CHAPTER XVII

IN WHICH EVAN WRITES HIMSELF TAILOR

The only philosophic method of discovering what a young woman means, and

what is in her mind, is that zigzag process of inquiry conducted by

following her actions, for she can tell you nothing, and if she does not

want to know a particular matter, it must be a strong beam from the

central system of facts that shall penetrate her. Clearly there was a

disturbance in the bosom of Rose Jocelyn, and one might fancy that

amiable mirror as being wilfully ruffled to confuse a thing it was asked

by the heavens to reflect: a good fight fought by all young people at a

certain period, and now and then by an old fool or two. The young it

seasons and strengthens; the old it happily kills off; and thus, what is,

is made to work harmoniously with what we would have be.

After quitting Evan, Rose hied to her friend Jenny Graine, and in the

midst of sweet millinery talk, darted the odd question, whether baronets

or knights ever were tradesmen: to which Scottish Jenny, entirely putting

aside the shades of beatified aldermen and the illustrious list of mayors

that have welcomed royalty, replied that it was a thing quite impossible.

Rose then wished to know if tailors were thought worse of than other

tradesmen. Jenny, premising that she was no authority, stated she

imagined she had heard that they were.

'Why?' said Rose, no doubt because she was desirous of seeing justice

dealt to that class. But Jenny's bosom was a smooth reflector of facts

alone.

Rose pondered, and said with compressed eagerness, 'Jenny, do you think

you could ever bring yourself to consent to care at all for anybody ever

talked of as belonging to them? Tell me.'

Now Jenny had come to Beckley Court to meet William Harvey: she was

therefore sufficiently soft to think she could care for him whatever his

origin were, and composed in the knowledge that no natal stigma was upon

him to try the strength of her affection. Designing to generalize, as

women do (and seem tempted to do most when they are secretly speaking

from their own emotions), she said, shyly moving her shoulders, with a

forefinger laying down the principle:

'You know, my dear, if one esteemed such a person very very much, and

were quite sure, without any doubt, that he liked you in return--that is,

completely liked you, and was quite devoted, and made no concealment--I

mean, if he was very superior, and like other men--you know what I

mean--and had none of the cringing ways some of them have--I mean;

supposing him gay and handsome, taking--'

'Just like William,' Rose cut her short; and we may guess her to have had

some one in her head for her to conceive that Jenny must be speaking of

any one in particular.

A young lady who can have male friends, as well as friends of her own

sex, is not usually pressing and secret in her confidences, possibly

because such a young lady is not always nursing baby-passions, and does

not require her sex's coddling and posseting to keep them alive. With

Rose love will be full grown when it is once avowed, and will know where

to go to be nourished.

'Merely an idea I had,' she said to Jenny, who betrayed her mental

pre-occupation by putting the question for the questions last.

Her Uncle Melville next received a visit from the restless young woman.

To him she spoke not a word of the inferior classes, but as a special

favourite of the diplomatist's, begged a gift of him for her proximate

birthday. Pushed to explain what it was, she said, 'It's something I want

you to do for a friend of mine, Uncle Mel.'

The diplomatist instanced a few of the modest requests little maids

prefer to people they presume to have power to grant.

'No, it's nothing nonsensical,' said Rose; 'I want you to get my friend

Evan an appointment. You can if you like, you know, Uncle Mel, and it's a

shame to make him lose his time when he's young and does his work so

well--that you can't deny! Now, please, be positive, Uncle Mel. You know

I hate--I have no faith in your 'nous verrons'. Say you will, and at

once.'

The diplomatist pretended to have his weather-eye awakened.

'You seem very anxious about feathering the young fellow's nest, Rosey?'

'There,' cried Rose, with the maiden's mature experience of us, 'isn't

that just like men? They never can believe you can be entirely

disinterested!'

'Hulloa!' the diplomatist sung out, 'I didn't say anything, Rosey.'

She reddened at her hastiness, but retrieved it by saying:

'No, but you listen to your wife; you know you do, Uncle Mel; and now

there's Aunt Shorne and the other women, who make you think just what

they like about me, because they hate Mama.'

'Don't use strong words, my dear.'

'But it's abominable!' cried Rose. 'They asked Mama yesterday what Evan's

being here meant? Why, of course, he's your secretary, and my friend, and

Mama very properly stopped them, and so will I! As for me, I intend to

stay at Beckley, I can tell you, dear old boy.' Uncle Mel had a soft arm

round his neck, and was being fondled. 'And I 'm not going to be bred up

to go into a harem, you may be sure.'

The diplomatist whistled, 'You talk your mother with a vengeance, Rosey.'

'And she's the only sensible woman I know,' said Rose. 'Now promise

me--in earnest. Don't let them mislead you, for you know you're quite a

child, out of your politics, and I shall take you in hand myself. Why,

now, think, Uncle Mel! wouldn't any girl, as silly as they make me out,

hold her tongue--not talk of him, as I do; and because I really do feel

for him as a friend. See the difference between me and Juley!'

It was a sad sign if Rose was growing a bit of a hypocrite, but this

instance of Juliana's different manner of showing her feelings toward

Evan would have quieted suspicion in shrewder men, for Juliana watched

Evan's shadow, and it was thought by two or three at Beckley Court, that

Evan would be conferring a benefit on all by carrying off the

romantically-inclined but little presentable young lady.

The diplomatist, with a placid 'Well, well!' ultimately promised to do

his best for Rose's friend, and then Rose said, 'Now I leave you to the

Countess,' and went and sat with her mother and Drummond Forth. The

latter was strange in his conduct to Evan. While blaming Laxley's

unmannered behaviour, he seemed to think Laxley had grounds for it, and

treated Evan with a sort of cynical deference that had, for the last

couple of days, exasperated Rose.

'Mama, you must speak to Ferdinand,' she burst upon the conversation,

'Drummond is afraid to--he can stand by and see my friend insulted.

Ferdinand is insufferable with his pride--he's jealous of everybody who

has manners, and Drummond approves him, and I will not bear it.'

Lady Jocelyn hated household worries, and quietly remarked that the young

men must fight it out together.

'No, but it's your duty to interfere, Mama,' said Rose; 'and I know you

will when I tell you that Ferdinand declares my friend Evan is a

tradesman--beneath his notice. Why, it insults me!'

Lady Jocelyn looked out from a lofty window on such veritable squabbles

of boys and girls as Rose revealed.

'Can't you help them to run on smoothly while they're here?' she said to

Drummond, and he related the scene at the Green Dragon.

'I think I heard he was the son of Sir Something Harrington, Devonshire

people,' said Lady Jocelyn.

'Yes, he is,' cried Rose, 'or closely related. I'm sure I understood the

Countess that it was so. She brought the paper with the death in it to us

in London, and shed tears over it.'

'She showed it in the paper, and shed tears over it?' said Drummond,

repressing an inclination to laugh. 'Was her father's title given in

full?'

'Sir Abraham Harrington, replied Rose. 'I think she said father, if the

word wasn't too common-place for her.'

'You can ask old Tom when he comes, if you are anxious to know,' said

Drummond to her ladyship. 'His brother married one of the sisters. By the

way, he's coming, too. He ought to clear up the mystery.'

'Now you're sneering, Drummond,' said Rose: 'for you know there 's no

mystery to clear up.'

Drummond and Lady Jocelyn began talking of old Tom Cogglesby, whom, it

appeared, the former knew intimately, and the latter had known.

'The Cogglesbys are sons of a cobbler, Rose,' said Lady Jocelyn. 'You

must try and be civil to them.'

'Of course I shall, Mama,' Rose answered seriously.

'And help the poor Countess to bear their presence as well as possible,'

said Drummond. 'The Harringtons have had to mourn a dreadful mesalliance.

Pity the Countess!'

'Oh! the Countess! the Countess!' exclaimed Rose to Drummond's pathetic

shake of the head. She and Drummond were fully agreed about the Countess;

Drummond mimicking the lady: 'In verity, she is most mellifluous!' while

Rose sugared her lips and leaned gracefully forward with 'De Saldar, let

me petition you--since we must endure our title--since it is not to be

your Louisa?' and her eyes sought the ceiling, and her hand slowly melted

into her drapery, as the Countess was wont to effect it.

Lady Jocelyn laughed, but said: 'You're too hard upon the Countess. The

female euphuist is not to be met with every day. It's a different kind

from the Precieuse. She is not a Precieuse. She has made a capital

selection of her vocabulary from Johnson, and does not work it badly, if

we may judge by Harry and Melville. Euphuism--[affectation D.W.]--in

"woman" is the popular ideal of a Duchess. She has it by nature, or she

has studied it: and if so, you must respect her abilities.'

'Yes--Harry!' said Rose, who was angry at a loss of influence over her

rough brother, 'any one could manage Harry! and Uncle Mel 's a goose. You

should see what a "female euphuist" Dorry is getting. She says in the

Countess's hearing: "Rose! I should in verity wish to play, if it were

pleasing to my sweet cousin?" I'm ready to die with laughing. I don't do

it, Mama.'

The Countess, thus being discussed, was closeted with old Mrs. Bonner:

not idle. Like Hannibal in Italy, she had crossed her Alps in attaining

Beckley Court, and here in the enemy's country the wary general found

herself under the necessity of throwing up entrenchments to fly to in

case of defeat. Sir Abraham Harrington of Torquay, who had helped her to

cross the Alps, became a formidable barrier against her return.

Meantime Evan was riding over to Fallow field, and as he rode under black

visions between the hedgeways crowned with their hop-garlands, a

fragrance of roses saluted his nostril, and he called to mind the red and

the white the peerless representative of the two had given him, and which

he had thrust sullenly in his breast-pocket and he drew them out to look

at them reproachfully and sigh farewell to all the roses of life, when in

company with them he found in his hand the forgotten letter delivered to

him on the cricket-field the day of the memorable match. He smelt at the

roses, and turned the letter this way and that. His name was correctly

worded on the outside. With an odd reluctance to open it, he kept

trifling over the flowers, and then broke the broad seal, and these are

the words that met his eyes:

'Mr. EVAN HARRINGTON.

'You have made up your mind to be a tailor, instead of a Tomnoddy. You're

right. Not too many men in the world--plenty of nincompoops.

'Don't be made a weathercock of by a parcel of women. I want to find a

man worth something. If you go on with it, you shall end by riding in

your carriage, and cutting it as fine as any of them. I 'll take care

your belly is not punished while you're about it.

'From the time your name is over your shop, I give you L300 per annum.

'Or stop. There's nine of you. They shall have L40. per annum apiece, 9

times 40, eh? That's better than L300., if you know how to reckon. Don't

you wish it was ninety-nine tailors to a man! I could do that too, and it

would not break me; so don't be a proud young ass, or I 'll throw my

money to the geese. Lots of them in the world. How many geese to a

tailor?

'Go on for five years, and I double it.

'Give it up, and I give you up.

'No question about me. The first tailor can be paid his L40 in advance,

by applying at the offices of Messrs. Grist, Gray's Inn Square, Gray's

Inn. Let him say he is tailor No. 1, and show this letter, signed Agreed,

with your name in full at bottom. This will do--money will be paid--no

questions one side or other. So on--the whole nine. The end of the year

they can give a dinner to their acquaintance. Send in bill to Messrs.

Grist.

'The advice to you to take the cash according to terms mentioned is

advice of

'A FRIEND.

'P.S. You shall have your wine. Consult among yourselves, and carry it by

majority what wine it's to be. Five carries it. Dozen and half per

tailor, per annum--that's the limit.'

It was certainly a very hot day. The pores of his skin were prickling,

and his face was fiery; and yet he increased his pace, and broke into a

wild gallop for a mile or so; then suddenly turned his horse's head back

for Beckley. The secret of which evolution was, that he had caught the

idea of a plotted insult of Laxley's in the letter, for when the blood is

up we are drawn the way the tide sets strongest, and Evan was prepared to

swear that Laxley had written the letter, because he was burning to

chastise the man who had injured him with Rose.

Sure that he was about to confirm his suspicion, he read it again, gazed

upon Beckley Court in the sultry light, and turned for Fallow field once

more, devising to consult Mr. John Raikes on the subject.

The letter had a smack of crabbed age hardly counterfeit. The savour of

an old eccentric's sour generosity was there. Evan fell into bitter

laughter at the idea of Rose glancing over his shoulder and asking him

what nine of him to a man meant. He heard her clear voice pursuing him.

He could not get away from the mocking sound of Rose beseeching him to

instruct her on that point. How if the letter were genuine? He began to

abhor the sight and touch of the paper, for it struck division cold as

death between him and his darling. He saw now the immeasurable hopes his

residence at Beckley had lured him to. Rose had slightly awakened him:

this letter was blank day to his soul. He saw the squalid shop, the good,

stern, barren-spirited mother, the changeless drudgery, the existence

which seemed indeed no better than what the ninth of a man was fit for.

The influence of his mother came on him once more. Dared he reject the

gift if true? No spark of gratitude could he feel, but chained, dragged

at the heels of his fate, he submitted to think it true; resolving the

next moment that it was a fabrication and a trap: but he flung away the

roses.

As idle as a painted cavalier upon a painted drop-scene, the figure of

Mr. John Raikes was to be observed leaning with crossed legs against a

shady pillar of the Green Dragon; eyeing alternately, with an

indifference he did not care to conceal, the assiduous pecking in the

dust of some cocks and hens that had strayed from the yard of the inn,

and the sleepy blinking in the sun of an old dog at his feet: nor did

Evan's appearance discompose the sad sedateness of his demeanour.

'Yes; I am here still,' he answered Evan's greeting, with a flaccid

gesture. 'Don't excite me too much. A little at a time. I can't bear it!'

'How now? What is it now, Jack?' said Evan.

Mr. Raikes pointed at the dog. 'I've made a bet with myself he won't wag

his tail within the next ten minutes. I beg of you, Harrington, to remain

silent for both our sakes.'

Evan was induced to look at the dog, and the dog looked at him, and

gently moved his tail.

'I 've lost!' cried Raikes, in languid anguish. 'He 's getting excited.

He'll go mad. We're not accustomed to this in Fallow field.'

Evan dismounted, and was going to tell him the news he had for him, when

his attention was distracted by the sight of Rose's maid, Polly Wheedle,

splendidly bonneted, who slipped past them into the inn, after repulsing

Jack's careless attempt to caress her chin; which caused him to tell Evan

that he could not get on without the society of intellectual women.

Evan called a boy to hold the horse.

'Have you seen her before, Jack?'

Jack replied: 'Once. Your pensioner up-stairs she comes to visit. I do

suspect there kinship is betwixt them. Ay! one might swear them sisters.

She's a relief to the monotony of the petrified street--the old man with

the brown-gaitered legs and the doubled-up old woman with the crutch. I

heard the London horn this morning.'

Evan thrust the letter in his hands, telling him to read and form an

opinion on it, and went in the track of Miss Wheedle.

Mr. Raikes resumed his station against the pillar, and held the letter

out on a level with his thigh. Acting (as it was his nature to do off the

stage), he had not exaggerated his profound melancholy. Of a light soil

and with a tropical temperament, he had exhausted all lively recollection

of his brilliant career, and, in the short time since Evan had parted

with him, sunk abjectly down into the belief that he was fixed in Fallow

field for life. His spirit pitied for agitation and events. The horn of

the London coach had sounded distant metropolitan glories in the ears of

the exile in rustic parts.

Sighing heavily, Raikes opened the letter, in simple obedience to the

wishes of his friend; for he would have preferred to stand contemplating

his own state of hopeless stagnation. The sceptical expression he put on

when he had read the letter through must not deceive us. John Raikes had

dreamed of a beneficent eccentric old gentleman for many years: one

against whom, haply, he had bumped in a crowded thoroughfare, and had

with cordial politeness begged pardon of; had then picked up his

walking-stick; restored it, venturing a witty remark; retired,

accidentally dropping his card-case; subsequently, to his astonishment

and gratification, receiving a pregnant missive from that old gentleman's

lawyer. Or it so happened that Mr. Raikes met the old gentleman at a

tavern, and, by the exercise of a signal dexterity, relieved him from a

bone in his throat, and reluctantly imparted his address on issuing from

the said tavern. Or perhaps it was a lonely highway where the old

gentleman walked, and John Raikes had his name in the papers for a deed

of heroism, nor was man ungrateful. Since he had eaten up his uncle, this

old gentleman of his dreams walked in town and country-only, and alas!

Mr. Raikes could never encounter him in the flesh. The muscles of his

face, therefore, are no index to the real feelings of the youth when he

had thoroughly mastered the contents of the letter, and reflected that

the dream of his luck--his angelic old gentleman--had gone and wantonly

bestowed himself upon Evan Harrington, instead of the expectant and far

worthier John Raikes. Worthier inasmuch as he gave him credence for

existing long ere he knew of him and beheld him manifest.

Raikes retreated to the vacant parlour of the Green Dragon, and there

Evan found him staring at the unfolded letter, his head between his

cramped fists, with a contraction of his mouth. Evan was troubled by what

he had seen up-stairs, and did not speak till Jack looked up and said,

'Oh, there you are.'

'Well, what do you think, Jack?'

'Yes--it's all right,' Raikes rejoined in most matter-of-course tone, and

then he stepped to the window, and puffed a very deep breath indeed, and

glanced from the straight line of the street to the heavens, with whom,

injured as he was, he felt more at home now that he knew them capable of

miracles.

'Is it a bad joke played upon me?' said Evan.

Raikes upset a chair. 'It's quite childish. You're made a gentleman for

life, and you ask if it's a joke played upon you! It's maddening!

There--there goes my hat!'

With a vehement kick, Mr. Raikes despatched his ancient head-gear to the

other end of the room, saying that he must have some wine, and would; and

disdainful was his look at Evan, when the latter attempted to reason him

into economy. He ordered the wine; drank a glass, which coloured a new

mood in him; and affecting a practical manner, said:

'I confess I have been a little hurt with you, Harrington. You left me

stranded on the desert isle. I thought myself abandoned. I thought I

should never see anything but the lengthening of an endless bill on my

landlady's face--my sole planet. I was resigned till I heard my friend

"to-lool!" this morning. He kindled recollection. But, this is a tidy

Port, and that was a delectable sort of young lady that you were riding

with when we parted last! She laughs like the true metal. I suppose you

know it 's the identical damsel I met the day before, and owe it to for

my run on the downs--I 've a compliment ready made for her.'

'You think that letter written in good faith?' said Evan.

'Look here.' Mr. Raikes put on a calmness. 'You got up the other night,

and said you were a tailor--a devotee of the cabbage and the goose. Why

the notion didn't strike me is extraordinary--I ought to have known my

man. However, the old gentleman who gave the supper--he's evidently one

of your beastly rich old ruffianly republicans--spent part of his time in

America, I dare say. Put two and two together.'

But as Harrington desired plain, prose, Mr. Raikes tamed his imagination

to deliver it. He pointed distinctly at the old gentleman who gave the

supper as the writer of the letter. Evan, in return, confided to him his

history and present position, and Mr. Raikes, without cooling to his

fortunate friend, became a trifle patronizing.

'You said your father--I think I remember at old Cudford's--was a cavalry

officer, a bold dragoon?'

'I did,' replied Evan. 'I told a lie.'

'We knew it; but we feared your prowess, Harrington.'

Then they talked over the singular letter uninterruptedly, and Evan, weak

among his perplexities of position and sentiment: wanting money for the

girl up-stairs, for this distasteful comrade's bill at the Green Dragon,

and for his own immediate requirements, and with the bee buzzing of Rose

in his ears: 'She despises you,' consented in a desperation ultimately to

sign his name to it, and despatch Jack forthwith to Messrs. Grist.

'You'll find it's an imposition,' he said, beginning less to think it so,

now that his name was put to the hated monstrous thing; which also now

fell to pricking at curiosity. For he was in the early steps of his

career, and if his lady, holding to pride, despised him--as, he was

tortured into the hypocrisy of confessing, she justly might, why, then,

unless he was the sport of a farceur, here seemed a gilding of the path

of duty: he could be serviceable to friends. His claim on fair young

Rose's love had grown in the short while so prodigiously asinine that it

was a minor matter to constitute himself an old eccentric's puppet.

'No more an imposition than it's 50 of Virgil,' quoth the rejected usher.

'It smells of a plot,' said Evan.

'It 's the best joke that will be made in my time,' said Mr. Raikes,

rubbing his hands.

'And now listen to your luck,' said Evan; 'I wish mine were like it!' and

Jack heard of Lady Jocelyn's offer. He heard also that the young lady he

was to instruct was an heiress, and immediately inspected his garments,

and showed the sacred necessity there was for him to refit in London,

under the hands of scientific tailors. Evan wrote him an introduction to

Mr. Goren, counted out the contents of his purse (which Jack had reduced

in his study of the pastoral game of skittles, he confessed), and

calculated in a niggardly way, how far it would go to supply the fellow's

wants; sighing, as he did it, to think of Jack installed at Beckley

Court, while Jack, comparing his luck with Evan's, had discovered it to

be dismally inferior.

'Oh, confound those bellows you keep blowing!' he exclaimed. 'I wish to

be decently polite, Harrington, but you annoy me. Excuse me, pray, but

the most unexampled case of a lucky beggar that ever was known--and to

hear him panting and ready to whimper!--it's outrageous. You've only to

put up your name, and there you are--an independent gentleman! By Jove!

this isn't such a dull world. John Raikes! thou livest in times. I feel

warm in the sun of your prosperity, Harrington. Now listen to me.

Propound thou no inquiries anywhere about the old fellow who gave the

supper. Humour his whim--he won't have it. All Fallow field is paid to

keep him secret; I know it for a fact. I plied my rustic friends every

night. "Eat you yer victuals, and drink yer beer, and none o' yer pryin's

and peerin's among we!" That's my rebuff from Farmer Broadmead. And that

old boy knows more than he will tell. I saw his cunning old eye on-cock.

Be silent, Harrington. Let discretion be the seal of thy luck.'

'You can reckon on my silence,' said Evan. 'I believe in no such folly.

Men don't do these things.'

'Ha!' went Mr. Raikes contemptuously.

Of the two he was the foolisher fellow; but quacks have cured

incomprehensible maladies, and foolish fellows have an instinct for

eccentric actions.

Telling Jack to finish the wine, Evan rose to go.

'Did you order the horse to be fed?'

'Did I order the feeding of the horse?' said Jack, rising and yawning.

'No, I forgot him. Who can think of horses now?'

'Poor brute!' muttered Evan, and went out to see to him.

The ostler had required no instructions to give the horse a feed of corn.

Evan mounted, and rode out of the yard to where Jack was standing,

bare-headed, in his old posture against the pillar, of which the shade

had rounded, and the evening sun shone full on him over a black cloud. He

now looked calmly gay.

'I 'm laughing at the agricultural Broadmead!' he said: "'None o' yer

pryin's and peerin's!" He thought my powers of amusing prodigious. "Dang

'un, he do maak a chap laugh!" Well, Harrington, that sort of homage

isn't much, I admit.'

Raikes pursued: 'There's something in a pastoral life, after all.'

'Pastoral!' muttered Evan. 'I was speaking of you at Beckley, and hope

when you're there you won't make me regret my introduction of you. Keep

your mind on old Cudford's mutton-bone.'

'I perfectly understood you,' said Jack. 'I 'm Presumed to be in luck.

Ingratitude is not my fault--I'm afraid ambition is!'

'Console yourself with it or what you can get till we meet--here or in

London. But the Dragon shall be the address for both of us,' Evan said,

and nodded, trotting off.