CHAPTER XXXVII

Horncastle Fair.

It had been my intention to be up and doing early on the following

morning, but my slumbers proved so profound, that I did not wake until

about eight; on arising, I again found myself the sole occupant of the

apartment, my more alert companion having probably risen at a much

earlier hour. Having dressed myself, I descended, and going to the

stable, found my horse under the hands of my friend the ostler, who was

carefully rubbing him down. "There a'n't a better horse in the fair,"

said he to me, "and as you are one of us, and appear to be all right,

I'll give you a piece of advice--don't take less than a hundred and fifty

for him; if you mind your hits, you may get it, for I have known two

hundred given in this fair for one no better, if so good." "Well," said

I, "thank you for your advice, which I will take, and, if successful,

will give you 'summut' handsome." "Thank you," said the ostler; "and now

let me ask whether you are up to all the ways of this here place?" "I

have never been here before," said I, "but I have a pair of tolerably

sharp eyes in my head." "That I see you have," said the ostler, "but

many a body, with as sharp a pair of eyes as yourn, has lost his horse in

this fair, for want of having been here before, therefore," said he,

"I'll give you a caution or two." Thereupon the ostler proceeded to give

me at least half a dozen cautions, only two of which I shall relate to

the reader:--the first, not to stop to listen to what any chance customer

might have to say; and the last--the one on which he appeared to lay most

stress--by no manner of means to permit a Yorkshireman to get up into the

saddle, "for," said he, "if you do, it is three to one that he rides off

with the horse; he can't help it; trust a cat amongst cream, but never

trust a Yorkshireman on the saddle of a good horse; by-the-by," he

continued, "that saddle of yours is not a particularly good one, no more

is the bridle. I tell you what, as you seem a decent kind of a young

chap, I'll lend you a saddle and bridle of my master's, almost bran new;

he won't object, I know, as you are a friend of his, only you must not

forget your promise to come down with summut handsome after you have sold

the animal."

After a slight breakfast I mounted the horse, which, decked out in his

borrowed finery, really looked better by a large sum of money than on any

former occasion. Making my way out of the yard of the inn, I was

instantly in the principal street of the town, up and down which an

immense number of horses were being exhibited, some led, and others with

riders. "A wonderful small quantity of good horses in the fair this

time!" I heard a stout jockey-looking individual say, who was staring up

the street with his side towards me. "Halloo, young fellow!" said he, a

few moments after I had passed, "whose horse is that? Stop! I want to

look at him!" Though confident that he was addressing himself to me, I

took no notice, remembering the advice of the ostler, and proceeded up

the street. My horse possessed a good walking step; but walking, as the

reader knows, was not his best pace, which was the long trot, at which I

could not well exercise him in the street, on account of the crowd of men

and animals; however, as he walked along, I could easily perceive that he

attracted no slight attention amongst those who, by their jockey dress

and general appearance, I imagined to be connoisseurs; I heard various

calls to stop, to none of which I paid the slightest attention. In a few

minutes I found myself out of the town, when, turning round for the

purpose of returning, I found I had been followed by several of the

connoisseur-looking individuals, whom I had observed in the fair. "Now

would be the time for a display," thought I; and looking around me I

observed two five-barred gates, one on each side of the road, and

fronting each other. Turning my horse's head to one, I pressed my heels

to his sides, loosened the reins, and gave an encouraging cry, whereupon

the animal cleared the gate in a twinkling. Before he had advanced ten

yards in the field to which the gate opened, I had turned him round, and

again giving him cry and rein, I caused him to leap back again into the

road, and still allowing him head, I made him leap the other gate; and

forthwith turning him round, I caused him to leap once more into the

road, where he stood proudly tossing his head, as much as to say, "What

more?" "A fine horse! a capital horse!" said several of the

connoisseurs. "What do you ask for him?" "Too much for any of you to

pay," said I. "A horse like this is intended for other kind of customers

than any of you." "How do you know that?" said one; the very same person

whom I had heard complaining in the street of the paucity of good horses

in the fair. "Come, let us know what you ask for him?" "A hundred and

fifty pounds!" said I; "neither more nor less." "Do you call that a

great price?" said the man. "Why, I thought you would have asked double

that amount! You do yourself injustice, young man." "Perhaps I do,"

said I, "but that's my affair; I do not choose to take more." "I wish

you would let me get into the saddle," said the man; "the horse knows

you, and therefore shows to more advantage; but I should like to see how

he would move under me, who am a stranger. Will you let me get into the

saddle, young man?" "No," said I; "I will not let you get into the

saddle." "Why not?" said the man. "Lest you should be a Yorkshireman,"

said I; "and should run away with the horse." "Yorkshire?" said the man;

"I am from Suffolk; silly Suffolk--so you need not be afraid of my

running away with the horse." "Oh! if that's the case," said I, "I

should be afraid that the horse would run away with you; so I will by no

means let you mount." "Will you let me look in his mouth?" said the man.

"If you please," said I; "but I tell you, he's apt to bite." "He can

scarcely be a worse bite than his master," said the man, looking into the

horse's mouth; "he's four off. I say, young man, will you warrant this

horse?" "No," said I; "I never warrant horses; the horses that I ride

can always warrant themselves." "I wish you would let me speak a word to

you," said he. "Just come aside. It's a nice horse," said he, in a half

whisper, after I had ridden a few paces aside with him. "It's a nice

horse," said he, placing his hand upon the pommel of the saddle, and

looking up in my face, "and I think I can find you a customer. If you

would take a hundred, I think my lord would purchase it, for he has sent

me about the fair to look him up a horse, by which he could hope to make

an honest penny." "Well," said I, "and could he not make an honest

penny, and yet give me the price I ask?" "Why," said the go-between, "a

hundred and fifty pounds is as much as the animal is worth, or nearly so;

and my lord, do you see--" "I see no reason at all," said I, "why I

should sell the animal for less than he is worth, in order that his

lordship may be benefited by him; so that if his lordship wants to make

an honest penny, he must find some person who would consider the

disadvantage of selling him a horse for less than it is worth, as

counterbalanced by the honour of dealing with a lord, which I should

never do; but I can't be wasting my time here. I am going back to the ---

, where, if you, or any person, are desirous of purchasing the horse, you

must come within the next half hour, or I shall probably not feel

disposed to sell him at all." "Another word, young man," said the

jockey; but without staying to hear what he had to say, I put the horse

to his best trot, and re-entering the town, and threading my way as well

as I could through the press, I returned to the yard of the inn, where,

dismounting, I stood still, holding the horse by the bridle.

I had been standing in this manner about five minutes, when I saw the

jockey enter the yard, accompanied by another individual. They advanced

directly towards me. "Here is my lord come to look at the horse, young

man," said the jockey. My lord, as the jockey called him, was a tall

figure, of about five-and-thirty. He had on his head a hat somewhat

rusty, and on his back a surtout of blue rather the worse for wear. His

forehead, if not high, was exceedingly narrow; his eyes were brown, with

a rat-like glare in them; the nose was rather long, and the mouth very

wide; the cheek-bones high, and the cheeks, as to hue and consistency,

exhibiting very much the appearance of a withered red apple; there was a

gaunt expression of hunger in the whole countenance. He had scarcely

glanced at the horse, when drawing in his cheeks, he thrust out his lips

very much after the manner of a baboon, when he sees a piece of sugar

held out towards him. "Is this horse yours?" said he, suddenly turning

towards me, with a kind of smirk. "It's my horse," said I; "are you the

person who wishes to make an honest penny by it?" "How!" said he,

drawing up his head with a very consequential look, and speaking with a

very haughty tone, "what do you mean?" We looked at each other full in

the face; after a few moments, the muscles of the mouth of him of the

hungry look began to move violently, the face was puckered into

innumerable wrinkles, and the eyes became half closed. "Well," said I,

"have you ever seen me before? I suppose you are asking yourself that

question." "Excuse me, sir," said he, dropping his lofty look, and

speaking in a very subdued and civil tone, "I have never had the honour

of seeing you before, that is"--said he, slightly glancing at me again,

and again moving the muscles of his mouth, "no, I have never seen you

before," he added, making me a bow. "I have never had that pleasure; my

business with you, at present, is to inquire the lowest price you are

willing to take for this horse. My agent here informs me that you ask

one hundred and fifty pounds, which I cannot think of giving--the horse

is a showy horse, but look, my dear sir, he has a defect here, and there

in his near fore leg I observe something which looks very like a

splint--yes, upon my credit," said he, touching the animal, "he has a

splint, or something which will end in one. A hundred and fifty pounds,

sir! what could have induced you ever to ask anything like that for this

animal? I protest that, in my time, I have frequently bought a better

for-- Who are you, sir? I am in treaty for this horse," said he to a man

who had come up whilst he was talking, and was now looking into the

horse's mouth. "Who am I?" said the man, still looking into the horse's

mouth; "who am I? his lordship asks me. Ah, I see, close on five," said

he, releasing the horse's jaws, and looking at me. This new comer was a

thin, wiry-made individual, with wiry curling brown hair; his face was

dark, and wore an arch and somewhat roguish expression; upon one of his

eyes was a kind of speck or beam; he might be about forty, wore a green

jockey coat, and held in his hand a black riding whip, with a knob of

silver wire. As I gazed upon his countenance, it brought powerfully to

my mind the face which, by the light of the candle, I had seen staring

over me on the preceding night, when lying in bed and half asleep. Close

beside him, and seemingly in his company, stood an exceedingly tall

figure, that of a youth, seemingly about one-and-twenty, dressed in a

handsome riding dress, and wearing on his head a singular hat, green in

colour, and with a very high peak. "What do you ask for this horse?"

said he of the green coat, winking at me with the eye which had a beam in

it, whilst the other shone and sparkled like Mrs. Colonel W-'s Golconda

diamond. "Who are you, sir, I demand once more?" said he of the hungry

look. "Who am I? why, who should I be but Jack Dale, who buys horses for

himself and other folk; I want one at present for this short young

gentleman," said he, motioning with his finger to the gigantic youth.

"Well, sir," said the other, "and what business have you to interfere

between me and any purchase I may be disposed to make?" "Well, then,"

said the other, "be quick and purchase the horse, or, perhaps, I may."

"Do you think I am to be dictated to by a fellow of your description?"

said his lordship, "begone, or--" "What do you ask for this horse?" said

the other to me, very coolly. "A hundred and fifty," said I. "I

shouldn't mind giving it to you," said he. "You will do no such thing,"

said his lordship, speaking so fast that he almost stuttered. "Sir,"

said he to me, "I must give you what you ask; Symmonds, take possession

of the animal for me," said he to the other jockey who attended him. "You

will please to do no such thing without my consent," said I, "I have not

sold him." "I have this moment told you that I will give you the price

you demand," said his lordship; "is not that sufficient?" "No," said I,

"there is a proper manner of doing everything--had you come forward in a

manly and gentlemanly manner to purchase the horse, I should have been

happy to sell him to you, but after all the fault you have found with

him, I would not sell him to you at any price, so send your friend to

find up another." "You behave in this manner, I suppose," said his

lordship, "because this fellow has expressed a willingness to come to

your terms. I would advise you to be cautious how you trust the animal

in his hands; I think I have seen him before, and could tell you--" "What

can you tell of me?" said the other, going up to him; "except that I have

been a poor dicky-boy, and that now I am a dealer in horses, and that my

father was lagged; that's all you could tell of me, and that I don't mind

telling myself: but there are two things they can't say of me, they can't

say that I am either a coward or a screw either, except so far as one who

gets his bread by horses may be expected to be; and they can't say of me

that I ever ate up an ice which a young woman was waiting for, or that I

ever backed out of a fight. Horse!" said he, motioning with his finger

tauntingly to the other; "what do you want with a horse, except to take

the bread out of the mouth of a poor man--to-morrow is not the battle of

Waterloo, so that you don't want to back out of danger, by pretending to

have hurt yourself by falling from the creature's back, my lord of the

white feather--come, none of your fierce looks--I am not afraid of you."

In fact, the other had assumed an expression of the deadliest malice, his

teeth were clenched, his lips quivered, and were quite pale; the rat-like

eyes sparkled, and he made a half spring, a la rat, towards his

adversary, who only laughed. Restraining himself, however, he suddenly

turned to his understrapper, saying, "Symmonds, will you see me thus

insulted? go and trounce this scoundrel; you can, I know." "Symmonds

trounce me!" said the other, going up to the person addressed, and

drawing his hand contemptuously over his face; "why, I beat Symmonds in

this very yard in one round three years ago; didn't I, Symmonds?" said he

to the understrapper, who held down his head, muttering, in a surly tone,

"I didn't come here to fight; let every one take his own part." "That's

right, Symmonds," said the other, "especially every one from whom there

is nothing to be got. I would give you half-a-crown for all the trouble

you have had, provided I were not afraid that my Lord Plume there would

get it from you as soon as you leave the yard together. Come, take

yourselves both off; there's nothing to be made here." Indeed, his

lordship seemed to be of the same opinion, for after a further glance at

the horse, a contemptuous look at me, and a scowl at the jockey, he

turned on his heel, muttering something which sounded like fellows, and

stalked out of the yard, followed by Symmonds.

"And now, young man," said the jockey, or whatever he was, turning to me

with an arch leer, "I suppose I may consider myself as the purchaser of

this here animal, for the use and behoof of this young gentleman?" making

a sign with his head to the tall young man by his side. "By no means,"

said I, "I am utterly unacquainted with either of you, and before parting

with the horse I must be satisfied as to the respectability of the

purchaser." "Oh! as to that matter," said he, "I have plenty of vouchers

for my respectability about me;" and thrusting his hand into his bosom

below his waistcoat, he drew out a large bundle of notes. "These are the

kind of things," said he, "which vouch best for a man's respectability."

"Not always," said I; "indeed, sometimes these kind of things need

vouchers for themselves." The man looked at me with a peculiar look. "Do

you mean to say that these notes are not sufficient notes?" said he,

"because if you do I shall take the liberty of thinking you are not over

civil, and when I thinks a person is not over and above civil I sometimes

takes off my coat; and when my coat is off--" "You sometimes knock

people down," I added; "well, whether you knock me down or not, I beg

leave to tell you that I am a stranger in this fair, and that I shall

part with the horse to nobody who has no better guarantee for his

respectability than a roll of bank-notes, which may be good or not for

what I know, who am not a judge of such things." "Oh! if you are a

stranger here," said the man, "as I believe you are, never having seen

you here before except last night, when I think I saw you above stairs by

the glimmer of a candle--I say, if you are a stranger, you are quite

right to be cautious; queer things being done in this fair, as nobody

knows better than myself," he added with a leer; "but I suppose if the

landlord of the house vouches for me and my notes, you will have no

objection to part with the horse to me?" "None whatever," said I, "and

in the meantime the horse can return to the stable."

Thereupon I delivered the horse to my friend the ostler.

The landlord of the house on being questioned by me as to the character

and condition of my new acquaintance, informed me that he was a

respectable horsedealer, and an intimate friend of his, whereupon the

purchase was soon brought to a satisfactory conclusion.