CHAPTER XVII.
You, my reader, will remember, far back at the beginning of this
narrative, how, when a little lad on the Minnesota farm, I looked at
the photographs of the Holy Land and recognized places and pointed out
changes in places. Also you will remember, as I described the scene I
had witnessed of the healing of the lepers, I told the missionary that
I was a big man with a big sword, astride a horse and looking on.
That childhood incident was merely a trailing cloud of glory, as
Wordsworth puts it. Not in entire forgetfulness had I, little Darrell
Standing, come into the world. But those memories of other times and
places that glimmered up to the surface of my child consciousness soon
failed and faded. In truth, as is the way with all children, the shades
of the prison-house closed about me, and I remembered my mighty past no
more. Every man born of woman has a past mighty as mine. Very few men
born of women have been fortunate enough to suffer years of solitary
and strait-jacketing. That was my good fortune. I was enabled to
remember once again, and to remember, among other things, the time when
I sat astride a horse and beheld the lepers healed.
My name was Ragnar Lodbrog. I was in truth a large man. I stood half a
head above the Romans of my legion. But that was later, after the time
of my journey from Alexandria to Jerusalem, that I came to command a
legion. It was a crowded life, that. Books and books, and years of
writing could not record it all. So I shall briefen and no more than
hint at the beginnings of it.
Now all is clear and sharp save the very beginning. I never knew my
mother. I was told that I was tempest-born, on a beaked ship in the
Northern Sea, of a captured woman, after a sea fight and a sack of a
coastal stronghold. I never heard the name of my mother. She died at
the height of the tempest. She was of the North Danes, so old Lingaard
told me. He told me much that I was too young to remember, yet little
could he tell. A sea fight and a sack, battle and plunder and torch, a
flight seaward in the long ships to escape destruction upon the rocks,
and a killing strain and struggle against the frosty, foundering
seas—who, then, should know aught or mark a stranger woman in her hour
with her feet fast set on the way of death? Many died. Men marked the
living women, not the dead.
Sharp-bitten into my child imagination are the incidents immediately
after my birth, as told me by old Lingaard. Lingaard, too old to labour
at the sweeps, had been surgeon, undertaker, and midwife of the huddled
captives in the open midships. So I was delivered in storm, with the
spume of the cresting seas salt upon me.
Not many hours old was I when Tostig Lodbrog first laid eyes on me. His
was the lean ship, and his the seven other lean ships that had made the
foray, fled the rapine, and won through the storm. Tostig Lodbrog was
also called Muspell, meaning “The Burning”; for he was ever aflame with
wrath. Brave he was, and cruel he was, with no heart of mercy in that
great chest of his. Ere the sweat of battle had dried on him, leaning
on his axe, he ate the heart of Ngrun after the fight at Hasfarth.
Because of mad anger he sold his son, Garulf, into slavery to the Juts.
I remember, under the smoky rafters of Brunanbuhr, how he used to call
for the skull of Guthlaf for a drinking beaker. Spiced wine he would
have from no other cup than the skull of Guthlaf.
And to him, on the reeling deck after the storm was past, old Lingaard
brought me. I was only hours old, wrapped naked in a salt-crusted
wolfskin. Now it happens, being prematurely born, that I was very
small.
“Ho! ho!—a dwarf!” cried Tostig, lowering a pot of mead half-drained
from his lips to stare at me.
The day was bitter, but they say he swept me naked from the wolfskin,
and by my foot, between thumb and forefinger, dangled me to the bite of
the wind.
“A roach!” he ho-ho’d. “A shrimp! A sea-louse!” And he made to squash
me between huge forefinger and thumb, either of which, Lingaard avers,
was thicker than my leg or thigh.
But another whim was upon him.
“The youngling is a-thirst. Let him drink.”
And therewith, head-downward, into the half-pot of mead he thrust me.
And might well have drowned in this drink of men—I who had never known
a mother’s breast in the briefness of time I had lived—had it not been
for Lingaard. But when he plucked me forth from the brew, Tostig
Lodbrog struck him down in a rage. We rolled on the deck, and the great
bear hounds, captured in the fight with the North Danes just past,
sprang upon us.
“Ho! ho!” roared Tostig Lodbrog, as the old man and I and the wolfskin
were mauled and worried by the dogs.
But Lingaard gained his feet, saving me but losing the wolfskin to the
hounds.
Tostig Lodbrog finished the mead and regarded me, while Lingaard knew
better than to beg for mercy where was no mercy.
“Hop o’ my thumb,” quoth Tostig. “By Odin, the women of the North Danes
are a scurvy breed. They birth dwarfs, not men. Of what use is this
thing? He will never make a man. Listen you, Lingaard, grow him to be a
drink-boy at Brunanbuhr. And have an eye on the dogs lest they slobber
him down by mistake as a meat-crumb from the table.”
I knew no woman. Old Lingaard was midwife and nurse, and for nursery
were reeling decks and the stamp and trample of men in battle or storm.
How I survived puling infancy, God knows. I must have been born iron in
a day of iron, for survive I did, to give the lie to Tostig’s promise
of dwarf-hood. I outgrew all beakers and tankards, and not for long
could he half-drown me in his mead pot. This last was a favourite feat
of his. It was his raw humour, a sally esteemed by him delicious wit.
My first memories are of Tostig Lodbrog’s beaked ships and fighting
men, and of the feast hall at Brunanbuhr when our boats lay beached
beside the frozen fjord. For I was made drink-boy, and amongst my
earliest recollections are toddling with the wine-filled skull of
Guthlaf to the head of the table where Tostig bellowed to the rafters.
They were madmen, all of madness, but it seemed the common way of life
to me who knew naught else. They were men of quick rages and quick
battling. Their thoughts were ferocious; so was their eating ferocious,
and their drinking. And I grew like them. How else could I grow, when I
served the drink to the bellowings of drunkards and to the skalds
singing of Hialli, and the bold Hogni, and of the Niflung’s gold, and
of Gudrun’s revenge on Atli when she gave him the hearts of his
children and hers to eat while battle swept the benches, tore down the
hangings raped from southern coasts, and littered the feasting board
with swift corpses.
Oh, I, too, had a rage, well tutored in such school. I was but eight
when I showed my teeth at a drinking between the men of Brunanbuhr and
the Juts who came as friends with the jarl Agard in his three long
ships. I stood at Tostig Lodbrog’s shoulder, holding the skull of
Guthlaf that steamed and stank with the hot, spiced wine. And I waited
while Tostig should complete his ravings against the North Dane men.
But still he raved and still I waited, till he caught breath of fury to
assail the North Dane woman. Whereat I remembered my North Dane mother,
and saw my rage red in my eyes, and smote him with the skull of
Guthlaf, so that he was wine-drenched, and wine-blinded, and
fire-burnt. And as he reeled unseeing, smashing his great groping
clutches through the air at me, I was in and short-dirked him thrice in
belly, thigh and buttock, than which I could reach no higher up the
mighty frame of him.
And the jarl Agard’s steel was out, and his Juts joining him as he
shouted:
“A bear cub! A bear cub! By Odin, let the cub fight!”
And there, under that roaring roof of Brunanbuhr, the babbling
drink-boy of the North Danes fought with mighty Lodbrog. And when, with
one stroke, I was flung, dazed and breathless, half the length of that
great board, my flying body mowing down pots and tankards, Lodbrog
cried out command:
“Out with him! Fling him to the hounds!”
But the jarl would have it no, and clapped Lodbrog on the shoulder, and
asked me as a gift of friendship.
And south I went, when the ice passed out of the fjord, in Jarl Agard’s
ships. I was made drink-boy and sword-bearer to him, and in lieu of
other name was called Ragnar Lodbrog. Agard’s country was neighbour to
the Frisians, and a sad, flat country of fog and fen it was. I was with
him for three years, to his death, always at his back, whether hunting
swamp wolves or drinking in the great hall where Elgiva, his young
wife, often sat among her women. I was with Agard in south foray with
his ships along what would be now the coast of France, and there I
learned that still south were warmer seasons and softer climes and
women.
But we brought back Agard wounded to death and slow-dying. And we
burned his body on a great pyre, with Elgiva, in her golden corselet,
beside him singing. And there were household slaves in golden collars
that burned of a plenty there with her, and nine female thralls, and
eight male slaves of the Angles that were of gentle birth and
battle-captured. And there were live hawks so burned, and the two
hawk-boys with their birds.
But I, the drink-boy, Ragnar Lodbrog, did not burn. I was eleven, and
unafraid, and had never worn woven cloth on my body. And as the flames
sprang up, and Elgiva sang her death-song, and the thralls and slaves
screeched their unwillingness to die, I tore away my fastenings,
leaped, and gained the fens, the gold collar of my slavehood still on
my neck, footing it with the hounds loosed to tear me down.
In the fens were wild men, masterless men, fled slaves, and outlaws,
who were hunted in sport as the wolves were hunted.
For three years I knew never roof nor fire, and I grew hard as the
frost, and would have stolen a woman from the Juts but that the
Frisians by mischance, in a two days’ hunt, ran me down. By them I was
looted of my gold collar and traded for two wolf-hounds to Edwy, of the
Saxons, who put an iron collar on me, and later made of me and five
other slaves a present to Athel of the East Angles. I was thrall and
fighting man, until, lost in an unlucky raid far to the east beyond our
marches, I was sold among the Huns, and was a swineherd until I escaped
south into the great forests and was taken in as a freeman by the
Teutons, who were many, but who lived in small tribes and drifted
southward before the Hun advance.
And up from the south into the great forests came the Romans, fighting
men all, who pressed us back upon the Huns. It was a crushage of the
peoples for lack of room; and we taught the Romans what fighting was,
although in truth we were no less well taught by them.
But always I remembered the sun of the south-land that I had glimpsed
in the ships of Agard, and it was my fate, caught in this south drift
of the Teutons, to be captured by the Romans and be brought back to the
sea which I had not seen since I was lost away from the East Angles. I
was made a sweep-slave in the galleys, and it was as a sweep-slave that
at last I came to Rome.
All the story is too long of how I became a freeman, a citizen, and a
soldier, and of how, when I was thirty, I journeyed to Alexandria, and
from Alexandria to Jerusalem. Yet what I have told from the time when I
was baptized in the mead-pot of Tostig Lodbrog I have been compelled to
tell in order that you may understand what manner of man rode in
through the Jaffa Gate and drew all eyes upon him.
Well might they look. They were small breeds, lighter-boned and
lighter-thewed, these Romans and Jews, and a blonde like me they had
never gazed upon. All along the narrow streets they gave before me but
stood to stare wide-eyed at this yellow man from the north, or from God
knew where so far as they knew aught of the matter.
Practically all Pilate’s troops were auxiliaries, save for a handful of
Romans about the palace and the twenty Romans who rode with me. Often
enough have I found the auxiliaries good soldiers, but never so
steadily dependable as the Romans. In truth they were better fighting
men the year round than were we men of the North, who fought in great
moods and sulked in great moods. The Roman was invariably steady and
dependable.
There was a woman from the court of Antipas, who was a friend of
Pilate’s wife and whom I met at Pilate’s the night of my arrival. I
shall call her Miriam, for Miriam was the name I loved her by. If it
were merely difficult to describe the charm of women, I would describe
Miriam. But how describe emotion in words? The charm of woman is
wordless. It is different from perception that culminates in reason,
for it arises in sensation and culminates in emotion, which, be it
admitted, is nothing else than super-sensation.
In general, any woman has fundamental charm for any man. When this
charm becomes particular, then we call it love. Miriam had this
particular charm for me. Verily I was co-partner in her charm. Half of
it was my own man’s life in me that leapt and met her wide-armed and
made in me all that she was desirable plus all my desire of her.
Miriam was a grand woman. I use the term advisedly. She was
fine-bodied, commanding, over and above the average Jewish woman in
stature and in line. She was an aristocrat in social caste; she was an
aristocrat by nature. All her ways were large ways, generous ways. She
had brain, she had wit, and, above all, she had womanliness. As you
shall see, it was her womanliness that betrayed her and me in the end.
Brunette, olive-skinned, oval-faced, her hair was blue-black with its
blackness and her eyes were twin wells of black. Never were more
pronounced types of blonde and brunette in man and woman met than in
us.
And we met on the instant. There was no self-discussion, no waiting,
wavering, to make certain. She was mine the moment I looked upon her.
And by the same token she knew that I belonged to her above all men. I
strode to her. She half-lifted from her couch as if drawn upward to me.
And then we looked with all our eyes, blue eyes and black, until
Pilate’s wife, a thin, tense, overwrought woman, laughed nervously. And
while I bowed to the wife and gave greeting, I thought I saw Pilate
give Miriam a significant glance, as if to say, “Is he not all I
promised?” For he had had word of my coming from Sulpicius Quirinius,
the legate of Syria. As well had Pilate and I been known to each other
before ever he journeyed out to be procurator over the Semitic volcano
of Jerusalem.
Much talk we had that night, especially Pilate, who spoke in detail of
the local situation, and who seemed lonely and desirous to share his
anxieties with some one and even to bid for counsel. Pilate was of the
solid type of Roman, with sufficient imagination intelligently to
enforce the iron policy of Rome, and not unduly excitable under stress.
But on this night it was plain that he was worried. The Jews had got on
his nerves. They were too volcanic, spasmodic, eruptive. And further,
they were subtle. The Romans had a straight, forthright way of going
about anything. The Jews never approached anything directly, save
backwards, when they were driven by compulsion. Left to themselves,
they always approached by indirection. Pilate’s irritation was due, as
he explained, to the fact that the Jews were ever intriguing to make
him, and through him Rome, the catspaw in the matter of their religious
dissensions. As was well known to me, Rome did not interfere with the
religious notions of its conquered peoples; but the Jews were for ever
confusing the issues and giving a political cast to purely unpolitical
events.
Pilate waxed eloquent over the diverse sects and the fanatic uprisings
and riotings that were continually occurring.
“Lodbrog,” he said, “one can never tell what little summer cloud of
their hatching may turn into a thunderstorm roaring and rattling about
one’s ears. I am here to keep order and quiet. Despite me they make the
place a hornets’ nest. Far rather would I govern Scythians or savage
Britons than these people who are never at peace about God. Right now
there is a man up to the north, a fisherman turned preacher, and
miracle-worker, who as well as not may soon have all the country by the
ears and my recall on its way from Rome.”
This was the first I had heard of the man called Jesus, and I little
remarked it at the time. Not until afterward did I remember him, when
the little summer cloud had become a full-fledged thunderstorm.
“I have had report of him,” Pilate went on. “He is not political. There
is no doubt of that. But trust Caiaphas, and Hanan behind Caiaphas, to
make of this fisherman a political thorn with which to prick Rome and
ruin me.”
“This Caiaphas, I have heard of him as high priest, then who is this
Hanan?” I asked.
“The real high priest, a cunning fox,” Pilate explained. “Caiaphas was
appointed by Gratus, but Caiaphas is the shadow and the mouthpiece of
Hanan.”
“They have never forgiven you that little matter of the votive
shields,” Miriam teased.
Whereupon, as a man will when his sore place is touched, Pilate
launched upon the episode, which had been an episode, no more, at the
beginning, but which had nearly destroyed him. In all innocence before
his palace he had affixed two shields with votive inscriptions. Ere the
consequent storm that burst on his head had passed the Jews had written
their complaints to Tiberius, who approved them and reprimanded Pilate.
I was glad, a little later, when I could have talk with Miriam.
Pilate’s wife had found opportunity to tell me about her. She was of
old royal stock. Her sister was wife of Philip, tetrarch of Gaulonitis
and Batanæa. Now this Philip was brother to Antipas, tetrarch of
Galilee and Peræa, and both were sons of Herod, called by the Jews the
“Great.” Miriam, as I understood, was at home in the courts of both
tetrarchs, being herself of the blood. Also, when a girl, she had been
betrothed to Archelaus at the time he was ethnarch of Jerusalem. She
had a goodly fortune in her own right, so that marriage had not been
compulsory. To boot, she had a will of her own, and was doubtless hard
to please in so important a matter as husbands.
It must have been in the very air we breathed, for in no time Miriam
and I were at it on the subject of religion. Truly, the Jews of that
day battened on religion as did we on fighting and feasting. For all my
stay in that country there was never a moment when my wits were not
buzzing with the endless discussions of life and death, law, and God.
Now Pilate believed neither in gods, nor devils, nor anything. Death,
to him, was the blackness of unbroken sleep; and yet, during his years
in Jerusalem, he was ever vexed with the inescapable fuss and fury of
things religious. Why, I had a horse-boy on my trip into Idumæa, a
wretched creature that could never learn to saddle and who yet could
talk, and most learnedly, without breath, from nightfall to sunrise, on
the hair-splitting differences in the teachings of all the rabbis from
Shemaiah to Gamaliel.
But to return to Miriam.
“You believe you are immortal,” she was soon challenging me. “Then why
do you fear to talk about it?”
“Why burden my mind with thoughts about certainties?” I countered.
“But are you certain?” she insisted. “Tell me about it. What is it
like—your immortality?”
And when I had told her of Niflheim and Muspell, of the birth of the
giant Ymir from the snowflakes, of the cow Andhumbla, and of Fenrir and
Loki and the frozen Jötuns—as I say, when I had told her of all this,
and of Thor and Odin and our own Valhalla, she clapped her hands and
cried out, with sparkling eyes:
“Oh, you barbarian! You great child! You yellow giant-thing of the
frost! You believer of old nurse tales and stomach satisfactions! But
the spirit of you, that which cannot die, where will it go when your
body is dead?”
“As I have said, Valhalla,” I answered. “And my body shall be there,
too.”
“Eating?—drinking?—fighting?”
“And loving,” I added. “We must have our women in heaven, else what is
heaven for?”
“I do not like your heaven,” she said. “It is a mad place, a beast
place, a place of frost and storm and fury.”
“And your heaven?” I questioned.
“Is always unending summer, with the year at the ripe for the fruits
and flowers and growing things.”
I shook my head and growled:
“I do not like your heaven. It is a sad place, a soft place, a place
for weaklings and eunuchs and fat, sobbing shadows of men.”
My remarks must have glamoured her mind, for her eyes continued to
sparkle, and mine was half a guess that she was leading me on.
“My heaven,” she said, “is the abode of the blest.”
“Valhalla is the abode of the blest,” I asserted. “For look you, who
cares for flowers where flowers always are? In my country, after the
iron winter breaks and the sun drives away the long night, the first
blossoms twinkling on the melting ice-edge are things of joy, and we
look, and look again.
“And fire!” I cried out. “Great glorious fire! A fine heaven yours
where a man cannot properly esteem a roaring fire under a tight roof
with wind and snow a-drive outside.”
“A simple folk, you,” she was back at me. “You build a roof and a fire
in a snowbank and call it heaven. In my heaven we do not have to escape
the wind and snow.”
“No,” I objected. “We build roof and fire to go forth from into the
frost and storm and to return to from the frost and storm. Man’s life
is fashioned for battle with frost and storm. His very fire and roof he
makes by his battling. I know. For three years, once, I knew never roof
nor fire. I was sixteen, and a man, ere ever I wore woven cloth on my
body. I was birthed in storm, after battle, and my swaddling cloth was
a wolfskin. Look at me and see what manner of man lives in Valhalla.”
And look she did, all a-glamour, and cried out:
“You great, yellow giant-thing of a man!” Then she added pensively,
“Almost it saddens me that there may not be such men in my heaven.”
“It is a good world,” I consoled her. “Good is the plan and wide. There
is room for many heavens. It would seem that to each is given the
heaven that is his heart’s desire. A good country, truly, there beyond
the grave. I doubt not I shall leave our feast halls and raid your
coasts of sun and flowers, and steal you away. My mother was so
stolen.”
And in the pause I looked at her, and she looked at me, and dared to
look. And my blood ran fire. By Odin, this was a woman!
What might have happened I know not, for Pilate, who had ceased from
his talk with Ambivius and for some time had sat grinning, broke the
pause.
“A rabbi, a Teutoberg rabbi!” he gibed. “A new preacher and a new
doctrine come to Jerusalem. Now will there be more dissensions, and
riotings, and stonings of prophets. The gods save us, it is a
mad-house. Lodbrog, I little thought it of you. Yet here you are,
spouting and fuming as wildly as any madman from the desert about what
shall happen to you when you are dead. One life at a time, Lodbrog. It
saves trouble. It saves trouble.”
“Go on, Miriam, go on,” his wife cried.
She had sat entranced during the discussion, with hands tightly
clasped, and the thought flickered up in my mind that she had already
been corrupted by the religious folly of Jerusalem. At any rate, as I
was to learn in the days that followed, she was unduly bent upon such
matters. She was a thin woman, as if wasted by fever. Her skin was
tight-stretched. Almost it seemed I could look through her hands did
she hold them between me and the light. She was a good woman, but
highly nervous, and, at times, fancy-flighted about shades and signs
and omens. Nor was she above seeing visions and hearing voices. As for
me, I had no patience with such weaknesses. Yet was she a good woman
with no heart of evil.
I was on a mission for Tiberius, and it was my ill luck to see little
of Miriam. On my return from the court of Antipas she had gone into
Batanæa to Philip’s court, where was her sister. Once again I was back
in Jerusalem, and, though it was no necessity of my business to see
Philip, who, though weak, was faithful to Roman will, I journeyed into
Batanæa in the hope of meeting with Miriam.
Then there was my trip into Idumæa. Also, I travelled into Syria in
obedience to the command of Sulpicius Quirinius, who, as imperial
legate, was curious of my first-hand report of affairs in Jerusalem.
Thus, travelling wide and much, I had opportunity to observe the
strangeness of the Jews who were so madly interested in God. It was
their peculiarity. Not content with leaving such matters to their
priests, they were themselves for ever turning priests and preaching
wherever they could find a listener. And listeners they found a-plenty.
They gave up their occupations to wander about the country like
beggars, disputing and bickering with the rabbis and Talmudists in the
synagogues and temple porches. It was in Galilee, a district of little
repute, the inhabitants of which were looked upon as witless, that I
crossed the track of the man Jesus. It seems that he had been a
carpenter, and after that a fisherman, and that his fellow-fishermen
had ceased dragging their nets and followed him in his wandering life.
Some few looked upon him as a prophet, but the most contended that he
was a madman. My wretched horse-boy, himself claiming Talmudic
knowledge second to none, sneered at Jesus, calling him the king of the
beggars, calling his doctrine Ebionism, which, as he explained to me,
was to the effect that only the poor should win to heaven, while the
rich and powerful were to burn for ever in some lake of fire.
It was my observation that it was the custom of the country for every
man to call every other man a madman. In truth, in my judgment, they
were all mad. There was a plague of them. They cast out devils by magic
charms, cured diseases by the laying on of hands, drank deadly poisons
unharmed, and unharmed played with deadly snakes—or so they claimed.
They ran away to starve in the deserts. They emerged howling new
doctrine, gathering crowds about them, forming new sects that split on
doctrine and formed more sects.
“By Odin,” I told Pilate, “a trifle of our northern frost and snow
would cool their wits. This climate is too soft. In place of building
roofs and hunting meat, they are ever building doctrine.”
“And altering the nature of God,” Pilate corroborated sourly. “A curse
on doctrine.”
“So say I,” I agreed. “If ever I get away with unaddled wits from this
mad land, I’ll cleave through whatever man dares mention to me what may
happen after I am dead.”
Never were such trouble makers. Everything under the sun was pious or
impious to them. They, who were so clever in hair-splitting argument,
seemed incapable of grasping the Roman idea of the State. Everything
political was religious; everything religious was political. Thus every
procurator’s hands were full. The Roman eagles, the Roman statues, even
the votive shields of Pilate, were deliberate insults to their
religion.
The Roman taking of the census was an abomination. Yet it had to be
done, for it was the basis of taxation. But there it was again.
Taxation by the State was a crime against their law and God. Oh, that
Law! It was not the Roman law. It was their law, what they called God’s
law. There were the zealots, who murdered anybody who broke this law.
And for a procurator to punish a zealot caught red-handed was to raise
a riot or an insurrection.
Everything, with these strange people, was done in the name of God.
There were what we Romans called the _thaumaturgi_. They worked
miracles to prove doctrine. Ever has it seemed to me a witless thing to
prove the multiplication table by turning a staff into a serpent, or
even into two serpents. Yet these things the _thaumaturgi_ did, and
always to the excitement of the common people.
Heavens, what sects and sects! Pharisees, Essenes, Sadducees—a legion
of them! No sooner did they start with a new quirk when it turned
political. Coponius, procurator fourth before Pilate, had a pretty time
crushing the Gaulonite sedition which arose in this fashion and spread
down from Gamala.
In Jerusalem, that last time I rode in, it was easy to note the
increasing excitement of the Jews. They ran about in crowds, chattering
and spouting. Some were proclaiming the end of the world. Others
satisfied themselves with the imminent destruction of the Temple. And
there were rank revolutionists who announced that Roman rule was over
and the new Jewish kingdom about to begin.
Pilate, too, I noted, showed heavy anxiety. That they were giving him a
hard time of it was patent. But I will say, as you shall see, that he
matched their subtlety with equal subtlety; and from what I saw of him
I have little doubt but what he would have confounded many a disputant
in the synagogues.
“But half a legion of Romans,” he regretted to me, “and I would take
Jerusalem by the throat . . . and then be recalled for my pains, I
suppose.”
Like me, he had not too much faith in the auxiliaries; and of Roman
soldiers we had but a scant handful.
Back again, I lodged in the palace, and to my great joy found Miriam
there. But little satisfaction was mine, for the talk ran long on the
situation. There was reason for this, for the city buzzed like the
angry hornets’ nest it was. The fast called the Passover—a religious
affair, of course—was near, and thousands were pouring in from the
country, according to custom, to celebrate the feast in Jerusalem.
These newcomers, naturally, were all excitable folk, else they would
not be bent on such pilgrimage. The city was packed with them, so that
many camped outside the walls. As for me, I could not distinguish how
much of the ferment was due to the teachings of the wandering
fisherman, and how much of it was due to Jewish hatred for Rome.
“A tithe, no more, and maybe not so much, is due to this Jesus,” Pilate
answered my query. “Look to Caiaphas and Hanan for the main cause of
the excitement. They know what they are about. They are stirring it up,
to what end who can tell, except to cause me trouble.”
“Yes, it is certain that Caiaphas and Hanan are responsible,” Miriam
said, “but you, Pontius Pilate, are only a Roman and do not understand.
Were you a Jew, you would realize that there is a greater seriousness
at the bottom of it than mere dissension of the sectaries or
trouble-making for you and Rome. The high priests and Pharisees, every
Jew of place or wealth, Philip, Antipas, myself—we are all fighting for
very life.
“This fisherman may be a madman. If so, there is a cunning in his
madness. He preaches the doctrine of the poor. He threatens our law,
and our law is our life, as you have learned ere this. We are jealous
of our law, as you would be jealous of the air denied your body by a
throttling hand on your throat. It is Caiaphas and Hanan and all they
stand for, or it is the fisherman. They must destroy him, else he will
destroy them.”
“Is it not strange, so simple a man, a fisherman?” Pilate’s wife
breathed forth. “What manner of man can he be to possess such power? I
would that I could see him. I would that with my own eyes I could see
so remarkable a man.”
Pilate’s brows corrugated at her words, and it was clear that to the
burden on his nerves was added the overwrought state of his wife’s
nerves.
“If you would see him, beat up the dens of the town,” Miriam laughed
spitefully. “You will find him wine-bibbing or in the company of
nameless women. Never so strange a prophet came up to Jerusalem.”
“And what harm in that?” I demanded, driven against my will to take the
part of the fisherman. “Have I not wine-guzzled a-plenty and passed
strange nights in all the provinces? The man is a man, and his ways are
men’s ways, else am I a madman, which I here deny.”
Miriam shook her head as she spoke.
“He is not mad. Worse, he is dangerous. All Ebionism is dangerous. He
would destroy all things that are fixed. He is a revolutionist. He
would destroy what little is left to us of the Jewish state and
Temple.”
Here Pilate shook his head.
“He is not political. I have had report of him. He is a visionary.
There is no sedition in him. He affirms the Roman tax even.”
“Still you do not understand,” Miriam persisted. “It is not what he
plans; it is the effect, if his plans are achieved, that makes him a
revolutionist. I doubt that he foresees the effect. Yet is the man a
plague, and, like any plague, should be stamped out.”
“From all that I have heard, he is a good-hearted, simple man with no
evil in him,” I stated.
And thereat I told of the healing of the ten lepers I had witnessed in
Samaria on my way through Jericho.
Pilate’s wife sat entranced at what I told. Came to our ears distant
shoutings and cries of some street crowd, and we knew the soldiers were
keeping the streets cleared.
“And you believe this wonder, Lodbrog?” Pilate demanded. “You believe
that in the flash of an eye the festering sores departed from the
lepers?”
“I saw them healed,” I replied. “I followed them to make certain. There
was no leprosy in them.”
“But did you see them sore?—before the healing?” Pilate insisted.
I shook my head.
“I was only told so,” I admitted. “When I saw them afterward, they had
all the seeming of men who had once been lepers. They were in a daze.
There was one who sat in the sun and ever searched his body and stared
and stared at the smooth flesh as if unable to believe his eyes. He
would not speak, nor look at aught else than his flesh, when I
questioned him. He was in a maze. He sat there in the sun and stared
and stared.”
Pilate smiled contemptuously, and I noted the quiet smile on Miriam’s
face was equally contemptuous. And Pilate’s wife sat as if a corpse,
scarce breathing, her eyes wide and unseeing.
Spoke Ambivius: “Caiaphas holds—he told me but yesterday—that the
fisherman claims that he will bring God down on earth and make here a
new kingdom over which God will rule—”
“Which would mean the end of Roman rule,” I broke in.
“That is where Caiaphas and Hanan plot to embroil Rome,” Miriam
explained. “It is not true. It is a lie they have made.”
Pilate nodded and asked:
“Is there not somewhere in your ancient books a prophecy that the
priests here twist into the intent of this fisherman’s mind?”
To this she agreed, and gave him the citation. I relate the incident to
evidence the depth of Pilate’s study of this people he strove so hard
to keep in order.
“What I have heard,” Miriam continued, “is that this Jesus preaches the
end of the world and the beginning of God’s kingdom, not here, but in
heaven.”
“I have had report of that,” Pilate said. “It is true. This Jesus holds
the justness of the Roman tax. He holds that Rome shall rule until all
rule passes away with the passing of the world. I see more clearly the
trick Hanan is playing me.”
“It is even claimed by some of his followers,” Ambivius volunteered,
“that he is God Himself.”
“I have no report that he has so said,” Pilate replied.
“Why not?” his wife breathed. “Why not? Gods have descended to earth
before.”
“Look you,” Pilate said. “I have it by creditable report, that after
this Jesus had worked some wonder whereby a multitude was fed on
several loaves and fishes, the foolish Galileans were for making him a
king. Against his will they would make him a king. To escape them he
fled into the mountains. No madness there. He was too wise to accept
the fate they would have forced upon him.”
“Yet that is the very trick Hanan would force upon you,” Miriam
reiterated. “They claim for him that he would be king of the Jews—an
offence against Roman law, wherefore Rome must deal with him.”
Pilate shrugged his shoulders.
“A king of the beggars, rather; or a king of the dreamers. He is no
fool. He is visionary, but not visionary of this world’s power. All
luck go with him in the next world, for that is beyond Rome’s
jurisdiction.”
“He holds that property is sin—that is what hits the Pharisees,”
Ambivius spoke up.
Pilate laughed heartily.
“This king of the beggars and his fellow-beggars still do respect
property,” he explained. “For, look you, not long ago they had even a
treasurer for their wealth. Judas his name was, and there were words in
that he stole from their common purse which he carried.”
“Jesus did not steal?” Pilate’s wife asked.
“No,” Pilate answered; “it was Judas, the treasurer.”
“Who was this John?” I questioned. “He was in trouble up Tiberias way
and Antipas executed him.”
“Another one,” Miriam answered. “He was born near Hebron. He was an
enthusiast and a desert-dweller. Either he or his followers claimed
that he was Elijah raised from the dead. Elijah, you see, was one of
our old prophets.”
“Was he seditious?” I asked.
Pilate grinned and shook his head, then said:
“He fell out with Antipas over the matter of Herodias. John was a
moralist. It is too long a story, but he paid for it with his head. No,
there was nothing political in that affair.”
“It is also claimed by some that Jesus is the Son of David,” Miriam
said. “But it is absurd. Nobody at Nazareth believes it. You see, his
whole family, including his married sisters, lives there and is known
to all of them. They are a simple folk, mere common people.”
“I wish it were as simple, the report of all this complexity that I
must send to Tiberius,” Pilate grumbled. “And now this fisherman is
come to Jerusalem, the place is packed with pilgrims ripe for any
trouble, and Hanan stirs and stirs the broth.”
“And before he is done he will have his way,” Miriam forecast. “He has
laid the task for you, and you will perform it.”
“Which is?” Pilate queried.
“The execution of this fisherman.”
Pilate shook his head stubbornly, but his wife cried out:
“No! No! It would be a shameful wrong. The man has done no evil. He has
not offended against Rome.”
She looked beseechingly to Pilate, who continued to shake his head.
“Let them do their own beheading, as Antipas did,” he growled. “The
fisherman counts for nothing; but I shall be no catspaw to their
schemes. If they must destroy him, they must destroy him. That is their
affair.”
“But you will not permit it,” cried Pilate’s wife.
“A pretty time would I have explaining to Tiberius if I interfered,”
was his reply.
“No matter what happens,” said Miriam, “I can see you writing
explanations, and soon; for Jesus is already come up to Jerusalem and a
number of his fishermen with him.”
Pilate showed the irritation this information caused him.
“I have no interest in his movements,” he pronounced. “I hope never to
see him.”
“Trust Hanan to find him for you,” Miriam replied, “and to bring him to
your gate.”
Pilate shrugged his shoulders, and there the talk ended. Pilate’s wife,
nervous and overwrought, must claim Miriam to her apartments, so that
nothing remained for me but to go to bed and doze off to the buzz and
murmur of the city of madmen.
Events moved rapidly. Over night the white heat of the city had
scorched upon itself. By midday, when I rode forth with half a dozen of
my men, the streets were packed, and more reluctant than ever were the
folk to give way before me. If looks could kill I should have been a
dead man that day. Openly they spat at sight of me, and, everywhere
arose snarls and cries.
Less was I a thing of wonder, and more was I the thing hated in that I
wore the hated harness of Rome. Had it been any other city, I should
have given command to my men to lay the flats of their swords on those
snarling fanatics. But this was Jerusalem, at fever heat, and these
were a people unable in thought to divorce the idea of State from the
idea of God.
Hanan the Sadducee had done his work well. No matter what he and the
Sanhedrim believed of the true inwardness of the situation, it was
clear this rabble had been well tutored to believe that Rome was at the
bottom of it.
I encountered Miriam in the press. She was on foot, attended only by a
woman. It was no time in such turbulence for her to be abroad garbed as
became her station. Through her sister she was indeed sister-in-law to
Antipas for whom few bore love. So she was dressed discreetly, her face
covered, so that she might pass as any Jewish woman of the lower
orders. But not to my eye could she hide that fine stature of her, that
carriage and walk, so different from other women’s, of which I had
already dreamed more than once.
Few and quick were the words we were able to exchange, for the way
jammed on the moment, and soon my men and horses were being pressed and
jostled. Miriam was sheltered in an angle of house-wall.
“Have they got the fisherman yet?” I asked.
“No; but he is just outside the wall. He has ridden up to Jerusalem on
an ass, with a multitude before and behind; and some, poor dupes, have
hailed him as he passed as King of Israel. That finally is the pretext
with which Hanan will compel Pilate. Truly, though not yet taken, the
sentence is already written. This fisherman is a dead man.”
“But Pilate will not arrest him,” I defended. Miriam shook her head.
“Hanan will attend to that. They will bring him before the Sanhedrim.
The sentence will be death. They may stone him.”
“But the Sanhedrim has not the right to execute,” I contended.
“Jesus is not a Roman,” she replied. “He is a Jew. By the law of the
Talmud he is guilty of death, for he has blasphemed against the law.”
Still I shook my head.
“The Sanhedrim has not the right.”
“Pilate is willing that it should take that right.”
“But it is a fine question of legality,” I insisted. “You know what the
Romans are in such matters.”
“Then will Hanan avoid the question,” she smiled, “by compelling Pilate
to crucify him. In either event it will be well.”
A surging of the mob was sweeping our horses along and grinding our
knees together. Some fanatic had fallen, and I could feel my horse
recoil and half rear as it tramped on him, and I could hear the man
screaming and the snarling menace from all about rising to a roar. But
my head was over my shoulder as I called back to Miriam:
“You are hard on a man you have said yourself is without evil.”
“I am hard upon the evil that will come of him if he lives,” she
replied.
Scarcely did I catch her words, for a man sprang in, seizing my
bridle-rein and leg and struggling to unhorse me. With my open palm,
leaning forward, I smote him full upon cheek and jaw. My hand covered
the face of him, and a hearty will of weight was in the blow. The
dwellers in Jerusalem are not used to man’s buffets. I have often
wondered since if I broke the fellow’s neck.
Next I saw Miriam was the following day. I met her in the court of
Pilate’s palace. She seemed in a dream. Scarce her eyes saw me. Scarce
her wits embraced my identity. So strange was she, so in daze and amaze
and far-seeing were her eyes, that I was reminded of the lepers I had
seen healed in Samaria.
She became herself by an effort, but only her outward self. In her eyes
was a message unreadable. Never before had I seen woman’s eyes so.
She would have passed me ungreeted had I not confronted her way. She
paused and murmured words mechanically, but all the while her eyes
dreamed through me and beyond me with the largeness of the vision that
filled them.
“I have seen Him, Lodbrog,” she whispered. “I have seen Him.”
“The gods grant that he is not so ill-affected by the sight of you,
whoever he may be,” I laughed.
She took no notice of my poor-timed jest, and her eyes remained full
with vision, and she would have passed on had I not again blocked her
way.
“Who is this he?” I demanded. “Some man raised from the dead to put
such strange light in your eyes?”
“One who has raised others from the dead,” she replied. “Truly I
believe that He, this Jesus, has raised the dead. He is the Prince of
Light, the Son of God. I have seen Him. Truly I believe that He is the
Son of God.”
Little could I glean from her words, save that she had met this
wandering fisherman and been swept away by his folly. For surely this
Miriam was not the Miriam who had branded him a plague and demanded
that he be stamped out as any plague.
“He has charmed you,” I cried angrily.
Her eyes seemed to moisten and grow deeper as she gave confirmation.
“Oh, Lodbrog, His is charm beyond all thinking, beyond all describing.
But to look upon Him is to know that here is the all-soul of goodness
and of compassion. I have seen Him. I have heard Him. I shall give all
I have to the poor, and I shall follow Him.”
Such was her certitude that I accepted it fully, as I had accepted the
amazement of the lepers of Samaria staring at their smooth flesh; and I
was bitter that so great a woman should be so easily wit-addled by a
vagrant wonder-worker.
“Follow him,” I sneered. “Doubtless you will wear a crown when he wins
to his kingdom.”
She nodded affirmation, and I could have struck her in the face for her
folly. I drew aside, and as she moved slowly on she murmured:
“His kingdom is not here. He is the Son of David. He is the Son of God.
He is whatever He has said, or whatever has been said of Him that is
good and great.”
“A wise man of the East,” I found Pilate chuckling. “He is a thinker,
this unlettered fisherman. I have sought more deeply into him. I have
fresh report. He has no need of wonder-workings. He out-sophisticates
the most sophistical of them. They have laid traps, and He has laughed
at their traps. Look you. Listen to this.”
Whereupon he told me how Jesus had confounded his confounders when they
brought to him for judgment a woman taken in adultery.
“And the tax,” Pilate exulted on. “‘To Cæsar what is Cæsar’s, to God
what is God’s,’ was his answer to them. That was Hanan’s trick, and
Hanan is confounded. At last has there appeared one Jew who understands
our Roman conception of the State.”
Next I saw Pilate’s wife. Looking into her eyes I knew, on the instant,
after having seen Miriam’s eyes, that this tense, distraught woman had
likewise seen the fisherman.
“The Divine is within Him,” she murmured to me. “There is within Him a
personal awareness of the indwelling of God.”
“Is he God?” I queried, gently, for say something I must.
She shook her head.
“I do not know. He has not said. But this I know: of such stuff gods
are made.”
“A charmer of women,” was my privy judgment, as I left Pilate’s wife
walking in dreams and visions.
The last days are known to all of you who read these lines, and it was
in those last days that I learned that this Jesus was equally a charmer
of men. He charmed Pilate. He charmed me.
After Hanan had sent Jesus to Caiaphas, and the Sanhedrim, assembled in
Caiaphas’s house, had condemned Jesus to death, Jesus, escorted by a
howling mob, was sent to Pilate for execution.
Now, for his own sake and for Rome’s sake, Pilate did not want to
execute him. Pilate was little interested in the fisherman and greatly
interested in peace and order. What cared Pilate for a man’s life?—for
many men’s lives? The school of Rome was iron, and the governors sent
out by Rome to rule conquered peoples were likewise iron. Pilate
thought and acted in governmental abstractions. Yet, look: when Pilate
went out scowling to meet the mob that had fetched the fisherman, he
fell immediately under the charm of the man.
I was present. I know. It was the first time Pilate had ever seen him.
Pilate went out angry. Our soldiers were in readiness to clear the
court of its noisy vermin. And immediately Pilate laid eyes on the
fisherman Pilate was subdued—nay, was solicitous. He disclaimed
jurisdiction, demanded that they should judge the fisherman by their
law and deal with him by their law, since the fisherman was a Jew and
not a Roman. Never were there Jews so obedient to Roman rule. They
cried out that it was unlawful, under Rome, for them to put any man to
death. Yet Antipas had beheaded John and come to no grief of it.
And Pilate left them in the court, open under the sky, and took Jesus
alone into the judgment hall. What happened therein I know not, save
that when Pilate emerged he was changed. Whereas before he had been
disinclined to execute because he would not be made a catspaw to Hanan,
he was now disinclined to execute because of regard for the fisherman.
His effort now was to save the fisherman. And all the while the mob
cried: “Crucify him! Crucify him!”
You, my reader, know the sincerity of Pilate’s effort. You know how he
tried to befool the mob, first by mocking Jesus as a harmless fool; and
second by offering to release him according to the custom of releasing
one prisoner at time of the Passover. And you know how the priests’
quick whisperings led the mob to cry out for the release of the
murderer Bar-Abba.
In vain Pilate struggled against the fate being thrust upon him by the
priests. By sneer and jibe he hoped to make a farce of the transaction.
He laughingly called Jesus the King of the Jews and ordered him to be
scourged. His hope was that all would end in laughter and in laughter
be forgotten.
I am glad to say that no Roman soldiers took part in what followed. It
was the soldiers of the auxiliaries who crowned and cloaked Jesus, put
the reed of sovereignty in his hand, and, kneeling, hailed him King of
the Jews. Although it failed, it was a play to placate. And I, looking
on, learned the charm of Jesus. Despite the cruel mockery of his
situation, he was regal. And I was quiet as I gazed. It was his own
quiet that went into me. I was soothed and satisfied, and was without
bewilderment. This thing had to be. All was well. The serenity of Jesus
in the heart of the tumult and pain became my serenity. I was scarce
moved by any thought to save him.
On the other hand, I had gazed on too many wonders of the human in my
wild and varied years to be affected to foolish acts by this particular
wonder. I was all serenity. I had no word to say. I had no judgment to
pass. I knew that things were occurring beyond my comprehension, and
that they must occur.
Still Pilate struggled. The tumult increased. The cry for blood rang
through the court, and all were clamouring for crucifixion. Again
Pilate went back into the judgment hall. His effort at a farce having
failed, he attempted to disclaim jurisdiction. Jesus was not of
Jerusalem. He was a born subject of Antipas, and to Antipas Pilate was
for sending Jesus.
But the uproar was by now communicating itself to the city. Our troops
outside the palace were being swept away in the vast street mob.
Rioting had begun that in the flash of an eye could turn into civil war
and revolution. My own twenty legionaries were close to hand and in
readiness. They loved the fanatic Jews no more than did I, and would
have welcomed my command to clear the court with naked steel.
When Pilate came out again his words for Antipas’ jurisdiction could
not be heard, for all the mob was shouting that Pilate was a traitor,
that if he let the fisherman go he was no friend of Tiberius. Close
before me, as I leaned against the wall, a mangy, bearded, long-haired
fanatic sprang up and down unceasingly, and unceasingly chanted:
“Tiberius is emperor; there is no king! Tiberius is emperor; there is
no king!” I lost patience. The man’s near noise was an offence.
Lurching sidewise, as if by accident, I ground my foot on his to a
terrible crushing. The fool seemed not to notice. He was too mad to be
aware of the pain, and he continued to chant: “Tiberius is emperor;
there is no king!”
I saw Pilate hesitate. Pilate, the Roman governor, for the moment was
Pilate the man, with a man’s anger against the miserable creatures
clamouring for the blood of so sweet and simple, brave and good a
spirit as this Jesus.
I saw Pilate hesitate. His gaze roved to me, as if he were about to
signal to me to let loose; and I half-started forward, releasing the
mangled foot under my foot. I was for leaping to complete that
half-formed wish of Pilate and to sweep away in blood and cleanse the
court of the wretched scum that howled in it.
It was not Pilate’s indecision that decided me. It was this Jesus that
decided Pilate and me. This Jesus looked at me. He commanded me. I tell
you this vagrant fisherman, this wandering preacher, this piece of
driftage from Galilee, commanded me. No word he uttered. Yet his
command was there, unmistakable as a trumpet call. And I stayed my
foot, and held my hand, for who was I to thwart the will and way of so
greatly serene and sweetly sure a man as this? And as I stayed I knew
all the charm of him—all that in him had charmed Miriam and Pilate’s
wife, that had charmed Pilate himself.
You know the rest. Pilate washed his hands of Jesus’ blood, and the
rioters took his blood upon their own heads. Pilate gave orders for the
crucifixion. The mob was content, and content, behind the mob, were
Caiaphas, Hanan, and the Sanhedrim. Not Pilate, not Tiberius, not Roman
soldiers crucified Jesus. It was the priestly rulers and priestly
politicians of Jerusalem. I saw. I know. And against his own best
interests Pilate would have saved Jesus, as I would have, had it not
been that no other than Jesus himself willed that he was not to be
saved.
Yes, and Pilate had his last sneer at this people he detested. In
Hebrew, Greek, and Latin he had a writing affixed to Jesus’ cross which
read, “The King of the Jews.” In vain the priests complained. It was on
this very pretext that they had forced Pilate’s hand; and by this
pretext, a scorn and insult to the Jewish race, Pilate abided. Pilate
executed an abstraction that had never existed in the real. The
abstraction was a cheat and a lie manufactured in the priestly mind.
Neither the priests nor Pilate believed it. Jesus denied it. That
abstraction was “The King of the Jews.”
The storm was over in the courtyard. The excitement had simmered down.
Revolution had been averted. The priests were content, the mob was
satisfied, and Pilate and I were well disgusted and weary with the
whole affair. And yet for him and me was more and most immediate storm.
Before Jesus was taken away one of Miriam’s women called me to her. And
I saw Pilate, summoned by one of his wife’s women, likewise obey.
“Oh, Lodbrog, I have heard,” Miriam met me. We were alone, and she was
close to me, seeking shelter and strength within my arms. “Pilate has
weakened. He is going to crucify Him. But there is time. Your own men
are ready. Ride with them. Only a centurion and a handful of soldiers
are with Him. They have not yet started. As soon as they do start,
follow. They must not reach Golgotha. But wait until they are outside
the city wall. Then countermand the order. Take an extra horse for Him
to ride. The rest is easy. Ride away into Syria with Him, or into
Idumæa, or anywhere so long as He be saved.”
She concluded with her arms around my neck, her face upturned to mine
and temptingly close, her eyes greatly solemn and greatly promising.
Small wonder I was slow of speech. For the moment there was but one
thought in my brain. After all the strange play I had seen played out,
to have this come upon me! I did not misunderstand. The thing was
clear. A great woman was mine if . . . if I betrayed Rome. For Pilate
was governor, his order had gone forth; and his voice was the voice of
Rome.
As I have said, it was the woman of her, her sheer womanliness, that
betrayed Miriam and me in the end. Always she had been so clear, so
reasonable, so certain of herself and me, so that I had forgotten, or,
rather, I there learned once again the eternal lesson learned in all
lives, that woman is ever woman . . . that in great decisive moments
woman does not reason but feels; that the last sanctuary and innermost
pulse to conduct is in woman’s heart and not in woman’s head.
Miriam misunderstood my silence, for her body moved softly within my
arms as she added, as if in afterthought:
“Take two spare horses, Lodbrog. I shall ride the other . . . with you
. . . with you, away over the world, wherever you may ride.”
It was a bribe of kings; it was an act, paltry and contemptible, that
was demanded of me in return. Still I did not speak. It was not that I
was in confusion or in any doubt. I was merely sad—greatly and suddenly
sad, in that I knew I held in my arms what I would never hold again.
“There is but one man in Jerusalem this day who can save Him,” she
urged, “and that man is you, Lodbrog.”
Because I did not immediately reply she shook me, as if in impulse to
clarify wits she considered addled. She shook me till my harness
rattled.
“Speak, Lodbrog, speak!” she commanded. “You are strong and unafraid.
You are all man. I know you despise the vermin who would destroy Him.
You, you alone can save Him. You have but to say the word and the thing
is done; and I will well love you and always love you for the thing you
have done.”
“I am a Roman,” I said slowly, knowing full well that with the words I
gave up all hope of her.
“You are a man-slave of Tiberius, a hound of Rome,” she flamed, “but
you owe Rome nothing, for you are not a Roman. You yellow giants of the
north are not Romans.”
“The Romans are the elder brothers of us younglings of the north,” I
answered. “Also, I wear the harness and I eat the bread of Rome.”
Gently I added: “But why all this fuss and fury for a mere man’s life?
All men must die. Simple and easy it is to die. To-day, or a hundred
years, it little matters. Sure we are, all of us, of the same event in
the end.”
Quick she was, and alive with passion to save as she thrilled within my
arms.
“You do not understand, Lodbrog. This is no mere man. I tell you this
is a man beyond men—a living God, not of men, but over men.”
I held her closely and knew that I was renouncing all the sweet woman
of her as I said:
“We are man and woman, you and I. Our life is of this world. Of these
other worlds is all a madness. Let these mad dreamers go the way of
their dreaming. Deny them not what they desire above all things, above
meat and wine, above song and battle, even above love of woman. Deny
them not their hearts’ desires that draw them across the dark of the
grave to their dreams of lives beyond this world. Let them pass. But
you and I abide here in all the sweet we have discovered of each other.
Quickly enough will come the dark, and you depart for your coasts of
sun and flowers, and I for the roaring table of Valhalla.”
“No! no!” she cried, half-tearing herself away. “You do not understand.
All of greatness, all of goodness, all of God are in this man who is
more than man; and it is a shameful death to die. Only slaves and
thieves so die. He is neither slave nor thief. He is an immortal. He is
God. Truly I tell you He is God.”
“He is immortal you say,” I contended. “Then to die to-day on Golgotha
will not shorten his immortality by a hair’s breadth in the span of
time. He is a god you say. Gods cannot die. From all I have been told
of them, it is certain that gods cannot die.”
“Oh!” she cried. “You will not understand. You are only a great giant
thing of flesh.”
“Is it not said that this event was prophesied of old time?” I queried,
for I had been learning from the Jews what I deemed their subtleties of
thinking.
“Yes, yes,” she agreed, “the Messianic prophecies. This is the
Messiah.”
“Then who am I,” I asked, “to make liars of the prophets? to make of
the Messiah a false Messiah? Is the prophecy of your people so feeble a
thing that I, a stupid stranger, a yellow northling in the Roman
harness, can give the lie to prophecy and compel to be unfulfilled—the
very thing willed by the gods and foretold by the wise men?”
“You do not understand,” she repeated.
“I understand too well,” I replied. “Am I greater than the gods that I
may thwart the will of the gods? Then are gods vain things and the
playthings of men. I am a man. I, too, bow to the gods, to all gods,
for I do believe in all gods, else how came all gods to be?”
She flung herself so that my hungry arms were empty of her, and we
stood apart and listened to the uproar of the street as Jesus and the
soldiers emerged and started on their way. And my heart was sore in
that so great a woman could be so foolish. She would save God. She
would make herself greater than God.
“You do not love me,” she said slowly, and slowly grew in her eyes a
promise of herself too deep and wide for any words.
“I love you beyond your understanding, it seems,” was my reply. “I am
proud to love you, for I know I am worthy to love you and am worth all
love you may give me. But Rome is my foster-mother, and were I untrue
to her, of little pride, of little worth would be my love for you.”
The uproar that followed about Jesus and the soldiers died away along
the street. And when there was no further sound of it Miriam turned to
go, with neither word nor look for me.
I knew one last rush of mad hunger for her. I sprang and seized her. I
would horse her and ride away with her and my men into Syria away from
this cursed city of folly. She struggled. I crushed her. She struck me
on the face, and I continued to hold and crush her, for the blows were
sweet. And there she ceased to struggle. She became cold and
motionless, so that I knew there was no woman’s love that my arms
girdled. For me she was dead. Slowly I let go of her. Slowly she
stepped back. As if she did not see me she turned and went away across
the quiet room, and without looking back passed through the hangings
and was gone.
I, Ragnar Lodbrog, never came to read nor write. But in my days I have
listened to great talk. As I see it now, I never learned great talk,
such as that of the Jews, learned in their law, nor such as that of the
Romans, learned in their philosophy and in the philosophy of the
Greeks. Yet have I talked in simplicity and straightness, as a man may
well talk who has lived life from the ships of Tostig Lodbrog and the
roof of Brunanbuhr across the world to Jerusalem and back again. And
straight talk and simple I gave Sulpicius Quirinius, when I went away
into Syria to report to him of the various matters that had been at
issue in Jerusalem.