Chapter 39

It was the second week in May, in which the three young ladies set out

together from Gracechurch Street for the town of ----, in Hertfordshire;

and, as they drew near the appointed inn where Mr. Bennet's carriage

was to meet them, they quickly perceived, in token of the coachman's

punctuality, both Kitty and Lydia looking out of a dining-room upstairs.

These two girls had been above an hour in the place, happily employed

in visiting an opposite milliner, watching the sentinel on guard, and

dressing a salad and cucumber.

After welcoming their sisters, they triumphantly displayed a table set

out with such cold meat as an inn larder usually affords, exclaiming,

"Is not this nice? Is not this an agreeable surprise?"

"And we mean to treat you all," added Lydia, "but you must lend us the

money, for we have just spent ours at the shop out there." Then, showing

her purchases--"Look here, I have bought this bonnet. I do not think

it is very pretty; but I thought I might as well buy it as not. I shall

pull it to pieces as soon as I get home, and see if I can make it up any

better."

And when her sisters abused it as ugly, she added, with perfect

unconcern, "Oh! but there were two or three much uglier in the shop; and

when I have bought some prettier-coloured satin to trim it with fresh, I

think it will be very tolerable. Besides, it will not much signify what

one wears this summer, after the ----shire have left Meryton, and they

are going in a fortnight."

"Are they indeed!" cried Elizabeth, with the greatest satisfaction.

"They are going to be encamped near Brighton; and I do so want papa to

take us all there for the summer! It would be such a delicious scheme;

and I dare say would hardly cost anything at all. Mamma would like to

go too of all things! Only think what a miserable summer else we shall

have!"

"Yes," thought Elizabeth, "_that_ would be a delightful scheme indeed,

and completely do for us at once. Good Heaven! Brighton, and a whole

campful of soldiers, to us, who have been overset already by one poor

regiment of militia, and the monthly balls of Meryton!"

"Now I have got some news for you," said Lydia, as they sat down at

table. "What do you think? It is excellent news--capital news--and about

a certain person we all like!"

Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other, and the waiter was told he need

not stay. Lydia laughed, and said:

"Aye, that is just like your formality and discretion. You thought the

waiter must not hear, as if he cared! I dare say he often hears worse

things said than I am going to say. But he is an ugly fellow! I am glad

he is gone. I never saw such a long chin in my life. Well, but now for

my news; it is about dear Wickham; too good for the waiter, is it not?

There is no danger of Wickham's marrying Mary King. There's for you! She

is gone down to her uncle at Liverpool: gone to stay. Wickham is safe."

"And Mary King is safe!" added Elizabeth; "safe from a connection

imprudent as to fortune."

"She is a great fool for going away, if she liked him."

"But I hope there is no strong attachment on either side," said Jane.

"I am sure there is not on _his_. I will answer for it, he never cared

three straws about her--who could about such a nasty little freckled

thing?"

Elizabeth was shocked to think that, however incapable of such

coarseness of _expression_ herself, the coarseness of the _sentiment_

was little other than her own breast had harboured and fancied liberal!

As soon as all had ate, and the elder ones paid, the carriage was

ordered; and after some contrivance, the whole party, with all their

boxes, work-bags, and parcels, and the unwelcome addition of Kitty's and

Lydia's purchases, were seated in it.

"How nicely we are all crammed in," cried Lydia. "I am glad I bought my

bonnet, if it is only for the fun of having another bandbox! Well, now

let us be quite comfortable and snug, and talk and laugh all the way

home. And in the first place, let us hear what has happened to you all

since you went away. Have you seen any pleasant men? Have you had any

flirting? I was in great hopes that one of you would have got a husband

before you came back. Jane will be quite an old maid soon, I declare.

She is almost three-and-twenty! Lord, how ashamed I should be of not

being married before three-and-twenty! My aunt Phillips wants you so to

get husbands, you can't think. She says Lizzy had better have taken Mr.

Collins; but _I_ do not think there would have been any fun in it. Lord!

how I should like to be married before any of you; and then I would

chaperon you about to all the balls. Dear me! we had such a good piece

of fun the other day at Colonel Forster's. Kitty and me were to spend

the day there, and Mrs. Forster promised to have a little dance in the

evening; (by the bye, Mrs. Forster and me are _such_ friends!) and so

she asked the two Harringtons to come, but Harriet was ill, and so Pen

was forced to come by herself; and then, what do you think we did? We

dressed up Chamberlayne in woman's clothes on purpose to pass for a

lady, only think what fun! Not a soul knew of it, but Colonel and Mrs.

Forster, and Kitty and me, except my aunt, for we were forced to borrow

one of her gowns; and you cannot imagine how well he looked! When Denny,

and Wickham, and Pratt, and two or three more of the men came in, they

did not know him in the least. Lord! how I laughed! and so did Mrs.

Forster. I thought I should have died. And _that_ made the men suspect

something, and then they soon found out what was the matter."

With such kinds of histories of their parties and good jokes, did

Lydia, assisted by Kitty's hints and additions, endeavour to amuse her

companions all the way to Longbourn. Elizabeth listened as little as she

could, but there was no escaping the frequent mention of Wickham's name.

Their reception at home was most kind. Mrs. Bennet rejoiced to see Jane

in undiminished beauty; and more than once during dinner did Mr. Bennet

say voluntarily to Elizabeth:

"I am glad you are come back, Lizzy."

Their party in the dining-room was large, for almost all the Lucases

came to meet Maria and hear the news; and various were the subjects that

occupied them: Lady Lucas was inquiring of Maria, after the welfare and

poultry of her eldest daughter; Mrs. Bennet was doubly engaged, on one

hand collecting an account of the present fashions from Jane, who sat

some way below her, and, on the other, retailing them all to the younger

Lucases; and Lydia, in a voice rather louder than any other person's,

was enumerating the various pleasures of the morning to anybody who

would hear her.

"Oh! Mary," said she, "I wish you had gone with us, for we had such fun!

As we went along, Kitty and I drew up the blinds, and pretended there

was nobody in the coach; and I should have gone so all the way, if Kitty

had not been sick; and when we got to the George, I do think we behaved

very handsomely, for we treated the other three with the nicest cold

luncheon in the world, and if you would have gone, we would have treated

you too. And then when we came away it was such fun! I thought we never

should have got into the coach. I was ready to die of laughter. And then

we were so merry all the way home! we talked and laughed so loud, that

anybody might have heard us ten miles off!"

To this Mary very gravely replied, "Far be it from me, my dear sister,

to depreciate such pleasures! They would doubtless be congenial with the

generality of female minds. But I confess they would have no charms for

_me_--I should infinitely prefer a book."

But of this answer Lydia heard not a word. She seldom listened to

anybody for more than half a minute, and never attended to Mary at all.

In the afternoon Lydia was urgent with the rest of the girls to walk

to Meryton, and to see how everybody went on; but Elizabeth steadily

opposed the scheme. It should not be said that the Miss Bennets could

not be at home half a day before they were in pursuit of the officers.

There was another reason too for her opposition. She dreaded seeing Mr.

Wickham again, and was resolved to avoid it as long as possible. The

comfort to _her_ of the regiment's approaching removal was indeed beyond

expression. In a fortnight they were to go--and once gone, she hoped

there could be nothing more to plague her on his account.

She had not been many hours at home before she found that the Brighton

scheme, of which Lydia had given them a hint at the inn, was under

frequent discussion between her parents. Elizabeth saw directly that her

father had not the smallest intention of yielding; but his answers were

at the same time so vague and equivocal, that her mother, though often

disheartened, had never yet despaired of succeeding at last.