CHAPTER 12

I had for some time past, dwelt upon the prospect of our being

reduced to this last horrible extremity, and had secretly made up

my mind to suffer death in any shape or under any circumstances

rather than resort to such a course. Nor was this resolution in

any degree weakened by the present intensity of hunger under

which I laboured. The proposition had not been heard by either

Peters or Augustus. I therefore took Parker aside; and mentally

praying to God for power to dissuade him from the horrible

purpose he entertained, I expostulated with him for a long time,

and in the most supplicating manner, begging him in the name of

every thing which he held sacred, and urging him by every species

of argument which the extremity of the case suggested, to abandon

the idea, and not to mention it to either of the other two.

He heard all I said without attempting to controvert any of my

arguments, and I had begun to hope that he would be prevailed

upon to do as I desired. But when I had ceased speaking, he said

that he knew very well all I had said was true, and that to

resort to such a course was the most horrible alternative which

could enter into the mind of man; but that he had now held out as

long as human nature could be sustained; that it was unnecessary

for all to perish, when, by the death of one, it was possible,

and even probable, that the rest might be finally preserved;

adding that I might save myself the trouble of trying to turn him

from his purpose, his mind having been thoroughly made up on the

subject even before the appearance of the ship, and that only her

heaving in sight had prevented him from mentioning his intention

at an earlier period.

I now begged him, if he would not be prevailed upon to abandon

his design, at least to defer it for another day, when some

vessel might come to our relief; again reiterating every argument

I could devise, and which I thought likely to have influence with

one of his rough nature. He said, in reply, that he had not

spoken until the very last possible moment, that he could exist

no longer without sustenance of some kind, and that therefore in

another day his suggestion would be too late, as regarded himself

at least.

Finding that he was not to be moved by anything I could say in a

mild tone, I now assumed a different demeanor, and told him that

he must be aware I had suffered less than any of us from our

calamities; that my health and strength, consequently, were at

that moment far better than his own, or than that either of

Peters or Augustus; in short, that I was in a condition to have

my own way by force if I found it necessary; and that if he

attempted in any manner to acquaint the others with his bloody

and cannibal designs, I would not hesitate to throw him into the

sea. Upon this he immediately seized me by the throat, and

drawing a knife, made several ineffectual efforts to stab me in

the stomach; an atrocity which his excessive debility alone

prevented him from accomplishing. In the meantime, being roused

to a high pitch of anger, I forced him to the vessel’s side, with

the full intention of throwing him overboard. He was saved from

his fate, however, by the interference of Peters, who now

approached and separated us, asking the cause of the disturbance.

This Parker told before I could find means in any manner to

prevent him.

The effect of his words was even more terrible than what I had

anticipated. Both Augustus and Peters, who, it seems, had long

secretly entertained the same fearful idea which Parker had been

merely the first to broach, joined with him in his design and

insisted upon its immediately being carried into effect. I had

calculated that one at least of the two former would be found

still possessed of sufficient strength of mind to side with

myself in resisting any attempt to execute so dreadful a purpose,

and, with the aid of either one of them, I had no fear of being

able to prevent its accomplishment. Being disappointed in this

expectation, it became absolutely necessary that I should attend

to my own safety, as a further resistance on my part might

possibly be considered by men in their frightful condition a

sufficient excuse for refusing me fair play in the tragedy that I

knew would speedily be enacted.

I now told them I was willing to submit to the proposal, merely

requesting a delay of about one hour, in order that the fog which

had gathered around us might have an opportunity of lifting, when

it was possible that the ship we had seen might be again in

sight. After great difficulty I obtained from them a promise to

wait thus long; and, as I had anticipated (a breeze rapidly

coming in), the fog lifted before the hour had expired, when, no

vessel appearing in sight, we prepared to draw lots.

It is with extreme reluctance that I dwell upon the appalling

scene which ensued; a scene which, with its minutest details, no

after events have been able to efface in the slightest degree

from my memory, and whose stern recollection will embitter every

future moment of my existence. Let me run over this portion of my

narrative with as much haste as the nature of the events to be

spoken of will permit. The only method we could devise for the

terrific lottery, in which we were to take each a chance, was

that of drawing straws. Small splinters of wood were made to

answer our purpose, and it was agreed that I should be the

holder. I retired to one end of the hulk, while my poor

companions silently took up their station in the other with their

backs turned toward me. The bitterest anxiety which I endured at

any period of this fearful drama was while I occupied myself in

the arrangement of the lots. There are few conditions into which

man can possibly fall where he will not feel a deep interest in

the preservation of his existence; an interest momentarily

increasing with the frailness of the tenure by which that

existence may be held. But now that the silent, definite, and

stern nature of the business in which I was engaged (so different

from the tumultuous dangers of the storm or the gradually

approaching horrors of famine) allowed me to reflect on the few

chances I had of escaping the most appalling of deaths—a death

for the most appalling of purposes—every particle of that energy

which had so long buoyed me up departed like feathers before the

wind, leaving me a helpless prey to the most abject and pitiable

terror. I could not, at first, even summon up sufficient strength

to tear and fit together the small splinters of wood, my fingers

absolutely refusing their office, and my knees knocking violently

against each other. My mind ran over rapidly a thousand absurd

projects by which to avoid becoming a partner in the awful

speculation. I thought of falling on my knees to my companions,

and entreating them to let me escape this necessity; of suddenly

rushing upon them, and, by putting one of them to death, of

rendering the decision by lot useless—in short, of every thing

but of going through with the matter I had in hand. At last,

after wasting a long time in this imbecile conduct, I was

recalled to my senses by the voice of Parker, who urged me to

relieve them at once from the terrible anxiety they were

enduring. Even then I could not bring myself to arrange the

splinters upon the spot, but thought over every species of

finesse by which I could trick some one of my fellow-sufferers to

draw the short straw, as it had been agreed that whoever drew the

shortest of four splinters from my hand was to die for the

preservation of the rest. Before any one condemn me for this

apparent heartlessness, let him be placed in a situation

precisely similar to my own.

At length delay was no longer possible, and, with a heart almost

bursting from my bosom, I advanced to the region of the

forecastle, where my companions were awaiting me. I held out my

hand with the splinters, and Peters immediately drew. He was

free—his, at least, was not the shortest; and there was now

another chance against my escape. I summoned up all my strength,

and passed the lots to Augustus. He also drew immediately, and he

also was free; and now, whether I should live or die, the chances

were no more than precisely even. At this moment all the

fierceness of the tiger possessed my bosom, and I felt toward my

poor fellow-creature, Parker, the most intense, the most

diabolical hatred. But the feeling did not last; and, at length,

with a convulsive shudder and closed eyes, I held out the two

remaining splinters toward him. It was fully five minutes before

he could summon resolution to draw, during which period of

heartrending suspense I never once opened my eyes. Presently one

of the two lots was quickly drawn from my hand. The decision was

then over, yet I knew not whether it was for me or against me. No

one spoke, and still I dared not satisfy myself by looking at the

splinter I held. Peters at length took me by the hand, and I

forced myself to look up, when I immediately saw by the

countenance of Parker that I was safe, and that he it was who had

been doomed to suffer. Gasping for breath, I fell senseless to

the deck.

I recovered from my swoon in time to behold the consummation of

the tragedy in the death of him who had been chiefly instrumental

in bringing it about. He made no resistance whatever, and was

stabbed in the back by Peters, when he fell instantly dead. I

must not dwell upon the fearful repast which immediately ensued.

Such things may be imagined, but words have no power to impress

the mind with the exquisite horror of their reality. Let it

suffice to say that, having in some measure appeased the raging

thirst which consumed us by the blood of the victim, and having

by common consent taken off the hands, feet, and head, throwing

them together with the entrails, into the sea, we devoured the

rest of the body, piecemeal, during the four ever memorable days

of the seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, and twentieth of the

month.

On the nineteenth, there coming on a smart shower which lasted

fifteen or twenty minutes, we contrived to catch some water by

means of a sheet which had been fished up from the cabin by our

drag just after the gale. The quantity we took in all did not

amount to more than half a gallon; but even this scanty allowance

supplied us with comparative strength and hope.

On the twenty-first we were again reduced to the last necessity.

The weather still remained warm and pleasant, with occasional

fogs and light breezes, most usually from N. to W.

On the twenty-second, as we were sitting close huddled together,

gloomily revolving over our lamentable condition, there flashed

through my mind all at once an idea which inspired me with a

bright gleam of hope. I remembered that, when the foremast had

been cut away, Peters, being in the windward chains, passed one

of the axes into my hand, requesting me to put it, if possible,

in a place of security, and that a few minutes before the last

heavy sea struck the brig and filled her I had taken this axe

into the forecastle and laid it in one of the larboard berths. I

now thought it possible that, by getting at this axe, we might

cut through the deck over the storeroom, and thus readily supply

ourselves with provisions.

When I communicated this object to my companions, they uttered a

feeble shout of joy, and we all proceeded forthwith to the

forecastle. The difficulty of descending here was greater than

that of going down in the cabin, the opening being much smaller,

for it will be remembered that the whole framework about the

cabin companion-hatch had been carried away, whereas the

forecastle-way, being a simple hatch of only about three feet

square, had remained uninjured. I did not hesitate, however, to

attempt the descent; and a rope being fastened round my body as

before, I plunged boldly in, feet foremost, made my way quickly

to the berth, and at the first attempt brought up the axe. It was

hailed with the most ecstatic joy and triumph, and the ease with

which it had been obtained was regarded as an omen of our

ultimate preservation.

We now commenced cutting at the deck with all the energy of

rekindled hope, Peters and myself taking the axe by turns,

Augustus’s wounded arm not permitting him to aid us in any

degree. As we were still so feeble as to be scarcely able to

stand unsupported, and could consequently work but a minute or

two without resting, it soon became evident that many long hours

would be necessary to accomplish our task—that is, to cut an

opening sufficiently large to admit of a free access to the

storeroom. This consideration, however, did not discourage us;

and, working all night by the light of the moon, we succeeded in

effecting our purpose by daybreak on the morning of the

twenty-third.

Peters now volunteered to go down; and, having made all

arrangements as before, he descended, and soon returned bringing

up with him a small jar, which, to our great joy, proved to be

full of olives. Having shared these among us, and devoured them

with the greatest avidity, we proceeded to let him down again.

This time he succeeded beyond our utmost expectations, returning

instantly with a large ham and a bottle of Madeira wine. Of the

latter we each took a moderate sup, having learned by experience

the pernicious consequences of indulging too freely. The ham,

except about two pounds near the bone, was not in a condition to

be eaten, having been entirely spoiled by the salt water. The

sound part was divided among us. Peters and Augustus, not being

able to restrain their appetite, swallowed theirs upon the

instant; but I was more cautious, and ate but a small portion of

mine, dreading the thirst which I knew would ensue. We now rested

a while from our labors, which had been intolerably severe.

By noon, feeling somewhat strengthened and refreshed, we again

renewed our attempt at getting up provisions, Peters and myself

going down alternately, and always with more or less success,

until sundown. During this interval we had the good fortune to

bring up, altogether, four more small jars of olives, another

ham, a carboy containing nearly three gallons of excellent Cape

Madeira wine, and, what gave us still more delight, a small

tortoise of the Gallipago breed, several of which had been taken

on board by Captain Barnard, as the _Grampus_ was leaving port,

from the schooner _Mary Pitts_, just returned from a sealing

voyage in the Pacific.

In a subsequent portion of this narrative I shall have frequent

occasion to mention this species of tortoise. It is found

principally, as most of my readers may know, in the group of

islands called the Gallipagos, which, indeed, derive their name

from the animal—the Spanish word Gallipago meaning a fresh-water

terrapin. From the peculiarity of their shape and action they

have been sometimes called the elephant tortoise. They are

frequently found of an enormous size. I have myself seen several

which would weigh from twelve to fifteen hundred pounds, although

I do not remember that any navigator speaks of having seen them

weighing more than eight hundred. Their appearance is singular,

and even disgusting. Their steps are very slow, measured, and

heavy, their bodies being carried about a foot from the ground.

Their neck is long, and exceedingly slender, from eighteen inches

to two feet is a very common length, and I killed one, where the

distance from the shoulder to the extremity of the head was no

less than three feet ten inches. The head has a striking

resemblance to that of a serpent. They can exist without food for

an almost incredible length of time, instances having been known

where they have been thrown into the hold of a vessel and lain

two years without nourishment of any kind—being as fat, and, in

every respect, in as good order at the expiration of the time as

when they were first put in. In one particular these

extraordinary animals bear a resemblance to the dromedary, or

camel of the desert. In a bag at the root of the neck they carry

with them a constant supply of water. In some instances, upon

killing them after a full year’s deprivation of all nourishment,

as much as three gallons of perfectly sweet and fresh water have

been found in their bags. Their food is chiefly wild parsley and

celery, with purslain, sea-kelp, and prickly pears, upon which

latter vegetable they thrive wonderfully, a great quantity of it

being usually found on the hillsides near the shore wherever the

animal itself is discovered. They are excellent and highly

nutritious food, and have, no doubt, been the means of preserving

the lives of thousands of seamen employed in the whale-fishery

and other pursuits in the Pacific.

The one which we had the good fortune to bring up from the

storeroom was not of a large size, weighing probably sixty-five

or seventy pounds. It was a female, and in excellent condition,

being exceedingly fat, and having more than a quart of limpid and

sweet water in its bag. This was indeed a treasure; and, falling

on our knees with one accord, we returned fervent thanks to God

for so seasonable a relief.

We had great difficulty in getting the animal up through the

opening, as its struggles were fierce and its strength

prodigious. It was upon the point of making its escape from

Peter’s grasp, and slipping back into the water, when Augustus,

throwing a rope with a slipknot around its throat, held it up in

this manner until I jumped into the hole by the side of Peters,

and assisted him in lifting it out.

The water we drew carefully from the bag into the jug; which, it

will be remembered, had been brought up before from the cabin.

Having done this, we broke off the neck of a bottle so as to

form, with the cork, a kind of glass, holding not quite half a

gill. We then each drank one of these measures full, and resolved

to limit ourselves to this quantity per day as long as it should

hold out.

During the last two or three days, the weather having been dry

and pleasant, the bedding we had obtained from the cabin, as well

as our clothing, had become thoroughly dry, so that we passed

this night (that of the twenty-third) in comparative comfort,

enjoying a tranquil repose, after having supped plentifully on

olives and ham, with a small allowance of the wine. Being afraid

of losing some of our stores overboard during the night, in the

event of a breeze springing up, we secured them as well as

possible with cordage to the fragments of the windlass. Our

tortoise, which we were anxious to preserve alive as long as we

could, we threw on its back, and otherwise carefully fastened.