CHAPTER 8

A GAY CALL

I tell you what Ethel said Bernard Clark about a week later we might

go and pay a call on my pal the Earl of Clincham.

Oh do lets cried Ethel who was game for any new adventure I would

dearly love to meet his lordship.

Bernard gave a frown of jellousy at her rarther mere words.

Well dress in your best he muttered.

Ethel skipped into her bedroom and arrayd herself in a grass green

muslin of decent cut a lace scarf long faun colored kid gloves and a

muslin hat to correspond. She carried a parasole in one hand also a

green silk bag containing a few stray hair pins a clean handkerchief

five shillings and a pot of ruge in case. She looked a dainty vishen

[Pg 80] with her fair hair waving in the breeze and Bernard bit his lips

rarther hard for he could hardly contain himself and felt he must

marry Ethel soon. He looked a handsome sight himself in some exquisite

white trousers with a silk shirt and a pale blue blazer belt and cap.

He wore this in honour of the earl who had been to Cambridge in his

youth and so had Bernard Clark.

At last they found themselves in the entrance hall of the Crystale

palace and speedily made their way to the privite compartments. Edward

Procurio was walking up and down the passage looking dark and

mystearious as usual.

Is His Lordship at home cried Bernard Clark cheerily.

Which one asked Procurio many lords live here he said scornfully.

Well I mean the Earl of Clincham said Bernard.

Oh yes he is in responded Procurio and to the best of my belief giving

a party.

[Pg 81]

Indeed ejaculated Bernard we have come in the nick of time Ethel he

added. Yes said Ethel in an excited tone.

Then they pealed on the bell and the door flew open. Sounds of

laughter and comic songs issued from the abode and in a second they

were in the crowded drawing room. It was packed with all the Elite and

a stout duchess with a good natured face was singing a lively song and

causing much merriment. The earl strode forward at sight of two new

comers. Hullo Bernard old boy he cried this is a pleasure and who have

you got with you he added glancing at Ethel.

Oh this is Miss Monticue said Bernard shall I introduce you----

If you will be so good said the Earl in an affable tone and Bernard

hastily performed the right. Ethel began a bright conversatiun while

Bernard stroled off to see if he could find any friends amid the

throng.

[Pg 82]

What pleasant compartments you have cried Ethel in rarther a socierty

tone.

Fairly so so responded the Earl do you lire in London he added in a

loud tone as someone was playing a very difficult peice on the piano.

Well no I dont said Ethel my home is really in Northumberland but I am

at present stopping with Mr Clark at the Gaierty Hotel she continud in

a somewhat showing off tone.

Oh I see said the earl well shall I introduce you to a few of my

friends.

Of please do said Ethel with a dainty blow at her nose.

The earl disserppeard into the madding crowd and presently came back

with a middle aged gentleman. This is Lord Hyssops he said my friend

Miss Monticue he added genially.

Ethel turned a dull yellaw. Lord Hyssops she said in a faint voice why

it is Mr Salteena I know him well.

[Pg 83]

Hush cried the Earl it is a title bestowd recently by my friend the

Prince of Wales.

Yes indeed murmered Mr Salteena deeply flabbergasted by the ready wit

of the earl.

Oh indeed said Ethel in a peevish tone well how do you come to be

here.

I am stopping with his Lordship said Mr Salteena and have a set of

compartments in the basement so there.

I dont care said huffy Ethel I am in handsome rooms at the Gaierty.

Nothing could be nicer I am sure struck in the earl what do you say

Hyssops eh.

Doubtless it is charming said Mr Salteena who was wanting peace tell

me Ethel how did you leave Bernard.

I have not left him said Ethel in an annoying voice I am stopping with

him at the gaierty and we have been to lots of theaters and dances.

Well I am glad you are enjoying yourself said Mr Salteena kindly you

had been looking pale of late.

[Pg 84]

No wonder in your stuffy domain cried Ethel well have you got any more

friends she added turning to the earl.

Well I will see said the obliging earl and he once more disapeared.

I dont know why you should turn against me Ethel said Mr Salteena in a

low tone.

Ethel patted her hair and looked very sneery. Well I call it very

mystearious you going off and getting a title said Ethel and I think

our friendship had better stop as no doubt you will soon be marrying a

duchess or something.

Not at all said Mr Salteena you must know Ethel he said blushing a

deep red I always wished to marry you some fine day.

This is news to me cried Ethel still peevish.

But not to me murmered Mr Salteena and his voice trembled in his

chest. I may add that I have always loved you and now I seem to do so

madly he added passionately.

[Pg 85]

But I dont love you responded Ethel.

But if you married me you might get to said Mr Salteena.

I think not replied Ethel and all the same it is very kind of you to

ask me and she smiled more nicely at him.

This is agony cried Mr Salteena clutching hold of a table my life will

be sour grapes and ashes without you.

Be a man said Ethel in a gentle whisper and I shall always think of

you in a warm manner.

Well half a loaf is better than no bread responded Mr Salteena in a

gloomy voice and just then the earl reappeard with a very brisk lady

in a tight silk dress whose name was called Lady Gay Finchling and her

husband was a General but had been dead a few years. So this is Miss

Monticue she began in a rarther high voice. Oh yes said Ethel and Mr

Salteena wiped the foaming dew from his forehead. Little did Lady [Pg 86]

Gay Finchling guess she had just disturbed a proposal of marrage.

The Earl chimed into the conversation now and again and Lady Gay

Finchling told several rarther witty stories to enliven the party.

Then Bernard Clark came up and said they had better be going.

Well goodbye Clincham he said I must say I have enjoyed this party

most rechauffie I call it dont you Ethel.

Most cried Ethel I suppose you often come she added in a tone of envy

to Lady Gay Finchling.

Pretty often said Lady G. F. well goodbye as I see you are in a hurry

to be off and she dashed off towards the refreshment place.

Goodbye Ethel said poor Mr Salteena in a spasam and he seized hold of

her hand you will one day rue your wicked words farewell he repeated

emphatically.

Oh well goodbye said Ethel in a vage tone and then turning to the earl

she said [Pg 87] I have enjoyed myself very much thankyou.

Please dont mention it cried the earl well goodbye Bernard he added I

shall look you up some day at your hotel.

Yes do muttered Bernard always welcome Clincham old boy he added

placing his blue crickit cap on his head and so saying he and Ethel

left the gay scene and once more oozed fourth into the streets of

London.

[Pg 88]