CHAPTER II
THE SECRET OF THE AZURE
To lose a child he loves is undoubtedly the greatest catastrophe that
can happen to a man. I do not refer to its death.
A child wanders into the street, or is left by its nurse for a moment,
and vanishes. At first the thing is not realised. There is a pang and
hurry at the heart which half vanishes, whilst the understanding
explains that in a civilised city, if a child gets lost, it will be
found and brought back by the neighbours or the police.
But the police know nothing of the matter, or the neighbours, and the
hours pass. Any minute may bring back the wanderer; but the minutes
pass, and the day wears into evening, and the evening to night, and the
night to dawn, and the common sounds of a new day begin.
You cannot remain at home for restlessness; you go out, only to return
hurriedly for news. You are eternally listening, and what you hear
shocks you; the common sounds of life, the roll of the carts and cabs
in the street, the footsteps of the passers-by, are full of an
indescribable mournfulness; music increases your misery into madness,
and the joy of others is monstrous as laughter heard in hell.
If some one were to bring you the dead body of the child, you might
weep, but you would bless him, for it is the uncertainty that kills.
You go mad, or go on living. Years pass by, and you are an old man.
You say to yourself: “He would have been twenty years of age to-day.”
There is not in the old ferocious penal code of our forefathers a
punishment adequate to the case of the man or woman who steals a child.
Lestrange was a wealthy man, and one hope remained to him, that the
children might have been rescued by some passing ship. It was not the
case of children lost in a city, but in the broad Pacific, where ships
travel from all ports to all ports, and to advertise his loss
adequately it was necessary to placard the world. Ten thousand dollars
was the reward offered for news of the lost ones, twenty thousand for
the recovery; and the advertisement appeared in every newspaper
likely to reach the eyes of a sailor, from the _Liverpool Post_ to
the _Dead Bird_.
The years passed without anything definite coming in answer to all
these advertisements. Once news came of two children saved from the sea
in the neighbourhood of the Gilberts, and it was not false news, but
they were not the children he was seeking for. This incident at once
depressed and stimulated him, for it seemed to say, “If these children
have been saved, why not yours?”
The strange thing was, that in his heart he felt a certainty that they
were alive. His intellect suggested their death in twenty different
forms; but a whisper, somewhere out of that great blue ocean, told him
at intervals that what he sought was there, living, and waiting for him.
He was somewhat of the same temperament as Emmeline—a dreamer, with a
mind tuned to receive and record the fine rays that fill this world
flowing from intellect to intellect, and even from what we call
inanimate things. A coarser nature would, though feeling, perhaps, as
acutely the grief, have given up in despair the search. But he kept on;
and at the end of the fifth year, so far from desisting, he chartered a
schooner and passed eighteen months in a fruitless search, calling at
little-known islands, and once, unknowing, at an island only three
hundred miles away from the tiny island of this story.
If you wish to feel the hopelessness of this unguided search, do not
look at a map of the Pacific, but go there. Hundreds and hundreds of
thousands of square leagues of sea, thousands of islands, reefs, atolls.
Up to a few years ago there were many small islands utterly unknown;
even still there are some, though the charts of the Pacific are the
greatest triumphs of hydrography; and though the island of the story
was actually on the Admiralty charts, of what use was that fact to
Lestrange?
He would have continued searching, but he dared not, for the desolation
of the sea had touched him.
In that eighteen months the Pacific explained itself to him in part,
explained its vastness, its secrecy and inviolability. The schooner
lifted veil upon veil of distance, and veil upon veil lay beyond. He
could only move in a right line; to search the wilderness of water with
any hope, one would have to be endowed with the gift of moving in all
directions at once.
He would often lean over the bulwark rail and watch the swell slip by,
as if questioning the water. Then the sunsets began to weigh upon his
heart, and the stars to speak to him in a new language, and he knew
that it was time to return, if he would return with a whole mind.
When he got back to San Francisco he called upon his agent, Wannamaker
of Kearney Street, but there was still no news.