CHAPTER II.

ABOUT MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE WOMAN, AND OF THE EFFORTS TO GAIN HER

OVER.

Ancient authors are of opinion that girls are not so easily seduced by

employing female messengers as by the efforts of the man himself, but

that the wives of others are more easily got at by the aid of female

messengers than by the personal efforts of a man. But Vatsyayana lays it

down that whenever it is possible a man should always act himself in

these matters, and it is only when such is impracticable, or impossible,

that female messengers should be employed. As for the saying that women

who act and talk boldly and freely are to be won by the personal efforts

of the man, and that women who do not possess those qualities are to be

got at by female messengers, it is only a matter of talk.

Now when a man acts himself in the matter he should first of all make

the acquaintance of the woman he loves in the following manner.

1st. He should arrange to be seen by the woman either on a natural or

special opportunity. A natural opportunity is when one of them goes to

the house of the other, and a special opportunity is when they meet

either at the house of a friend, or a caste-fellow, or a minister, or a

physician, as also on the occasion of marriage ceremonies, sacrifices,

festivals, funerals, and garden parties.

2nd. When they do meet, the man should be careful to look at her in such

a way as to cause the state of his mind to be made known to her; he

should pull about his moustache, make a sound with his nails, cause his

own ornaments to tinkle, bite his lower lip, and make various other

signs of that description. When she is looking at him he should speak

to his friends about her and other women, and should show to her his

liberality and his appreciation of enjoyments. When sitting by the side

of a female friend he should yawn and twist his body, contract his

eyebrows, speak very slowly as if he were weary, and listen to her

indifferently. A conversation having two meanings should also be carried

on with a child or some other person, apparently having regard to a

third person, but really having reference to the woman he loves, and in

this way his love should be made manifest under the pretext of referring

to others rather than to herself. He should make marks that have

reference to her, on the earth with his nails, or with a stick, and

should embrace and kiss a child in her presence, and give it the mixture

of betel nut and betel leaves with his tongue, and press its chin with

his fingers in a caressing way. All these things should be done at the

proper time and in proper places.

3rd. The man should fondle a child that may be sitting on her lap, and

give it something to play with, and also take the same back again.

Conversation with respect to the child may also be held with her, and in

this manner he should gradually become well acquainted with her, and he

should also make himself agreeable to her relations. Afterwards, this

acquaintance should be made a pretext for visiting her house frequently,

and on such occasions he should converse on the subject of love in her

absence, but within her hearing. As his intimacy with her increases he

should place in her charge some kind of deposit or trust, and take away

from it a small portion at a time; or he may give her some fragrant

substances, or betel nuts to be kept for him by her. After this he

should endeavour to make her well acquainted with his own wife, and get

them to carry on confidential conversations, and to sit together in

lonely places. In order to see her frequently he should arrange that the

same goldsmith, the same jeweller, the same basket maker, the same dyer,

and the same washerman should be employed by the two families. And he

should also pay her long visits openly under the pretence of being

engaged with her on business, and one business should lead to another,

so as to keep up the intercourse between them. Whenever she wants

anything, or is in need of money, or wishes to acquire skill in one of

the arts, he should cause her to understand that he is willing and able

to do anything that she wants, to give her money, or teach her one of

the arts, all these things being quite within his ability and power. In

the same way he should hold discussions with her in company with other

people, and they should talk of the doings and sayings of other persons,

and examine different things, like jewellery, precious stones, etc. On

such occasions he should show her certain things with the values of

which she may be unacquainted, and if she begins to dispute with him

about the things or their value, he should not contradict her, but point

out that he agrees with her in every way.

Thus ends the ways of making the acquaintance of the woman desired.

Now after a girl has become acquainted with the man as above described,

and has manifested her love to him by the various outward signs; and by

the motions of her body, the man should make every effort to gain her

over. But as girls are not acquainted with sexual union, they should be

treated with the greatest delicacy, and the man should proceed with

considerable caution, though in the case of other women, accustomed to

sexual intercourse, this is not necessary. When the intentions of the

girl are known, and her bashfulness put aside, the man should begin to

make use of her money, and an interchange of clothes, rings, and flowers

should be made. In this the man should take particular care that the

things given by him are handsome and valuable. He should moreover

receive from her a mixture of betel nut and betel leaves, and when he is

going to a party he should ask for the flower in her hair, or for the

flower in her hand. If he himself gives her a flower it should be a

sweet smelling one, and marked with marks made by his nails or teeth.

With increasing assiduity he should dispel her fears, and by degrees get

her to go with him to some lonely place, and there he should embrace and

kiss her. And finally at the time of giving her some betel nut, or of

receiving the same from her, or at the time of making an exchange of

flowers, he should touch and press her private parts, thus bringing his

efforts to a satisfactory conclusion.

When a man is endeavouring to seduce one woman, he should not attempt to

seduce any other at the same time. But after he had succeeded with the

first, and enjoyed her for a considerable time, he can keep her

affections by giving her presents that she likes, and then commence

making up to another woman. When a man sees the husband of a woman going

to some place near his house, he should not enjoy the woman then, even

though she may be easily gained over at that time. A wise man having a

regard for his reputation should not think of seducing a woman who is

apprehensive, timid, not to be trusted, well guarded, or possessed of a

father-in-law, or mother-in-law.