and approbation, I

accepted her offer with eagerness, in full confidence of seeing my

reputation established, and my wishes fulfilled in a very short time,

provided that I should have the good fortune to please his lordship’s

taste. I withdrew the manuscript from the hands of Mr. Brayer, and

committed it to the care of this gentlewoman, who laboured so

effectually in my interest, that in less than a month it was conveyed

to the earl, and in a few weeks after, I had the satisfaction to hear

that he had read and approved it very much. Transported with this piece

of intelligence, I flattered myself with the hopes of his interesting

himself in its favour, but, hearing no more of this matter in three

whole months, I began (God forgive me!) to suspect the veracity of the

person who brought me the good tidings; for I thought it impossible

that a man of his rank and character, who knew the difficulty of

writing a good tragedy, and understood the dignity of the work, should

read and applaud an essay of this kind, without feeling an inclination

to befriend the author, whom his countenance alone could raise above

dependence. But it was not long before I found my friend very much

wronged by my opinion.

“You must know, that the civilities I had received from Lord Rattle,

and the desire he manifested to promote the success of my play,

encouraged me to write an account of my bad fortune to his lordship,

who condescended so far as to desire, by letter, a young squire of a

great estate, with whom he was intimate, to espouse my cause, and, in

particular, make me acquainted with one Mr. Marmozet, a celebrated

player, who had lately appeared on the stage with astonishing eclat,

and bore such sway in the house where he acted, that the managers durst

not refuse anything he recommended. The young gentleman, whom Lord

Rattle had employed for this purpose, being diffident of his own

interest with Mr. Marmozet, had recourse to a nobleman of his

acquaintance, who, at his solicitation, was so good as to introduce me

to him; and the conversation turning upon my performance, I was not a

little surprised, as well as pleased, to hear that Earl Sheerwit had

spoken very much in its praise, and even sent Mr. Marmozet the copy,

with a message, expressing a desire that he would act in it next

season. Nor was this favourite actor backward in commending the piece,

which he mentioned with such expressions of regard, that I do not

choose to repeat: assuring me that he would appear in it, provided he

should be engaged to play at all during the ensuing season. In the

meantime, he desired I would give him leave to peruse it in the

country, whither he intended to remove next day, that he might have

leisure to consider and point out such alterations as might, perhaps,

be necessary for its representation; and took my direction, that he

might communicate by letter the observations he should make. Trusting

to these assurances, and the interest which had been made in my behalf,

I hugged myself in the expectation of seeing it not only acted, but

acted to the greatest advantage, and this I thought could not fail of

recompensing me in ample manner for the anxiety and affliction I had

undergone; but six weeks being elapsed, I did not know how to reconcile

Mr. Marmozet’s silence with his promise of writing to me in ten days

after he set out for the country; however, I was at last favoured with

a letter, importing that he had made some remarks on my tragedy, which

he would freely impart at meeting, and advised me to put it, without

loss of time, into the hands of that manager, who had the best company;

as he himself was quite uncertain whether or not he should be engaged

that winter. I was a good deal alarmed at this last part of his letter,

and advised about it with a friend, who told me, it was a plain

indication of Mr. Marmozet’s desire to get rid of his promise; that his

pretended uncertainty about acting next winter was no other than a

scandalous evasion; for, to his certain knowledge, he was already

engaged, or at least in terms, with Mr. Vandal; and that his design was

to disappoint me, in favour of a new comedy, which he had purchased of

the author, and intended to bring upon the stage for his own advantage.

“In short, my dear sir, this person, who, I must own, is if a sanguine

complexion, handled the moral character of Mr. Marmozet with such

severity, that I began to suspect him of some particular prejudice, and

put myself upon my guard against his insinuations. I ought to crave

pardon for this tedious narration of trivial circumstances, which,

however interesting they may be to me, must certainly be very dry and

insipid to the ear of one unconcerned in the affair. But I understand

the meaning of your looks, and will proceed.

“Well, sir, Mr. Marmozet, upon his return to town, treated me with

uncommon complaisance, and invited me to his lodgings, where he

proposed to communicate his remarks, which, I confess, were more

unfavourable than I expected; but I answered his objections, and, as I

thought, brought him over to my opinion; for, on the whole, he

signified the highest approbation of the performance. In the course of

our dispute, I was not a little surprised to find this poor gentleman’s

memory so treacherous, as to let him forget what he had said to me,

before he went out of town, in regard to Earl Sheerwit’s opinion of my

play, which he now professed himself ignorant of; and I was extremely

mortified at hearing from his own mouth, that his interest with Mr.

Vandal was so very low as to be insufficient of itself to bring a new

piece upon the stage. I then begged his advice, and he counselled me to

apply to Earl Sheerwit, for a message in my favour to the manager, who

would not presume to refuse anything recommended by so great man; and

he was so kind as to promise to second this message with all his power.

I had immediate recourse to the worthy gentlewoman my friend, already

mentioned, who opened the channels of her conveyance with such

expedition, that in a few days I had a promise of the message, provided

I could assure myself of Mr. Vandal’s being unengaged to any other

writer; for his lordship did not choose to condescend so far, until he

should understand that there was a probability (at least) of

succeeding; at the same time that blessed me with this piece of news, I

was startled at another, by the same channel of communication; which

was, that Mr. Marmozet, before he advised me to this application, had

informed the earl that he had read my play, and found it altogether

unfit for the stage. Though I could not doubt the certainty of this

intelligence, I believed there was some inapprehension in the case;

and, without taking any notice of it, told Mr. Marmozet the answer I

had been favoured with; and he promised to ask Mr. Vandal the question

proposed. I waited upon him in a day or two, when he gave me to

understand, that Mr. Vandal having professed himself free of all

engagements, he had put my play into his hands, and represented it as a

piece strongly recommended by Earl Sheerwit, who (he assured him) would

honour him with a message in its favour; and he desired me to call for

an answer at Mr. Vandal’s house in three days. I followed his

directions, and found the manager, who being made acquainted with my

business, owned that Mr. Marmozet had given him a manuscript play, but

denied that he had mentioned Earl Sheerwit’s name. When I informed him

of the circumstances of the affair, he said, he had no engagement with

any author; that he would read my tragedy forthwith; and did not

believe he should venture to reject it in contradiction to his

lordship’s opinion, for which he had the utmost veneration, but put it

into rehearsal without loss of time. I was so much intoxicated with

this encouragement, that I overlooked the mysterious conduct of Mr.

Marmozet, and attended the manager at the time appointed, when, to my

infinite confusion, he pronounced my play improper for the stage, and

rejected it accordingly. As soon as I could recollect myself from the

disorder into which this unexpected refusal had thrown me, I expressed

a desire of hearing his objections, which were so groundless,

indistinct, and unintelligible, that I persuaded myself he had not at

all perused the piece, but had been prompted by somebody whose lessons

he had not rightly retained. However, I have been since informed that

the poor man’s head, which was not naturally very clear, had been

disordered with superstition, and that he laboured under the tyranny of

a wife, and the terrors of hellfire at the same time.

“Precipitated in this manner from the highest pinnacle of hope to the

abyss of despondence, I was ready to sink under the burden of my

affliction, and, in the bitterness of my anguish, could not help

entertaining some doubts of Mr. Marmozet’s integrity, when I

recollected and compared the circumstances of his conduct towards me. I

was encouraged in this suspicion by being told that my Lord Sheerwit

had spoken of his character with great contempt: and, in particular,

resented his insolence in opposing his own taste to that of his

lordship, concerning my tragedy. While I hesitated between different

opinions of the matter, that friend, who (as I told you before) was a

little hot-headed, favoured me with a visit, and, having heard a

circumstantial account of the whole affair, could not contain his

indignation, but affirmed without ceremony that Mr. Marmozet was the

sole occasion of my disappointment; that he acted from first to last

with the most perfidious dissimulation, cajoling me with insinuating

civilities, while he underhand employed all his art and influence to

prejudice the ignorant manager against my performance; that nothing

could equal his hypocrisy but his avarice, which engrossed the

faculties of his soul so much, that he scrupled not to be guilty of the

meanest practices to gratify that sordid appetite; that, in consequence

of this disposition, he had prostituted his honour in betraying my

inexperience, and in undermining the interest of another author of

established reputation, who had also offered a tragedy to the stage,

which he thought would interfere with the success of the comedy he had

bought, and determined to bring on at all events.

“I was shocked at the description of such a monster, which I could not

believe existed in the world, bad as it is, and argued against the

asseverations of my friend, by demonstrating the bad policy of such

behaviour, which could not fail of entailing infamy upon the author;

and the small temptation that a man of Mr. Marmozet’s figure and

success could have to consult his interest in such a grovelling manner,

which must create contempt and abhorrence of him in his patrons, and

effectually deprive him of the countenance and protection he now enjoys

in such an eminent degree. He pretended to laugh at my simplicity, and

asked, if I knew for which of his virtues he was so much caressed by

the people of fashion. “It is not,” said he, “for the qualities of his

heart, that this little parasite is invited to the tables of dukes and

lords, who hire extraordinary cooks for his entertainment. His avarice

they see not, his ingratitude they feel not, his hypocrisy accommodates

itself to their humours, and is of consequence pleasing; but he is

chiefly courted for his buffoonery, and will be admitted into the

choicest parties of quality for his talent of mimicking Punch and his

wife Joan, when a poet of the most excellent genius is not able to

attract the least regard.” God forbid, Mr. Random, that I should credit

assertions that degrade the dignity of our superiors so much, and

represent the poor man as the most abject of all beings! No, I looked

upon them as the hyperboles of passion; and though that comedy of which

he spoke did actually appear, I dare not doubt the innocence of Mr.

Marmozet, who, I am told, is as much as ever in favour with the earl; a

circumstance that, surely, could not be, unless he had vindicated his

character to the satisfaction of his lordship. Pray forgive this long

digression, and give me the hearing a little longer; for, thank heaven!

I am now near the goal.

“Baffled in all my attempts, I despaired of seeing my play acted; and

bethought myself of choosing some employment that might afford a sure,

though mean subsistence; but my landlord, to whom I was by this time

considerably indebted, and who had laid his account with having his

money paid all in a heap from the profits of my third night, could not

brook his disappointment, therefore made another effort in my behalf,

and, by dint of interest, procured a message from a lady of fashion to

Mr. Brayer, who had always professed a great veneration for her,

desiring that he would set up my play forthwith, and assuring him that

she and all her friends would support it in the performance. To

strengthen my interest, she engaged his best actors in my cause; and,

in short, exerted herself so much, that it was again received, and my

hopes began to revive. But Mr. Brayer, honest man, was so much

engrossed by business of vast consequence, though to appearance he had

nothing at all to do, that he could not find time to read it until the

season was pretty far advanced; and read it he must, for

notwithstanding his having perused it before, his memory did not retain

one circumstance of the matter.

“At length he favoured it with his attention, and having proposed

certain alterations, sent his duty to the lady who patronised it, and

promised, on his honour, to bring it on next winter, provided these

alterations should be made, and the copy delivered to him before the

end of April. With an aching heart, I submitted to these conditions,

and performed them accordingly: but fortune owed me another unforeseen

mortification; Mr. Marmozet, during the summer, became joint patentee

with Mr. Brayer, so that when I claimed performance of articles, I was

told he could do nothing without the consent of his partner, who was

pre-engaged to another author.

“My condition was rendered desperate by the death of my good friend and

landlord, whose executors obtained a judgment against my effects, which

they seized, turned me out into the streets naked, friendless, and

forlorn: there I was arrested at the suit of my tailor, and thrown into

the prison, where I have made shift to live these five weeks on the

bounty of my fellow prisoners, who, I hope, are not the worse for the

instruction and good offices by which I manifest my gratitude; but in

spite of all their charitable endeavours, my life was scarce tolerable,

until your uncommon benevolence enabled me to enjoy it with comfort.”