CHAPTER III.

ON COURTSHIP, AND THE MANIFESTATION OF THE FEELINGS BY OUTWARD SIGNS AND

DEEDS.

A poor man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low family

possessed of mediocre qualities, a neighbour possessed of wealth, and

one under the control of his father, mother or brothers, should not

marry without endeavouring to gain over the girl from her childhood to

love and esteem them. Thus a boy separated from his parents, and living

in the house of his uncle, should try to gain over the daughter of his

uncle, or some other girl, even though she be previously betrothed to

another. And this way of gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is

unexceptional, because Dharma can be accomplished by means of it, as

well as by any other way of marriage.

When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should spend his

time with her and amuse her with various games and diversions fitted for

their age and acquaintanceship, such as picking and collecting flowers,

making garlands of flowers, playing the parts of members of a fictitious

family, cooking food, playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of

odd and even, the game of finding out the middle finger, the game of six

pebbles, and such other games as may be prevalent in the country, and

agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In addition to this, he should

carry on various amusing games played by several persons together, such

as hide and seek, playing with seeds, hiding things in several small

heaps of wheat and looking for them, blind-man's buff, gymnastic

exercises, and other games of the same sort, in company with the girl,

her friends and female attendants. The man should also show great

kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks fit to be trusted, and should

also make new acquaintances, but above all he should attach to himself

by kindness and little services the daughter of the girl's nurse, for

if she be gained over, even though she comes to know of his design, she

does not cause any obstruction, but is sometimes even able to effect an

union between him and the girl. And though she knows the true character

of the man, she always talks of his many excellent qualities to the

parents and relations of the girl, even though she may not be desired to

do so by him.

In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most delight in,

and he should get for her whatever she may have a desire to possess.

Thus he should procure for her such playthings as may be hardly known to

other girls. He may also show her a ball dyed with various colours, and

other curiosities of the same sort; and should give her dolls made of

cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, ivory, wax, flour, or earth; also utensils

for cooking food, and figures in wood, such as a man and woman standing,

a pair of rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo,

or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and cages for parrots, cuckoos,

starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels of different

sorts and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about, guitars,

stands for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow

ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well as sandal-wood, saffron,

betel nut and betel leaves. Such things should be given at different

times whenever he gets a good opportunity of meeting her, and some of

them should be given in private, and some in public, according to

circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to make her look

upon him as one who would do for her everything that she wanted to be

done.

In the next place he should get her to meet him in some place privately,

and should then tell her that the reason of his giving presents to her

in secret was the fear that the parents of both of them might be

displeased, and then he may add that the things which he had given her

had been much desired by other people. When her love begins to show

signs of increasing he should relate to her agreeable stories if she

expresses a wish to hear such narratives. Or if she takes delight in

legerdemain, he should amaze her by performing various tricks of

jugglery; or if she feels a great curiosity to see a performance of the

various arts, he should show his own skill in them. When she is

delighted with singing he should entertain her with music, and on

certain days, and at the time of going together to moonlight fairs and

festivals, and at the time of her return after being absent from home,

he should present her with bouquets of flowers, and with chaplets for

the head, and with ear ornaments and rings, for these are the proper

occasions on which such things should be presented.

He should also teach the daughter of the girl's nurse all the sixty-four

means of pleasure practised by men, and under this pretext should also

inform her of his great skill in the art of sexual enjoyment. All this

time he should wear a fine dress, and make as good an appearance as

possible, for young women love men who live with them, and who are

handsome, good looking and well dressed. As for the saying that though

women may fall in love, they still make no effort themselves to gain

over the object of their affections, that is only a matter of idle talk.

Now a girl always shows her love by outward signs and actions, such as

the following:--She never looks the man in the face, and becomes abashed

when she is looked at by him; under some pretext or other she shows her

limbs to him; she looks secretly at him though he has gone away from her

side; hangs down her head when she is asked some question by him, and

answers in indistinct words and unfinished sentences, delights to be in

his company for a long time, speaks to her attendants in a peculiar tone

with the hope of attracting his attention towards her when she is at a

distance from him, does not wish to go from the place where he is, under

some pretext or other she makes him look at different things, narrates

to him tales and stories very slowly so that she may continue conversing

with him for a long time, kisses and embraces before him a child sitting

in her lap, draws ornamental marks on the foreheads of her female

servants, performs sportive and graceful movements when her attendants

speak jestingly to her in the presence of her lover, confides in her

lover's friends, and respects and obeys them, shows kindness to his

servants, converses with them, and engages them to do her work as if she

were their mistress, and listens attentively to them when they tell

stories about her lover to somebody else, enters his house when induced

to do so by the daughter of her nurse, and by her assistance manages to

converse and play with him, avoids being seen by her lover when she is

not dressed and decorated, gives him by the hand of her female friend

her ear ornament, ring, or garland of flowers that he may have asked to

see, always wears anything that he may have presented to her, become

dejected when any other bridegroom is mentioned by her parents, and does

not mix with those who may be of her party, or who may support his

claims.

There are also some verses on the subject as follows:--

A man, who has seen and perceived the feelings of the girl towards him,

and who has noticed the outward signs and movements by which those

feelings are expressed, should do everything in his power to effect an

union with her. He should gain over a young girl by childlike sports, a

damsel come of age by his skill in the arts, and a girl that loves him

by having recourse to persons in whom she confides.