CHAPTER V.
ON CERTAIN FORMS OF MARRIAGE[50]
When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send
the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has
confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests.
On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of
conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the
beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature and affection of the
girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she has been sent by
the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of
the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities
of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing
to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other
lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their
parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote
samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others,
who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their
own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. And she should
also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being
troubled by rival wives, became wretched and miserable, and were finally
abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual
happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the
girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavour to allay her shame[51]
and her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might
result from the marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a
female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for
her, the places he frequented, and the endeavours he made to meet her,
and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take
you away forcibly and unexpectedly."
_The Forms of Marriage._
When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife,
he should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and
having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation
to the fire he should marry her according to the precepts of the
religious law. After this he should inform his parents of the fact,
because it is the opinion of ancient authors that a marriage solemnly
contracted in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be set aside.
After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should
gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the
girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent
to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about,
and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by
affectionate presents and favourable conduct. In this manner the man
should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.
When the girl cannot make up her mind, or will not express her readiness
to marry, the man should obtain her in any one of the following ways:--
(1). On a fitting occasion, and under some excuse, he should by means of
a female friend with whom he is well acquainted, and whom he can trust,
and who also is well known to the girl's family, get the girl brought
unexpectedly to his house, and he should then bring fire from the house
of a Brahman, and proceed as before described.
(2.) When the marriage of the girl with some other person draws near,
the man should disparage the future husband to the utmost in the mind of
the mother of the girl, and then having got the girl to come with her
mother's consent to a neighbouring house, he should bring fire from the
house of a Brahman, and proceed as above.
(3.) The man should become a great friend of the brother of the girl,
the said brother being of the same age as himself, and addicted to
courtesans, and to intrigues with the wives of other people, and should
give him assistance in such matters, and also give him occasional
presents. He should then tell him about his great love for his sister,
as young men will sacrifice even their lives for the sake of those who
may be of the same age, habits, and dispositions as themselves. After
this the man should get the girl brought by means of her brother to some
secure place, and having brought fire from the house of a Brahman,
should proceed as before.
(4.) The man should on the occasion of festivals get the daughter of the
nurse to give the girl some intoxicating substance, and then cause her
to be brought to some secure place under the pretence of some business,
and there having enjoyed her before she recovers from her intoxication,
should bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before.
(5.) The man should, with the connivance of the daughter of the nurse,
carry off the girl from her house while she is asleep, and then, having
enjoyed her before she recovers from her sleep, should bring fire from
the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before.
(6.) When the girl goes to a garden, or to some village in the
neighbourhood, the man should, with his friends, fall on her guards, and
having killed them, or frightened them away, forcibly carry her off, and
proceed as before.
There are verses on the subject as follows:--In all the forms of
marriage given in this chapter of this work, the one that precedes is
better than the one that follows it, on account of its being more in
accordance with the commands of religion, and therefore it is only when
it is impossible to carry the former into practice that the latter
should be resorted to. As the fruit of all good marriages is love, the
Gandharva[52] form of marriage is respected, even though it is formed
under unfavourable circumstances, because it fulfils the object sought
for. Another cause of the respect accorded to the Gandharva form of
marriage is, that it brings forth happiness, causes less trouble in its
performance than any other forms of marriage, and is above all the
result of previous love.
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 50: These forms of marriage differ from the four kinds of
marriage mentioned in Chapter I., and are only to be made use of when
the girl is gained over in the way mentioned in Chapters III. and IV.]
[Footnote 51: About this, see a story on the fatal effects of love at
page 114 of "Early Ideas; a Group of Hindoo Stories," collected and
collated by Anaryan. W. H. Allen and Co., London, 1881.]
[Footnote 52: About the Gandharvavivaha form of marriage, see note to
page 28 of Captain R. F. Burton's "Vickram and the Vampire; or Tales of
Hindu Devilry." Longman, Green & Co., London, 1870. This form of
matrimony was recognised by the ancient Hindus, and is frequent in
books. It is a kind of Scotch Wedding--ultra-Caledonian--taking place by
mutual consent without any form or ceremony. The Gandharvas are heavenly
minstrels of Indra's court, who are supposed to be witnesses.]
=END OF PART III.=