book in his hand. He reads from right to left inaudibly, smiling,

kissing the page.)_

BLOOM: _(Wonderstruck, calls inaudibly.)_ Rudy!

RUDY: _(Gazes, unseeing, into Bloom’s eyes and goes on reading,

kissing, smiling. He has a delicate mauve face. On his suit he has

diamond and ruby buttons. In his free left hand he holds a slim ivory

cane with a violet bowknot. A white lambkin peeps out of his waistcoat

pocket.)_

— III —

[ 16 ]

Preparatory to anything else Mr Bloom brushed off the greater bulk of

the shavings and handed Stephen the hat and ashplant and bucked him up

generally in orthodox Samaritan fashion which he very badly needed. His

(Stephen’s) mind was not exactly what you would call wandering but a

bit unsteady and on his expressed desire for some beverage to drink Mr

Bloom in view of the hour it was and there being no pump of Vartry

water available for their ablutions let alone drinking purposes hit

upon an expedient by suggesting, off the reel, the propriety of the

cabman’s shelter, as it was called, hardly a stonesthrow away near Butt

bridge where they might hit upon some drinkables in the shape of a milk

and soda or a mineral. But how to get there was the rub. For the nonce

he was rather nonplussed but inasmuch as the duty plainly devolved upon

him to take some measures on the subject he pondered suitable ways and

means during which Stephen repeatedly yawned. So far as he could see he

was rather pale in the face so that it occurred to him as highly

advisable to get a conveyance of some description which would answer in

their then condition, both of them being e.d.ed, particularly Stephen,

always assuming that there was such a thing to be found. Accordingly

after a few such preliminaries as brushing, in spite of his having

forgotten to take up his rather soapsuddy handkerchief after it had

done yeoman service in the shaving line, they both walked together

along Beaver street or, more properly, lane as far as the farrier’s and

the distinctly fetid atmosphere of the livery stables at the corner of

Montgomery street where they made tracks to the left from thence

debouching into Amiens street round by the corner of Dan Bergin’s. But

as he confidently anticipated there was not a sign of a Jehu plying for

hire anywhere to be seen except a fourwheeler, probably engaged by some

fellows inside on the spree, outside the North Star hotel and there was

no symptom of its budging a quarter of an inch when Mr Bloom, who was

anything but a professional whistler, endeavoured to hail it by

emitting a kind of a whistle, holding his arms arched over his head,

twice.

This was a quandary but, bringing common sense to bear on it, evidently

there was nothing for it but put a good face on the matter and foot it

which they accordingly did. So, bevelling around by Mullett’s and the

Signal House which they shortly reached, they proceeded perforce in the

direction of Amiens street railway terminus, Mr Bloom being handicapped

by the circumstance that one of the back buttons of his trousers had,

to vary the timehonoured adage, gone the way of all buttons though,

entering thoroughly into the spirit of the thing, he heroically made

light of the mischance. So as neither of them were particularly pressed

for time, as it happened, and the temperature refreshing since it

cleared up after the recent visitation of Jupiter Pluvius, they

dandered along past by where the empty vehicle was waiting without a

fare or a jarvey. As it so happened a Dublin United Tramways Company’s

sandstrewer happened to be returning and the elder man recounted to his

companion _à propos_ of the incident his own truly miraculous escape of

some little while back. They passed the main entrance of the Great

Northern railway station, the starting point for Belfast, where of

course all traffic was suspended at that late hour and passing the

backdoor of the morgue (a not very enticing locality, not to say

gruesome to a degree, more especially at night) ultimately gained the

Dock Tavern and in due course turned into Store street, famous for its

C division police station. Between this point and the high at present

unlit warehouses of Beresford place Stephen thought to think of Ibsen,

associated with Baird’s the stonecutter’s in his mind somehow in Talbot

place, first turning on the right, while the other who was acting as

his _fidus Achates_ inhaled with internal satisfaction the smell of

James Rourke’s city bakery, situated quite close to where they were,

the very palatable odour indeed of our daily bread, of all commodities

of the public the primary and most indispensable. Bread, the staff of

life, earn your bread, O tell me where is fancy bread, at Rourke’s the

baker’s it is said.

_En route_ to his taciturn and, not to put too fine a point on it, not

yet perfectly sober companion Mr Bloom who at all events was in

complete possession of his faculties, never more so, in fact

disgustingly sober, spoke a word of caution _re_ the dangers of

nighttown, women of ill fame and swell mobsmen, which, barely

permissible once in a while though not as a habitual practice, was of

the nature of a regular deathtrap for young fellows of his age

particularly if they had acquired drinking habits under the influence

of liquor unless you knew a little jiujitsu for every contingency as

even a fellow on the broad of his back could administer a nasty kick if

you didn’t look out. Highly providential was the appearance on the

scene of Corny Kelleher when Stephen was blissfully unconscious but for

that man in the gap turning up at the eleventh hour the finis might

have been that he might have been a candidate for the accident ward or,

failing that, the bridewell and an appearance in the court next day

before Mr Tobias or, he being the solicitor rather, old Wall, he meant

to say, or Mahony which simply spelt ruin for a chap when it got

bruited about. The reason he mentioned the fact was that a lot of those

policemen, whom he cordially disliked, were admittedly unscrupulous in

the service of the Crown and, as Mr Bloom put it, recalling a case or

two in the A division in Clanbrassil street, prepared to swear a hole

through a ten gallon pot. Never on the spot when wanted but in quiet

parts of the city, Pembroke road for example, the guardians of the law

were well in evidence, the obvious reason being they were paid to

protect the upper classes. Another thing he commented on was equipping

soldiers with firearms or sidearms of any description liable to go off

at any time which was tantamount to inciting them against civilians

should by any chance they fall out over anything. You frittered away

your time, he very sensibly maintained, and health and also character

besides which, the squandermania of the thing, fast women of the

_demimonde_ ran away with a lot of £. s. d. into the bargain and the

greatest danger of all was who you got drunk with though, touching the

much vexed question of stimulants, he relished a glass of choice old

wine in season as both nourishing and bloodmaking and possessing

aperient virtues (notably a good burgundy which he was a staunch

believer in) still never beyond a certain point where he invariably

drew the line as it simply led to trouble all round to say nothing of

your being at the tender mercy of others practically. Most of all he

commented adversely on the desertion of Stephen by all his pubhunting

_confrères_ but one, a most glaring piece of ratting on the part of his

brother medicos under all the circs.

—And that one was Judas, Stephen said, who up to then had said nothing

whatsoever of any kind.

Discussing these and kindred topics they made a beeline across the back

of the Customhouse and passed under the Loop Line bridge where a

brazier of coke burning in front of a sentrybox or something like one

attracted their rather lagging footsteps. Stephen of his own accord

stopped for no special reason to look at the heap of barren

cobblestones and by the light emanating from the brazier he could just

make out the darker figure of the corporation watchman inside the gloom

of the sentrybox. He began to remember that this had happened or had

been mentioned as having happened before but it cost him no small

effort before he remembered that he recognised in the sentry a

_quondam_ friend of his father’s, Gumley. To avoid a meeting he drew

nearer to the pillars of the railway bridge.

—Someone saluted you, Mr Bloom said.

A figure of middle height on the prowl evidently under the arches

saluted again, calling:

—Night!

Stephen of course started rather dizzily and stopped to return the

compliment. Mr Bloom actuated by motives of inherent delicacy inasmuch

as he always believed in minding his own business moved off but

nevertheless remained on the _qui vive_ with just a shade of anxiety

though not funkyish in the least. Though unusual in the Dublin area he

knew that it was not by any means unknown for desperadoes who had next

to nothing to live on to be abroad waylaying and generally terrorising

peaceable pedestrians by placing a pistol at their head in some

secluded spot outside the city proper, famished loiterers of the Thames

embankment category they might be hanging about there or simply

marauders ready to decamp with whatever boodle they could in one fell

swoop at a moment’s notice, your money or your life, leaving you there

to point a moral, gagged and garrotted.

Stephen, that is when the accosting figure came to close quarters,

though he was not in an over sober state himself recognised Corley’s

breath redolent of rotten cornjuice. Lord John Corley some called him

and his genealogy came about in this wise. He was the eldest son of

inspector Corley of the G division, lately deceased, who had married a

certain Katherine Brophy, the daughter of a Louth farmer. His

grandfather Patrick Michael Corley of New Ross had married the widow of

a publican there whose maiden name had been Katherine (also) Talbot.

Rumour had it (though not proved) that she descended from the house of

the lords Talbot de Malahide in whose mansion, really an unquestionably

fine residence of its kind and well worth seeing, her mother or aunt or

some relative, a woman, as the tale went, of extreme beauty, had

enjoyed the distinction of being in service in the washkitchen. This

therefore was the reason why the still comparatively young though

dissolute man who now addressed Stephen was spoken of by some with

facetious proclivities as Lord John Corley.

Taking Stephen on one side he had the customary doleful ditty to tell.

Not as much as a farthing to purchase a night’s lodgings. His friends

had all deserted him. Furthermore he had a row with Lenehan and called

him to Stephen a mean bloody swab with a sprinkling of a number of

other uncalledfor expressions. He was out of a job and implored of

Stephen to tell him where on God’s earth he could get something,

anything at all, to do. No, it was the daughter of the mother in the

washkitchen that was fostersister to the heir of the house or else they

were connected through the mother in some way, both occurrences

happening at the same time if the whole thing wasn’t a complete

fabrication from start to finish. Anyhow he was all in.

—I wouldn’t ask you only, pursued he, on my solemn oath and God knows

I’m on the rocks.

—There’ll be a job tomorrow or next day, Stephen told him, in a boys’

school at Dalkey for a gentleman usher. Mr Garrett Deasy. Try it. You

may mention my name.

—Ah, God, Corley replied, sure I couldn’t teach in a school, man. I was

never one of your bright ones, he added with a half laugh. I got stuck

twice in the junior at the christian brothers.

—I have no place to sleep myself, Stephen informed him.

Corley at the first go-off was inclined to suspect it was something to

do with Stephen being fired out of his digs for bringing in a bloody

tart off the street. There was a dosshouse in Marlborough street, Mrs

Maloney’s, but it was only a tanner touch and full of undesirables but

M’Conachie told him you got a decent enough do in the Brazen Head over

in Winetavern street (which was distantly suggestive to the person

addressed of friar Bacon) for a bob. He was starving too though he

hadn’t said a word about it.

Though this sort of thing went on every other night or very near it

still Stephen’s feelings got the better of him in a sense though he

knew that Corley’s brandnew rigmarole on a par with the others was

hardly deserving of much credence. However _haud ignarus malorum

miseris succurrere disco etcetera_ as the Latin poet remarks especially

as luck would have it he got paid his screw after every middle of the

month on the sixteenth which was the date of the month as a matter of

fact though a good bit of the wherewithal was demolished. But the cream

of the joke was nothing would get it out of Corley’s head that he was

living in affluence and hadn’t a thing to do but hand out the needful.

Whereas. He put his hand in a pocket anyhow not with the idea of

finding any food there but thinking he might lend him anything up to a

bob or so in lieu so that he might endeavour at all events and get

sufficient to eat but the result was in the negative for, to his

chagrin, he found his cash missing. A few broken biscuits were all the

result of his investigation. He tried his hardest to recollect for the

moment whether he had lost as well he might have or left because in

that contingency it was not a pleasant lookout, very much the reverse

in fact. He was altogether too fagged out to institute a thorough

search though he tried to recollect. About biscuits he dimly

remembered. Who now exactly gave them he wondered or where was or did

he buy. However in another pocket he came across what he surmised in

the dark were pennies, erroneously however, as it turned out.

—Those are halfcrowns, man, Corley corrected him.

And so in point of fact they turned out to be. Stephen anyhow lent him

one of them.

—Thanks, Corley answered, you’re a gentleman. I’ll pay you back one

time. Who’s that with you? I saw him a few times in the Bleeding Horse

in Camden street with Boylan, the billsticker. You might put in a good

word for us to get me taken on there. I’d carry a sandwichboard only

the girl in the office told me they’re full up for the next three

weeks, man. God, you’ve to book ahead, man, you’d think it was for the

Carl Rosa. I don’t give a shite anyway so long as I get a job, even as

a crossing sweeper.

Subsequently being not quite so down in the mouth after the two and six

he got he informed Stephen about a fellow by the name of Bags Comisky

that he said Stephen knew well out of Fullam’s, the shipchandler’s,

bookkeeper there that used to be often round in Nagle’s back with

O’Mara and a little chap with a stutter the name of Tighe. Anyhow he

was lagged the night before last and fined ten bob for a drunk and

disorderly and refusing to go with the constable.

Mr Bloom in the meanwhile kept dodging about in the vicinity of the

cobblestones near the brazier of coke in front of the corporation

watchman’s sentrybox who evidently a glutton for work, it struck him,

was having a quiet forty winks for all intents and purposes on his own

private account while Dublin slept. He threw an odd eye at the same

time now and then at Stephen’s anything but immaculately attired

interlocutor as if he had seen that nobleman somewhere or other though

where he was not in a position to truthfully state nor had he the

remotest idea when. Being a levelheaded individual who could give

points to not a few in point of shrewd observation he also remarked on

his very dilapidated hat and slouchy wearing apparel generally

testifying to a chronic impecuniosity. Palpably he was one of his

hangerson but for the matter of that it was merely a question of one

preying on his nextdoor neighbour all round, in every deep, so to put

it, a deeper depth and for the matter of that if the man in the street

chanced to be in the dock himself penal servitude with or without the

option of a fine would be a very _rara avis_ altogether. In any case he

had a consummate amount of cool assurance intercepting people at that

hour of the night or morning. Pretty thick that was certainly.

The pair parted company and Stephen rejoined Mr Bloom who, with his

practised eye, was not without perceiving that he had succumbed to the

blandiloquence of the other parasite. Alluding to the encounter he

said, laughingly, Stephen, that is:

—He is down on his luck. He asked me to ask you to ask somebody named

Boylan, a billsticker, to give him a job as a sandwichman.

At this intelligence, in which he seemingly evinced little interest, Mr

Bloom gazed abstractedly for the space of a half a second or so in the

direction of a bucketdredger, rejoicing in the farfamed name of Eblana,

moored alongside Customhouse quay and quite possibly out of repair,

whereupon he observed evasively:

—Everybody gets their own ration of luck, they say. Now you mention it

his face was familiar to me. But, leaving that for the moment, how much

did you part with, he queried, if I am not too inquisitive?

—Half a crown, Stephen responded. I daresay he needs it to sleep

somewhere.

—Needs! Mr Bloom ejaculated, professing not the least surprise at the

intelligence, I can quite credit the assertion and I guarantee he

invariably does. Everyone according to his needs or everyone according

to his deeds. But, talking about things in general, where, added he

with a smile, will you sleep yourself? Walking to Sandycove is out of

the question. And even supposing you did you won’t get in after what

occurred at Westland Row station. Simply fag out there for nothing. I

don’t mean to presume to dictate to you in the slightest degree but why

did you leave your father’s house?

—To seek misfortune, was Stephen’s answer.

—I met your respected father on a recent occasion, Mr Bloom

diplomatically returned, today in fact, or to be strictly accurate, on

yesterday. Where does he live at present? I gathered in the course of

conversation that he had moved.

—I believe he is in Dublin somewhere, Stephen answered unconcernedly.

Why?

—A gifted man, Mr Bloom said of Mr Dedalus senior, in more respects

than one and a born _raconteur_ if ever there was one. He takes great

pride, quite legitimate, out of you. You could go back perhaps, he

hasarded, still thinking of the very unpleasant scene at Westland Row

terminus when it was perfectly evident that the other two, Mulligan,

that is, and that English tourist friend of his, who eventually euchred

their third companion, were patently trying as if the whole bally

station belonged to them to give Stephen the slip in the confusion,

which they did.

There was no response forthcoming to the suggestion however, such as it

was, Stephen’s mind’s eye being too busily engaged in repicturing his

family hearth the last time he saw it with his sister Dilly sitting by

the ingle, her hair hanging down, waiting for some weak Trinidad shell

cocoa that was in the sootcoated kettle to be done so that she and he

could drink it with the oatmealwater for milk after the Friday herrings

they had eaten at two a penny with an egg apiece for Maggy, Boody and

Katey, the cat meanwhile under the mangle devouring a mess of eggshells

and charred fish heads and bones on a square of brown paper, in

accordance with the third precept of the church to fast and abstain on

the days commanded, it being quarter tense or if not, ember days or

something like that.

—No, Mr Bloom repeated again, I wouldn’t personally repose much trust

in that boon companion of yours who contributes the humorous element,

Dr Mulligan, as a guide, philosopher and friend if I were in your

shoes. He knows which side his bread is buttered on though in all

probability he never realised what it is to be without regular meals.

Of course you didn’t notice as much as I did. But it wouldn’t occasion

me the least surprise to learn that a pinch of tobacco or some narcotic

was put in your drink for some ulterior object.

He understood however from all he heard that Dr Mulligan was a

versatile allround man, by no means confined to medicine only, who was

rapidly coming to the fore in his line and, if the report was verified,

bade fair to enjoy a flourishing practice in the not too distant future

as a tony medical practitioner drawing a handsome fee for his services

in addition to which professional status his rescue of that man from

certain drowning by artificial respiration and what they call first aid

at Skerries, or Malahide was it?, was, he was bound to admit, an

exceedingly plucky deed which he could not too highly praise, so that

frankly he was utterly at a loss to fathom what earthly reason could be

at the back of it except he put it down to sheer cussedness or

jealousy, pure and simple.

—Except it simply amounts to one thing and he is what they call picking

your brains, he ventured to throw out.

The guarded glance of half solicitude half curiosity augmented by

friendliness which he gave at Stephen’s at present morose expression of

features did not throw a flood of light, none at all in fact on the

problem as to whether he had let himself be badly bamboozled to judge

by two or three lowspirited remarks he let drop or the other way about

saw through the affair and for some reason or other best known to

himself allowed matters to more or less. Grinding poverty did have that

effect and he more than conjectured that, high educational abilities

though he possessed, he experienced no little difficulty in making both

ends meet.

Adjacent to the men’s public urinal they perceived an icecream car

round which a group of presumably Italians in heated altercation were

getting rid of voluble expressions in their vivacious language in a

particularly animated way, there being some little differences between

the parties.

—_Puttana madonna, che ci dia i quattrini! Ho ragione? Culo rotto!_

_—Intendiamoci. Mezzo sovrano più..._

_—Dice lui, però!_

_—Mezzo._

_—Farabutto! Mortacci sui!_

_—Ma ascolta! Cinque la testa più..._

Mr Bloom and Stephen entered the cabman’s shelter, an unpretentious

wooden structure, where, prior to then, he had rarely if ever been

before, the former having previously whispered to the latter a few

hints anent the keeper of it said to be the once famous Skin-the-Goat

Fitzharris, the invincible, though he could not vouch for the actual

facts which quite possibly there was not one vestige of truth in. A few

moments later saw our two noctambules safely seated in a discreet

corner only to be greeted by stares from the decidedly miscellaneous

collection of waifs and strays and other nondescript specimens of the

genus _homo_ already there engaged in eating and drinking diversified

by conversation for whom they seemingly formed an object of marked

curiosity.

—Now touching a cup of coffee, Mr Bloom ventured to plausibly suggest

to break the ice, it occurs to me you ought to sample something in the

shape of solid food, say, a roll of some description.

Accordingly his first act was with characteristic _sangfroid_ to order

these commodities quietly. The _hoi polloi_ of jarvies or stevedores or

whatever they were after a cursory examination turned their eyes

apparently dissatisfied, away though one redbearded bibulous

individual, portion of whose hair was greyish, a sailor probably, still

stared for some appreciable time before transferring his rapt attention

to the floor. Mr Bloom, availing himself of the right of free speech,

he having just a bowing acquaintance with the language in dispute,

though, to be sure, rather in a quandary over _voglio_, remarked to his

_protégé_ in an audible tone of voice _à propos_ of the battle royal in

the street which was still raging fast and furious:

—A beautiful language. I mean for singing purposes. Why do you not

write your poetry in that language? _Bella Poetria_! It is so melodious

and full. _Belladonna. Voglio._

Stephen, who was trying his dead best to yawn if he could, suffering

from lassitude generally, replied:

—To fill the ear of a cow elephant. They were haggling over money.

—Is that so? Mr Bloom asked. Of course, he subjoined pensively, at the

inward reflection of there being more languages to start with than were

absolutely necessary, it may be only the southern glamour that

surrounds it.

The keeper of the shelter in the middle of this _tête-à-tête_ put a

boiling swimming cup of a choice concoction labelled coffee on the

table and a rather antediluvian specimen of a bun, or so it seemed.

After which he beat a retreat to his counter, Mr Bloom determining to

have a good square look at him later on so as not to appear to. For

which reason he encouraged Stephen to proceed with his eyes while he

did the honours by surreptitiously pushing the cup of what was

temporarily supposed to be called coffee gradually nearer him.

—Sounds are impostures, Stephen said after a pause of some little time,

like names. Cicero, Podmore, Napoleon, Mr Goodbody. Jesus, Mr Doyle.

Shakespeares were as common as Murphies. What’s in a name?

—Yes, to be sure, Mr Bloom unaffectedly concurred. Of course. Our name

was changed too, he added, pushing the socalled roll across.

The redbearded sailor who had his weather eye on the newcomers boarded

Stephen, whom he had singled out for attention in particular, squarely

by asking:

—And what might your name be?

Just in the nick of time Mr Bloom touched his companion’s boot but

Stephen, apparently disregarding the warm pressure from an unexpected

quarter, answered:

—Dedalus.

The sailor stared at him heavily from a pair of drowsy baggy eyes,

rather bunged up from excessive use of boose, preferably good old

Hollands and water.

—You know Simon Dedalus? he asked at length.

—I’ve heard of him, Stephen said.

Mr Bloom was all at sea for a moment, seeing the others evidently

eavesdropping too.

—He’s Irish, the seaman bold affirmed, staring still in much the same

way and nodding. All Irish.

—All too Irish, Stephen rejoined.

As for Mr Bloom he could neither make head or tail of the whole

business and he was just asking himself what possible connection when

the sailor of his own accord turned to the other occupants of the

shelter with the remark:

—I seen him shoot two eggs off two bottles at fifty yards over his

shoulder. The lefthand dead shot.

Though he was slightly hampered by an occasional stammer and his

gestures being also clumsy as it was still he did his best to explain.

—Bottles out there, say. Fifty yards measured. Eggs on the bottles.

Cocks his gun over his shoulder. Aims.

He turned his body half round, shut up his right eye completely. Then

he screwed his features up someway sideways and glared out into the

night with an unprepossessing cast of countenance.

—Pom! he then shouted once.

The entire audience waited, anticipating an additional detonation,

there being still a further egg.

—Pom! he shouted twice.

Egg two evidently demolished, he nodded and winked, adding

bloodthirstily:

_—Buffalo Bill shoots to kill,

Never missed nor he never will._

A silence ensued till Mr Bloom for agreeableness’ sake just felt like

asking him whether it was for a marksmanship competition like the

Bisley.

—Beg pardon, the sailor said.

—Long ago? Mr Bloom pursued without flinching a hairsbreadth.

—Why, the sailor replied, relaxing to a certain extent under the magic

influence of diamond cut diamond, it might be a matter of ten years. He

toured the wide world with Hengler’s Royal Circus. I seen him do that

in Stockholm.

—Curious coincidence, Mr Bloom confided to Stephen unobtrusively.

—Murphy’s my name, the sailor continued. D. B. Murphy of Carrigaloe.

Know where that is?

—Queenstown harbour, Stephen replied.

—That’s right, the sailor said. Fort Camden and Fort Carlisle. That’s

where I hails from. I belongs there. That’s where I hails from. My

little woman’s down there. She’s waiting for me, I know. _For England,

home and beauty_. She’s my own true wife I haven’t seen for seven years

now, sailing about.

Mr Bloom could easily picture his advent on this scene, the homecoming

to the mariner’s roadside shieling after having diddled Davy Jones, a

rainy night with a blind moon. Across the world for a wife. Quite a

number of stories there were on that particular Alice Ben Bolt topic,

Enoch Arden and Rip van Winkle and does anybody hereabouts remember

Caoc O’Leary, a favourite and most trying declamation piece by the way

of poor John Casey and a bit of perfect poetry in its own small way.

Never about the runaway wife coming back, however much devoted to the

absentee. The face at the window! Judge of his astonishment when he

finally did breast the tape and the awful truth dawned upon him anent

his better half, wrecked in his affections. You little expected me but

I’ve come to stay and make a fresh start. There she sits, a grasswidow,

at the selfsame fireside. Believes me dead, rocked in the cradle of the

deep. And there sits uncle Chubb or Tomkin, as the case might be, the

publican of the Crown and Anchor, in shirtsleeves, eating rumpsteak and

onions. No chair for father. Broo! The wind! Her brandnew arrival is on

her knee, _post mortem_ child. With a high ro! and a randy ro! and my

galloping tearing tandy, O! Bow to the inevitable. Grin and bear it. I

remain with much love your brokenhearted husband W. B. Murphy.

The sailor, who scarcely seemed to be a Dublin resident, turned to one

of the jarvies with the request:

—You don’t happen to have such a thing as a spare chaw about you?

The jarvey addressed as it happened had not but the keeper took a die

of plug from his good jacket hanging on a nail and the desired object

was passed from hand to hand.

—Thank you, the sailor said.

He deposited the quid in his gob and, chewing and with some slow

stammers, proceeded:

—We come up this morning eleven o’clock. The threemaster _Rosevean_

from Bridgwater with bricks. I shipped to get over. Paid off this

afternoon. There’s my discharge. See? D. B. Murphy. A. B. S.

In confirmation of which statement he extricated from an inside pocket

and handed to his neighbour a not very cleanlooking folded document.

—You must have seen a fair share of the world, the keeper remarked,

leaning on the counter.

—Why, the sailor answered upon reflection upon it, I’ve circumnavigated

a bit since I first joined on. I was in the Red Sea. I was in China and

North America and South America. We was chased by pirates one voyage. I

seen icebergs plenty, growlers. I was in Stockholm and the Black Sea,

the Dardanelles under Captain Dalton, the best bloody man that ever

scuttled a ship. I seen Russia. _Gospodi pomilyou_. That’s how the

Russians prays.

—You seen queer sights, don’t be talking, put in a jarvey.

—Why, the sailor said, shifting his partially chewed plug. I seen queer

things too, ups and downs. I seen a crocodile bite the fluke of an

anchor same as I chew that quid.

He took out of his mouth the pulpy quid and, lodging it between his

teeth, bit ferociously:

—Khaan! Like that. And I seen maneaters in Peru that eats corpses and

the livers of horses. Look here. Here they are. A friend of mine sent

me.

He fumbled out a picture postcard from his inside pocket which seemed

to be in its way a species of repository and pushed it along the table.

The printed matter on it stated: _Choza de Indios. Beni, Bolivia._

All focussed their attention at the scene exhibited, a group of savage

women in striped loincloths, squatted, blinking, suckling, frowning,

sleeping amid a swarm of infants (there must have been quite a score of

them) outside some primitive shanties of osier.

—Chews coca all day, the communicative tarpaulin added. Stomachs like

breadgraters. Cuts off their diddies when they can’t bear no more

children.

See them sitting there stark ballocknaked eating a dead horse’s liver

raw.

His postcard proved a centre of attraction for Messrs the greenhorns

for several minutes if not more.

—Know how to keep them off? he inquired generally.

Nobody volunteering a statement he winked, saying:

—Glass. That boggles ’em. Glass.

Mr Bloom, without evincing surprise, unostentatiously turned over the

card to peruse the partially obliterated address and postmark. It ran

as follows: _Tarjeta Postal, Señor A Boudin, Galeria Becche, Santiago,

Chile._ There was no message evidently, as he took particular notice.

Though not an implicit believer in the lurid story narrated (or the

eggsniping transaction for that matter despite William Tell and the

Lazarillo-Don Cesar de Bazan incident depicted in _Maritana_ on which

occasion the former’s ball passed through the latter’s hat) having

detected a discrepancy between his name (assuming he was the person he

represented himself to be and not sailing under false colours after

having boxed the compass on the strict q.t. somewhere) and the

fictitious addressee of the missive which made him nourish some

suspicions of our friend’s _bona fides_ nevertheless it reminded him in

a way of a longcherished plan he meant to one day realise some

Wednesday or Saturday of travelling to London _via_ long sea not to say

that he had ever travelled extensively to any great extent but he was

at heart a born adventurer though by a trick of fate he had

consistently remained a landlubber except you call going to Holyhead

which was his longest. Martin Cunningham frequently said he would work

a pass through Egan but some deuced hitch or other eternally cropped up

with the net result that the scheme fell through. But even suppose it

did come to planking down the needful and breaking Boyd’s heart it was

not so dear, purse permitting, a few guineas at the outside considering

the fare to Mullingar where he figured on going was five and six, there

and back. The trip would benefit health on account of the bracing ozone

and be in every way thoroughly pleasurable, especially for a chap whose

liver was out of order, seeing the different places along the route,

Plymouth, Falmouth, Southampton and so on culminating in an instructive

tour of the sights of the great metropolis, the spectacle of our modern

Babylon where doubtless he would see the greatest improvement, tower,

abbey, wealth of Park lane to renew acquaintance with. Another thing

just struck him as a by no means bad notion was he might have a gaze

around on the spot to see about trying to make arrangements about a

concert tour of summer music embracing the most prominent pleasure

resorts, Margate with mixed bathing and firstrate hydros and spas,

Eastbourne, Scarborough, Margate and so on, beautiful Bournemouth, the

Channel islands and similar bijou spots, which might prove highly

remunerative. Not, of course, with a hole and corner scratch company or

local ladies on the job, witness Mrs C P M’Coy type lend me your valise

and I’ll post you the ticket. No, something top notch, an all star

Irish caste, the Tweedy-Flower grand opera company with his own legal

consort as leading lady as a sort of counterblast to the Elster Grimes

and Moody-Manners, perfectly simple matter and he was quite sanguine of

success, providing puffs in the local papers could be managed by some

fellow with a bit of bounce who could pull the indispensable wires and

thus combine business with pleasure. But who? That was the rub.

Also, without being actually positive, it struck him a great field was

to be opened up in the line of opening up new routes to keep pace with

the times _apropos_ of the Fishguard-Rosslare route which, it was

mooted, was once more on the _tapis_ in the circumlocution departments

with the usual quantity of red tape and dillydallying of effete

fogeydom and dunderheads generally. A great opportunity there certainly

was for push and enterprise to meet the travelling needs of the public

at large, the average man, i.e. Brown, Robinson and Co.

It was a subject of regret and absurd as well on the face of it and no

small blame to our vaunted society that the man in the street, when the

system really needed toning up, for the matter of a couple of paltry

pounds was debarred from seeing more of the world they lived in instead

of being always and ever cooped up since my old stick-in-the-mud took

me for a wife. After all, hang it, they had their eleven and more

humdrum months of it and merited a radical change of _venue_ after the

grind of city life in the summertime for choice when dame Nature is at

her spectacular best constituting nothing short of a new lease of life.

There were equally excellent opportunities for vacationists in the home

island, delightful sylvan spots for rejuvenation, offering a plethora

of attractions as well as a bracing tonic for the system in and around

Dublin and its picturesque environs even, Poulaphouca to which there

was a steamtram, but also farther away from the madding crowd in

Wicklow, rightly termed the garden of Ireland, an ideal neighbourhood

for elderly wheelmen so long as it didn’t come down, and in the wilds

of Donegal where if report spoke true the _coup d’œil_ was exceedingly

grand though the lastnamed locality was not easily getatable so that

the influx of visitors was not as yet all that it might be considering

the signal benefits to be derived from it while Howth with its historic

associations and otherwise, Silken Thomas, Grace O’Malley, George IV,

rhododendrons several hundred feet above sealevel was a favourite haunt

with all sorts and conditions of men especially in the spring when

young men’s fancy, though it had its own toll of deaths by falling off

the cliffs by design or accidentally, usually, by the way, on their

left leg, it being only about three quarters of an hour’s run from the

pillar. Because of course uptodate tourist travelling was as yet merely

in its infancy, so to speak, and the accommodation left much to be

desired. Interesting to fathom it seemed to him from a motive of

curiosity, pure and simple, was whether it was the traffic that created

the route or viceversa or the two sides in fact. He turned back the

other side of the card, picture, and passed it along to Stephen.

—I seen a Chinese one time, related the doughty narrator, that had

little pills like putty and he put them in the water and they opened

and every pill was something different. One was a ship, another was a

house, another was a flower. Cooks rats in your soup, he appetisingly

added, the chinks does.

Possibly perceiving an expression of dubiosity on their faces the

globetrotter went on, adhering to his adventures.

—And I seen a man killed in Trieste by an Italian chap. Knife in his

back. Knife like that.

Whilst speaking he produced a dangerouslooking claspknife quite in

keeping with his character and held it in the striking position.

—In a knockingshop it was count of a tryon between two smugglers.

Fellow hid behind a door, come up behind him. Like that. _Prepare to

meet your God_, says he. Chuk! It went into his back up to the butt.

His heavy glance drowsily roaming about kind of defied their further

questions even should they by any chance want to.

—That’s a good bit of steel, repeated he, examining his formidable

_stiletto_.

After which harrowing _dénouement_ sufficient to appal the stoutest he

snapped the blade to and stowed the weapon in question away as before

in his chamber of horrors, otherwise pocket.

—They’re great for the cold steel, somebody who was evidently quite in

the dark said for the benefit of them all. That was why they thought

the park murders of the invincibles was done by foreigners on account

of them using knives.

At this remark passed obviously in the spirit of _where ignorance is

bliss_ Mr B. and Stephen, each in his own particular way, both

instinctively exchanged meaning glances, in a religious silence of the

strictly _entre nous_ variety however, towards where Skin-the-Goat,

_alias_ the keeper, not turning a hair, was drawing spurts of liquid

from his boiler affair. His inscrutable face which was really a work of

art, a perfect study in itself, beggaring description, conveyed the

impression that he didn’t understand one jot of what was going on.

Funny, very!

There ensued a somewhat lengthy pause. One man was reading in fits and

starts a stained by coffee evening journal, another the card with the

natives _choza de_, another the seaman’s discharge. Mr Bloom, so far as

he was personally concerned, was just pondering in pensive mood. He

vividly recollected when the occurrence alluded to took place as well

as yesterday, roughly some score of years previously in the days of the

land troubles, when it took the civilised world by storm, figuratively

speaking, early in the eighties, eightyone to be correct, when he was

just turned fifteen.

—Ay, boss, the sailor broke in. Give us back them papers.

The request being complied with he clawed them up with a scrape.

—Have you seen the rock of Gibraltar? Mr Bloom inquired.

The sailor grimaced, chewing, in a way that might be read as yes, ay or

no.

—Ah, you’ve touched there too, Mr Bloom said, Europa point, thinking he

had, in the hope that the rover might possibly by some reminiscences

but he failed to do so, simply letting spirt a jet of spew into the

sawdust, and shook his head with a sort of lazy scorn.

—What year would that be about? Mr B interrogated. Can you recall the

boats?

Our _soi-disant_ sailor munched heavily awhile hungrily before

answering:

—I’m tired of all them rocks in the sea, he said, and boats and ships.

Salt junk all the time.

Tired seemingly, he ceased. His questioner perceiving that he was not

likely to get a great deal of change out of such a wily old customer,

fell to woolgathering on the enormous dimensions of the water about the

globe, suffice it to say that, as a casual glance at the map revealed,

it covered fully three fourths of it and he fully realised accordingly

what it meant to rule the waves. On more than one occasion, a dozen at

the lowest, near the North Bull at Dollymount he had remarked a

superannuated old salt, evidently derelict, seated habitually near the

not particularly redolent sea on the wall, staring quite obliviously at

it and it at him, dreaming of fresh woods and pastures new as someone

somewhere sings. And it left him wondering why. Possibly he had tried

to find out the secret for himself, floundering up and down the

antipodes and all that sort of thing and over and under, well, not

exactly under, tempting the fates. And the odds were twenty to nil

there was really no secret about it at all. Nevertheless, without going

into the _minutiae_ of the business, the eloquent fact remained that

the sea was there in all its glory and in the natural course of things

somebody or other had to sail on it and fly in the face of providence

though it merely went to show how people usually contrived to load that

sort of onus on to the other fellow like the hell idea and the lottery

and insurance which were run on identically the same lines so that for

that very reason if no other lifeboat Sunday was a highly laudable

institution to which the public at large, no matter where living inland

or seaside, as the case might be, having it brought home to them like

that should extend its gratitude also to the harbourmasters and

coastguard service who had to man the rigging and push off and out amid

the elements whatever the season when duty called _Ireland expects that

every man_ and so on and sometimes had a terrible time of it in the

wintertime not forgetting the Irish lights, Kish and others, liable to

capsize at any moment, rounding which he once with his daughter had

experienced some remarkably choppy, not to say stormy, weather.

—There was a fellow sailed with me in the _Rover_, the old seadog,

himself a rover, proceeded, went ashore and took up a soft job as

gentleman’s valet at six quid a month. Them are his trousers I’ve on me

and he gave me an oilskin and that jackknife. I’m game for that job,

shaving and brushup. I hate roaming about. There’s my son now, Danny,

run off to sea and his mother got him took in a draper’s in Cork where

he could be drawing easy money.

—What age is he? queried one hearer who, by the way, seen from the

side, bore a distant resemblance to Henry Campbell, the townclerk, away

from the carking cares of office, unwashed of course and in a seedy

getup and a strong suspicion of nosepaint about the nasal appendage.

—Why, the sailor answered with a slow puzzled utterance, my son, Danny?

He’d be about eighteen now, way I figure it.

The Skibbereen father hereupon tore open his grey or unclean anyhow

shirt with his two hands and scratched away at his chest on which was

to be seen an image tattooed in blue Chinese ink intended to represent

an anchor.

—There was lice in that bunk in Bridgwater, he remarked, sure as nuts.

I must get a wash tomorrow or next day. It’s them black lads I objects

to. I hate those buggers. Suck your blood dry, they does.

Seeing they were all looking at his chest he accommodatingly dragged

his shirt more open so that on top of the timehonoured symbol of the

mariner’s hope and rest they had a full view of the figure 16 and a

young man’s sideface looking frowningly rather.

—Tattoo, the exhibitor explained. That was done when we were lying

becalmed off Odessa in the Black Sea under Captain Dalton. Fellow, the

name of Antonio, done that. There he is himself, a Greek.

—Did it hurt much doing it? one asked the sailor.

That worthy, however, was busily engaged in collecting round the.

Someway in his. Squeezing or.

—See here, he said, showing Antonio. There he is cursing the mate. And

there he is now, he added, the same fellow, pulling the skin with his

fingers, some special knack evidently, and he laughing at a yarn.

And in point of fact the young man named Antonio’s livid face did

actually look like forced smiling and the curious effect excited the

unreserved admiration of everybody including Skin-the-Goat, who this

time stretched over.

—Ay, ay, sighed the sailor, looking down on his manly chest. He’s gone

too. Ate by sharks after. Ay, ay.

He let go of the skin so that the profile resumed the normal expression

of before.

—Neat bit of work, one longshoreman said.

—And what’s the number for? loafer number two queried.

—Eaten alive? a third asked the sailor.

—Ay, ay, sighed again the latter personage, more cheerily this time

with some sort of a half smile for a brief duration only in the

direction of the questioner about the number. Ate. A Greek he was.

And then he added with rather gallowsbird humour considering his

alleged end:

—As bad as old Antonio,

For he left me on my ownio.

The face of a streetwalker glazed and haggard under a black straw hat

peered askew round the door of the shelter palpably reconnoitring on

her own with the object of bringing more grist to her mill. Mr Bloom,

scarcely knowing which way to look, turned away on the moment

flusterfied but outwardly calm, and, picking up from the table the pink

sheet of the Abbey street organ which the jarvey, if such he was, had

laid aside, he picked it up and looked at the pink of the paper though

why pink. His reason for so doing was he recognised on the moment round

the door the same face he had caught a fleeting glimpse of that

afternoon on Ormond quay, the partially idiotic female, namely, of the

lane who knew the lady in the brown costume does be with you (Mrs B.)

and begged the chance of his washing. Also why washing which seemed

rather vague than not, your washing. Still candour compelled him to

admit he had washed his wife’s undergarments when soiled in Holles

street and women would and did too a man’s similar garments initialled

with Bewley and Draper’s marking ink (hers were, that is) if they

really loved him, that is to say, love me, love my dirty shirt. Still

just then, being on tenterhooks, he desired the female’s room more than

her company so it came as a genuine relief when the keeper made her a

rude sign to take herself off. Round the side of the _Evening

Telegraph_ he just caught a fleeting glimpse of her face round the side

of the door with a kind of demented glassy grin showing that she was

not exactly all there, viewing with evident amusement the group of

gazers round skipper Murphy’s nautical chest and then there was no more

of her.

—The gunboat, the keeper said.

—It beats me, Mr Bloom confided to Stephen, medically I am speaking,

how a wretched creature like that from the Lock hospital reeking with

disease can be barefaced enough to solicit or how any man in his sober

senses, if he values his health in the least. Unfortunate creature! Of

course I suppose some man is ultimately responsible for her condition.

Still no matter what the cause is from...

Stephen had not noticed her and shrugged his shoulders, merely

remarking:

—In this country people sell much more than she ever had and do a

roaring trade. Fear not them that sell the body but have not power to

buy the soul. She is a bad merchant. She buys dear and sells cheap.

The elder man, though not by any manner of means an old maid or a

prude, said it was nothing short of a crying scandal that ought to be

put a stop to _instanter_ to say that women of that stamp (quite apart

from any oldmaidish squeamishness on the subject), a necessary evil,

were not licensed and medically inspected by the proper authorities, a

thing, he could truthfully state, he, as a _paterfamilias_, was a

stalwart advocate of from the very first start. Whoever embarked on a

policy of the sort, he said, and ventilated the matter thoroughly would

confer a lasting boon on everybody concerned.

—You as a good catholic, he observed, talking of body and soul, believe

in the soul. Or do you mean the intelligence, the brainpower as such,

as distinct from any outside object, the table, let us say, that cup. I

believe in that myself because it has been explained by competent men

as the convolutions of the grey matter. Otherwise we would never have

such inventions as X rays, for instance. Do you?

Thus cornered, Stephen had to make a superhuman effort of memory to try

and concentrate and remember before he could say:

—They tell me on the best authority it is a simple substance and

therefore incorruptible. It would be immortal, I understand, but for

the possibility of its annihilation by its First Cause Who, from all I

can hear, is quite capable of adding that to the number of His other

practical jokes, _corruptio per se_ and _corruptio per accidens_ both

being excluded by court etiquette.

Mr Bloom thoroughly acquiesced in the general gist of this though the

mystical finesse involved was a bit out of his sublunary depth still he

felt bound to enter a demurrer on the head of simple, promptly

rejoining:

—Simple? I shouldn’t think that is the proper word. Of course, I grant

you, to concede a point, you do knock across a simple soul once in a

blue moon. But what I am anxious to arrive at is it is one thing for

instance to invent those rays Röntgen did or the telescope like Edison,

though I believe it was before his time Galileo was the man, I mean,

and the same applies to the laws, for example, of a farreaching natural

phenomenon such as electricity but it’s a horse of quite another colour

to say you believe in the existence of a supernatural God.

—O that, Stephen expostulated, has been proved conclusively by several

of the bestknown passages in Holy Writ, apart from circumstantial

evidence.

On this knotty point however the views of the pair, poles apart as they

were both in schooling and everything else with the marked difference

in their respective ages, clashed.

—Has been? the more experienced of the two objected, sticking to his

original point with a smile of unbelief. I’m not so sure about that.

That’s a matter for everyman’s opinion and, without dragging in the

sectarian side of the business, I beg to differ with you _in toto_

there. My belief is, to tell you the candid truth, that those bits were

genuine forgeries all of them put in by monks most probably or it’s the

big question of our national poet over again, who precisely wrote them

like _Hamlet_ and Bacon, as, you who know your Shakespeare infinitely

better than I, of course I needn’t tell you. Can’t you drink that

coffee, by the way? Let me stir it. And take a piece of that bun. It’s

like one of our skipper’s bricks disguised. Still no-one can give what

he hasn’t got. Try a bit.

—Couldn’t, Stephen contrived to get out, his mental organs for the

moment refusing to dictate further.

Faultfinding being a proverbially bad hat Mr Bloom thought well to stir

or try to the clotted sugar from the bottom and reflected with

something approaching acrimony on the Coffee Palace and its temperance

(and lucrative) work. To be sure it was a legitimate object and beyond

yea or nay did a world of good, shelters such as the present one they

were in run on teetotal lines for vagrants at night, concerts, dramatic

evenings and useful lectures (admittance free) by qualified men for the

lower orders. On the other hand he had a distinct and painful

recollection they paid his wife, Madam Marion Tweedy who had been

prominently associated with it at one time, a very modest remuneration

indeed for her pianoplaying. The idea, he was strongly inclined to

believe, was to do good and net a profit, there being no competition to

speak of. Sulphate of copper poison SO4 or something in some dried peas

he remembered reading of in a cheap eatinghouse somewhere but he

couldn’t remember when it was or where. Anyhow inspection, medical

inspection, of all eatables seemed to him more than ever necessary

which possibly accounted for the vogue of Dr Tibble’s Vi-Cocoa on

account of the medical analysis involved.

—Have a shot at it now, he ventured to say of the coffee after being

stirred.

Thus prevailed on to at any rate taste it Stephen lifted the heavy mug

from the brown puddle it clopped out of when taken up by the handle and

took a sip of the offending beverage.

—Still it’s solid food, his good genius urged, I’m a stickler for solid

food, his one and only reason being not gormandising in the least but

regular meals as the _sine qua non_ for any kind of proper work, mental

or manual. You ought to eat more solid food. You would feel a different

man.

—Liquids I can eat, Stephen said. But O, oblige me by taking away that

knife. I can’t look at the point of it. It reminds me of Roman history.

Mr Bloom promptly did as suggested and removed the incriminated

article, a blunt hornhandled ordinary knife with nothing particularly

Roman or antique about it to the lay eye, observing that the point was

the least conspicuous point about it.

—Our mutual friend’s stories are like himself, Mr Bloom _apropos_ of

knives remarked to his _confidante sotto voce_. Do you think they are

genuine? He could spin those yarns for hours on end all night long and

lie like old boots. Look at him.

Yet still though his eyes were thick with sleep and sea air life was

full of a host of things and coincidences of a terrible nature and it

was quite within the bounds of possibility that it was not an entire

fabrication though at first blush there was not much inherent

probability in all the spoof he got off his chest being strictly

accurate gospel.

He had been meantime taking stock of the individual in front of him and

Sherlockholmesing him up ever since he clapped eyes on him. Though a

wellpreserved man of no little stamina, if a trifle prone to baldness,

there was something spurious in the cut of his jib that suggested a

jail delivery and it required no violent stretch of imagination to

associate such a weirdlooking specimen with the oakum and treadmill

fraternity. He might even have done for his man supposing it was his

own case he told, as people often did about others, namely, that he

killed him himself and had served his four or five goodlooking years in

durance vile to say nothing of the Antonio personage (no relation to

the dramatic personage of identical name who sprang from the pen of our

national poet) who expiated his crimes in the melodramatic manner above

described. On the other hand he might be only bluffing, a pardonable

weakness because meeting unmistakable mugs, Dublin residents, like

those jarvies waiting news from abroad would tempt any ancient mariner

who sailed the ocean seas to draw the long bow about the schooner

_Hesperus_ and etcetera. And when all was said and done the lies a

fellow told about himself couldn’t probably hold a proverbial candle to

the wholesale whoppers other fellows coined about him.

—Mind you, I’m not saying that it’s all a pure invention, he resumed.

Analogous scenes are occasionally, if not often, met with. Giants,

though that is rather a far cry, you see once in a way, Marcella the

midget queen. In those waxworks in Henry street I myself saw some

Aztecs, as they are called, sitting bowlegged, they couldn’t straighten

their legs if you paid them because the muscles here, you see, he

proceeded, indicating on his companion the brief outline of the sinews

or whatever you like to call them behind the right knee, were utterly

powerless from sitting that way so long cramped up, being adored as

gods. There’s an example again of simple souls.

However reverting to friend Sinbad and his horrifying adventures (who

reminded him a bit of Ludwig, _alias_ Ledwidge, when he occupied the

boards of the Gaiety when Michael Gunn was identified with the

management in the _Flying Dutchman_, a stupendous success, and his host

of admirers came in large numbers, everyone simply flocking to hear him

though ships of any sort, phantom or the reverse, on the stage usually

fell a bit flat as also did trains) there was nothing intrinsically

incompatible about it, he conceded. On the contrary that stab in the

back touch was quite in keeping with those italianos though candidly he

was none the less free to admit those icecreamers and friers in the

fish way not to mention the chip potato variety and so forth over in

little Italy there near the Coombe were sober thrifty hardworking

fellows except perhaps a bit too given to pothunting the harmless

necessary animal of the feline persuasion of others at night so as to

have a good old succulent tuckin with garlic _de rigueur_ off him or

her next day on the quiet and, he added, on the cheap.

—Spaniards, for instance, he continued, passionate temperaments like

that, impetuous as Old Nick, are given to taking the law into their own

hands and give you your quietus doublequick with those poignards they

carry in the abdomen. It comes from the great heat, climate generally.

My wife is, so to speak, Spanish, half that is. Point of fact she could

actually claim Spanish nationality if she wanted, having been born in

(technically) Spain, i.e. Gibraltar. She has the Spanish type. Quite

dark, regular brunette, black. I for one certainly believe climate

accounts for character. That’s why I asked you if you wrote your poetry

in Italian.

—The temperaments at the door, Stephen interposed with, were very

passionate about ten shillings. _Roberto ruba roba sua_.

—Quite so, Mr Bloom dittoed.

—Then, Stephen said staring and rambling on to himself or some unknown

listener somewhere, we have the impetuosity of Dante and the isosceles

triangle miss Portinari he fell in love with and Leonardo and san

Tommaso Mastino.

—It’s in the blood, Mr Bloom acceded at once. All are washed in the

blood of the sun. Coincidence I just happened to be in the Kildare

street museum today, shortly prior to our meeting if I can so call it,

and I was just looking at those antique statues there. The splendid

proportions of hips, bosom. You simply don’t knock against those kind

of women here. An exception here and there. Handsome yes, pretty in a

way you find but what I’m talking about is the female form. Besides

they have so little taste in dress, most of them, which greatly

enhances a woman’s natural beauty, no matter what you say. Rumpled

stockings, it may be, possibly is, a foible of mine but still it’s a

thing I simply hate to see.

Interest, however, was starting to flag somewhat all round and then the

others got on to talking about accidents at sea, ships lost in a fog,

collisions with icebergs, all that sort of thing. Shipahoy of course

had his own say to say. He had doubled the cape a few odd times and

weathered a monsoon, a kind of wind, in the China seas and through all

those perils of the deep there was one thing, he declared, stood to him

or words to that effect, a pious medal he had that saved him.

So then after that they drifted on to the wreck off Daunt’s rock, wreck

of that illfated Norwegian barque nobody could think of her name for

the moment till the jarvey who had really quite a look of Henry

Campbell remembered it _Palme_ on Booterstown strand. That was the talk

of the town that year (Albert William Quill wrote a fine piece of

original verse of distinctive merit on the topic for the Irish

_Times_), breakers running over her and crowds and crowds on the shore

in commotion petrified with horror. Then someone said something about

the case of the s. s. _Lady Cairns_ of Swansea run into by the _Mona_

which was on an opposite tack in rather muggyish weather and lost with

all hands on deck. No aid was given. Her master, the _Mona_’s, said he

was afraid his collision bulkhead would give way. She had no water, it

appears, in her hold.

At this stage an incident happened. It having become necessary for him

to unfurl a reef the sailor vacated his seat.

—Let me cross your bows mate, he said to his neighbour who was just

gently dropping off into a peaceful doze.

He made tracks heavily, slowly with a dumpy sort of a gait to the door,

stepped heavily down the one step there was out of the shelter and bore

due left. While he was in the act of getting his bearings Mr Bloom who

noticed when he stood up that he had two flasks of presumably ship’s

rum sticking one out of each pocket for the private consumption of his

burning interior, saw him produce a bottle and uncork it or unscrew

and, applying its nozzle to his lips, take a good old delectable swig

out of it with a gurgling noise. The irrepressible Bloom, who also had

a shrewd suspicion that the old stager went out on a manœuvre after the

counterattraction in the shape of a female who however had disappeared

to all intents and purposes, could by straining just perceive him, when

duly refreshed by his rum puncheon exploit, gaping up at the piers and

girders of the Loop line rather out of his depth as of course it was

all radically altered since his last visit and greatly improved. Some

person or persons invisible directed him to the male urinal erected by

the cleansing committee all over the place for the purpose but after a

brief space of time during which silence reigned supreme the sailor,

evidently giving it a wide berth, eased himself closer at hand, the

noise of his bilgewater some little time subsequently splashing on the

ground where it apparently awoke a horse of the cabrank. A hoof scooped

anyway for new foothold after sleep and harness jingled. Slightly

disturbed in his sentrybox by the brazier of live coke the watcher of

the corporation stones who, though now broken down and fast breaking

up, was none other in stern reality than the Gumley aforesaid, now

practically on the parish rates, given the temporary job by Pat Tobin

in all human probability from dictates of humanity knowing him before

shifted about and shuffled in his box before composing his limbs again

in to the arms of Morpheus, a truly amazing piece of hard lines in its

most virulent form on a fellow most respectably connected and

familiarised with decent home comforts all his life who came in for a

cool £ 100 a year at one time which of course the doublebarrelled ass

proceeded to make general ducks and drakes of. And there he was at the

end of his tether after having often painted the town tolerably pink

without a beggarly stiver. He drank needless to be told and it pointed

only once more a moral when he might quite easily be in a large way of

business if—a big if, however—he had contrived to cure himself of his

particular partiality.

All meantime were loudly lamenting the falling off in Irish shipping,

coastwise and foreign as well, which was all part and parcel of the

same thing. A Palgrave Murphy boat was put off the ways at Alexandra

basin, the only launch that year. Right enough the harbours were there

only no ships ever called.

There were wrecks and wreckers, the keeper said, who was evidently _au

fait_.

What he wanted to ascertain was why that ship ran bang against the only

rock in Galway bay when the Galway harbour scheme was mooted by a Mr

Worthington or some name like that, eh? Ask the then captain, he

advised them, how much palmoil the British government gave him for that

day’s work, Captain John Lever of the Lever Line.

—Am I right, skipper? he queried of the sailor, now returning after his

private potation and the rest of his exertions.

That worthy picking up the scent of the fagend of the song or words

growled in wouldbe music but with great vim some kind of chanty or

other in seconds or thirds. Mr Bloom’s sharp ears heard him then

expectorate the plug probably (which it was), so that he must have

lodged it for the time being in his fist while he did the drinking and

making water jobs and found it a bit sour after the liquid fire in

question. Anyhow in he rolled after his successful

libation-_cum_-potation, introducing an atmosphere of drink into the

_soirée_, boisterously trolling, like a veritable son of a seacook:

—The biscuits was as hard as brass

And the beef as salt as Lot’s wife’s arse.

O, Johnny Lever!

Johnny Lever, O!

After which effusion the redoubtable specimen duly arrived on the scene

and regaining his seat he sank rather than sat heavily on the form

provided. Skin-the-Goat, assuming he was he, evidently with an axe to

grind, was airing his grievances in a forcible-feeble philippic anent

the natural resources of Ireland or something of that sort which he

described in his lengthy dissertation as the richest country bar none

on the face of God’s earth, far and away superior to England, with coal

in large quantities, six million pounds worth of pork exported every

year, ten millions between butter and eggs and all the riches drained

out of it by England levying taxes on the poor people that paid through

the nose always and gobbling up the best meat in the market and a lot

more surplus steam in the same vein. Their conversation accordingly

became general and all agreed that that was a fact. You could grow any

mortal thing in Irish soil, he stated, and there was that colonel

Everard down there in Navan growing tobacco. Where would you find

anywhere the like of Irish bacon? But a day of reckoning, he stated

_crescendo_ with no uncertain voice, thoroughly monopolising all the

conversation, was in store for mighty England, despite her power of

pelf on account of her crimes. There would be a fall and the greatest

fall in history. The Germans and the Japs were going to have their

little lookin, he affirmed. The Boers were the beginning of the end.

Brummagem England was toppling already and her downfall would be

Ireland, her Achilles heel, which he explained to them about the

vulnerable point of Achilles, the Greek hero, a point his auditors at

once seized as he completely gripped their attention by showing the

tendon referred to on his boot. His advice to every Irishman was: stay

in the land of your birth and work for Ireland and live for Ireland.

Ireland, Parnell said, could not spare a single one of her sons.

Silence all round marked the termination of his _finale_. The

impervious navigator heard these lurid tidings, undismayed.

—Take a bit of doing, boss, retaliated that rough diamond palpably a

bit peeved in response to the foregoing truism.

To which cold douche referring to downfall and so on the keeper

concurred but nevertheless held to his main view.

—Who’s the best troops in the army? the grizzled old veteran irately

interrogated. And the best jumpers and racers? And the best admirals

and generals we’ve got? Tell me that.

—The Irish, for choice, retorted the cabby like Campbell, facial

blemishes apart.

—That’s right, the old tarpaulin corroborated. The Irish catholic

peasant. He’s the backbone of our empire. You know Jem Mullins?

While allowing him his individual opinions as everyman the keeper added

he cared nothing for any empire, ours or his, and considered no

Irishman worthy of his salt that served it. Then they began to have a

few irascible words when it waxed hotter, both, needless to say,

appealing to the listeners who followed the passage of arms with

interest so long as they didn’t indulge in recriminations and come to

blows.

From inside information extending over a series of years Mr Bloom was

rather inclined to poohpooh the suggestion as egregious balderdash for,

pending that consummation devoutly to be or not to be wished for, he

was fully cognisant of the fact that their neighbours across the

channel, unless they were much bigger fools than he took them for,

rather concealed their strength than the opposite. It was quite on a

par with the quixotic idea in certain quarters that in a hundred

million years the coal seam of the sister island would be played out

and if, as time went on, that turned out to be how the cat jumped all

he could personally say on the matter was that as a host of

contingencies, equally relevant to the issue, might occur ere then it

was highly advisable in the interim to try to make the most of both

countries even though poles apart. Another little interesting point,

the amours of whores and chummies, to put it in common parlance,

reminded him Irish soldiers had as often fought for England as against

her, more so, in fact. And now, why? So the scene between the pair of

them, the licensee of the place rumoured to be or have been Fitzharris,

the famous invincible, and the other, obviously bogus, reminded him

forcibly as being on all fours with the confidence trick, supposing,

that is, it was prearranged as the lookeron, a student of the human

soul if anything, the others seeing least of the game. And as for the

lessee or keeper, who probably wasn’t the other person at all, he (B.)

couldn’t help feeling and most properly it was better to give people

like that the goby unless you were a blithering idiot altogether and

refuse to have anything to do with them as a golden rule in private

life and their felonsetting, there always being the offchance of a

Dannyman coming forward and turning queen’s evidence or king’s now like

Denis or Peter Carey, an idea he utterly repudiated. Quite apart from

that he disliked those careers of wrongdoing and crime on principle.

Yet, though such criminal propensities had never been an inmate of his

bosom in any shape or form, he certainly did feel and no denying it

(while inwardly remaining what he was) a certain kind of admiration for

a man who had actually brandished a knife, cold steel, with the courage

of his political convictions (though, personally, he would never be a

party to any such thing), off the same bat as those love vendettas of

the south, have her or swing for her, when the husband frequently,

after some words passed between the two concerning her relations with

the other lucky mortal (he having had the pair watched), inflicted

fatal injuries on his adored one as a result of an alternative

postnuptial _liaison_ by plunging his knife into her, until it just

struck him that Fitz, nicknamed Skin-the-Goat, merely drove the car for

the actual perpetrators of the outrage and so was not, if he was

reliably informed, actually party to the ambush which, in point of

fact, was the plea some legal luminary saved his skin on. In any case

that was very ancient history by now and as for our friend, the pseudo

Skin-the-etcetera, he had transparently outlived his welcome. He ought

to have either died naturally or on the scaffold high. Like actresses,

always farewell positively last performance then come up smiling again.

Generous to a fault of course, temperamental, no economising or any

idea of the sort, always snapping at the bone for the shadow. So

similarly he had a very shrewd suspicion that Mr Johnny Lever got rid

of some £. s. d. in the course of his perambulations round the docks in

the congenial atmosphere of the _Old Ireland_ tavern, come back to Erin

and so on. Then as for the other he had heard not so long before the

same identical lingo as he told Stephen how he simply but effectually

silenced the offender.

—He took umbrage at something or other, that muchinjured but on the

whole eventempered person declared, I let slip. He called me a jew and

in a heated fashion offensively. So I without deviating from plain

facts in the least told him his God, I mean Christ, was a jew too and

all his family like me though in reality I’m not. That was one for him.

A soft answer turns away wrath. He hadn’t a word to say for himself as

everyone saw. Am I not right?

He turned a long you are wrong gaze on Stephen of timorous dark pride

at the soft impeachment with a glance also of entreaty for he seemed to

glean in a kind of a way that it wasn’t all exactly.

—_Ex quibus_, Stephen mumbled in a noncommittal accent, their two or

four eyes conversing, _Christus_ or Bloom his name is or after all any

other, _secundum carnem_.

—Of course, Mr B. proceeded to stipulate, you must look at both sides

of the question. It is hard to lay down any hard and fast rules as to

right and wrong but room for improvement all round there certainly is

though every country, they say, our own distressful included, has the

government it deserves. But with a little goodwill all round. It’s all

very fine to boast of mutual superiority but what about mutual

equality. I resent violence and intolerance in any shape or form. It

never reaches anything or stops anything. A revolution must come on the

due instalments plan. It’s a patent absurdity on the face of it to hate

people because they live round the corner and speak another vernacular,

in the next house so to speak.

—Memorable bloody bridge battle and seven minutes’ war, Stephen

assented, between Skinner’s alley and Ormond market.

Yes, Mr Bloom thoroughly agreed, entirely endorsing the remark, that

was overwhelmingly right. And the whole world was full of that sort of

thing.

—You just took the words out of my mouth, he said. A hocuspocus of

conflicting evidence that candidly you couldn’t remotely...

All those wretched quarrels, in his humble opinion, stirring up bad

blood, from some bump of combativeness or gland of some kind,

erroneously supposed to be about a punctilio of honour and a flag, were

very largely a question of the money question which was at the back of

everything, greed and jealousy, people never knowing when to stop.

—They accuse, remarked he audibly. He turned away from the others, who

probably… and spoke nearer to, so as the others… in case they…

—Jews, he softly imparted in an aside in Stephen’s ear, are accused of

ruining. Not a vestige of truth in it, I can safely say. History, would

you be surprised to learn, proves up to the hilt Spain decayed when the

inquisition hounded the jews out and England prospered when Cromwell,

an uncommonly able ruffian who in other respects has much to answer

for, imported them. Why? Because they are imbued with the proper

spirit. They are practical and are proved to be so. I don’t want to

indulge in any because you know the standard works on the subject and

then orthodox as you are. But in the economic, not touching religion,

domain the priest spells poverty. Spain again, you saw in the war,

compared with goahead America. Turks. It’s in the dogma. Because if

they didn’t believe they’d go straight to heaven when they die they’d

try to live better, at least so I think. That’s the juggle on which the

p.p.’s raise the wind on false pretences. I’m, he resumed with dramatic

force, as good an Irishman as that rude person I told you about at the

outset and I want to see everyone, concluded he, all creeds and classes

_pro rata_ having a comfortable tidysized income, in no niggard fashion

either, something in the neighbourhood of £ 300 per annum. That’s the

vital issue at stake and it’s feasible and would be provocative of

friendlier intercourse between man and man. At least that’s my idea for

what it’s worth. I call that patriotism. _Ubi patria_, as we learned a

smattering of in our classical days in _Alma Mater, vita bene_. Where

you can live well, the sense is, if you work.

Over his untastable apology for a cup of coffee, listening to this

synopsis of things in general, Stephen stared at nothing in particular.

He could hear, of course, all kinds of words changing colour like those

crabs about Ringsend in the morning burrowing quickly into all colours

of different sorts of the same sand where they had a home somewhere

beneath or seemed to. Then he looked up and saw the eyes that said or

didn’t say the words the voice he heard said, if you work.

—Count me out, he managed to remark, meaning work.

The eyes were surprised at this observation because as he, the person

who owned them pro tem. observed or rather his voice speaking did, all

must work, have to, together.

—I mean, of course, the other hastened to affirm, work in the widest

possible sense. Also literary labour not merely for the kudos of the

thing. Writing for the newspapers which is the readiest channel

nowadays. That’s work too. Important work. After all, from the little I

know of you, after all the money expended on your education you are

entitled to recoup yourself and command your price. You have every bit

as much right to live by your pen in pursuit of your philosophy as the

peasant has. What? You both belong to Ireland, the brain and the brawn.

Each is equally important.

—You suspect, Stephen retorted with a sort of a half laugh, that I may

be important because I belong to the _faubourg Saint Patrice_ called

Ireland for short.

—I would go a step farther, Mr Bloom insinuated.

—But I suspect, Stephen interrupted, that Ireland must be important

because it belongs to me.

—What belongs, queried Mr Bloom bending, fancying he was perhaps under

some misapprehension. Excuse me. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch the

latter portion. What was it you...?

Stephen, patently crosstempered, repeated and shoved aside his mug of

coffee or whatever you like to call it none too politely, adding:

—We can’t change the country. Let us change the subject.

At this pertinent suggestion Mr Bloom, to change the subject, looked

down but in a quandary, as he couldn’t tell exactly what construction

to put on belongs to which sounded rather a far cry. The rebuke of some

kind was clearer than the other part. Needless to say the fumes of his

recent orgy spoke then with some asperity in a curious bitter way

foreign to his sober state. Probably the homelife to which Mr B

attached the utmost importance had not been all that was needful or he

hadn’t been familiarised with the right sort of people. With a touch of

fear for the young man beside him whom he furtively scrutinised with an

air of some consternation remembering he had just come back from Paris,

the eyes more especially reminding him forcibly of father and sister,

failing to throw much light on the subject, however, he brought to mind

instances of cultured fellows that promised so brilliantly nipped in

the bud of premature decay and nobody to blame but themselves. For

instance there was the case of O’Callaghan, for one, the halfcrazy

faddist, respectably connected though of inadequate means, with his mad

vagaries among whose other gay doings when rotto and making himself a

nuisance to everybody all round he was in the habit of ostentatiously

sporting in public a suit of brown paper (a fact). And then the usual

_dénouement_ after the fun had gone on fast and furious he got landed

into hot water and had to be spirited away by a few friends, after a

strong hint to a blind horse from John Mallon of Lower Castle Yard, so

as not to be made amenable under section two of the criminal law

amendment act, certain names of those subpœnaed being handed in but not

divulged for reasons which will occur to anyone with a pick of brains.

Briefly, putting two and two together, six sixteen which he pointedly

turned a deaf ear to, Antonio and so forth, jockeys and esthetes and

the tattoo which was all the go in the seventies or thereabouts even in

the house of lords because early in life the occupant of the throne,

then heir apparent, the other members of the upper ten and other high

personages simply following in the footsteps of the head of the state,

he reflected about the errors of notorieties and crowned heads running

counter to morality such as the Cornwall case a number of years before

under their veneer in a way scarcely intended by nature, a thing good

Mrs Grundy, as the law stands, was terribly down on though not for the

reason they thought they were probably whatever it was except women

chiefly who were always fiddling more or less at one another it being

largely a matter of dress and all the rest of it. Ladies who like

distinctive underclothing should, and every welltailored man must,

trying to make the gap wider between them by innuendo and give more of

a genuine filip to acts of impropriety between the two, she unbuttoned

his and then he untied her, mind the pin, whereas savages in the

cannibal islands, say, at ninety degrees in the shade not caring a

continental. However, reverting to the original, there were on the

other hand others who had forced their way to the top from the lowest

rung by the aid of their bootstraps. Sheer force of natural genius,

that. With brains, sir.

For which and further reasons he felt it was his interest and duty even

to wait on and profit by the unlookedfor occasion though why he could

not exactly tell being as it was already several shillings to the bad

having in fact let himself in for it. Still to cultivate the

acquaintance of someone of no uncommon calibre who could provide food

for reflection would amply repay any small. Intellectual stimulation,

as such, was, he felt, from time to time a firstrate tonic for the

mind. Added to which was the coincidence of meeting, discussion, dance,

row, old salt of the here today and gone tomorrow type, night loafers,

the whole galaxy of events, all went to make up a miniature cameo of

the world we live in especially as the lives of the submerged tenth,

viz. coalminers, divers, scavengers etc., were very much under the

microscope lately. To improve the shining hour he wondered whether he

might meet with anything approaching the same luck as Mr Philip Beaufoy

if taken down in writing suppose he were to pen something out of the

common groove (as he fully intended doing) at the rate of one guinea

per column. _My Experiences_, let us say, _in a Cabman’s Shelter_.

The pink edition extra sporting of the _Telegraph_ tell a graphic lie

lay, as luck would have it, beside his elbow and as he was just

puzzling again, far from satisfied, over a country belonging to him and

the preceding rebus the vessel came from Bridgwater and the postcard

was addressed A. Boudin find the captain’s age, his eyes went aimlessly

over the respective captions which came under his special province the

allembracing give us this day our daily press. First he got a bit of a

start but it turned out to be only something about somebody named H. du

Boyes, agent for typewriters or something like that. Great battle,

Tokio. Lovemaking in Irish, £ 200 damages. Gordon Bennett. Emigration

Swindle. Letter from His Grace. William ✠. Ascot meeting, the Gold Cup.

Victory of outsider _Throwaway_ recalls Derby of ’92 when Capt.

Marshall’s dark horse _Sir Hugo_ captured the blue ribband at long

odds. New York disaster. Thousand lives lost. Foot and Mouth. Funeral

of the late Mr Patrick Dignam.

So to change the subject he read about Dignam R. I. P. which, he

reflected, was anything but a gay sendoff. Or a change of address

anyway.

—_This morning_ (Hynes put it in of course) _the remains of the late Mr

Patrick Dignam were removed from his residence, no 9 Newbridge Avenue,

Sandymount, for interment in Glasnevin. The deceased gentleman was a

most popular and genial personality in city life and his demise after a

brief illness came as a great shock to citizens of all classes by whom

he is deeply regretted. The obsequies, at which many friends of the

deceased were present, were carried out_ (certainly Hynes wrote it with

a nudge from Corny) _by Messrs H. J. O’Neill and Son, 164 North Strand

Road. The mourners included: Patk. Dignam (son), Bernard Corrigan

(brother-in-law), Jno. Henry Menton, solr, Martin Cunningham, John

Power, eatondph 1/8 ador dorador douradora_ (must be where he called

Monks the dayfather about Keyes’s ad) _Thomas Kernan, Simon Dedalus,

Stephen Dedalus B. A., Edw. J. Lambert, Cornelius T. Kelleher, Joseph

M’C Hynes, L. Boom, C P M’Coy,—M’Intosh and several others_.

Nettled not a little by L. _Boom_ (as it incorrectly stated) and the

line of bitched type but tickled to death simultaneously by C. P. M’Coy

and Stephen Dedalus B. A. who were conspicuous, needless to say, by

their total absence (to say nothing of M’Intosh) L. Boom pointed it out

to his companion B. A. engaged in stifling another yawn, half

nervousness, not forgetting the usual crop of nonsensical howlers of

misprints.

—Is that first epistle to the Hebrews, he asked as soon as his bottom

jaw would let him, in? Text: open thy mouth and put thy foot in it.

—It is. Really, Mr Bloom said (though first he fancied he alluded to

the archbishop till he added about foot and mouth with which there

could be no possible connection) overjoyed to set his mind at rest and

a bit flabbergasted at Myles Crawford’s after all managing to. There.

While the other was reading it on page two Boom (to give him for the

nonce his new misnomer) whiled away a few odd leisure moments in fits

and starts with the account of the third event at Ascot on page three,

his side. Value 1000 sovs with 3000 sovs in specie added. For entire

colts and fillies. Mr F. Alexander’s _Throwaway_, b. h. by

_Rightaway-Thrale_, 5 yrs, 9 st 4 lbs (W. Lane) 1. Lord Howard de

Walden’s _Zinfandel_ (M. Cannon) 2. Mr W. Bass’s _Sceptre_ 3. Betting 5

to 4 on _Zinfandel_, 20 to 1 _Throwaway_ (off). _Sceptre_ a shade

heavier. It was anybody’s race then the rank outsider drew to the fore,

got long lead, beating Lord Howard de Walden’s chestnut colt and Mr W.

Bass’s bay filly Sceptre on a 2 1/2 mile course. Winner trained by

Braime so that Lenehan’s version of the business was all pure buncombe.

Secured the verdict cleverly by a length. 1000 sovs with 3000 in

specie. Also ran: J de Bremond’s (French horse Bantam Lyons was

anxiously inquiring after not in yet but expected any minute) _Maximum

II_. Different ways of bringing off a coup. Lovemaking damages. Though

that halfbaked Lyons ran off at a tangent in his impetuosity to get

left. Of course gambling eminently lent itself to that sort of thing

though as the event turned out the poor fool hadn’t much reason to

congratulate himself on his pick, the forlorn hope. Guesswork it

reduced itself to eventually.

—There was every indication they would arrive at that, he, Bloom, said.

—Who? the other, whose hand by the way was hurt, said.

One morning you would open the paper, the cabman affirmed, and read:

_Return of Parnell_. He bet them what they liked. A Dublin fusilier was

in that shelter one night and said he saw him in South Africa. Pride it

was killed him. He ought to have done away with himself or lain low for

a time after committee room no 15 until he was his old self again with

no-one to point a finger at him. Then they would all to a man have gone

down on their marrowbones to him to come back when he had recovered his

senses. Dead he wasn’t. Simply absconded somewhere. The coffin they

brought over was full of stones. He changed his name to De Wet, the

Boer general. He made a mistake to fight the priests. And so forth and

so on.

All the same Bloom (properly so dubbed) was rather surprised at their

memories for in nine cases out of ten it was a case of tarbarrels and

not singly but in their thousands and then complete oblivion because it

was twenty odd years. Highly unlikely of course there was even a shadow

of truth in the stones and, even supposing, he thought a return highly

inadvisable, all things considered. Something evidently riled them in

his death. Either he petered out too tamely of acute pneumonia just

when his various different political arrangements were nearing

completion or whether it transpired he owed his death to his having

neglected to change his boots and clothes after a wetting when a cold

resulted and failing to consult a specialist he being confined to his

room till he eventually died of it amid widespread regret before a

fortnight was at an end or quite possibly they were distressed to find

the job was taken out of their hands. Of course nobody being acquainted

with his movements even before there was absolutely no clue as to his

whereabouts which were decidedly of the _Alice, where art thou_ order

even prior to his starting to go under several aliases such as Fox and

Stewart so the remark which emanated from friend cabby might be within

the bounds of possibility. Naturally then it would prey on his mind as

a born leader of men which undoubtedly he was and a commanding figure,

a sixfooter or at any rate five feet ten or eleven in his stockinged

feet, whereas Messrs So and So who, though they weren’t even a patch on

the former man, ruled the roost after their redeeming features were

very few and far between. It certainly pointed a moral, the idol with

feet of clay, and then seventytwo of his trusty henchmen rounding on

him with mutual mudslinging. And the identical same with murderers. You

had to come back. That haunting sense kind of drew you. To show the

understudy in the title _rôle_ how to. He saw him once on the

auspicious occasion when they broke up the type in the _Insuppressible_

or was it _United Ireland_, a privilege he keenly appreciated, and, in

point of fact, handed him his silk hat when it was knocked off and he

said _Thank you_, excited as he undoubtedly was under his frigid

exterior notwithstanding the little misadventure mentioned between the

cup and the lip: what’s bred in the bone. Still as regards return. You

were a lucky dog if they didn’t set the terrier at you directly you got

back. Then a lot of shillyshally usually followed, Tom for and Dick and

Harry against. And then, number one, you came up against the man in

possession and had to produce your credentials like the claimant in the

Tichborne case, Roger Charles Tichborne, _Bella_ was the boat’s name to

the best of his recollection he, the heir, went down in as the evidence

went to show and there was a tattoo mark too in Indian ink, lord Bellew

was it, as he might very easily have picked up the details from some

pal on board ship and then, when got up to tally with the description

given, introduce himself with: _Excuse me, my name is So and So_ or

some such commonplace remark. A more prudent course, as Bloom said to

the not over effusive, in fact like the distinguished personage under

discussion beside him, would have been to sound the lie of the land

first.

—That bitch, that English whore, did for him, the shebeen proprietor

commented. She put the first nail in his coffin.

—Fine lump of a woman all the same, the _soi-disant_ townclerk Henry

Campbell remarked, and plenty of her. She loosened many a man’s thighs.

I seen her picture in a barber’s. The husband was a captain or an

officer.

—Ay, Skin-the-Goat amusingly added, he was and a cottonball one.

This gratuitous contribution of a humorous character occasioned a fair

amount of laughter among his _entourage_. As regards Bloom he, without

the faintest suspicion of a smile, merely gazed in the direction of the

door and reflected upon the historic story which had aroused

extraordinary interest at the time when the facts, to make matters

worse, were made public with the usual affectionate letters that passed

between them full of sweet nothings. First it was strictly Platonic

till nature intervened and an attachment sprang up between them till

bit by bit matters came to a climax and the matter became the talk of

the town till the staggering blow came as a welcome intelligence to not

a few evildisposed, however, who were resolved upon encompassing his

downfall though the thing was public property all along though not to

anything like the sensational extent that it subsequently blossomed

into. Since their names were coupled, though, since he was her declared

favourite, where was the particular necessity to proclaim it to the

rank and file from the housetops, the fact, namely, that he had shared

her bedroom which came out in the witnessbox on oath when a thrill went

through the packed court literally electrifying everybody in the shape

of witnesses swearing to having witnessed him on such and such a

particular date in the act of scrambling out of an upstairs apartment

with the assistance of a ladder in night apparel, having gained

admittance in the same fashion, a fact the weeklies, addicted to the

lubric a little, simply coined shoals of money out of. Whereas the

simple fact of the case was it was simply a case of the husband not

being up to the scratch, with nothing in common between them beyond the

name, and then a real man arriving on the scene, strong to the verge of

weakness, falling a victim to her siren charms and forgetting home

ties, the usual sequel, to bask in the loved one’s smiles. The eternal

question of the life connubial, needless to say, cropped up. Can real

love, supposing there happens to be another chap in the case, exist

between married folk? Poser. Though it was no concern of theirs

absolutely if he regarded her with affection, carried away by a wave of

folly. A magnificent specimen of manhood he was truly augmented

obviously by gifts of a high order, as compared with the other military

supernumerary that is (who was just the usual everyday _farewell, my

gallant captain_ kind of an individual in the light dragoons, the 18th

hussars to be accurate) and inflammable doubtless (the fallen leader,

that is, not the other) in his own peculiar way which she of course,

woman, quickly perceived as highly likely to carve his way to fame

which he almost bid fair to do till the priests and ministers of the

gospel as a whole, his erstwhile staunch adherents, and his beloved

evicted tenants for whom he had done yeoman service in the rural parts

of the country by taking up the cudgels on their behalf in a way that

exceeded their most sanguine expectations, very effectually cooked his

matrimonial goose, thereby heaping coals of fire on his head much in

the same way as the fabled ass’s kick. Looking back now in a

retrospective kind of arrangement all seemed a kind of dream. And then

coming back was the worst thing you ever did because it went without

saying you would feel out of place as things always moved with the

times. Why, as he reflected, Irishtown strand, a locality he had not

been in for quite a number of years looked different somehow since, as

it happened, he went to reside on the north side. North or south,

however, it was just the wellknown case of hot passion, pure and

simple, upsetting the applecart with a vengeance and just bore out the

very thing he was saying as she also was Spanish or half so, types that

wouldn’t do things by halves, passionate abandon of the south, casting

every shred of decency to the winds.

—Just bears out what I was saying, he, with glowing bosom said to

Stephen, about blood and the sun. And, if I don’t greatly mistake she

was Spanish too.

—The king of Spain’s daughter, Stephen answered, adding something or

other rather muddled about farewell and adieu to you Spanish onions and

the first land called the Deadman and from Ramhead to Scilly was so and

so many.

—Was she? Bloom ejaculated, surprised though not astonished by any

means, I never heard that rumour before. Possible, especially there, it

was as she lived there. So, Spain.

Carefully avoiding a book in his pocket _Sweets of_, which reminded him

by the by of that Capel street library book out of date, he took out

his pocketbook and, turning over the various contents it contained

rapidly finally he.

—Do you consider, by the by, he said, thoughtfully selecting a faded

photo which he laid on the table, that a Spanish type?

Stephen, obviously addressed, looked down on the photo showing a large

sized lady with her fleshy charms on evidence in an open fashion as she

was in the full bloom of womanhood in evening dress cut ostentatiously

low for the occasion to give a liberal display of bosom, with more than

vision of breasts, her full lips parted and some perfect teeth,

standing near, ostensibly with gravity, a piano on the rest of which

was _In Old Madrid_, a ballad, pretty in its way, which was then all

the vogue. Her (the lady’s) eyes, dark, large, looked at Stephen, about

to smile about something to be admired, Lafayette of Westmoreland

street, Dublin’s premier photographic artist, being responsible for the

esthetic execution.

—Mrs Bloom, my wife the _prima donna_ Madam Marion Tweedy, Bloom

indicated. Taken a few years since. In or about ninety six. Very like

her then.

Beside the young man he looked also at the photo of the lady now his

legal wife who, he intimated, was the accomplished daughter of Major

Brian Tweedy and displayed at an early age remarkable proficiency as a

singer having even made her bow to the public when her years numbered

barely sweet sixteen. As for the face it was a speaking likeness in

expression but it did not do justice to her figure which came in for a

lot of notice usually and which did not come out to the best advantage

in that getup. She could without difficulty, he said, have posed for

the ensemble, not to dwell on certain opulent curves of the. He dwelt,

being a bit of an artist in his spare time, on the female form in

general developmentally because, as it so happened, no later than that

afternoon he had seen those Grecian statues, perfectly developed as

works of art, in the National Museum. Marble could give the original,

shoulders, back, all the symmetry, all the rest. Yes, puritanisme, it

does though, Saint Joseph’s sovereign thievery alors (Bandez!) Figne

toi trop. Whereas no photo could because it simply wasn’t art in a

word.

The spirit moving him he would much have liked to follow Jack Tar’s

good example and leave the likeness there for a very few minutes to

speak for itself on the plea he so that the other could drink in the

beauty for himself, her stage presence being, frankly, a treat in

itself which the camera could not at all do justice to. But it was

scarcely professional etiquette so. Though it was a warm pleasant sort

of a night now yet wonderfully cool for the season considering, for

sunshine after storm. And he did feel a kind of need there and then to

follow suit like a kind of inward voice and satisfy a possible need by

moving a motion. Nevertheless he sat tight just viewing the slightly

soiled photo creased by opulent curves, none the worse for wear

however, and looked away thoughtfully with the intention of not further

increasing the other’s possible embarrassment while gauging her

symmetry of heaving _embonpoint_. In fact the slight soiling was only

an added charm like the case of linen slightly soiled, good as new,

much better in fact with the starch out. Suppose she was gone when he?

I looked for the lamp which she told me came into his mind but merely

as a passing fancy of his because he then recollected the morning

littered bed etcetera and the book about Ruby with met him pike hoses

(_sic_) in it which must have fell down sufficiently appropriately

beside the domestic chamberpot with apologies to Lindley Murray.

The vicinity of the young man he certainly relished, educated,

_distingué_ and impulsive into the bargain, far and away the pick of

the bunch though you wouldn’t think he had it in him yet you would.

Besides he said the picture was handsome which, say what you like, it

was though at the moment she was distinctly stouter. And why not? An

awful lot of makebelieve went on about that sort of thing involving a

lifelong slur with the usual splash page of gutterpress about the same

old matrimonial tangle alleging misconduct with professional golfer or

the newest stage favourite instead of being honest and aboveboard about

the whole business. How they were fated to meet and an attachment

sprang up between the two so that their names were coupled in the

public eye was told in court with letters containing the habitual mushy

and compromising expressions leaving no loophole to show that they

openly cohabited two or three times a week at some wellknown seaside

hotel and relations, when the thing ran its normal course, became in

due course intimate. Then the decree _nisi_ and the King’s proctor

tries to show cause why and, he failing to quash it, _nisi_ was made

absolute. But as for that the two misdemeanants, wrapped up as they

largely were in one another, could safely afford to ignore it as they

very largely did till the matter was put in the hands of a solicitor

who filed a petition for the party wronged in due course. He, B,

enjoyed the distinction of being close to Erin’s uncrowned king in the

flesh when the thing occurred on the historic _fracas_ when the fallen

leader’s, who notoriously stuck to his guns to the last drop even when

clothed in the mantle of adultery, (leader’s) trusty henchmen to the

number of ten or a dozen or possibly even more than that penetrated

into the printing works of the _Insuppressible_ or no it was _United

Ireland_ (a by no means by the by appropriate appellative) and broke up

the typecases with hammers or something like that all on account of

some scurrilous effusions from the facile pens of the O’Brienite

scribes at the usual mudslinging occupation reflecting on the erstwhile

tribune’s private morals. Though palpably a radically altered man he

was still a commanding figure though carelessly garbed as usual with

that look of settled purpose which went a long way with the

shillyshallyers till they discovered to their vast discomfiture that

their idol had feet of clay after placing him upon a pedestal which

she, however, was the first to perceive. As those were particularly hot

times in the general hullaballoo Bloom sustained a minor injury from a

nasty prod of some chap’s elbow in the crowd that of course congregated

lodging some place about the pit of the stomach, fortunately not of a

grave character. His hat (Parnell’s) a silk one was inadvertently

knocked off and, as a matter of strict history, Bloom was the man who

picked it up in the crush after witnessing the occurrence meaning to

return it to him (and return it to him he did with the utmost celerity)

who panting and hatless and whose thoughts were miles away from his hat

at the time all the same being a gentleman born with a stake in the

country he, as a matter of fact, having gone into it more for the kudos

of the thing than anything else, what’s bred in the bone instilled into

him in infancy at his mother’s knee in the shape of knowing what good

form was came out at once because he turned round to the donor and

thanked him with perfect _aplomb_, saying: _Thank you, sir_, though in

a very different tone of voice from the ornament of the legal

profession whose headgear Bloom also set to rights earlier in the

course of the day, history repeating itself with a difference, after

the burial of a mutual friend when they had left him alone in his glory

after the grim task of having committed his remains to the grave.

On the other hand what incensed him more inwardly was the blatant jokes

of the cabman and so on who passed it all off as a jest, laughing

immoderately, pretending to understand everything, the why and the

wherefore, and in reality not knowing their own minds, it being a case

for the two parties themselves unless it ensued that the legitimate

husband happened to be a party to it owing to some anonymous letter

from the usual boy Jones, who happened to come across them at the

crucial moment in a loving position locked in one another’s arms,

drawing attention to their illicit proceedings and leading up to a

domestic rumpus and the erring fair one begging forgiveness of her lord

and master upon her knees and promising to sever the connection and not

receive his visits any more if only the aggrieved husband would

overlook the matter and let bygones be bygones with tears in her eyes

though possibly with her tongue in her fair cheek at the same time as

quite possibly there were several others. He personally, being of a

sceptical bias, believed and didn’t make the smallest bones about

saying so either that man or men in the plural were always hanging

around on the waiting list about a lady, even supposing she was the

best wife in the world and they got on fairly well together for the

sake of argument, when, neglecting her duties, she chose to be tired of

wedded life and was on for a little flutter in polite debauchery to

press their attentions on her with improper intent, the upshot being

that her affections centred on another, the cause of many _liaisons_

between still attractive married women getting on for fair and forty

and younger men, no doubt as several famous cases of feminine

infatuation proved up to the hilt.

It was a thousand pities a young fellow, blessed with an allowance of

brains as his neighbour obviously was, should waste his valuable time

with profligate women who might present him with a nice dose to last

him his lifetime. In the nature of single blessedness he would one day

take unto himself a wife when Miss Right came on the scene but in the

interim ladies’ society was a _conditio sine qua non_ though he had the

gravest possible doubts, not that he wanted in the smallest to pump

Stephen about Miss Ferguson (who was very possibly the particular

lodestar who brought him down to Irishtown so early in the morning), as

to whether he would find much satisfaction basking in the boy and girl

courtship idea and the company of smirking misses without a penny to

their names bi or triweekly with the orthodox preliminary canter of

complimentplaying and walking out leading up to fond lovers’ ways and

flowers and chocs. To think of him house and homeless, rooked by some

landlady worse than any stepmother, was really too bad at his age. The

queer suddenly things he popped out with attracted the elder man who

was several years the other’s senior or like his father but something

substantial he certainly ought to eat even were it only an eggflip made

on unadulterated maternal nutriment or, failing that, the homely Humpty

Dumpty boiled.

—At what o’clock did you dine? he questioned of the slim form and tired

though unwrinkled face.

—Some time yesterday, Stephen said.

—Yesterday! exclaimed Bloom till he remembered it was already tomorrow

Friday. Ah, you mean it’s after twelve!

—The day before yesterday, Stephen said, improving on himself.

Literally astounded at this piece of intelligence Bloom reflected.

Though they didn’t see eye to eye in everything a certain analogy there

somehow was as if both their minds were travelling, so to speak, in the

one train of thought. At his age when dabbling in politics roughly some

score of years previously when he had been a _quasi_ aspirant to

parliamentary honours in the Buckshot Foster days he too recollected in

retrospect (which was a source of keen satisfaction in itself) he had a

sneaking regard for those same ultra ideas. For instance when the

evicted tenants question, then at its first inception, bulked largely

in people’s mind though, it goes without saying, not contributing a

copper or pinning his faith absolutely to its dictums, some of which

wouldn’t exactly hold water, he at the outset in principle at all

events was in thorough sympathy with peasant possession as voicing the

trend of modern opinion (a partiality, however, which, realising his

mistake, he was subsequently partially cured of) and even was twitted

with going a step farther than Michael Davitt in the striking views he

at one time inculcated as a backtothelander, which was one reason he

strongly resented the innuendo put upon him in so barefaced a fashion

by our friend at the gathering of the clans in Barney Kiernan’s so that

he, though often considerably misunderstood and the least pugnacious of

mortals, be it repeated, departed from his customary habit to give him

(metaphorically) one in the gizzard though, so far as politics

themselves were concerned, he was only too conscious of the casualties

invariably resulting from propaganda and displays of mutual animosity

and the misery and suffering it entailed as a foregone conclusion on

fine young fellows, chiefly, destruction of the fittest, in a word.

Anyhow upon weighing up the pros and cons, getting on for one, as it

was, it was high time to be retiring for the night. The crux was it was

a bit risky to bring him home as eventualities might possibly ensue

(somebody having a temper of her own sometimes) and spoil the hash

altogether as on the night he misguidedly brought home a dog (breed

unknown) with a lame paw (not that the cases were either identical or

the reverse though he had hurt his hand too) to Ontario Terrace as he

very distinctly remembered, having been there, so to speak. On the

other hand it was altogether far and away too late for the Sandymount

or Sandycove suggestion so that he was in some perplexity as to which

of the two alternatives. Everything pointed to the fact that it behoved

him to avail himself to the full of the opportunity, all things

considered. His initial impression was he was a shade standoffish or

not over effusive but it grew on him someway. For one thing he mightn’t

what you call jump at the idea, if approached, and what mostly worried

him was he didn’t know how to lead up to it or word it exactly,

supposing he did entertain the proposal, as it would afford him very

great personal pleasure if he would allow him to help to put coin in

his way or some wardrobe, if found suitable. At all events he wound up

by concluding, eschewing for the nonce hidebound precedent, a cup of

Epps’s cocoa and a shakedown for the night plus the use of a rug or two

and overcoat doubled into a pillow at least he would be in safe hands

and as warm as a toast on a trivet he failed to perceive any very vast

amount of harm in that always with the proviso no rumpus of any sort

was kicked up. A move had to be made because that merry old soul, the

grasswidower in question who appeared to be glued to the spot, didn’t

appear in any particular hurry to wend his way home to his dearly

beloved Queenstown and it was highly likely some sponger’s bawdyhouse

of retired beauties where age was no bar off Sheriff street lower would

be the best clue to that equivocal character’s whereabouts for a few

days to come, alternately racking their feelings (the mermaids’) with

sixchamber revolver anecdotes verging on the tropical calculated to

freeze the marrow of anybody’s bones and mauling their largesized

charms betweenwhiles with rough and tumble gusto to the accompaniment

of large potations of potheen and the usual blarney about himself for

as to who he in reality was let x equal my right name and address, as

Mr Algebra remarks _passim_. At the same time he inwardly chuckled over

his gentle repartee to the blood and ouns champion about his god being

a jew. People could put up with being bitten by a wolf but what

properly riled them was a bite from a sheep. The most vulnerable point

too of tender Achilles. Your god was a jew. Because mostly they

appeared to imagine he came from Carrick-on-Shannon or somewhereabouts

in the county Sligo.

—I propose, our hero eventually suggested after mature reflection while

prudently pocketing her photo, as it’s rather stuffy here you just come

home with me and talk things over. My diggings are quite close in the

vicinity. You can’t drink that stuff. Do you like cocoa? Wait. I’ll

just pay this lot.

The best plan clearly being to clear out, the remainder being plain

sailing, he beckoned, while prudently pocketing the photo, to the

keeper of the shanty who didn’t seem to.

—Yes, that’s the best, he assured Stephen to whom for the matter of

that Brazen Head or him or anywhere else was all more or less.

All kinds of Utopian plans were flashing through his (B’s) busy brain,

education (the genuine article), literature, journalism, prize titbits,

up to date billing, concert tours in English watering resorts packed

with hydros and seaside theatres, turning money away, duets in Italian

with the accent perfectly true to nature and a quantity of other

things, no necessity, of course, to tell the world and his wife from

the housetops about it, and a slice of luck. An opening was all was

wanted. Because he more than suspected he had his father’s voice to

bank his hopes on which it was quite on the cards he had so it would be

just as well, by the way no harm, to trail the conversation in the

direction of that particular red herring just to.

The cabby read out of the paper he had got hold of that the former

viceroy, earl Cadogan, had presided at the cabdrivers’ association

dinner in London somewhere. Silence with a yawn or two accompanied this

thrilling announcement. Then the old specimen in the corner who

appeared to have some spark of vitality left read out that sir Anthony

MacDonnell had left Euston for the chief secretary’s lodge or words to

that effect. To which absorbing piece of intelligence echo answered

why.

—Give us a squint at that literature, grandfather, the ancient mariner

put in, manifesting some natural impatience.

—And welcome, answered the elderly party thus addressed.

The sailor lugged out from a case he had a pair of greenish goggles

which he very slowly hooked over his nose and both ears.

—Are you bad in the eyes? the sympathetic personage like the townclerk

queried.

—Why, answered the seafarer with the tartan beard, who seemingly was a

bit of a literary cove in his own small way, staring out of seagreen

portholes as you might well describe them as, I uses goggles reading.

Sand in the Red Sea done that. One time I could read a book in the

dark, manner of speaking. _The Arabian Nights Entertainment_ was my

favourite and _Red as a Rose is She._

Hereupon he pawed the journal open and pored upon Lord only knows what,

found drowned or the exploits of King Willow, Iremonger having made a

hundred and something second wicket not out for Notts, during which

time (completely regardless of Ire) the keeper was intensely occupied

loosening an apparently new or secondhand boot which manifestly pinched

him as he muttered against whoever it was sold it, all of them who were

sufficiently awake enough to be picked out by their facial expressions,

that is to say, either simply looking on glumly or passing a trivial

remark.

To cut a long story short Bloom, grasping the situation, was the first

to rise from his seat so as not to outstay their welcome having first

and foremost, being as good as his word that he would foot the bill for

the occasion, taken the wise precaution to unobtrusively motion to mine

host as a parting shot a scarcely perceptible sign when the others were

not looking to the effect that the amount due was forthcoming, making a

grand total of fourpence (the amount he deposited unobtrusively in four

coppers, literally the last of the Mohicans), he having previously

spotted on the printed pricelist for all who ran to read opposite him

in unmistakable figures, coffee 2d, confectionery do, and honestly well

worth twice the money once in a way, as Wetherup used to remark.

—Come, he counselled to close the _séance_.

Seeing that the ruse worked and the coast was clear they left the

shelter or shanty together and the _élite_ society of oilskin and

company whom nothing short of an earthquake would move out of their

_dolce far niente_. Stephen, who confessed to still feeling poorly and

fagged out, paused at the, for a moment, the door.

—One thing I never understood, he said to be original on the spur of

the moment. Why they put tables upside down at night, I mean chairs

upside down, on the tables in cafés. To which impromptu the

neverfailing Bloom replied without a moment’s hesitation, saying

straight off:

—To sweep the floor in the morning.

So saying he skipped around, nimbly considering, frankly at the same

time apologetic to get on his companion’s right, a habit of his, by the

bye, his right side being, in classical idiom, his tender Achilles. The

night air was certainly now a treat to breathe though Stephen was a bit

weak on his pins.

—It will (the air) do you good, Bloom said, meaning also the walk, in a

moment. The only thing is to walk then you’ll feel a different man.

Come. It’s not far. Lean on me.

Accordingly he passed his left arm in Stephen’s right and led him on

accordingly.

—Yes, Stephen said uncertainly because he thought he felt a strange

kind of flesh of a different man approach him, sinewless and wobbly and

all that.

Anyhow they passed the sentrybox with stones, brazier etc. where the

municipal supernumerary, ex Gumley, was still to all intents and

purposes wrapped in the arms of Murphy, as the adage has it, dreaming

of fresh fields and pastures new. And _apropos_ of coffin of stones the

analogy was not at all bad as it was in fact a stoning to death on the

part of seventytwo out of eighty odd constituencies that ratted at the

time of the split and chiefly the belauded peasant class, probably the

selfsame evicted tenants he had put in their holdings.

So they turned on to chatting about music, a form of art for which

Bloom, as a pure amateur, possessed the greatest love, as they made

tracks arm in arm across Beresford place. Wagnerian music, though

confessedly grand in its way, was a bit too heavy for Bloom and hard to

follow at the first go-off but the music of Mercadante’s _Huguenots_,

Meyerbeer’s _Seven Last Words on the Cross_ and Mozart’s _Twelfth Mass_

he simply revelled in, the _Gloria_ in that being, to his mind, the

acme of first class music as such, literally knocking everything else

into a cocked hat. He infinitely preferred the sacred music of the

catholic church to anything the opposite shop could offer in that line

such as those Moody and Sankey hymns or _Bid me to live and I will live

thy protestant to be_. He also yielded to none in his admiration of

Rossini’s _Stabat Mater_, a work simply abounding in immortal numbers,

in which his wife, Madam Marion Tweedy, made a hit, a veritable

sensation, he might safely say, greatly adding to her other laurels and

putting the others totally in the shade, in the jesuit fathers’ church

in upper Gardiner street, the sacred edifice being thronged to the

doors to hear her with virtuosos, or _virtuosi_ rather. There was the

unanimous opinion that there was none to come up to her and suffice it

to say in a place of worship for music of a sacred character there was

a generally voiced desire for an encore. On the whole though favouring

preferably light opera of the _Don Giovanni_ description and _Martha_,

a gem in its line, he had a _penchant_, though with only a surface

knowledge, for the severe classical school such as Mendelssohn. And

talking of that, taking it for granted he knew all about the old

favourites, he mentioned _par excellence_ Lionel’s air in _Martha,

M’appari_, which, curiously enough, he had heard or overheard, to be

more accurate, on yesterday, a privilege he keenly appreciated, from

the lips of Stephen’s respected father, sung to perfection, a study of

the number, in fact, which made all the others take a back seat.

Stephen, in reply to a politely put query, said he didn’t sing it but

launched out into praises of Shakespeare’s songs, at least of in or

about that period, the lutenist Dowland who lived in Fetter lane near

Gerard the herbalist, who _anno ludendo hausi, Doulandus_, an

instrument he was contemplating purchasing from Mr Arnold Dolmetsch,

whom B. did not quite recall though the name certainly sounded

familiar, for sixtyfive guineas and Farnaby and son with their _dux_

and _comes_ conceits and Byrd (William) who played the virginals, he

said, in the Queen’s chapel or anywhere else he found them and one

Tomkins who made toys or airs and John Bull.

On the roadway which they were approaching whilst still speaking beyond

the swingchains a horse, dragging a sweeper, paced on the paven ground,

brushing a long swathe of mire up so that with the noise Bloom was not

perfectly certain whether he had caught aright the allusion to

sixtyfive guineas and John Bull. He inquired if it was John Bull the

political celebrity of that ilk, as it struck him, the two identical

names, as a striking coincidence.

By the chains the horse slowly swerved to turn, which perceiving,

Bloom, who was keeping a sharp lookout as usual, plucked the other’s

sleeve gently, jocosely remarking:

—Our lives are in peril tonight. Beware of the steamroller.

They thereupon stopped. Bloom looked at the head of a horse not worth

anything like sixtyfive guineas, suddenly in evidence in the dark quite

near so that it seemed new, a different grouping of bones and even

flesh because palpably it was a fourwalker, a hipshaker, a

blackbuttocker, a taildangler, a headhanger putting his hind foot

foremost the while the lord of his creation sat on the perch, busy with

his thoughts. But such a good poor brute he was sorry he hadn’t a lump

of sugar but, as he wisely reflected, you could scarcely be prepared

for every emergency that might crop up. He was just a big nervous

foolish noodly kind of a horse, without a second care in the world. But

even a dog, he reflected, take that mongrel in Barney Kiernan’s, of the

same size, would be a holy horror to face. But it was no animal’s fault

in particular if he was built that way like the camel, ship of the

desert, distilling grapes into potheen in his hump. Nine tenths of them

all could be caged or trained, nothing beyond the art of man barring

the bees. Whale with a harpoon hairpin, alligator tickle the small of

his back and he sees the joke, chalk a circle for a rooster, tiger my

eagle eye. These timely reflections anent the brutes of the field

occupied his mind somewhat distracted from Stephen’s words while the

ship of the street was manœuvring and Stephen went on about the highly

interesting old.

—What’s this I was saying? Ah, yes! My wife, he intimated, plunging _in

medias res_, would have the greatest of pleasure in making your

acquaintance as she is passionately attached to music of any kind.

He looked sideways in a friendly fashion at the sideface of Stephen,

image of his mother, which was not quite the same as the usual handsome

blackguard type they unquestionably had an insatiable hankering after

as he was perhaps not that way built.

Still, supposing he had his father’s gift as he more than suspected, it

opened up new vistas in his mind such as Lady Fingall’s Irish

industries, concert on the preceding Monday, and aristocracy in

general.

Exquisite variations he was now describing on an air _Youth here has

End_ by Jans Pieter Sweelinck, a Dutchman of Amsterdam where the frows

come from. Even more he liked an old German song of _Johannes Jeep_

about the clear sea and the voices of sirens, sweet murderers of men,

which boggled Bloom a bit:

Von der Sirenen Listigkeit

Tun die Poeten dichten.

These opening bars he sang and translated _extempore_. Bloom, nodding,

said he perfectly understood and begged him to go on by all means which

he did.

A phenomenally beautiful tenor voice like that, the rarest of boons,

which Bloom appreciated at the very first note he got out, could

easily, if properly handled by some recognised authority on voice

production such as Barraclough and being able to read music into the

bargain, command its own price where baritones were ten a penny and

procure for its fortunate possessor in the near future an _entrée_ into

fashionable houses in the best residential quarters of financial

magnates in a large way of business and titled people where with his

university degree of B. A. (a huge ad in its way) and gentlemanly

bearing to all the more influence the good impression he would

infallibly score a distinct success, being blessed with brains which

also could be utilised for the purpose and other requisites, if his

clothes were properly attended to so as to the better worm his way into

their good graces as he, a youthful tyro in society’s sartorial

niceties, hardly understood how a little thing like that could militate

against you. It was in fact only a matter of months and he could easily

foresee him participating in their musical and artistic

_conversaziones_ during the festivities of the Christmas season, for

choice, causing a slight flutter in the dovecotes of the fair sex and

being made a lot of by ladies out for sensation, cases of which, as he

happened to know, were on record—in fact, without giving the show away,

he himself once upon a time, if he cared to, could easily have. Added

to which of course would be the pecuniary emolument by no means to be

sneezed at, going hand in hand with his tuition fees. Not, he

parenthesised, that for the sake of filthy lucre he need necessarily

embrace the lyric platform as a walk in life for any lengthy space of

time. But a step in the required direction it was beyond yea or nay and

both monetarily and mentally it contained no reflection on his dignity

in the smallest and it often turned in uncommonly handy to be handed a

cheque at a muchneeded moment when every little helped. Besides, though

taste latterly had deteriorated to a degree, original music like that,

different from the conventional rut, would rapidly have a great vogue

as it would be a decided novelty for Dublin’s musical world after the

usual hackneyed run of catchy tenor solos foisted on a confiding public

by Ivan St Austell and Hilton St Just and their _genus omne_. Yes,

beyond a shadow of a doubt he could with all the cards in his hand and

he had a capital opening to make a name for himself and win a high

place in the city’s esteem where he could command a stiff figure and,

booking ahead, give a grand concert for the patrons of the King street

house, given a backerup, if one were forthcoming to kick him upstairs,

so to speak, a big _if_, however, with some impetus of the goahead sort

to obviate the inevitable procrastination which often tripped up a too

much fêted prince of good fellows. And it need not detract from the

other by one iota as, being his own master, he would have heaps of time

to practise literature in his spare moments when desirous of so doing

without its clashing with his vocal career or containing anything

derogatory whatsoever as it was a matter for himself alone. In fact, he

had the ball at his feet and that was the very reason why the other,

possessed of a remarkably sharp nose for smelling a rat of any sort,

hung on to him at all.

The horse was just then. And later on at a propitious opportunity he

purposed (Bloom did), without anyway prying into his private affairs on

the _fools step in where angels_ principle, advising him to sever his

connection with a certain budding practitioner who, he noticed, was

prone to disparage and even to a slight extent with some hilarious

pretext when not present, deprecate him, or whatever you like to call

it which in Bloom’s humble opinion threw a nasty sidelight on that side

of a person’s character, no pun intended.

The horse having reached the end of his tether, so to speak, halted

and, rearing high a proud feathering tail, added his quota by letting

fall on the floor which the brush would soon brush up and polish, three

smoking globes of turds. Slowly three times, one after another, from a

full crupper he mired. And humanely his driver waited till he (or she)

had ended, patient in his scythed car.

Side by side Bloom, profiting by the _contretemps_, with Stephen passed

through the gap of the chains, divided by the upright, and, stepping

over a strand of mire, went across towards Gardiner street lower,

Stephen singing more boldly, but not loudly, the end of the ballad.

Und alle Schiffe brücken.

The driver never said a word, good, bad or indifferent, but merely

watched the two figures, as he sat on his lowbacked car, both black,

one full, one lean, walk towards the railway bridge, _to be married by

Father Maher_. As they walked they at times stopped and walked again

continuing their _tête à tête_ (which, of course, he was utterly out

of) about sirens, enemies of man’s reason, mingled with a number of

other topics of the same category, usurpers, historical cases of the

kind while the man in the sweeper car or you might as well call it in

the sleeper car who in any case couldn’t possibly hear because they

were too far simply sat in his seat near the end of lower Gardiner

street _and looked after their lowbacked car_.

[ 17 ]

What parallel courses did Bloom and Stephen follow returning?

Starting united both at normal walking pace from Beresford place they

followed in the order named Lower and Middle Gardiner streets and

Mountjoy square, west: then, at reduced pace, each bearing left,

Gardiner’s place by an inadvertence as far as the farther corner of

Temple street: then, at reduced pace with interruptions of halt,

bearing right, Temple street, north, as far as Hardwicke place.

Approaching, disparate, at relaxed walking pace they crossed both the

circus before George’s church diametrically, the chord in any circle

being less than the arc which it subtends.

Of what did the duumvirate deliberate during their itinerary?

Music, literature, Ireland, Dublin, Paris, friendship, woman,

prostitution, diet, the influence of gaslight or the light of arc and

glowlamps on the growth of adjoining paraheliotropic trees, exposed

corporation emergency dustbuckets, the Roman catholic church,

ecclesiastical celibacy, the Irish nation, jesuit education, careers,

the study of medicine, the past day, the maleficent influence of the

presabbath, Stephen’s collapse.

Did Bloom discover common factors of similarity between their

respective like and unlike reactions to experience?

Both were sensitive to artistic impressions, musical in preference to

plastic or pictorial. Both preferred a continental to an insular manner

of life, a cisatlantic to a transatlantic place of residence. Both

indurated by early domestic training and an inherited tenacity of

heterodox resistance professed their disbelief in many orthodox

religious, national, social and ethical doctrines. Both admitted the

alternately stimulating and obtunding influence of heterosexual

magnetism.

Were their views on some points divergent?

Stephen dissented openly from Bloom’s views on the importance of

dietary and civic selfhelp while Bloom dissented tacitly from Stephen’s

views on the eternal affirmation of the spirit of man in literature.

Bloom assented covertly to Stephen’s rectification of the anachronism

involved in assigning the date of the conversion of the Irish nation to

christianity from druidism by Patrick son of Calpornus, son of Potitus,

son of Odyssus, sent by pope Celestine I in the year 432 in the reign

of Leary to the year 260 or thereabouts in the reign of Cormac MacArt

(† 266 A.D.), suffocated by imperfect deglutition of aliment at Sletty

and interred at Rossnaree. The collapse which Bloom ascribed to gastric

inanition and certain chemical compounds of varying degrees of

adulteration and alcoholic strength, accelerated by mental exertion and

the velocity of rapid circular motion in a relaxing atmosphere, Stephen

attributed to the reapparition of a matutinal cloud (perceived by both

from two different points of observation Sandycove and Dublin) at first

no bigger than a woman’s hand.

Was there one point on which their views were equal and negative?

The influence of gaslight or electric light on the growth of adjoining

paraheliotropic trees.

Had Bloom discussed similar subjects during nocturnal perambulations in

the past?

In 1884 with Owen Goldberg and Cecil Turnbull at night on public

thoroughfares between Longwood avenue and Leonard’s corner and

Leonard’s corner and Synge street and Synge street and Bloomfield

avenue. In 1885 with Percy Apjohn in the evenings, reclined against the

wall between Gibraltar villa and Bloomfield house in Crumlin, barony of

Uppercross. In 1886 occasionally with casual acquaintances and

prospective purchasers on doorsteps, in front parlours, in third class

railway carriages of suburban lines. In 1888 frequently with major

Brian Tweedy and his daughter Miss Marion Tweedy, together and

separately on the lounge in Matthew Dillon’s house in Roundtown. Once

in 1892 and once in 1893 with Julius (Juda) Mastiansky, on both

occasions in the parlour of his (Bloom’s) house in Lombard street,

west.

What reflection concerning the irregular sequence of dates 1884, 1885,

1886, 1888, 1892, 1893, 1904 did Bloom make before their arrival at

their destination?

He reflected that the progressive extension of the field of individual

development and experience was regressively accompanied by a

restriction of the converse domain of interindividual relations.

As in what ways?

From inexistence to existence he came to many and was as one received:

existence with existence he was with any as any with any: from

existence to nonexistence gone he would be by all as none perceived.

What act did Bloom make on their arrival at their destination?

At the housesteps of the 4th of the equidifferent uneven numbers,

number 7 Eccles street, he inserted his hand mechanically into the back

pocket of his trousers to obtain his latchkey.

Was it there?

It was in the corresponding pocket of the trousers which he had worn on

the day but one preceding.

Why was he doubly irritated?

Because he had forgotten and because he remembered that he had reminded

himself twice not to forget.

What were then the alternatives before the, premeditatedly

(respectively) and inadvertently, keyless couple?

To enter or not to enter. To knock or not to knock.

Bloom’s decision?

A stratagem. Resting his feet on the dwarf wall, he climbed over the

area railings, compressed his hat on his head, grasped two points at

the lower union of rails and stiles, lowered his body gradually by its

length of five feet nine inches and a half to within two feet ten

inches of the area pavement and allowed his body to move freely in

space by separating himself from the railings and crouching in

preparation for the impact of the fall.

Did he fall?

By his body’s known weight of eleven stone and four pounds in

avoirdupois measure, as certified by the graduated machine for

periodical selfweighing in the premises of Francis Froedman,

pharmaceutical chemist of 19 Frederick street, north, on the last feast

of the Ascension, to wit, the twelfth day of May of the bissextile year

one thousand nine hundred and four of the christian era (jewish era

five thousand six hundred and sixtyfour, mohammadan era one thousand

three hundred and twentytwo), golden number 5, epact 13, solar cycle 9,

dominical letters C B, Roman indiction 2, Julian period 6617, MCMIV.

Did he rise uninjured by concussion?

Regaining new stable equilibrium he rose uninjured though concussed by

the impact, raised the latch of the area door by the exertion of force

at its freely moving flange and by leverage of the first kind applied

at its fulcrum, gained retarded access to the kitchen through the

subadjacent scullery, ignited a lucifer match by friction, set free

inflammable coal gas by turning on the ventcock, lit a high flame

which, by regulating, he reduced to quiescent candescence and lit

finally a portable candle.

What discrete succession of images did Stephen meanwhile perceive?

Reclined against the area railings he perceived through the transparent

kitchen panes a man regulating a gasflame of 14 CP, a man lighting a

candle of 1 CP, a man removing in turn each of his two boots, a man

leaving the kitchen holding a candle.

Did the man reappear elsewhere?

After a lapse of four minutes the glimmer of his candle was discernible

through the semitransparent semicircular glass fanlight over the

halldoor. The halldoor turned gradually on its hinges. In the open

space of the doorway the man reappeared without his hat, with his

candle.

Did Stephen obey his sign?

Yes, entering softly, he helped to close and chain the door and

followed softly along the hallway the man’s back and listed feet and

lighted candle past a lighted crevice of doorway on the left and

carefully down a turning staircase of more than five steps into the

kitchen of Bloom’s house.

What did Bloom do?

He extinguished the candle by a sharp expiration of breath upon its

flame, drew two spoonseat deal chairs to the hearthstone, one for

Stephen with its back to the area window, the other for himself when

necessary, knelt on one knee, composed in the grate a pyre of crosslaid

resintipped sticks and various coloured papers and irregular polygons

of best Abram coal at twentyone shillings a ton from the yard of Messrs

Flower and M’Donald of 14 D’Olier street, kindled it at three

projecting points of paper with one ignited lucifer match, thereby

releasing the potential energy contained in the fuel by allowing its

carbon and hydrogen elements to enter into free union with the oxygen

of the air.

Of what similar apparitions did Stephen think?

Of others elsewhere in other times who, kneeling on one knee or on two,

had kindled fires for him, of Brother Michael in the infirmary of the

college of the Society of Jesus at Clongowes Wood, Sallins, in the

county of Kildare: of his father, Simon Dedalus, in an unfurnished room

of his first residence in Dublin, number thirteen Fitzgibbon street: of

his godmother Miss Kate Morkan in the house of her dying sister Miss

Julia Morkan at 15 Usher’s Island: of his aunt Sara, wife of Richie

(Richard) Goulding, in the kitchen of their lodgings at 62 Clanbrassil

street: of his mother Mary, wife of Simon Dedalus, in the kitchen of

number twelve North Richmond street on the morning of the feast of

Saint Francis Xavier 1898: of the dean of studies, Father Butt, in the

physics’ theatre of university College, 16 Stephen’s Green, north: of

his sister Dilly (Delia) in his father’s house in Cabra.

What did Stephen see on raising his gaze to the height of a yard from

the fire towards the opposite wall?

Under a row of five coiled spring housebells a curvilinear rope,

stretched between two holdfasts athwart across the recess beside the

chimney pier, from which hung four smallsized square handkerchiefs

folded unattached consecutively in adjacent rectangles and one pair of

ladies’ grey hose with Lisle suspender tops and feet in their habitual

position clamped by three erect wooden pegs two at their outer

extremities and the third at their point of junction.

What did Bloom see on the range?

On the right (smaller) hob a blue enamelled saucepan: on the left

(larger) hob a black iron kettle.

What did Bloom do at the range?

He removed the saucepan to the left hob, rose and carried the iron

kettle to the sink in order to tap the current by turning the faucet to

let it flow.

Did it flow?

Yes. From Roundwood reservoir in county Wicklow of a cubic capacity of

2400 million gallons, percolating through a subterranean aqueduct of

filter mains of single and double pipeage constructed at an initial

plant cost of £ 5 per linear yard by way of the Dargle, Rathdown, Glen

of the Downs and Callowhill to the 26 acre reservoir at Stillorgan, a

distance of 22 statute miles, and thence, through a system of relieving

tanks, by a gradient of 250 feet to the city boundary at Eustace

bridge, upper Leeson street, though from prolonged summer drouth and

daily supply of 12 1/2 million gallons the water had fallen below the

sill of the overflow weir for which reason the borough surveyor and

waterworks engineer, Mr Spencer Harty, C. E., on the instructions of

the waterworks committee had prohibited the use of municipal water for

purposes other than those of consumption (envisaging the possibility of

recourse being had to the impotable water of the Grand and Royal canals

as in 1893) particularly as the South Dublin Guardians, notwithstanding

their ration of 15 gallons per day per pauper supplied through a 6 inch

meter, had been convicted of a wastage of 20,000 gallons per night by a

reading of their meter on the affirmation of the law agent of the

corporation, Mr Ignatius Rice, solicitor, thereby acting to the

detriment of another section of the public, selfsupporting taxpayers,

solvent, sound.

What in water did Bloom, waterlover, drawer of water, watercarrier,

returning to the range, admire?

Its universality: its democratic equality and constancy to its nature

in seeking its own level: its vastness in the ocean of Mercator’s

projection: its unplumbed profundity in the Sundam trench of the

Pacific exceeding 8000 fathoms: the restlessness of its waves and

surface particles visiting in turn all points of its seaboard: the

independence of its units: the variability of states of sea: its

hydrostatic quiescence in calm: its hydrokinetic turgidity in neap and

spring tides: its subsidence after devastation: its sterility in the

circumpolar icecaps, arctic and antarctic: its climatic and commercial

significance: its preponderance of 3 to 1 over the dry land of the

globe: its indisputable hegemony extending in square leagues over all

the region below the subequatorial tropic of Capricorn: the

multisecular stability of its primeval basin: its luteofulvous bed: its

capacity to dissolve and hold in solution all soluble substances

including millions of tons of the most precious metals: its slow

erosions of peninsulas and islands, its persistent formation of

homothetic islands, peninsulas and downwardtending promontories: its

alluvial deposits: its weight and volume and density: its

imperturbability in lagoons and highland tarns: its gradation of

colours in the torrid and temperate and frigid zones: its vehicular

ramifications in continental lakecontained streams and confluent

oceanflowing rivers with their tributaries and transoceanic currents,

gulfstream, north and south equatorial courses: its violence in

seaquakes, waterspouts, Artesian wells, eruptions, torrents, eddies,

freshets, spates, groundswells, watersheds, waterpartings, geysers,

cataracts, whirlpools, maelstroms, inundations, deluges, cloudbursts:

its vast circumterrestrial ahorizontal curve: its secrecy in springs

and latent humidity, revealed by rhabdomantic or hygrometric

instruments and exemplified by the well by the hole in the wall at

Ashtown gate, saturation of air, distillation of dew: the simplicity of

its composition, two constituent parts of hydrogen with one constituent

part of oxygen: its healing virtues: its buoyancy in the waters of the

Dead Sea: its persevering penetrativeness in runnels, gullies,

inadequate dams, leaks on shipboard: its properties for cleansing,

quenching thirst and fire, nourishing vegetation: its infallibility as

paradigm and paragon: its metamorphoses as vapour, mist, cloud, rain,

sleet, snow, hail: its strength in rigid hydrants: its variety of forms

in loughs and bays and gulfs and bights and guts and lagoons and atolls

and archipelagos and sounds and fjords and minches and tidal estuaries

and arms of sea: its solidity in glaciers, icebergs, icefloes: its

docility in working hydraulic millwheels, turbines, dynamos, electric

power stations, bleachworks, tanneries, scutchmills: its utility in

canals, rivers, if navigable, floating and graving docks: its

potentiality derivable from harnessed tides or watercourses falling

from level to level: its submarine fauna and flora (anacoustic,

photophobe), numerically, if not literally, the inhabitants of the

globe: its ubiquity as constituting 90

% of the human body: the noxiousness of its effluvia in lacustrine

% marshes,

pestilential fens, faded flowerwater, stagnant pools in the waning

moon.

Having set the halffilled kettle on the now burning coals, why did he

return to the stillflowing tap?

To wash his soiled hands with a partially consumed tablet of

Barrington’s lemonflavoured soap, to which paper still adhered, (bought

thirteen hours previously for fourpence and still unpaid for), in fresh

cold neverchanging everchanging water and dry them, face and hands, in

a long redbordered holland cloth passed over a wooden revolving roller.

What reason did Stephen give for declining Bloom’s offer?

That he was hydrophobe, hating partial contact by immersion or total by

submersion in cold water, (his last bath having taken place in the

month of October of the preceding year), disliking the aqueous

substances of glass and crystal, distrusting aquacities of thought and

language.

What impeded Bloom from giving Stephen counsels of hygiene and

prophylactic to which should be added suggestions concerning a

preliminary wetting of the head and contraction of the muscles with

rapid splashing of the face and neck and thoracic and epigastric region

in case of sea or river bathing, the parts of the human anatomy most

sensitive to cold being the nape, stomach and thenar or sole of foot?

The incompatibility of aquacity with the erratic originality of genius.

What additional didactic counsels did he similarly repress?

Dietary: concerning the respective percentage of protein and caloric

energy in bacon, salt ling and butter, the absence of the former in the

lastnamed and the abundance of the latter in the firstnamed.

Which seemed to the host to be the predominant qualities of his guest?

Confidence in himself, an equal and opposite power of abandonment and

recuperation.

What concomitant phenomenon took place in the vessel of liquid by the

agency of fire?

The phenomenon of ebullition. Fanned by a constant updraught of

ventilation between the kitchen and the chimneyflue, ignition was

communicated from the faggots of precombustible fuel to polyhedral

masses of bituminous coal, containing in compressed mineral form the

foliated fossilised decidua of primeval forests which had in turn

derived their vegetative existence from the sun, primal source of heat

(radiant), transmitted through omnipresent luminiferous diathermanous

ether. Heat (convected), a mode of motion developed by such combustion,

was constantly and increasingly conveyed from the source of

calorification to the liquid contained in the vessel, being radiated

through the uneven unpolished dark surface of the metal iron, in part

reflected, in part absorbed, in part transmitted, gradually raising the

temperature of the water from normal to boiling point, a rise in

temperature expressible as the result of an expenditure of 72 thermal

units needed to raise 1 pound of water from 50° to 212° Fahrenheit.

What announced the accomplishment of this rise in temperature?

A double falciform ejection of water vapour from under the kettlelid at

both sides simultaneously.

For what personal purpose could Bloom have applied the water so boiled?

To shave himself.

What advantages attended shaving by night?

A softer beard: a softer brush if intentionally allowed to remain from

shave to shave in its agglutinated lather: a softer skin if

unexpectedly encountering female acquaintances in remote places at

incustomary hours: quiet reflections upon the course of the day: a

cleaner sensation when awaking after a fresher sleep since matutinal

noises, premonitions and perturbations, a clattered milkcan, a

postman’s double knock, a paper read, reread while lathering,

relathering the same spot, a shock, a shoot, with thought of aught he

sought though fraught with nought might cause a faster rate of shaving

and a nick on which incision plaster with precision cut and humected

and applied adhered: which was to be done.

Why did absence of light disturb him less than presence of noise?

Because of the surety of the sense of touch in his firm full masculine

feminine passive active hand.

What quality did it (his hand) possess but with what counteracting

influence?

The operative surgical quality but that he was reluctant to shed human

blood even when the end justified the means, preferring, in their

natural order, heliotherapy, psychophysicotherapeutics, osteopathic

surgery.

What lay under exposure on the lower, middle and upper shelves of the

kitchen dresser, opened by Bloom?

On the lower shelf five vertical breakfast plates, six horizontal

breakfast saucers on which rested inverted breakfast cups, a

moustachecup, uninverted, and saucer of Crown Derby, four white

goldrimmed eggcups, an open shammy purse displaying coins, mostly

copper, and a phial of aromatic (violet) comfits. On the middle shelf a

chipped eggcup containing pepper, a drum of table salt, four

conglomerated black olives in oleaginous paper, an empty pot of

Plumtree’s potted meat, an oval wicker basket bedded with fibre and

containing one Jersey pear, a halfempty bottle of William Gilbey and

Co’s white invalid port, half disrobed of its swathe of coralpink

tissue paper, a packet of Epps’s soluble cocoa, five ounces of Anne

Lynch’s choice tea at 2/- per lb in a crinkled leadpaper bag, a

cylindrical canister containing the best crystallised lump sugar, two

onions, one, the larger, Spanish, entire, the other, smaller, Irish,

bisected with augmented surface and more redolent, a jar of Irish Model

Dairy’s cream, a jug of brown crockery containing a naggin and a

quarter of soured adulterated milk, converted by heat into water,

acidulous serum and semisolidified curds, which added to the quantity

subtracted for Mr Bloom’s and Mrs Fleming’s breakfasts, made one

imperial pint, the total quantity originally delivered, two cloves, a

halfpenny and a small dish containing a slice of fresh ribsteak. On the

upper shelf a battery of jamjars (empty) of various sizes and

proveniences.

What attracted his attention lying on the apron of the dresser?

Four polygonal fragments of two lacerated scarlet betting tickets,

numbered 8 87, 88 6.

What reminiscences temporarily corrugated his brow?

Reminiscences of coincidences, truth stranger than fiction,

preindicative of the result of the Gold Cup flat handicap, the official

and definitive result of which he had read in the _Evening Telegraph_,

late pink edition, in the cabman’s shelter, at Butt bridge.

Where had previous intimations of the result, effected or projected,

been received by him?

In Bernard Kiernan’s licensed premises 8, 9 and 10 little Britain

street: in David Byrne’s licensed premises, 14 Duke street: in

O’Connell street lower, outside Graham Lemon’s when a dark man had

placed in his hand a throwaway (subsequently thrown away), advertising

Elijah, restorer of the church in Zion: in Lincoln place outside the

premises of F. W. Sweny and Co (Limited), dispensing chemists, when,

when Frederick M. (Bantam) Lyons had rapidly and successively

requested, perused and restituted the copy of the current issue of the

_Freeman’s Journal_ and _National Press_ which he had been about to

throw away (subsequently thrown away), he had proceeded towards the

oriental edifice of the Turkish and Warm Baths, 11 Leinster street,

with the light of inspiration shining in his countenance and bearing in

his arms the secret of the race, graven in the language of prediction.

What qualifying considerations allayed his perturbations?

The difficulties of interpretation since the significance of any event

followed its occurrence as variably as the acoustic report followed the

electrical discharge and of counterestimating against an actual loss by

failure to interpret the total sum of possible losses proceeding

originally from a successful interpretation.

His mood?

He had not risked, he did not expect, he had not been disappointed, he

was satisfied.

What satisfied him?

To have sustained no positive loss. To have brought a positive gain to

others. Light to the gentiles.

How did Bloom prepare a collation for a gentile?

He poured into two teacups two level spoonfuls, four in all, of Epps’s

soluble cocoa and proceeded according to the directions for use printed

on the label, to each adding after sufficient time for infusion the

prescribed ingredients for diffusion in the manner and in the quantity

prescribed.

What supererogatory marks of special hospitality did the host show his

guest?

Relinquishing his symposiarchal right to the moustache cup of imitation

Crown Derby presented to him by his only daughter, Millicent (Milly),

he substituted a cup identical with that of his guest and served

extraordinarily to his guest and, in reduced measure, to himself the

viscous cream ordinarily reserved for the breakfast of his wife Marion

(Molly).

Was the guest conscious of and did he acknowledge these marks of

hospitality?

His attention was directed to them by his host jocosely, and he

accepted them seriously as they drank in jocoserious silence Epps’s

massproduct, the creature cocoa.

Were there marks of hospitality which he contemplated but suppressed,

reserving them for another and for himself on future occasions to

complete the act begun?

The reparation of a fissure of the length of 1 1/2 inches in the right

side of his guest’s jacket. A gift to his guest of one of the four

lady’s handkerchiefs, if and when ascertained to be in a presentable

condition.

Who drank more quickly?

Bloom, having the advantage of ten seconds at the initiation and

taking, from the concave surface of a spoon along the handle of which a

steady flow of heat was conducted, three sips to his opponent’s one,

six to two, nine to three.

What cerebration accompanied his frequentative act?

Concluding by inspection but erroneously that his silent companion was

engaged in mental composition he reflected on the pleasures derived

from literature of instruction rather than of amusement as he himself

had applied to the works of William Shakespeare more than once for the

solution of difficult problems in imaginary or real life.

Had he found their solution?

In spite of careful and repeated reading of certain classical passages,

aided by a glossary, he had derived imperfect conviction from the text,

the answers not bearing in all points.

What lines concluded his first piece of original verse written by him,

potential poet, at the age of 11 in 1877 on the occasion of the

offering of three prizes of 10/-, 5/- and 2/6 respectively for

competition by the _Shamrock_, a weekly newspaper?

An ambition to squint

At my verses in print

Makes me hope that for these you’ll find room.

If you so condescend

Then please place at the end

The name of yours truly, L. Bloom.

Did he find four separating forces between his temporary guest and him?

Name, age, race, creed.

What anagrams had he made on his name in youth?

Leopold Bloom

Ellpodbomool

Molldopeloob

Bollopedoom

Old Ollebo, M. P.

What acrostic upon the abbreviation of his first name had he (kinetic

poet) sent to Miss Marion (Molly) Tweedy on the 14 February 1888?

Poets oft have sung in rhyme

Of music sweet their praise divine.

Let them hymn it nine times nine.

Dearer far than song or wine.

You are mine. The world is mine.

What had prevented him from completing a topical song (music by R. G.

Johnston) on the events of the past, or fixtures for the actual, years,

entitled _If Brian Boru could but come back and see old Dublin now_,

commissioned by Michael Gunn, lessee of the Gaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48,

49 South King street, and to be introduced into the sixth scene, the

valley of diamonds, of the second edition (30 January 1893) of the

grand annual Christmas pantomime _Sinbad the Sailor_ (produced by R.

Shelton 26 December 1892, written by Greenleaf Whittier, scenery by

George A. Jackson and Cecil Hicks, costumes by Mrs and Miss Whelan

under the personal supervision of Mrs Michael Gunn, ballets by Jessie

Noir, harlequinade by Thomas Otto) and sung by Nelly Bouverist,

principal girl?

Firstly, oscillation between events of imperial and of local interest,

the anticipated diamond jubilee of Queen Victoria (born 1820, acceded

1837) and the posticipated opening of the new municipal fish market:

secondly, apprehension of opposition from extreme circles on the

questions of the respective visits of Their Royal Highnesses the duke

and duchess of York (real) and of His Majesty King Brian Boru

(imaginary): thirdly, a conflict between professional etiquette and

professional emulation concerning the recent erections of the Grand

Lyric Hall on Burgh Quay and the Theatre Royal in Hawkins street:

fourthly, distraction resultant from compassion for Nelly Bouverist’s

non-intellectual, non-political, non-topical expression of countenance

and concupiscence caused by Nelly Bouverist’s revelations of white

articles of non-intellectual, non-political, non-topical underclothing

while she (Nelly Bouverist) was in the articles: fifthly, the

difficulties of the selection of appropriate music and humorous

allusions from _Everybody’s Book of Jokes_ (1000 pages and a laugh in

every one): sixthly, the rhymes, homophonous and cacophonous,

associated with the names of the new lord mayor, Daniel Tallon, the new

high sheriff, Thomas Pile and the new solicitorgeneral, Dunbar Plunket

Barton.

What relation existed between their ages?

16 years before in 1888 when Bloom was of Stephen’s present age Stephen

was 6. 16 years after in 1920 when Stephen would be of Bloom’s present

age Bloom would be 54. In 1936 when Bloom would be 70 and Stephen 54

their ages initially in the ratio of 16 to 0 would be as 17 1/2 to 13

1/2, the proportion increasing and the disparity diminishing according

as arbitrary future years were added, for if the proportion existing in

1883 had continued immutable, conceiving that to be possible, till then

1904 when Stephen was 22 Bloom would be 374 and in 1920 when Stephen

would be 38, as Bloom then was, Bloom would be 646 while in 1952 when

Stephen would have attained the maximum postdiluvian age of 70 Bloom,

being 1190 years alive having been born in the year 714, would have

surpassed by 221 years the maximum antediluvian age, that of

Methusalah, 969 years, while, if Stephen would continue to live until

he would attain that age in the year 3072 A.D., Bloom would have been

obliged to have been alive 83,300 years, having been obliged to have

been born in the year 81,396 B.C.

What events might nullify these calculations?

The cessation of existence of both or either, the inauguration of a new

era or calendar, the annihilation of the world and consequent

extermination of the human species, inevitable but impredictable.

How many previous encounters proved their preexisting acquaintance?

Two. The first in the lilacgarden of Matthew Dillon’s house, Medina

Villa, Kimmage road, Roundtown, in 1887, in the company of Stephen’s

mother, Stephen being then of the age of 5 and reluctant to give his

hand in salutation. The second in the coffeeroom of Breslin’s hotel on

a rainy Sunday in the January of 1892, in the company of Stephen’s

father and Stephen’s granduncle, Stephen being then 5 years older.

Did Bloom accept the invitation to dinner given then by the son and

afterwards seconded by the father?

Very gratefully, with grateful appreciation, with sincere appreciative

gratitude, in appreciatively grateful sincerity of regret, he declined.

Did their conversation on the subject of these reminiscences reveal a

third connecting link between them?

Mrs Riordan (Dante), a widow of independent means, had resided in the

house of Stephen’s parents from 1 September 1888 to 29 December 1891

and had also resided during the years 1892, 1893 and 1894 in the City

Arms Hotel owned by Elizabeth O’Dowd of 54 Prussia street where, during

parts of the years 1893 and 1894, she had been a constant informant of

Bloom who resided also in the same hotel, being at that time a clerk in

the employment of Joseph Cuffe of 5 Smithfield for the superintendence

of sales in the adjacent Dublin Cattle market on the North Circular

road.

Had he performed any special corporal work of mercy for her?

He had sometimes propelled her on warm summer evenings, an infirm widow

of independent, if limited, means, in her convalescent bathchair with

slow revolutions of its wheels as far as the corner of the North

Circular road opposite Mr Gavin Low’s place of business where she had

remained for a certain time scanning through his onelensed binocular

fieldglasses unrecognisable citizens on tramcars, roadster bicycles

equipped with inflated pneumatic tyres, hackney carriages, tandems,

private and hired landaus, dogcarts, ponytraps and brakes passing from

the city to the Phoenix Park and _vice versa_.

Why could he then support that his vigil with the greater equanimity?

Because in middle youth he had often sat observing through a rondel of

bossed glass of a multicoloured pane the spectacle offered with

continual changes of the thoroughfare without, pedestrians, quadrupeds,

velocipedes, vehicles, passing slowly, quickly, evenly, round and round

and round the rim of a round and round precipitous globe.

What distinct different memories had each of her now eight years

deceased?

The older, her bezique cards and counters, her Skye terrier, her

suppositious wealth, her lapses of responsiveness and incipient

catarrhal deafness: the younger, her lamp of colza oil before the

statue of the Immaculate Conception, her green and maroon brushes for

Charles Stewart Parnell and for Michael Davitt, her tissue papers.

Were there no means still remaining to him to achieve the rejuvenation

which these reminiscences divulged to a younger companion rendered the

more desirable?

The indoor exercises, formerly intermittently practised, subsequently

abandoned, prescribed in Eugen Sandow’s _Physical Strength and How to

Obtain It_ which, designed particularly for commercial men engaged in

sedentary occupations, were to be made with mental concentration in

front of a mirror so as to bring into play the various families of

muscles and produce successively a pleasant rigidity, a more pleasant

relaxation and the most pleasant repristination of juvenile agility.

Had any special agility been his in earlier youth?

Though ringweight lifting had been beyond his strength and the full

circle gyration beyond his courage yet as a High school scholar he had

excelled in his stable and protracted execution of the half lever

movement on the parallel bars in consequence of his abnormally

developed abdominal muscles.

Did either openly allude to their racial difference?

Neither.

What, reduced to their simplest reciprocal form, were Bloom’s thoughts

about Stephen’s thoughts about Bloom and about Stephen’s thoughts about

Bloom’s thoughts about Stephen?

He thought that he thought that he was a jew whereas he knew that he

knew that he knew that he was not.

What, the enclosures of reticence removed, were their respective

parentages?

Bloom, only born male transubstantial heir of Rudolf Virag

(subsequently Rudolph Bloom) of Szombathely, Vienna, Budapest, Milan,

London and Dublin and of Ellen Higgins, second daughter of Julius

Higgins (born Karoly) and Fanny Higgins (born Hegarty). Stephen, eldest

surviving male consubstantial heir of Simon Dedalus of Cork and Dublin

and of Mary, daughter of Richard and Christina Goulding (born Grier).

Had Bloom and Stephen been baptised, and where and by whom, cleric or

layman?

Bloom (three times), by the reverend Mr Gilmer Johnston M. A., alone,

in the protestant church of Saint Nicholas Without, Coombe, by James

O’Connor, Philip Gilligan and James Fitzpatrick, together, under a pump

in the village of Swords, and by the reverend Charles Malone C. C., in

the church of the Three Patrons, Rathgar. Stephen (once) by the

reverend Charles Malone C. C., alone, in the church of the Three

Patrons, Rathgar.

Did they find their educational careers similar?

Substituting Stephen for Bloom Stoom would have passed successively

through a dame’s school and the high school. Substituting Bloom for

Stephen Blephen would have passed successively through the preparatory,

junior, middle and senior grades of the intermediate and through the

matriculation, first arts, second arts and arts degree courses of the

royal university.

Why did Bloom refrain from stating that he had frequented the

university of life?

Because of his fluctuating incertitude as to whether this observation

had or had not been already made by him to Stephen or by Stephen to

him.

What two temperaments did they individually represent?

The scientific. The artistic.

What proofs did Bloom adduce to prove that his tendency was towards

applied, rather than towards pure, science?

Certain possible inventions of which he had cogitated when reclining in

a state of supine repletion to aid digestion, stimulated by his

appreciation of the importance of inventions now common but once

revolutionary, for example, the aeronautic parachute, the reflecting

telescope, the spiral corkscrew, the safety pin, the mineral water

siphon, the canal lock with winch and sluice, the suction pump.

Were these inventions principally intended for an improved scheme of

kindergarten?

Yes, rendering obsolete popguns, elastic airbladders, games of hazard,

catapults. They comprised astronomical kaleidoscopes exhibiting the

twelve constellations of the zodiac from Aries to Pisces, miniature

mechanical orreries, arithmetical gelatine lozenges, geometrical to

correspond with zoological biscuits, globemap playing balls,

historically costumed dolls.

What also stimulated him in his cogitations?

The financial success achieved by Ephraim Marks and Charles A. James,

the former by his 1d bazaar at 42 George’s street, south, the latter at

his 6 1/2d shop and world’s fancy fair and waxwork exhibition at 30

Henry street, admission 2d, children 1d: and the infinite possibilities

hitherto unexploited of the modern art of advertisement if condensed in

triliteral monoideal symbols, vertically of maximum visibility

(divined), horizontally of maximum legibility (deciphered) and of

magnetising efficacy to arrest involuntary attention, to interest, to

convince, to decide.

Such as?

K. 11. Kino’s 11/— Trousers.

House of Keys. Alexander J. Keyes.

Such as not?

Look at this long candle. Calculate when it burns out and you receive

gratis 1 pair of our special non-compo boots, guaranteed 1 candle

power. Address: Barclay and Cook, 18 Talbot street.

Bacilikil (Insect Powder).

Veribest (Boot Blacking).

Uwantit (Combined pocket twoblade penknife with corkscrew, nailfile and

pipecleaner).

Such as never?

What is home without Plumtree’s Potted Meat?

Incomplete.

With it an abode of bliss.

Manufactured by George Plumtree, 23 Merchants’ quay, Dublin, put up in

4 oz pots, and inserted by Councillor Joseph P. Nannetti, M. P.,

Rotunda Ward, 19 Hardwicke street, under the obituary notices and

anniversaries of deceases. The name on the label is Plumtree. A

plumtree in a meatpot, registered trade mark. Beware of imitations.

Peatmot. Trumplee. Moutpat. Plamtroo.

Which example did he adduce to induce Stephen to deduce that

originality, though producing its own reward, does not invariably

conduce to success?

His own ideated and rejected project of an illuminated showcart, drawn

by a beast of burden, in which two smartly dressed girls were to be

seated engaged in writing.

What suggested scene was then constructed by Stephen?

Solitary hotel in mountain pass. Autumn. Twilight. Fire lit. In dark

corner young man seated. Young woman enters. Restless. Solitary. She

sits. She goes to window. She stands. She sits. Twilight. She thinks.

On solitary hotel paper she writes. She thinks. She writes. She sighs.

Wheels and hoofs. She hurries out. He comes from his dark corner. He

seizes solitary paper. He holds it towards fire. Twilight. He reads.

Solitary.

What?

In sloping, upright and backhands: Queen’s Hotel, Queen’s Hotel,

Queen’s Hotel. Queen’s Ho...

What suggested scene was then reconstructed by Bloom?

The Queen’s Hotel, Ennis, county Clare, where Rudolph Bloom (Rudolf

Virag) died on the evening of the 27 June 1886, at some hour unstated,

in consequence of an overdose of monkshood (aconite) selfadministered

in the form of a neuralgic liniment composed of 2 parts of aconite

liniment to 1 of chloroform liniment (purchased by him at 10.20 a.m. on

the morning of 27 June 1886 at the medical hall of Francis Dennehy, 17

Church street, Ennis) after having, though not in consequence of

having, purchased at 3.15 p.m. on the afternoon of 27 June 1886 a new

boater straw hat, extra smart (after having, though not in consequence

of having, purchased at the hour and in the place aforesaid, the toxin

aforesaid), at the general drapery store of James Cullen, 4 Main

street, Ennis.

Did he attribute this homonymity to information or coincidence or

intuition?

Coincidence.

Did he depict the scene verbally for his guest to see?

He preferred himself to see another’s face and listen to another’s

words by which potential narration was realised and kinetic temperament

relieved.

Did he see only a second coincidence in the second scene narrated to

him, described by the narrator as _A Pisgah Sight of Palestine_ or _The

Parable of the Plums_?

It, with the preceding scene and with others unnarrated but existent by

implication, to which add essays on various subjects or moral apothegms

(e.g. _My Favourite Hero_ or _Procrastination is the Thief of Time_)

composed during schoolyears, seemed to him to contain in itself and in

conjunction with the personal equation certain possibilities of

financial, social, personal and sexual success, whether specially

collected and selected as model pedagogic themes (of cent per cent

merit) for the use of preparatory and junior grade students or

contributed in printed form, following the precedent of Philip Beaufoy

or Doctor Dick or Heblon’s _Studies in Blue_, to a publication of

certified circulation and solvency or employed verbally as intellectual

stimulation for sympathetic auditors, tacitly appreciative of

successful narrative and confidently augurative of successful

achievement, during the increasingly longer nights gradually following

the summer solstice on the day but three following, videlicet, Tuesday,

21 June (S. Aloysius Gonzaga), sunrise 3.33 a.m., sunset 8.29 p.m.

Which domestic problem as much as, if not more than, any other

frequently engaged his mind?

What to do with our wives.

What had been his hypothetical singular solutions?

Parlour games (dominos, halma, tiddledywinks, spilikins, cup and ball,

nap, spoil five, bezique, twentyfive, beggar my neighbour, draughts,

chess or backgammon): embroidery, darning or knitting for the

policeaided clothing society: musical duets, mandoline and guitar,

piano and flute, guitar and piano: legal scrivenery or envelope

addressing: biweekly visits to variety entertainments: commercial

activity as pleasantly commanding and pleasingly obeyed mistress

proprietress in a cool dairy shop or warm cigar divan: the clandestine

satisfaction of erotic irritation in masculine brothels, state

inspected and medically controlled: social visits, at regular

infrequent prevented intervals and with regular frequent preventive

superintendence, to and from female acquaintances of recognised

respectability in the vicinity: courses of evening instruction

specially designed to render liberal instruction agreeable.

What instances of deficient mental development in his wife inclined him

in favour of the lastmentioned (ninth) solution?

In disoccupied moments she had more than once covered a sheet of paper

with signs and hieroglyphics which she stated were Greek and Irish and

Hebrew characters. She had interrogated constantly at varying intervals

as to the correct method of writing the capital initial of the name of

a city in Canada, Quebec. She understood little of political

complications, internal, or balance of power, external. In calculating

the addenda of bills she frequently had recourse to digital aid. After

completion of laconic epistolary compositions she abandoned the

implement of calligraphy in the encaustic pigment, exposed to the

corrosive action of copperas, green vitriol and nutgall. Unusual

polysyllables of foreign origin she interpreted phonetically or by

false analogy or by both: metempsychosis (met him pike hoses), _alias_

(a mendacious person mentioned in sacred scripture).

What compensated in the false balance of her intelligence for these and

such deficiencies of judgment regarding persons, places and things?

The false apparent parallelism of all perpendicular arms of all

balances, proved true by construction. The counterbalance of her

proficiency of judgment regarding one person, proved true by

experiment.

How had he attempted to remedy this state of comparative ignorance?

Variously. By leaving in a conspicuous place a certain book open at a

certain page: by assuming in her, when alluding explanatorily, latent

knowledge: by open ridicule in her presence of some absent other’s

ignorant lapse.

With what success had he attempted direct instruction?

She followed not all, a part of the whole, gave attention with interest

comprehended with surprise, with care repeated, with greater difficulty

remembered, forgot with ease, with misgiving reremembered, rerepeated

with error.

What system had proved more effective?

Indirect suggestion implicating selfinterest.

Example?

She disliked umbrella with rain, he liked woman with umbrella, she

disliked new hat with rain, he liked woman with new hat, he bought new

hat with rain, she carried umbrella with new hat.

Accepting the analogy implied in his guest’s parable which examples of

postexilic eminence did he adduce?

Three seekers of the pure truth, Moses of Egypt, Moses Maimonides,

author of _More Nebukim_ (Guide of the Perplexed) and Moses Mendelssohn

of such eminence that from Moses (of Egypt) to Moses (Mendelssohn)

there arose none like Moses (Maimonides).

What statement was made, under correction, by Bloom concerning a fourth

seeker of pure truth, by name Aristotle, mentioned, with permission, by

Stephen?

That the seeker mentioned had been a pupil of a rabbinical philosopher,

name uncertain.

Were other anapocryphal illustrious sons of the law and children of a

selected or rejected race mentioned?

Felix Bartholdy Mendelssohn (composer), Baruch Spinoza (philosopher),

Mendoza (pugilist), Ferdinand Lassalle (reformer, duellist).

What fragments of verse from the ancient Hebrew and ancient Irish

languages were cited with modulations of voice and translation of texts

by guest to host and by host to guest?

By Stephen: _suil, suil, suil arun, suil go siocair agus suil go cuin_

(walk, walk, walk your way, walk in safety, walk with care).

By Bloom: _Kifeloch, harimon rakatejch m’baad l’zamatejch_ (thy temple

amid thy hair is as a slice of pomegranate).

How was a glyphic comparison of the phonic symbols of both languages

made in substantiation of the oral comparison?

By juxtaposition. On the penultimate blank page of a book of inferior

literary style, entituled _Sweets of Sin_ (produced by Bloom and so

manipulated that its front cover came in contact with the surface of

the table) with a pencil (supplied by Stephen) Stephen wrote the Irish

characters for gee, eh, dee, em, simple and modified, and Bloom in turn

wrote the Hebrew characters ghimel, aleph, daleth and (in the absence

of mem) a substituted qoph, explaining their arithmetical values as

ordinal and cardinal numbers, videlicet 3, 1, 4, and 100.

Was the knowledge possessed by both of each of these languages, the

extinct and the revived, theoretical or practical?

Theoretical, being confined to certain grammatical rules of accidence

and syntax and practically excluding vocabulary.

What points of contact existed between these languages and between the

peoples who spoke them?

The presence of guttural sounds, diacritic aspirations, epenthetic and

servile letters in both languages: their antiquity, both having been

taught on the plain of Shinar 242 years after the deluge in the

seminary instituted by Fenius Farsaigh, descendant of Noah, progenitor

of Israel, and ascendant of Heber and Heremon, progenitors of Ireland:

their archaeological, genealogical, hagiographical, exegetical,

homiletic, toponomastic, historical and religious literatures

comprising the works of rabbis and culdees, Torah, Talmud (Mischna and

Ghemara), Massor, Pentateuch, Book of the Dun Cow, Book of Ballymote,

Garland of Howth, Book of Kells: their dispersal, persecution, survival

and revival: the isolation of their synagogical and ecclesiastical

rites in ghetto (S. Mary’s Abbey) and masshouse (Adam and Eve’s

tavern): the proscription of their national costumes in penal laws and

jewish dress acts: the restoration in Chanah David of Zion and the

possibility of Irish political autonomy or devolution.

What anthem did Bloom chant partially in anticipation of that multiple,

ethnically irreducible consummation?

Kolod balejwaw pnimah

Nefesch, jehudi, homijah.

Why was the chant arrested at the conclusion of this first distich?

In consequence of defective mnemotechnic.

How did the chanter compensate for this deficiency?

By a periphrastic version of the general text.

In what common study did their mutual reflections merge?

The increasing simplification traceable from the Egyptian epigraphic

hieroglyphs to the Greek and Roman alphabets and the anticipation of

modern stenography and telegraphic code in the cuneiform inscriptions

(Semitic) and the virgular quinquecostate ogham writing (Celtic).

Did the guest comply with his host’s request?

Doubly, by appending his signature in Irish and Roman characters.

What was Stephen’s auditive sensation?

He heard in a profound ancient male unfamiliar melody the accumulation

of the past.

What was Bloom’s visual sensation?

He saw in a quick young male familiar form the predestination of a

future.

What were Stephen’s and Bloom’s quasisimultaneous volitional

quasisensations of concealed identities?

Visually, Stephen’s: The traditional figure of hypostasis, depicted by

Johannes Damascenus, Lentulus Romanus and Epiphanius Monachus as

leucodermic, sesquipedalian with winedark hair.

Auditively, Bloom’s: The traditional accent of the ecstasy of

catastrophe.

What future careers had been possible for Bloom in the past and with

what exemplars?

In the church, Roman, Anglican or Nonconformist: exemplars, the very

reverend John Conmee S. J., the reverend T. Salmon, D. D., provost of

Trinity college, Dr Alexander J. Dowie. At the bar, English or Irish:

exemplars, Seymour Bushe, K. C., Rufus Isaacs, K. C. On the stage,

modern or Shakespearean: exemplars, Charles Wyndham, high comedian,

Osmond Tearle († 1901), exponent of Shakespeare.

Did the host encourage his guest to chant in a modulated voice a

strange legend on an allied theme?

Reassuringly, their place, where none could hear them talk, being

secluded, reassured, the decocted beverages, allowing for subsolid

residual sediment of a mechanical mixture, water plus sugar plus cream

plus cocoa, having been consumed.

Recite the first (major) part of this chanted legend.

Little Harry Hughes and his schoolfellows all

Went out for to play ball.

And the very first ball little Harry Hughes played

He drove it o’er the jew’s garden wall.

And the very second ball little Harry Hughes played

He broke the jew’s windows all.

[Illustration]

How did the son of Rudolph receive this first part?

With unmixed feeling. Smiling, a jew, he heard with pleasure and saw

the unbroken kitchen window.

Recite the second part (minor) of the legend.

Then out there came the jew’s daughter

And she all dressed in green.

“Come back, come back, you pretty little boy,

And play your ball again.”

I can’t come back and I won’t come back

Without my schoolfellows all.

For if my master he did hear

He’d make it a sorry ball.”

She took him by the lilywhite hand

And led him along the hall

Until she led him to a room

Where none could hear him call.

She took a penknife out of her pocket

And cut off his little head.

And now he’ll play his ball no more

For he lies among the dead.

[Illustration]

How did the father of Millicent receive this second part?

With mixed feelings. Unsmiling, he heard and saw with wonder a jew’s

daughter, all dressed in green.

Condense Stephen’s commentary.

One of all, the least of all, is the victim predestined. Once by

inadvertence twice by design he challenges his destiny. It comes when

he is abandoned and challenges him reluctant and, as an apparition of

hope and youth, holds him unresisting. It leads him to a strange

habitation, to a secret infidel apartment, and there, implacable,

immolates him, consenting.

Why was the host (victim predestined) sad?

He wished that a tale of a deed should be told of a deed not by him

should by him not be told.

Why was the host (reluctant, unresisting) still?

In accordance with the law of the conservation of energy.

Why was the host (secret infidel) silent?

He weighed the possible evidences for and against ritual murder: the

incitations of the hierarchy, the superstition of the populace, the

propagation of rumour in continued fraction of veridicity, the envy of

opulence, the influence of retaliation, the sporadic reappearance of

atavistic delinquency, the mitigating circumstances of fanaticism,

hypnotic suggestion and somnambulism.

From which (if any) of these mental or physical disorders was he not

totally immune?

From hypnotic suggestion: once, waking, he had not recognised his

sleeping apartment: more than once, waking, he had been for an

indefinite time incapable of moving or uttering sounds. From

somnambulism: once, sleeping, his body had risen, crouched and crawled

in the direction of a heatless fire and, having attained its

destination, there, curled, unheated, in night attire had lain,

sleeping.

Had this latter or any cognate phenomenon declared itself in any member

of his family?

Twice, in Holles street and in Ontario terrace, his daughter Millicent

(Milly) at the ages of 6 and 8 years had uttered in sleep an

exclamation of terror and had replied to the interrogations of two

figures in night attire with a vacant mute expression.

What other infantile memories had he of her?

15 June 1889. A querulous newborn female infant crying to cause and

lessen congestion. A child renamed Padney Socks she shook with shocks

her moneybox: counted his three free moneypenny buttons, one, tloo,

tlee: a doll, a boy, a sailor she cast away: blond, born of two dark,

she had blond ancestry, remote, a violation, Herr Hauptmann Hainau,

Austrian army, proximate, a hallucination, lieutenant Mulvey, British

navy.

What endemic characteristics were present?

Conversely the nasal and frontal formation was derived in a direct line

of lineage which, though interrupted, would continue at distant

intervals to more distant intervals to its most distant intervals.

What memories had he of her adolescence?

She relegated her hoop and skippingrope to a recess. On the duke’s

lawn, entreated by an English visitor, she declined to permit him to

make and take away her photographic image (objection not stated). On

the South Circular road in the company of Elsa Potter, followed by an

individual of sinister aspect, she went half way down Stamer street and

turned abruptly back (reason of change not stated). On the vigil of the

15th anniversary of her birth she wrote a letter from Mullingar, county

Westmeath, making a brief allusion to a local student (faculty and year

not stated).

Did that first division, portending a second division, afflict him?

Less than he had imagined, more than he had hoped.

What second departure was contemporaneously perceived by him similarly,

if differently?

A temporary departure of his cat.

Why similarly, why differently?

Similarly, because actuated by a secret purpose the quest of a new male

(Mullingar student) or of a healing herb (valerian). Differently,

because of different possible returns to the inhabitants or to the

habitation.

In other respects were their differences similar?

In passivity, in economy, in the instinct of tradition, in

unexpectedness.

As?

Inasmuch as leaning she sustained her blond hair for him to ribbon it

for her (cf neckarching cat). Moreover, on the free surface of the lake

in Stephen’s green amid inverted reflections of trees her uncommented

spit, describing concentric circles of waterrings, indicated by the

constancy of its permanence the locus of a somnolent prostrate fish (cf

mousewatching cat). Again, in order to remember the date, combatants,

issue and consequences of a famous military engagement she pulled a

plait of her hair (cf earwashing cat). Furthermore, silly Milly, she

dreamed of having had an unspoken unremembered conversation with a

horse whose name had been Joseph to whom (which) she had offered a

tumblerful of lemonade which it (he) had appeared to have accepted (cf

hearthdreaming cat). Hence, in passivity, in economy, in the instinct

of tradition, in unexpectedness, their differences were similar.

In what way had he utilised gifts (1) an owl, 2) a clock, given as

matrimonial auguries, to interest and to instruct her?

As object lessons to explain: 1) the nature and habits of oviparous

animals, the possibility of aerial flight, certain abnormalities of

vision, the secular process of imbalsamation: 2) the principle of the

pendulum, exemplified in bob, wheelgear and regulator, the translation

in terms of human or social regulation of the various positions of

clockwise moveable indicators on an unmoving dial, the exactitude of

the recurrence per hour of an instant in each hour when the longer and

the shorter indicator were at the same angle of inclination,

_videlicet_, 5 5/11 minutes past each hour per hour in arithmetical

progression.

In what manners did she reciprocate?

She remembered: on the 27th anniversary of his birth she presented to

him a breakfast moustachecup of imitation Crown Derby porcelain ware.

She provided: at quarter day or thereabouts if or when purchases had

been made by him not for her she showed herself attentive to his

necessities, anticipating his desires. She admired: a natural

phenomenon having been explained by him to her she expressed the

immediate desire to possess without gradual acquisition a fraction of

his science, the moiety, the quarter, a thousandth part.

What proposal did Bloom, diambulist, father of Milly, somnambulist,

make to Stephen, noctambulist?

To pass in repose the hours intervening between Thursday (proper) and

Friday (normal) on an extemporised cubicle in the apartment immediately

above the kitchen and immediately adjacent to the sleeping apartment of

his host and hostess.

What various advantages would or might have resulted from a

prolongation of such an extemporisation?

For the guest: security of domicile and seclusion of study. For the

host: rejuvenation of intelligence, vicarious satisfaction. For the

hostess: disintegration of obsession, acquisition of correct Italian

pronunciation.

Why might these several provisional contingencies between a guest and a

hostess not necessarily preclude or be precluded by a permanent

eventuality of reconciliatory union between a schoolfellow and a jew’s

daughter?

Because the way to daughter led through mother, the way to mother

through daughter.

To what inconsequent polysyllabic question of his host did the guest

return a monosyllabic negative answer?

If he had known the late Mrs Emily Sinico, accidentally killed at

Sydney Parade railway station, 14 October 1903.

What inchoate corollary statement was consequently suppressed by the

host?

A statement explanatory of his absence on the occasion of the interment

of Mrs Mary Dedalus (born Goulding), 26 June 1903, vigil of the

anniversary of the decease of Rudolph Bloom (born Virag).

Was the proposal of asylum accepted?

Promptly, inexplicably, with amicability, gratefully it was declined.

What exchange of money took place between host and guest?

The former returned to the latter, without interest, a sum of money (£

1-7-0), one pound seven shillings sterling, advanced by the latter to

the former.

What counterproposals were alternately advanced, accepted, modified,

declined, restated in other terms, reaccepted, ratified, reconfirmed?

To inaugurate a prearranged course of Italian instruction, place the

residence of the instructed. To inaugurate a course of vocal

instruction, place the residence of the instructress. To inaugurate a

series of static, semistatic and peripatetic intellectual dialogues,

places the residence of both speakers (if both speakers were resident

in the same place), the _Ship_ hotel and tavern, 6 Lower Abbey street

(W. and E. Connery, proprietors), the National Library of Ireland, 10

Kildare street, the National Maternity Hospital, 29, 30 and 31 Holles

street, a public garden, the vicinity of a place of worship, a

conjunction of two or more public thoroughfares, the point of bisection

of a right line drawn between their residences (if both speakers were

resident in different places).

What rendered problematic for Bloom the realisation of these mutually

selfexcluding propositions?

The irreparability of the past: once at a performance of Albert

Hengler’s circus in the Rotunda, Rutland square, Dublin, an intuitive

particoloured clown in quest of paternity had penetrated from the ring

to a place in the auditorium where Bloom, solitary, was seated and had

publicly declared to an exhilarated audience that he (Bloom) was his

(the clown’s) papa. The imprevidibility of the future: once in the

summer of 1898 he (Bloom) had marked a florin (2/-) with three notches

on the milled edge and tendered it in payment of an account due to and

received by J. and T. Davy, family grocers, 1 Charlemont Mall, Grand

Canal, for circulation on the waters of civic finance, for possible,

circuitous or direct, return.

Was the clown Bloom’s son?

No.

Had Bloom’s coin returned?

Never.

Why would a recurrent frustration the more depress him?

Because at the critical turningpoint of human existence he desired to

amend many social conditions, the product of inequality and avarice and

international animosity.

He believed then that human life was infinitely perfectible,

eliminating these conditions?

There remained the generic conditions imposed by natural, as distinct

from human law, as integral parts of the human whole: the necessity of

destruction to procure alimentary sustenance: the painful character of

the ultimate functions of separate existence, the agonies of birth and

death: the monotonous menstruation of simian and (particularly) human

females extending from the age of puberty to the menopause: inevitable

accidents at sea, in mines and factories: certain very painful maladies

and their resultant surgical operations, innate lunacy and congenital

criminality, decimating epidemics: catastrophic cataclysms which make

terror the basis of human mentality: seismic upheavals the epicentres

of which are located in densely populated regions: the fact of vital

growth, through convulsions of metamorphosis, from infancy through

maturity to decay.

Why did he desist from speculation?

Because it was a task for a superior intelligence to substitute other

more acceptable phenomena in the place of the less acceptable phenomena

to be removed.

Did Stephen participate in his dejection?

He affirmed his significance as a conscious rational animal proceeding

syllogistically from the known to the unknown and a conscious rational

reagent between a micro and a macrocosm ineluctably constructed upon

the incertitude of the void.

Was this affirmation apprehended by Bloom?

Not verbally. Substantially.

What comforted his misapprehension?

That as a competent keyless citizen he had proceeded energetically from

the unknown to the known through the incertitude of the void.

In what order of precedence, with what attendant ceremony was the

exodus from the house of bondage to the wilderness of inhabitation

effected?

Lighted Candle in Stick borne by

BLOOM

Diaconal Hat on Ashplant borne by

STEPHEN

With what intonation _secreto_ of what commemorative psalm?

The 113th, _modus peregrinus: In exitu Israël de Egypto: domus Jacob de

populo barbaro_.

What did each do at the door of egress?

Bloom set the candlestick on the floor. Stephen put the hat on his

head.

For what creature was the door of egress a door of ingress?

For a cat.

What spectacle confronted them when they, first the host, then the

guest, emerged silently, doubly dark, from obscurity by a passage from

the rere of the house into the penumbra of the garden?

The heaventree of stars hung with humid nightblue fruit.

With what meditations did Bloom accompany his demonstration to his

companion of various constellations?

Meditations of evolution increasingly vaster: of the moon invisible in

incipient lunation, approaching perigee: of the infinite lattiginous

scintillating uncondensed milky way, discernible by daylight by an

observer placed at the lower end of a cylindrical vertical shaft 5000

ft deep sunk from the surface towards the centre of the earth: of

Sirius (alpha in Canis Maior) 10 lightyears (57,000,000,000,000 miles)

distant and in volume 900 times the dimension of our planet: of

Arcturus: of the precession of equinoxes: of Orion with belt and

sextuple sun theta and nebula in which 100 of our solar systems could

be contained: of moribund and of nascent new stars such as Nova in

1901: of our system plunging towards the constellation of Hercules: of

the parallax or parallactic drift of socalled fixed stars, in reality

evermoving wanderers from immeasurably remote eons to infinitely remote

futures in comparison with which the years, threescore and ten, of

allotted human life formed a parenthesis of infinitesimal brevity.

Were there obverse meditations of involution increasingly less vast?

Of the eons of geological periods recorded in the stratifications of

the earth: of the myriad minute entomological organic existences

concealed in cavities of the earth, beneath removable stones, in hives

and mounds, of microbes, germs, bacteria, bacilli, spermatozoa: of the

incalculable trillions of billions of millions of imperceptible

molecules contained by cohesion of molecular affinity in a single

pinhead: of the universe of human serum constellated with red and white

bodies, themselves universes of void space constellated with other

bodies, each, in continuity, its universe of divisible component bodies

of which each was again divisible in divisions of redivisible component

bodies, dividends and divisors ever diminishing without actual division

till, if the progress were carried far enough, nought nowhere was never

reached.

Why did he not elaborate these calculations to a more precise result?

Because some years previously in 1886 when occupied with the problem of

the quadrature of the circle he had learned of the existence of a

number computed to a relative degree of accuracy to be of such

magnitude and of so many places, e.g., the 9th power of the 9th power

of 9, that, the result having been obtained, 33 closely printed volumes

of 1000 pages each of innumerable quires and reams of India paper would

have to be requisitioned in order to contain the complete tale of its

printed integers of units, tens, hundreds, thousands, tens of

thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, tens of millions, hundreds

of millions, billions, the nucleus of the nebula of every digit of

every series containing succinctly the potentiality of being raised to

the utmost kinetic elaboration of any power of any of its powers.

Did he find the problems of the inhabitability of the planets and their

satellites by a race, given in species, and of the possible social and

moral redemption of said race by a redeemer, easier of solution?

Of a different order of difficulty. Conscious that the human organism,

normally capable of sustaining an atmospheric pressure of 19 tons, when

elevated to a considerable altitude in the terrestrial atmosphere

suffered with arithmetical progression of intensity, according as the

line of demarcation between troposphere and stratosphere was

approximated from nasal hemorrhage, impeded respiration and vertigo,

when proposing this problem for solution, he had conjectured as a

working hypothesis which could not be proved impossible that a more

adaptable and differently anatomically constructed race of beings might

subsist otherwise under Martian, Mercurial, Veneral, Jovian, Saturnian,

Neptunian or Uranian sufficient and equivalent conditions, though an

apogean humanity of beings created in varying forms with finite

differences resulting similar to the whole and to one another would

probably there as here remain inalterably and inalienably attached to

vanities, to vanities of vanities and to all that is vanity.

And the problem of possible redemption?

The minor was proved by the major.

Which various features of the constellations were in turn considered?

The various colours significant of various degrees of vitality (white,

yellow, crimson, vermilion, cinnabar): their degrees of brilliancy:

their magnitudes revealed up to and including the 7th: their positions:

the waggoner’s star: Walsingham way: the chariot of David: the annular

cinctures of Saturn: the condensation of spiral nebulae into suns: the

interdependent gyrations of double suns: the independent synchronous

discoveries of Galileo, Simon Marius, Piazzi, Le Verrier, Herschel,

Galle: the systematisations attempted by Bode and Kepler of cubes of

distances and squares of times of revolution: the almost infinite

compressibility of hirsute comets and their vast elliptical egressive

and reentrant orbits from perihelion to aphelion: the sidereal origin

of meteoric stones: the Libyan floods on Mars about the period of the

birth of the younger astroscopist: the annual recurrence of meteoric

showers about the period of the feast of S. Lawrence (martyr, 10

August): the monthly recurrence known as the new moon with the old moon

in her arms: the posited influence of celestial on human bodies: the

appearance of a star (1st magnitude) of exceeding brilliancy dominating

by night and day (a new luminous sun generated by the collision and

amalgamation in incandescence of two nonluminous exsuns) about the

period of the birth of William Shakespeare over delta in the recumbent

neversetting constellation of Cassiopeia and of a star (2nd magnitude)

of similar origin but of lesser brilliancy which had appeared in and

disappeared from the constellation of the Corona Septentrionalis about

the period of the birth of Leopold Bloom and of other stars of

(presumably) similar origin which had (effectively or presumably)

appeared in and disappeared from the constellation of Andromeda about

the period of the birth of Stephen Dedalus, and in and from the

constellation of Auriga some years after the birth and death of Rudolph

Bloom, junior, and in and from other constellations some years before

or after the birth or death of other persons: the attendant phenomena

of eclipses, solar and lunar, from immersion to emersion, abatement of

wind, transit of shadow, taciturnity of winged creatures, emergence of

nocturnal or crepuscular animals, persistence of infernal light,

obscurity of terrestrial waters, pallor of human beings.

His (Bloom’s) logical conclusion, having weighed the matter and

allowing for possible error?

That it was not a heaventree, not a heavengrot, not a heavenbeast, not

a heavenman. That it was a Utopia, there being no known method from the

known to the unknown: an infinity renderable equally finite by the

suppositious apposition of one or more bodies equally of the same and

of different magnitudes: a mobility of illusory forms immobilised in

space, remobilised in air: a past which possibly had ceased to exist as

a present before its probable spectators had entered actual present

existence.

Was he more convinced of the esthetic value of the spectacle?

Indubitably in consequence of the reiterated examples of poets in the

delirium of the frenzy of attachment or in the abasement of rejection

invoking ardent sympathetic constellations or the frigidity of the

satellite of their planet.

Did he then accept as an article of belief the theory of astrological

influences upon sublunary disasters?

It seemed to him as possible of proof as of confutation and the

nomenclature employed in its selenographical charts as attributable to

verifiable intuition as to fallacious analogy: the lake of dreams, the

sea of rains, the gulf of dews, the ocean of fecundity.

What special affinities appeared to him to exist between the moon and

woman?

Her antiquity in preceding and surviving successive tellurian

generations: her nocturnal predominance: her satellitic dependence: her

luminary reflection: her constancy under all her phases, rising and

setting by her appointed times, waxing and waning: the forced

invariability of her aspect: her indeterminate response to

inaffirmative interrogation: her potency over effluent and refluent

waters: her power to enamour, to mortify, to invest with beauty, to

render insane, to incite to and aid delinquency: the tranquil

inscrutability of her visage: the terribility of her isolated dominant

implacable resplendent propinquity: her omens of tempest and of calm:

the stimulation of her light, her motion and her presence: the

admonition of her craters, her arid seas, her silence: her splendour,

when visible: her attraction, when invisible.

What visible luminous sign attracted Bloom’s, who attracted Stephen’s,

gaze?

In the second storey (rere) of his (Bloom’s) house the light of a

paraffin oil lamp with oblique shade projected on a screen of roller

blind supplied by Frank O’Hara, window blind, curtain pole and

revolving shutter manufacturer, 16 Aungier street.

How did he elucidate the mystery of an invisible attractive person, his

wife Marion (Molly) Bloom, denoted by a visible splendid sign, a lamp?

With indirect and direct verbal allusions or affirmations: with subdued

affection and admiration: with description: with impediment: with

suggestion.

Both then were silent?

Silent, each contemplating the other in both mirrors of the reciprocal

flesh of theirhisnothis fellowfaces.

Were they indefinitely inactive?

At Stephen’s suggestion, at Bloom’s instigation both, first Stephen,

then Bloom, in penumbra urinated, their sides contiguous, their organs

of micturition reciprocally rendered invisible by manual

circumposition, their gazes, first Bloom’s, then Stephen’s, elevated to

the projected luminous and semiluminous shadow.

Similarly?

The trajectories of their, first sequent, then simultaneous, urinations

were dissimilar: Bloom’s longer, less irruent, in the incomplete form

of the bifurcated penultimate alphabetical letter, who in his ultimate

year at High School (1880) had been capable of attaining the point of

greatest altitude against the whole concurrent strength of the

institution, 210 scholars: Stephen’s higher, more sibilant, who in the

ultimate hours of the previous day had augmented by diuretic

consumption an insistent vesical pressure.

What different problems presented themselves to each concerning the

invisible audible collateral organ of the other?

To Bloom: the problems of irritability, tumescence, rigidity,

reactivity, dimension, sanitariness, pilosity.

To Stephen: the problem of the sacerdotal integrity of Jesus

circumcised (1 January, holiday of obligation to hear mass and abstain

from unnecessary servile work) and the problem as to whether the divine

prepuce, the carnal bridal ring of the holy Roman catholic apostolic

church, conserved in Calcata, were deserving of simple hyperduly or of

the fourth degree of latria accorded to the abscission of such divine

excrescences as hair and toenails.

What celestial sign was by both simultaneously observed?

A star precipitated with great apparent velocity across the firmament

from Vega in the Lyre above the zenith beyond the stargroup of the

Tress of Berenice towards the zodiacal sign of Leo.

How did the centripetal remainer afford egress to the centrifugal

departer?

By inserting the barrel of an arruginated male key in the hole of an

unstable female lock, obtaining a purchase on the bow of the key and

turning its wards from right to left, withdrawing a bolt from its

staple, pulling inward spasmodically an obsolescent unhinged door and

revealing an aperture for free egress and free ingress.

How did they take leave, one of the other, in separation?

Standing perpendicular at the same door and on different sides of its

base, the lines of their valedictory arms, meeting at any point and

forming any angle less than the sum of two right angles.

What sound accompanied the union of their tangent, the disunion of

their (respectively) centrifugal and centripetal hands?

The sound of the peal of the hour of the night by the chime of the

bells in the church of Saint George.

What echoes of that sound were by both and each heard?

By Stephen:

Liliata rutilantium. Turma circumdet.

Iubilantium te virginum. Chorus excipiat.

By Bloom:

Heigho, heigho,

Heigho, heigho.

Where were the several members of the company which with Bloom that day

at the bidding of that peal had travelled from Sandymount in the south

to Glasnevin in the north?

Martin Cunningham (in bed), Jack Power (in bed), Simon Dedalus (in

bed), Ned Lambert (in bed), Tom Kernan (in bed), Joe Hynes (in bed),

John Henry Menton (in bed), Bernard Corrigan (in bed), Patsy Dignam (in

bed), Paddy Dignam (in the grave).

Alone, what did Bloom hear?

The double reverberation of retreating feet on the heavenborn earth,

the double vibration of a jew’s harp in the resonant lane.

Alone, what did Bloom feel?

The cold of interstellar space, thousands of degrees below freezing

point or the absolute zero of Fahrenheit, Centigrade or Réaumur: the

incipient intimations of proximate dawn.

Of what did bellchime and handtouch and footstep and lonechill remind

him?

Of companions now in various manners in different places defunct: Percy

Apjohn (killed in action, Modder River), Philip Gilligan (phthisis,

Jervis Street hospital), Matthew F. Kane (accidental drowning, Dublin

Bay), Philip Moisel (pyemia, Heytesbury street), Michael Hart

(phthisis, Mater Misericordiae hospital), Patrick Dignam (apoplexy,

Sandymount).

What prospect of what phenomena inclined him to remain?

The disparition of three final stars, the diffusion of daybreak, the

apparition of a new solar disk.

Had he ever been a spectator of those phenomena?

Once, in 1887, after a protracted performance of charades in the house

of Luke Doyle, Kimmage, he had awaited with patience the apparition of

the diurnal phenomenon, seated on a wall, his gaze turned in the

direction of Mizrach, the east.

He remembered the initial paraphenomena?

More active air, a matutinal distant cock, ecclesiastical clocks at

various points, avine music, the isolated tread of an early wayfarer,

the visible diffusion of the light of an invisible luminous body, the

first golden limb of the resurgent sun perceptible low on the horizon.

Did he remain?

With deep inspiration he returned, retraversing the garden, reentering

the passage, reclosing the door. With brief suspiration he reassumed

the candle, reascended the stairs, reapproached the door of the front

room, hallfloor, and reentered.

What suddenly arrested his ingress?

The right temporal lobe of the hollow sphere of his cranium came into

contact with a solid timber angle where, an infinitesimal but sensible

fraction of a second later, a painful sensation was located in

consequence of antecedent sensations transmitted and registered.

Describe the alterations effected in the disposition of the articles of

furniture.

A sofa upholstered in prune plush had been translocated from opposite

the door to the ingleside near the compactly furled Union Jack (an

alteration which he had frequently intended to execute): the blue and

white checker inlaid majolicatopped table had been placed opposite the

door in the place vacated by the prune plush sofa: the walnut sideboard

(a projecting angle of which had momentarily arrested his ingress) had

been moved from its position beside the door to a more advantageous but

more perilous position in front of the door: two chairs had been moved

from right and left of the ingleside to the position originally

occupied by the blue and white checker inlaid majolicatopped table.

Describe them.

One: a squat stuffed easychair, with stout arms extended and back

slanted to the rere, which, repelled in recoil, had then upturned an

irregular fringe of a rectangular rug and now displayed on its amply

upholstered seat a centralised diffusing and diminishing

discolouration. The other: a slender splayfoot chair of glossy cane

curves, placed directly opposite the former, its frame from top to seat

and from seat to base being varnished dark brown, its seat being a

bright circle of white plaited rush.

What significances attached to these two chairs?

Significances of similitude, of posture, of symbolism, of

circumstantial evidence, of testimonial supermanence.

What occupied the position originally occupied by the sideboard?

A vertical piano (Cadby) with exposed keyboard, its closed coffin

supporting a pair of long yellow ladies’ gloves and an emerald ashtray

containing four consumed matches, a partly consumed cigarette and two

discoloured ends of cigarettes, its musicrest supporting the music in

the key of G natural for voice and piano of _Love’s Old Sweet Song_

(words by G. Clifton Bingham, composed by J. L. Molloy, sung by Madam

Antoinette Sterling) open at the last page with the final indications

_ad libitum, forte_, pedal, _animato_, sustained pedal, _ritirando_,

close.

With what sensations did Bloom contemplate in rotation these objects?

With strain, elevating a candlestick: with pain, feeling on his right

temple a contused tumescence: with attention, focussing his gaze on a

large dull passive and a slender bright active: with solicitation,

bending and downturning the upturned rugfringe: with amusement,

remembering Dr Malachi Mulligan’s scheme of colour containing the

gradation of green: with pleasure, repeating the words and antecedent

act and perceiving through various channels of internal sensibility the

consequent and concomitant tepid pleasant diffusion of gradual

discolouration.

His next proceeding?

From an open box on the majolicatopped table he extracted a black

diminutive cone, one inch in height, placed it on its circular base on

a small tin plate, placed his candlestick on the right corner of the

mantelpiece, produced from his waistcoat a folded page of prospectus

(illustrated) entitled Agendath Netaim, unfolded the same, examined it

superficially, rolled it into a thin cylinder, ignited it in the

candleflame, applied it when ignited to the apex of the cone till the

latter reached the stage of rutilance, placed the cylinder in the basin

of the candlestick disposing its unconsumed part in such a manner as to

facilitate total combustion.

What followed this operation?

The truncated conical crater summit of the diminutive volcano emitted a

vertical and serpentine fume redolent of aromatic oriental incense.

What homothetic objects, other than the candlestick, stood on the

mantelpiece?

A timepiece of striated Connemara marble, stopped at the hour of 4.46

a.m. on the 21 March 1896, matrimonial gift of Matthew Dillon: a dwarf

tree of glacial arborescence under a transparent bellshade, matrimonial

gift of Luke and Caroline Doyle: an embalmed owl, matrimonial gift of

Alderman John Hooper.

What interchanges of looks took place between these three objects and

Bloom?

In the mirror of the giltbordered pierglass the undecorated back of the

dwarf tree regarded the upright back of the embalmed owl. Before the

mirror the matrimonial gift of Alderman John Hooper with a clear

melancholy wise bright motionless compassionate gaze regarded Bloom

while Bloom with obscure tranquil profound motionless compassionated

gaze regarded the matrimonial gift of Luke and Caroline Doyle.

What composite asymmetrical image in the mirror then attracted his

attention?

The image of a solitary (ipsorelative) mutable (aliorelative) man.

Why solitary (ipsorelative)?

Brothers and sisters had he none.

Yet that man’s father was his grandfather’s son.

Why mutable (aliorelative)?

From infancy to maturity he had resembled his maternal procreatrix.

From maturity to senility he would increasingly resemble his paternal

procreator.

What final visual impression was communicated to him by the mirror?

The optical reflection of several inverted volumes improperly arranged

and not in the order of their common letters with scintillating titles

on the two bookshelves opposite.

Catalogue these books.

_Thom’s Dublin Post Office Directory_, 1886.

Denis Florence M’Carthy’s _Poetical Works_ (copper beechleaf bookmark

at p. 5).

Shakespeare’s _Works_ (dark crimson morocco, goldtooled).

_The Useful Ready Reckoner_ (brown cloth).

_The Secret History of the Court of Charles II_ (red cloth, tooled

binding).

_The Child’s Guide_ (blue cloth).

_The Beauties of Killarney_ (wrappers).

_When We Were Boys_ by William O’Brien M. P. (green cloth, slightly

faded, envelope bookmark at p. 217).

_Thoughts from Spinoza_ (maroon leather).

_The Story of the Heavens_ by Sir Robert Ball (blue cloth).

Ellis’s _Three Trips to Madagascar_ (brown cloth, title obliterated).

_The Stark-Munro Letters_ by A. Conan Doyle, property of the City of

Dublin Public Library, 106 Capel street, lent 21 May (Whitsun Eve)

1904, due 4 June 1904, 13 days overdue (black cloth binding, bearing

white letternumber ticket).

_Voyages in China_ by “Viator” (recovered with brown paper, red ink

title).

_Philosophy of the Talmud_ (sewn pamphlet).

Lockhart’s _Life of Napoleon_ (cover wanting, marginal annotations,

minimising victories, aggrandising defeats of the protagonist).

_Soll und Haben_ by Gustav Freytag (black boards, Gothic characters,

cigarette coupon bookmark at p. 24).

Hozier’s _History of the Russo-Turkish War_ (brown cloth, 2 volumes,

with gummed label, Garrison Library, Governor’s Parade, Gibraltar, on

verso of cover).

_Laurence Bloomfield in Ireland_ by William Allingham (second edition,

green cloth, gilt trefoil design, previous owner’s name on recto of

flyleaf erased).

_A Handbook of Astronomy_ (cover, brown leather, detached, 5 plates,

antique letterpress long primer, author’s footnotes nonpareil, marginal

clues brevier, captions small pica).

_The Hidden Life of Christ_ (black boards).

_In the Track of the Sun_ (yellow cloth, titlepage missing, recurrent

title intestation).

_Physical Strength and How to Obtain It_ by Eugen Sandow (red cloth).

_Short but yet Plain Elements of Geometry_ written in French by F.

Ignat. Pardies and rendered into Engliſh by John Harris D. D. London,

printed for R. Knaplock at the Biſhop’s Head, MDCCXI, with dedicatory

epiſtle to his worthy friend Charles Cox, eſquire, Member of Parliament

for the burgh of Southwark and having ink calligraphed statement on the

flyleaf certifying that the book was the property of Michael Gallagher,

dated this 10th day of May 1822 and requeſting the perſon who should

find it, if the book should be loſt or go aſtray, to reſtore it to

Michael Gallagher, carpenter, Dufery Gate, Enniſcorthy, county Wicklow,

the fineſt place in the world.

What reflections occupied his mind during the process of reversion of

the inverted volumes?

The necessity of order, a place for everything and everything in its

place: the deficient appreciation of literature possessed by females:

the incongruity of an apple incuneated in a tumbler and of an umbrella

inclined in a closestool: the insecurity of hiding any secret document

behind, beneath or between the pages of a book.

Which volume was the largest in bulk?

Hozier’s _History of the Russo-Turkish War._

What among other data did the second volume of the work in question

contain?

The name of a decisive battle (forgotten), frequently remembered by a

decisive officer, major Brian Cooper Tweedy (remembered).

Why, firstly and secondly, did he not consult the work in question?

Firstly, in order to exercise mnemotechnic: secondly, because after an

interval of amnesia, when, seated at the central table, about to

consult the work in question, he remembered by mnemotechnic the name of

the military engagement, Plevna.

What caused him consolation in his sitting posture?

The candour, nudity, pose, tranquility, youth, grace, sex, counsel of a

statue erect in the centre of the table, an image of Narcissus

purchased by auction from P. A. Wren, 9 Bachelor’s Walk.

What caused him irritation in his sitting posture?

Inhibitory pressure of collar (size 17) and waistcoat (5 buttons), two

articles of clothing superfluous in the costume of mature males and

inelastic to alterations of mass by expansion.

How was the irritation allayed?

He removed his collar, with contained black necktie and collapsible

stud, from his neck to a position on the left of the table. He

unbuttoned successively in reversed direction waistcoat, trousers,

shirt and vest along the medial line of irregular incrispated black

hairs extending in triangular convergence from the pelvic basin over

the circumference of the abdomen and umbilicular fossicle along the

medial line of nodes to the intersection of the sixth pectoral

vertebrae, thence produced both ways at right angles and terminating in

circles described about two equidistant points, right and left, on the

summits of the mammary prominences. He unbraced successively each of

six minus one braced trouser buttons, arranged in pairs, of which one

incomplete.

What involuntary actions followed?

He compressed between 2 fingers the flesh circumjacent to a cicatrice

in the left infracostal region below the diaphragm resulting from a

sting inflicted 2 weeks and 3 days previously (23 May 1904) by a bee.

He scratched imprecisely with his right hand, though insensible of

prurition, various points and surfaces of his partly exposed, wholly

abluted skin. He inserted his left hand into the left lower pocket of

his waistcoat and extracted and replaced a silver coin (1 shilling),

placed there (presumably) on the occasion (17 October 1903) of the

interment of Mrs Emily Sinico, Sydney Parade.

Compile the budget for 16 June 1904.

Debit

£. s. d.

1 Pork kidney 0—0—3

1 Copy Freeman’s Journal 0—0—1

1 Bath and Gratification 0—1—6

Tramfare 0—0—1

1 In Memoriam Patrick Dignam 0—5—0

2 Banbury cakes 0—0—1

1 Lunch 0—0—7

1 Renewal fee for book 0—1—0

1 Packet Notepaper and Envelopes 0—0—2

1 Dinner and Gratification 0—2—0

1 Postal Order and Stamp 0—2—8

Tramfare 0—0—1

1 Pig’s Foot 0—0—4

1 Sheep’s Trotter 0—0—3

1 Cake Fry’s Plain Chocolate 0—0—1

1 Square Soda Bread 0—0—4

1 Coffee and Bun 0—0—4

Loan (Stephen Dedalus) refunded 1—7—0

BALANCE 0—16—6

—————

2—19—3

Credit

£. s. d.

Cash in hand 0—4—9

Commission recd. Freeman’s Journal 1—7—6

Loan (Stephen Dedalus) 1—7—0

—————

2—19—3

Did the process of divestiture continue?

Did the process of divestiture continue?

Sensible of a benignant persistent ache in his footsoles he extended

his foot to one side and observed the creases, protuberances and

salient points caused by foot pressure in the course of walking

repeatedly in several different directions, then, inclined, he disnoded

the laceknots, unhooked and loosened the laces, took off each of his

two boots for the second time, detached the partially moistened right

sock through the fore part of which the nail of his great toe had again

effracted, raised his right foot and, having unhooked a purple elastic

sock suspender, took off his right sock, placed his unclothed right

foot on the margin of the seat of his chair, picked at and gently

lacerated the protruding part of the great toenail, raised the part

lacerated to his nostrils and inhaled the odour of the quick, then,

with satisfaction, threw away the lacerated ungual fragment.

Why with satisfaction?

Because the odour inhaled corresponded to other odours inhaled of other

ungual fragments, picked and lacerated by Master Bloom, pupil of Mrs

Ellis’s juvenile school, patiently each night in the act of brief

genuflection and nocturnal prayer and ambitious meditation.

In what ultimate ambition had all concurrent and consecutive ambitions

now coalesced?

Not to inherit by right of primogeniture, gavelkind or borough English,

or possess in perpetuity an extensive demesne of a sufficient number of

acres, roods and perches, statute land measure (valuation £ 42), of

grazing turbary surrounding a baronial hall with gatelodge and carriage

drive nor, on the other hand, a terracehouse or semidetached villa,

described as _Rus in Urbe_ or _Qui si sana_, but to purchase by private

treaty in fee simple a thatched bungalowshaped 2 storey dwellinghouse

of southerly aspect, surmounted by vane and lightning conductor,

connected with the earth, with porch covered by parasitic plants (ivy

or Virginia creeper), halldoor, olive green, with smart carriage finish

and neat doorbrasses, stucco front with gilt tracery at eaves and

gable, rising, if possible, upon a gentle eminence with agreeable

prospect from balcony with stone pillar parapet over unoccupied and

unoccupyable interjacent pastures and standing in 5 or 6 acres of its

own ground, at such a distance from the nearest public thoroughfare as

to render its houselights visible at night above and through a quickset

hornbeam hedge of topiary cutting, situate at a given point not less

than 1 statute mile from the periphery of the metropolis, within a time

limit of not more than 15 minutes from tram or train line (e.g.,

Dundrum, south, or Sutton, north, both localities equally reported by

trial to resemble the terrestrial poles in being favourable climates

for phthisical subjects), the premises to be held under feefarm grant,

lease 999 years, the messuage to consist of 1 drawingroom with

baywindow (2 lancets), thermometer affixed, 1 sittingroom, 4 bedrooms,

2 servants’ rooms, tiled kitchen with close range and scullery, lounge

hall fitted with linen wallpresses, fumed oak sectional bookcase

containing the Encyclopaedia Britannica and New Century Dictionary,

transverse obsolete medieval and oriental weapons, dinner gong,

alabaster lamp, bowl pendant, vulcanite automatic telephone receiver

with adjacent directory, handtufted Axminster carpet with cream ground

and trellis border, loo table with pillar and claw legs, hearth with

massive firebrasses and ormolu mantel chronometer clock, guaranteed

timekeeper with cathedral chime, barometer with hygrographic chart,

comfortable lounge settees and corner fitments, upholstered in ruby

plush with good springing and sunk centre, three banner Japanese screen

and cuspidors (club style, rich winecoloured leather, gloss renewable

with a minimum of labour by use of linseed oil and vinegar) and

pyramidically prismatic central chandelier lustre, bentwood perch with

fingertame parrot (expurgated language), embossed mural paper at 10/-

per dozen with transverse swags of carmine floral design and top crown

frieze, staircase, three continuous flights at successive right angles,

of varnished cleargrained oak, treads and risers, newel, balusters and

handrail, with steppedup panel dado, dressed with camphorated wax:

bathroom, hot and cold supply, reclining and shower: water closet on

mezzanine provided with opaque singlepane oblong window, tipup seat,

bracket lamp, brass tierod and brace, armrests, footstool and artistic

oleograph on inner face of door: ditto, plain: servants’ apartments

with separate sanitary and hygienic necessaries for cook, general and

betweenmaid (salary, rising by biennial unearned increments of £ 2,

with comprehensive fidelity insurance, annual bonus (£ 1) and retiring

allowance (based on the 65 system) after 30 years’ service), pantry,

buttery, larder, refrigerator, outoffices, coal and wood cellarage with

winebin (still and sparkling vintages) for distinguished guests, if

entertained to dinner (evening dress), carbon monoxide gas supply

throughout.

What additional attractions might the grounds contain?

As addenda, a tennis and fives court, a shrubbery, a glass summerhouse

with tropical palms, equipped in the best botanical manner, a rockery

with waterspray, a beehive arranged on humane principles, oval

flowerbeds in rectangular grassplots set with eccentric ellipses of

scarlet and chrome tulips, blue scillas, crocuses, polyanthus, sweet

William, sweet pea, lily of the valley (bulbs obtainable from sir James

W. Mackey (Limited) wholesale and retail seed and bulb merchants and

nurserymen, agents for chemical manures, 23 Sackville street, upper),

an orchard, kitchen garden and vinery, protected against illegal

trespassers by glasstopped mural enclosures, a lumbershed with padlock

for various inventoried implements.

As?

Eeltraps, lobsterpots, fishingrods, hatchet, steelyard, grindstone,

clodcrusher, swatheturner, carriagesack, telescope ladder, 10 tooth

rake, washing clogs, haytedder, tumbling rake, billhook, paintpot,

brush, hoe and so on.

What improvements might be subsequently introduced?

A rabbitry and fowlrun, a dovecote, a botanical conservatory, 2

hammocks (lady’s and gentleman’s), a sundial shaded and sheltered by

laburnum or lilac trees, an exotically harmonically accorded Japanese

tinkle gatebell affixed to left lateral gatepost, a capacious

waterbutt, a lawnmower with side delivery and grassbox, a lawnsprinkler

with hydraulic hose.

What facilities of transit were desirable?

When citybound frequent connection by train or tram from their

respective intermediate station or terminal. When countrybound

velocipedes, a chainless freewheel roadster cycle with side basketcar

attached, or draught conveyance, a donkey with wicker trap or smart

phaeton with good working solidungular cob (roan gelding, 14 h).

What might be the name of this erigible or erected residence?

Bloom Cottage. Saint Leopold’s. Flowerville.

Could Bloom of 7 Eccles street foresee Bloom of Flowerville?

In loose allwool garments with Harris tweed cap, price 8/6, and useful

garden boots with elastic gussets and wateringcan, planting aligned

young firtrees, syringing, pruning, staking, sowing hayseed, trundling

a weedladen wheelbarrow without excessive fatigue at sunset amid the

scent of newmown hay, ameliorating the soil, multiplying wisdom,

achieving longevity.

What syllabus of intellectual pursuits was simultaneously possible?

Snapshot photography, comparative study of religions, folklore relative

to various amatory and superstitious practices, contemplation of the

celestial constellations.

What lighter recreations?

Outdoor: garden and fieldwork, cycling on level macadamised causeways,

ascents of moderately high hills, natation in secluded fresh water and

unmolested river boating in secure wherry or light curricle with kedge

anchor on reaches free from weirs and rapids (period of estivation),

vespertinal perambulation or equestrian circumprocession with

inspection of sterile landscape and contrastingly agreeable cottagers’

fires of smoking peat turves (period of hibernation). Indoor:

discussion in tepid security of unsolved historical and criminal

problems: lecture of unexpurgated exotic erotic masterpieces: house

carpentry with toolbox containing hammer, awl, nails, screws, tintacks,

gimlet, tweezers, bullnose plane and turnscrew.

Might he become a gentleman farmer of field produce and live stock?

Not impossibly, with 1 or 2 stripper cows, 1 pike of upland hay and

requisite farming implements, e.g., an end-to-end churn, a turnip

pulper etc.

What would be his civic functions and social status among the county

families and landed gentry?

Arranged successively in ascending powers of hierarchical order, that

of gardener, groundsman, cultivator, breeder, and at the zenith of his

career, resident magistrate or justice of the peace with a family crest

and coat of arms and appropriate classical motto _(Semper paratus_),

duly recorded in the court directory (Bloom, Leopold P., M. P., P. C.,

K. P., L. L. D. (_honoris causa_), Bloomville, Dundrum) and mentioned

in court and fashionable intelligence (Mr and Mrs Leopold Bloom have

left Kingstown for England).

What course of action did he outline for himself in such capacity?

A course that lay between undue clemency and excessive rigour: the

dispensation in a heterogeneous society of arbitrary classes,

incessantly rearranged in terms of greater and lesser social

inequality, of unbiassed homogeneous indisputable justice, tempered

with mitigants of the widest possible latitude but exactable to the

uttermost farthing with confiscation of estate, real and personal, to

the crown. Loyal to the highest constituted power in the land, actuated

by an innate love of rectitude his aims would be the strict maintenance

of public order, the repression of many abuses though not of all

simultaneously (every measure of reform or retrenchment being a

preliminary solution to be contained by fluxion in the final solution),

the upholding of the letter of the law (common, statute and law

merchant) against all traversers in covin and trespassers acting in

contravention of bylaws and regulations, all resuscitators (by trespass

and petty larceny of kindlings) of venville rights, obsolete by

desuetude, all orotund instigators of international persecution, all

perpetuators of international animosities, all menial molestors of

domestic conviviality, all recalcitrant violators of domestic

connubiality.

Prove that he had loved rectitude from his earliest youth.

To Master Percy Apjohn at High School in 1880 he had divulged his

disbelief in the tenets of the Irish (protestant) church (to which his

father Rudolf Virag (later Rudolph Bloom) had been converted from the

Israelitic faith and communion in 1865 by the Society for promoting

Christianity among the jews) subsequently abjured by him in favour of

Roman catholicism at the epoch of and with a view to his matrimony in

1888. To Daniel Magrane and Francis Wade in 1882 during a juvenile

friendship (terminated by the premature emigration of the former) he

had advocated during nocturnal perambulations the political theory of

colonial (e.g. Canadian) expansion and the evolutionary theories of

Charles Darwin, expounded in _The Descent of Man_ and _The Origin of

Species_. In 1885 he had publicly expressed his adherence to the

collective and national economic programme advocated by James Fintan

Lalor, John Fisher Murray, John Mitchel, J. F. X. O’Brien and others,

the agrarian policy of Michael Davitt, the constitutional agitation of

Charles Stewart Parnell (M. P. for Cork City), the programme of peace,

retrenchment and reform of William Ewart Gladstone (M. P. for

Midlothian, N. B.) and, in support of his political convictions, had

climbed up into a secure position amid the ramifications of a tree on

Northumberland road to see the entrance (2 February 1888) into the

capital of a demonstrative torchlight procession of 20,000

torchbearers, divided into 120 trade corporations, bearing 2000 torches

in escort of the marquess of Ripon and (honest) John Morley.

How much and how did he propose to pay for this country residence?

As per prospectus of the Industrious Foreign Acclimatised Nationalised

Friendly Stateaided Building Society (incorporated 1874), a maximum of

£ 60 per annum, being 1/6 of an assured income, derived from giltedged

securities, representing at 5 % simple interest on capital of £ 1200

(estimate of price at 20 years’ purchase), of which 1/3 to be paid on

acquisition and the balance in the form of annual rent, viz. £ 800 plus

2 1/2 % interest on the same, repayable quarterly in equal annual

instalments until extinction by amortisation of loan advanced for

purchase within a period of 20 years, amounting to an annual rental of

£ 64, headrent included, the titledeeds to remain in possession of the

lender or lenders with a saving clause envisaging forced sale,

foreclosure and mutual compensation in the event of protracted failure

to pay the terms assigned, otherwise the messuage to become the

absolute property of the tenant occupier upon expiry of the period of

years stipulated.

What rapid but insecure means to opulence might facilitate immediate

purchase?

A private wireless telegraph which would transmit by dot and dash

system the result of a national equine handicap (flat or steeplechase)

of 1 or more miles and furlongs won by an outsider at odds of 50 to 1

at 3 hr 8 m p.m. at Ascot (Greenwich time), the message being received

and available for betting purposes in Dublin at 2.59 p.m. (Dunsink

time). The unexpected discovery of an object of great monetary value

(precious stone, valuable adhesive or impressed postage stamps (7

schilling, mauve, imperforate, Hamburg, 1866: 4 pence, rose, blue

paper, perforate, Great Britain, 1855: 1 franc, stone, official,

rouletted, diagonal surcharge, Luxemburg, 1878), antique dynastical

ring, unique relic) in unusual repositories or by unusual means: from

the air (dropped by an eagle in flight), by fire (amid the carbonised

remains of an incendiated edifice), in the sea (amid flotsam, jetsam,

lagan and derelict), on earth (in the gizzard of a comestible fowl). A

Spanish prisoner’s donation of a distant treasure of valuables or

specie or bullion lodged with a solvent banking corporation 100 years

previously at 5% compound interest of the collective worth of £

5,000,000 stg (five million pounds sterling). A contract with an

inconsiderate contractee for the delivery of 32 consignments of some

given commodity in consideration of cash payment on delivery per

delivery at the initial rate of 1/4d to be increased constantly in the

geometrical progression of 2 (1/4d, 1/2d, 1d, 2d, 4d, 8d, 1s 4d, 2s 8d

to 32 terms). A prepared scheme based on a study of the laws of

probability to break the bank at Monte Carlo. A solution of the secular

problem of the quadrature of the circle, government premium £ 1,000,000

sterling.

Was vast wealth acquirable through industrial channels?

The reclamation of dunams of waste arenary soil, proposed in the

prospectus of Agendath Netaim, Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 15, by the

cultivation of orange plantations and melonfields and reafforestation.

The utilisation of waste paper, fells of sewer rodents, human excrement

possessing chemical properties, in view of the vast production of the

first, vast number of the second and immense quantity of the third,

every normal human being of average vitality and appetite producing

annually, cancelling byproducts of water, a sum total of 80 lbs. (mixed

animal and vegetable diet), to be multiplied by 4,386,035, the total

population of Ireland according to census returns of 1901.

Were there schemes of wider scope?

A scheme to be formulated and submitted for approval to the harbour

commissioners for the exploitation of white coal (hydraulic power),

obtained by hydroelectric plant at peak of tide at Dublin bar or at

head of water at Poulaphouca or Powerscourt or catchment basins of main

streams for the economic production of 500,000 W. H. P. of electricity.

A scheme to enclose the peninsular delta of the North Bull at

Dollymount and erect on the space of the foreland, used for golf links

and rifle ranges, an asphalted esplanade with casinos, booths, shooting

galleries, hotels, boardinghouses, readingrooms, establishments for

mixed bathing. A scheme for the use of dogvans and goatvans for the

delivery of early morning milk. A scheme for the development of Irish

tourist traffic in and around Dublin by means of petrolpropelled

riverboats, plying in the fluvial fairway between Island bridge and

Ringsend, charabancs, narrow gauge local railways, and pleasure

steamers for coastwise navigation (10/- per person per day, guide

(trilingual) included). A scheme for the repristination of passenger

and goods traffics over Irish waterways, when freed from weedbeds. A

scheme to connect by tramline the Cattle Market (North Circular road

and Prussia street) with the quays (Sheriff street, lower, and East

Wall), parallel with the Link line railway laid (in conjunction with

the Great Southern and Western railway line) between the cattle park,

Liffey junction, and terminus of Midland Great Western Railway 43 to 45

North Wall, in proximity to the terminal stations or Dublin branches of

Great Central Railway, Midland Railway of England, City of Dublin Steam

Packet Company, Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway Company, Dublin and

Glasgow Steam Packet Company, Glasgow, Dublin and Londonderry Steam

Packet Company (Laird line), British and Irish Steam Packet Company,

Dublin and Morecambe Steamers, London and North Western Railway

Company, Dublin Port and Docks Board Landing Sheds and transit sheds of

Palgrave, Murphy and Company, steamship owners, agents for steamers

from Mediterranean, Spain, Portugal, France, Belgium and Holland and

for Liverpool Underwriters’ Association, the cost of acquired rolling

stock for animal transport and of additional mileage operated by the

Dublin United Tramways Company, limited, to be covered by graziers’

fees.

Positing what protasis would the contraction for such several schemes

become a natural and necessary apodosis?

Given a guarantee equal to the sum sought, the support, by deed of gift

and transfer vouchers during donor’s lifetime or by bequest after

donor’s painless extinction, of eminent financiers (Blum Pasha,

Rothschild, Guggenheim, Hirsch, Montefiore, Morgan, Rockefeller)

possessing fortunes in 6 figures, amassed during a successful life, and

joining capital with opportunity the thing required was done.

What eventuality would render him independent of such wealth?

The independent discovery of a goldseam of inexhaustible ore.

For what reason did he meditate on schemes so difficult of realisation?

It was one of his axioms that similar meditations or the automatic

relation to himself of a narrative concerning himself or tranquil

recollection of the past when practised habitually before retiring for

the night alleviated fatigue and produced as a result sound repose and

renovated vitality.

His justifications?

As a physicist he had learned that of the 70 years of complete human

life at least 2/7, viz. 20 years are passed in sleep. As a philosopher

he knew that at the termination of any allotted life only an

infinitesimal part of any person’s desires has been realised. As a

physiologist he believed in the artificial placation of malignant

agencies chiefly operative during somnolence.

What did he fear?

The committal of homicide or suicide during sleep by an aberration of

the light of reason, the incommensurable categorical intelligence

situated in the cerebral convolutions.

What were habitually his final meditations?

Of some one sole unique advertisement to cause passers to stop in

wonder, a poster novelty, with all extraneous accretions excluded,

reduced to its simplest and most efficient terms not exceeding the span

of casual vision and congruous with the velocity of modern life.

What did the first drawer unlocked contain?

A Vere Foster’s handwriting copybook, property of Milly (Millicent)

Bloom, certain pages of which bore diagram drawings, marked _Papli_,

which showed a large globular head with 5 hairs erect, 2 eyes in

profile, the trunk full front with 3 large buttons, 1 triangular foot:

2 fading photographs of queen Alexandra of England and of Maud

Branscombe, actress and professional beauty: a Yuletide card, bearing

on it a pictorial representation of a parasitic plant, the legend

_Mizpah_, the date Xmas 1892, the name of the senders: from Mr + Mrs M.

Comerford, the versicle: _May this Yuletide bring to thee, Joy and

peace and welcome glee_: a butt of red partly liquefied sealing wax,

obtained from the stores department of Messrs Hely’s, Ltd., 89, 90, and

91 Dame street: a box containing the remainder of a gross of gilt “J”

pennibs, obtained from same department of same firm: an old sandglass

which rolled containing sand which rolled: a sealed prophecy (never

unsealed) written by Leopold Bloom in 1886 concerning the consequences

of the passing into law of William Ewart Gladstone’s Home Rule bill of

1886 (never passed into law): a bazaar ticket, No 2004, of S. Kevin’s

Charity Fair, price 6d, 100 prizes: an infantile epistle, dated, small

em monday, reading: capital pee Papli comma capital aitch How are you

note of interrogation capital eye I am very well full stop new

paragraph signature with flourishes capital em Milly no stop: a cameo

brooch, property of Ellen Bloom (born Higgins), deceased: a cameo

scarfpin, property of Rudolph Bloom (born Virag), deceased: 3

typewritten letters, addressee, Henry Flower, c/o. P. O. Westland Row,

addresser, Martha Clifford, c/o. P. O. Dolphin’s Barn: the

transliterated name and address of the addresser of the 3 letters in

reversed alphabetic boustrophedonic punctated quadrilinear cryptogram

(vowels suppressed) N. IGS./WI. UU. OX/W. OKS. MH/Y. IM: a press

cutting from an English weekly periodical _Modern Society_, subject

corporal chastisement in girls’ schools: a pink ribbon which had

festooned an Easter egg in the year 1899: two partly uncoiled rubber

preservatives with reserve pockets, purchased by post from Box 32, P.

O., Charing Cross, London, W. C.: 1 pack of 1 dozen creamlaid envelopes

and feintruled notepaper, watermarked, now reduced by 3: some assorted

Austrian-Hungarian coins: 2 coupons of the Royal and Privileged

Hungarian Lottery: a lowpower magnifying glass: 2 erotic photocards

showing a) buccal coition between nude senorita (rere presentation,

superior position) and nude torero (fore presentation, inferior

position) b) anal violation by male religious (fully clothed, eyes

abject) of female religious (partly clothed, eyes direct), purchased by

post from Box 32, P. O., Charing Cross, London, W. C.: a press cutting

of recipe for renovation of old tan boots: a 1d adhesive stamp,

lavender, of the reign of Queen Victoria: a chart of the measurements

of Leopold Bloom compiled before, during and after 2 months’

consecutive use of Sandow-Whiteley’s pulley exerciser (men’s 15/-,

athlete’s 20/-) viz. chest 28 in and 29 1/2 in, biceps 9 in and 10 in,

forearm 8 1/2 in and 9 in, thigh 10 in and 12 in, calf 11 in and 12 in:

1 prospectus of The Wonderworker, the world’s greatest remedy for

rectal complaints, direct from Wonderworker, Coventry House, South

Place, London E C, addressed (erroneously) to Mrs L. Bloom with brief

accompanying note commencing (erroneously): Dear Madam.

Quote the textual terms in which the prospectus claimed advantages for

this thaumaturgic remedy.

It heals and soothes while you sleep, in case of trouble in breaking

wind, assists nature in the most formidable way, insuring instant

relief in discharge of gases, keeping parts clean and free natural

action, an initial outlay of 7/6 making a new man of you and life worth

living. Ladies find Wonderworker especially useful, a pleasant surprise

when they note delightful result like a cool drink of fresh spring

water on a sultry summer’s day. Recommend it to your lady and gentlemen

friends, lasts a lifetime. Insert long round end. Wonderworker.

Were there testimonials?

Numerous. From clergyman, British naval officer, wellknown author, city

man, hospital nurse, lady, mother of five, absentminded beggar.

How did absentminded beggar’s concluding testimonial conclude?

What a pity the government did not supply our men with wonderworkers

during the South African campaign! What a relief it would have been!

What object did Bloom add to this collection of objects?

A 4th typewritten letter received by Henry Flower (let H. F. be L. B.)

from Martha Clifford (find M. C.).

What pleasant reflection accompanied this action?

The reflection that, apart from the letter in question, his magnetic

face, form and address had been favourably received during the course

of the preceding day by a wife (Mrs Josephine Breen, born Josie

Powell), a nurse, Miss Callan (Christian name unknown), a maid,

Gertrude (Gerty, family name unknown).

What possibility suggested itself?

The possibility of exercising virile power of fascination in the not

immediate future after an expensive repast in a private apartment in

the company of an elegant courtesan, of corporal beauty, moderately

mercenary, variously instructed, a lady by origin.

What did the 2nd drawer contain?

Documents: the birth certificate of Leopold Paula Bloom: an endowment

assurance policy of £ 500 in the Scottish Widows’ Assurance Society,

intestated Millicent (Milly) Bloom, coming into force at 25 years as

with profit policy of £ 430, £ 462-10-0 and £ 500 at 60 years or death,

65 years or death and death, respectively, or with profit policy

(paidup) of £ 299-10-0 together with cash payment of £ 133-10-0, at

option: a bank passbook issued by the Ulster Bank, College Green branch

showing statement of a/c for halfyear ending 31 December 1903, balance

in depositor’s favour: £ 18-14-6 (eighteen pounds, fourteen shillings

and sixpence, sterling), net personalty: certificate of possession of £

900, Canadian 4% (inscribed) government stock (free of stamp duty):

dockets of the Catholic Cemeteries’ (Glasnevin) Committee, relative to

a graveplot purchased: a local press cutting concerning change of name

by deedpoll.

Quote the textual terms of this notice.

I, Rudolph Virag, now resident at no 52 Clanbrassil street, Dublin,

formerly of Szombathely in the kingdom of Hungary, hereby give notice

that I have assumed and intend henceforth upon all occasions and at all

times to be known by the name of Rudolph Bloom.

What other objects relative to Rudolph Bloom (born Virag) were in the

2nd drawer?

An indistinct daguerreotype of Rudolf Virag and his father Leopold

Virag executed in the year 1852 in the portrait atelier of their

(respectively) 1st and 2nd cousin, Stefan Virag of Szesfehervar,

Hungary. An ancient haggadah book in which a pair of hornrimmed convex

spectacles inserted marked the passage of thanksgiving in the ritual

prayers for Pessach (Passover): a photocard of the Queen’s Hotel,

Ennis, proprietor, Rudolph Bloom: an envelope addressed: _To My Dear

Son Leopold_.

What fractions of phrases did the lecture of those five whole words

evoke?

Tomorrow will be a week that I received... it is no use Leopold to be

... with your dear mother... that is not more to stand... to her... all

for me is out... be kind to Athos, Leopold... my dear son... always...

of me... _das Herz... Gott... dein_...

What reminiscences of a human subject suffering from progressive

melancholia did these objects evoke in Bloom?

An old man, widower, unkempt of hair, in bed, with head covered,

sighing: an infirm dog, Athos: aconite, resorted to by increasing doses

of grains and scruples as a palliative of recrudescent neuralgia: the

face in death of a septuagenarian, suicide by poison.

Why did Bloom experience a sentiment of remorse?

Because in immature impatience he had treated with disrespect certain

beliefs and practices.

As?

The prohibition of the use of fleshmeat and milk at one meal: the

hebdomadary symposium of incoordinately abstract, perfervidly concrete

mercantile coexreligionist excompatriots: the circumcision of male

infants: the supernatural character of Judaic scripture: the

ineffability of the tetragrammaton: the sanctity of the sabbath.

How did these beliefs and practices now appear to him?

Not more rational than they had then appeared, not less rational than

other beliefs and practices now appeared.

What first reminiscence had he of Rudolph Bloom (deceased)?

Rudolph Bloom (deceased) narrated to his son Leopold Bloom (aged 6) a

retrospective arrangement of migrations and settlements in and between

Dublin, London, Florence, Milan, Vienna, Budapest, Szombathely with

statements of satisfaction (his grandfather having seen Maria Theresia,

empress of Austria, queen of Hungary), with commercial advice (having

taken care of pence, the pounds having taken care of themselves).

Leopold Bloom (aged 6) had accompanied these narrations by constant

consultation of a geographical map of Europe (political) and by

suggestions for the establishment of affiliated business premises in

the various centres mentioned.

Had time equally but differently obliterated the memory of these

migrations in narrator and listener?

In narrator by the access of years and in consequence of the use of

narcotic toxin: in listener by the access of years and in consequence

of the action of distraction upon vicarious experiences.

What idiosyncracies of the narrator were concomitant products of

amnesia?

Occasionally he ate without having previously removed his hat.

Occasionally he drank voraciously the juice of gooseberry fool from an

inclined plate. Occasionally he removed from his lips the traces of

food by means of a lacerated envelope or other accessible fragment of

paper.

What two phenomena of senescence were more frequent?

The myopic digital calculation of coins, eructation consequent upon

repletion.

What object offered partial consolation for these reminiscences?

The endowment policy, the bank passbook, the certificate of the

possession of scrip.

Reduce Bloom by cross multiplication of reverses of fortune, from which

these supports protected him, and by elimination of all positive values

to a negligible negative irrational unreal quantity.

Successively, in descending helotic order: Poverty: that of the outdoor

hawker of imitation jewellery, the dun for the recovery of bad and

doubtful debts, the poor rate and deputy cess collector. Mendicancy:

that of the fraudulent bankrupt with negligible assets paying 1/4d in

the £, sandwichman, distributor of throwaways, nocturnal vagrant,

insinuating sycophant, maimed sailor, blind stripling, superannuated

bailiff’s man, marfeast, lickplate, spoilsport, pickthank, eccentric

public laughingstock seated on bench of public park under discarded

perforated umbrella. Destitution: the inmate of Old Man’s House (Royal

Hospital), Kilmainham, the inmate of Simpson’s Hospital for reduced but

respectable men permanently disabled by gout or want of sight. Nadir of

misery: the aged impotent disfranchised ratesupported moribund lunatic

pauper.

With which attendant indignities?

The unsympathetic indifference of previously amiable females, the

contempt of muscular males, the acceptance of fragments of bread, the

simulated ignorance of casual acquaintances, the latration of

illegitimate unlicensed vagabond dogs, the infantile discharge of

decomposed vegetable missiles, worth little or nothing, nothing or less

than nothing.

By what could such a situation be precluded?

By decease (change of state): by departure (change of place).

Which preferably?

The latter, by the line of least resistance.

What considerations rendered departure not entirely undesirable?

Constant cohabitation impeding mutual toleration of personal defects.

The habit of independent purchase increasingly cultivated. The

necessity to counteract by impermanent sojourn the permanence of

arrest.

What considerations rendered departure not irrational?

The parties concerned, uniting, had increased and multiplied, which

being done, offspring produced and educed to maturity, the parties, if

not disunited were obliged to reunite for increase and multiplication,

which was absurd, to form by reunion the original couple of uniting

parties, which was impossible.

What considerations rendered departure desirable?

The attractive character of certain localities in Ireland and abroad,

as represented in general geographical maps of polychrome design or in

special ordnance survey charts by employment of scale numerals and

hachures.

In Ireland?

The cliffs of Moher, the windy wilds of Connemara, lough Neagh with

submerged petrified city, the Giant’s Causeway, Fort Camden and Fort

Carlisle, the Golden Vale of Tipperary, the islands of Aran, the

pastures of royal Meath, Brigid’s elm in Kildare, the Queen’s Island

shipyard in Belfast, the Salmon Leap, the lakes of Killarney.

Abroad?

Ceylon (with spicegardens supplying tea to Thomas Kernan, agent for

Pulbrook, Robertson and Co, 2 Mincing Lane, London, E. C., 5 Dame

street, Dublin), Jerusalem, the holy city (with mosque of Omar and gate

of Damascus, goal of aspiration), the straits of Gibraltar (the unique

birthplace of Marion Tweedy), the Parthenon (containing statues of nude

Grecian divinities), the Wall street money market (which controlled

international finance), the Plaza de Toros at La Linea, Spain (where

O’Hara of the Camerons had slain the bull), Niagara (over which no

human being had passed with impunity), the land of the Eskimos (eaters

of soap), the forbidden country of Thibet (from which no traveller

returns), the bay of Naples (to see which was to die), the Dead Sea.

Under what guidance, following what signs?

At sea, septentrional, by night the polestar, located at the point of

intersection of the right line from beta to alpha in Ursa Maior

produced and divided externally at omega and the hypotenuse of the

rightangled triangle formed by the line alpha omega so produced and the

line alpha delta of Ursa Maior. On land, meridional, a bispherical

moon, revealed in imperfect varying phases of lunation through the

posterior interstice of the imperfectly occluded skirt of a carnose

negligent perambulating female, a pillar of the cloud by day.

What public advertisement would divulge the occultation of the

departed?

£ 5 reward, lost, stolen or strayed from his residence 7 Eccles street,

missing gent about 40, answering to the name of Bloom, Leopold (Poldy),

height 5 ft 9 1/2 inches, full build, olive complexion, may have since

grown a beard, when last seen was wearing a black suit. Above sum will

be paid for information leading to his discovery.

What universal binomial denominations would be his as entity and

nonentity?

Assumed by any or known to none. Everyman or Noman.

What tributes his?

Honour and gifts of strangers, the friends of Everyman. A nymph

immortal, beauty, the bride of Noman.

Would the departed never nowhere nohow reappear?

Ever he would wander, selfcompelled, to the extreme limit of his

cometary orbit, beyond the fixed stars and variable suns and telescopic

planets, astronomical waifs and strays, to the extreme boundary of

space, passing from land to land, among peoples, amid events. Somewhere

imperceptibly he would hear and somehow reluctantly, suncompelled, obey

the summons of recall. Whence, disappearing from the constellation of

the Northern Crown he would somehow reappear reborn above delta in the

constellation of Cassiopeia and after incalculable eons of

peregrination return an estranged avenger, a wreaker of justice on

malefactors, a dark crusader, a sleeper awakened, with financial

resources (by supposition) surpassing those of Rothschild or the silver

king.

What would render such return irrational?

An unsatisfactory equation between an exodus and return in time through

reversible space and an exodus and return in space through irreversible

time.

What play of forces, inducing inertia, rendered departure undesirable?

The lateness of the hour, rendering procrastinatory: the obscurity of

the night, rendering invisible: the uncertainty of thoroughfares,

rendering perilous: the necessity for repose, obviating movement: the

proximity of an occupied bed, obviating research: the anticipation of

warmth (human) tempered with coolness (linen), obviating desire and

rendering desirable: the statue of Narcissus, sound without echo,

desired desire.

What advantages were possessed by an occupied, as distinct from an

unoccupied bed?

The removal of nocturnal solitude, the superior quality of human

(mature female) to inhuman (hotwaterjar) calefaction, the stimulation

of matutinal contact, the economy of mangling done on the premises in

the case of trousers accurately folded and placed lengthwise between

the spring mattress (striped) and the woollen mattress (biscuit

section).

What past consecutive causes, before rising preapprehended, of

accumulated fatigue did Bloom, before rising, silently recapitulate?

The preparation of breakfast (burnt offering): intestinal congestion

and premeditative defecation (holy of holies): the bath (rite of John):

the funeral (rite of Samuel): the advertisement of Alexander Keyes

(Urim and Thummim): the unsubstantial lunch (rite of Melchisedek): the

visit to museum and national library (holy place): the bookhunt along

Bedford row, Merchants’ Arch, Wellington Quay (Simchath Torah): the

music in the Ormond Hotel (Shira Shirim): the altercation with a

truculent troglodyte in Bernard Kiernan’s premises (holocaust): a blank

period of time including a cardrive, a visit to a house of mourning, a

leavetaking (wilderness): the eroticism produced by feminine

exhibitionism (rite of Onan): the prolonged delivery of Mrs Mina

Purefoy (heave offering): the visit to the disorderly house of Mrs

Bella Cohen, 82 Tyrone street, lower, and subsequent brawl and chance

medley in Beaver street (Armageddon): nocturnal perambulation to and

from the cabman’s shelter, Butt Bridge (atonement).

What selfimposed enigma did Bloom about to rise in order to go so as to

conclude lest he should not conclude involuntarily apprehend?

The cause of a brief sharp unforeseen heard loud lone crack emitted by

the insentient material of a strainveined timber table.

What selfinvolved enigma did Bloom risen, going, gathering

multicoloured multiform multitudinous garments, voluntarily

apprehending, not comprehend?

Who was M’Intosh?

What selfevident enigma pondered with desultory constancy during 30

years did Bloom now, having effected natural obscurity by the

extinction of artificial light, silently suddenly comprehend?

Where was Moses when the candle went out?

What imperfections in a perfect day did Bloom, walking, charged with

collected articles of recently disvested male wearing apparel,

silently, successively, enumerate?

A provisional failure to obtain renewal of an advertisement: to obtain

a certain quantity of tea from Thomas Kernan (agent for Pulbrook,

Robertson and Co, 5 Dame Street, Dublin, and 2 Mincing Lane, London E.

C.): to certify the presence or absence of posterior rectal orifice in

the case of Hellenic female divinities: to obtain admission (gratuitous

or paid) to the performance of _Leah_ by Mrs Bandmann Palmer at the

Gaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South King street.

What impression of an absent face did Bloom, arrested, silently recall?

The face of her father, the late Major Brian Cooper Tweedy, Royal

Dublin Fusiliers, of Gibraltar and Rehoboth, Dolphin’s Barn.

What recurrent impressions of the same were possible by hypothesis?

Retreating, at the terminus of the Great Northern Railway, Amiens

street, with constant uniform acceleration, along parallel lines

meeting at infinity, if produced: along parallel lines, reproduced from

infinity, with constant uniform retardation, at the terminus of the

Great Northern Railway, Amiens street, returning.

What miscellaneous effects of female personal wearing apparel were

perceived by him?

A pair of new inodorous halfsilk black ladies’ hose, a pair of new

violet garters, a pair of outsize ladies’ drawers of India mull, cut on

generous lines, redolent of opoponax, jessamine and Muratti’s Turkish

cigarettes and containing a long bright steel safety pin, folded

curvilinear, a camisole of batiste with thin lace border, an accordion

underskirt of blue silk moirette, all these objects being disposed

irregularly on the top of a rectangular trunk, quadruple battened,

having capped corners, with multicoloured labels, initialled on its

fore side in white lettering B. C. T. (Brian Cooper Tweedy).

What impersonal objects were perceived?

A commode, one leg fractured, totally covered by square cretonne

cutting, apple design, on which rested a lady’s black straw hat.

Orangekeyed ware, bought of Henry Price, basket, fancy goods, chinaware

and ironmongery manufacturer, 21, 22, 23 Moore street, disposed

irregularly on the washstand and floor and consisting of basin,

soapdish and brushtray (on the washstand, together), pitcher and night

article (on the floor, separate).

Bloom’s acts?

He deposited the articles of clothing on a chair, removed his remaining

articles of clothing, took from beneath the bolster at the head of the

bed a folded long white nightshirt, inserted his head and arms into the

proper apertures of the nightshirt, removed a pillow from the head to

the foot of the bed, prepared the bedlinen accordingly and entered the

bed.

How?

With circumspection, as invariably when entering an abode (his own or

not his own): with solicitude, the snakespiral springs of the mattress

being old, the brass quoits and pendent viper radii loose and tremulous

under stress and strain: prudently, as entering a lair or ambush of

lust or adders: lightly, the less to disturb: reverently, the bed of

conception and of birth, of consummation of marriage and of breach of

marriage, of sleep and of death.

What did his limbs, when gradually extended, encounter?

New clean bedlinen, additional odours, the presence of a human form,

female, hers, the imprint of a human form, male, not his, some crumbs,

some flakes of potted meat, recooked, which he removed.

If he had smiled why would he have smiled?

To reflect that each one who enters imagines himself to be the first to

enter whereas he is always the last term of a preceding series even if

the first term of a succeeding one, each imagining himself to be first,

last, only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only nor

alone in a series originating in and repeated to infinity.

What preceding series?

Assuming Mulvey to be the first term of his series, Penrose, Bartell

d’Arcy, professor Goodwin, Julius Mastiansky, John Henry Menton, Father

Bernard Corrigan, a farmer at the Royal Dublin Society’s Horse Show,

Maggot O’Reilly, Matthew Dillon, Valentine Blake Dillon (Lord Mayor of

Dublin), Christopher Callinan, Lenehan, an Italian organgrinder, an

unknown gentleman in the Gaiety Theatre, Benjamin Dollard, Simon

Dedalus, Andrew (Pisser) Burke, Joseph Cuffe, Wisdom Hely, Alderman

John Hooper, Dr Francis Brady, Father Sebastian of Mount Argus, a

bootblack at the General Post Office, Hugh E. (Blazes) Boylan and so

each and so on to no last term.

What were his reflections concerning the last member of this series and

late occupant of the bed?

Reflections on his vigour (a bounder), corporal proportion (a

billsticker), commercial ability (a bester), impressionability (a

boaster).

Why for the observer impressionability in addition to vigour, corporal

proportion and commercial ability?

Because he had observed with augmenting frequency in the preceding

members of the same series the same concupiscence, inflammably

transmitted, first with alarm, then with understanding, then with

desire, finally with fatigue, with alternating symptoms of epicene

comprehension and apprehension.

With what antagonistic sentiments were his subsequent reflections

affected?

Envy, jealousy, abnegation, equanimity.

Envy?

Of a bodily and mental male organism specially adapted for the

superincumbent posture of energetic human copulation and energetic

piston and cylinder movement necessary for the complete satisfaction of

a constant but not acute concupiscence resident in a bodily and mental

female organism, passive but not obtuse.

Jealousy?

Because a nature full and volatile in its free state, was alternately

the agent and reagent of attraction. Because attraction between

agent(s) and reagent(s) at all instants varied, with inverse proportion

of increase and decrease, with incessant circular extension and radial

reentrance. Because the controlled contemplation of the fluctuation of

attraction produced, if desired, a fluctuation of pleasure.

Abnegation?

In virtue of a) acquaintance initiated in September 1903 in the

establishment of George Mesias, merchant tailor and outfitter, 5 Eden

Quay, b) hospitality extended and received in kind, reciprocated and

reappropriated in person, c) comparative youth subject to impulses of

ambition and magnanimity, colleagual altruism and amorous egoism, d)

extraracial attraction, intraracial inhibition, supraracial

prerogative, e) an imminent provincial musical tour, common current

expenses, net proceeds divided.

Equanimity?

As as natural as any and every natural act of a nature expressed or

understood executed in natured nature by natural creatures in

accordance with his, her and their natured natures, of dissimilar

similarity. As not so calamitous as a cataclysmic annihilation of the

planet in consequence of a collision with a dark sun. As less

reprehensible than theft, highway robbery, cruelty to children and

animals, obtaining money under false pretences, forgery, embezzlement,

misappropriation of public money, betrayal of public trust,

malingering, mayhem, corruption of minors, criminal libel, blackmail,

contempt of court, arson, treason, felony, mutiny on the high seas,

trespass, burglary, jailbreaking, practice of unnatural vice, desertion

from armed forces in the field, perjury, poaching, usury, intelligence

with the king’s enemies, impersonation, criminal assault, manslaughter,

wilful and premeditated murder. As not more abnormal than all other

parallel processes of adaptation to altered conditions of existence,

resulting in a reciprocal equilibrium between the bodily organism and

its attendant circumstances, foods, beverages, acquired habits,

indulged inclinations, significant disease. As more than inevitable,

irreparable.

Why more abnegation than jealousy, less envy than equanimity?

From outrage (matrimony) to outrage (adultery) there arose nought but

outrage (copulation) yet the matrimonial violator of the matrimonially

violated had not been outraged by the adulterous violator of the

adulterously violated.

What retribution, if any?

Assassination, never, as two wrongs did not make one right. Duel by

combat, no. Divorce, not now. Exposure by mechanical artifice

(automatic bed) or individual testimony (concealed ocular witnesses),

not yet. Suit for damages by legal influence or simulation of assault

with evidence of injuries sustained (selfinflicted), not impossibly.

Hushmoney by moral influence, possibly. If any, positively, connivance,

introduction of emulation (material, a prosperous rival agency of

publicity: moral, a successful rival agent of intimacy), depreciation,

alienation, humiliation, separation protecting the one separated from

the other, protecting the separator from both.

By what reflections did he, a conscious reactor against the void of

incertitude, justify to himself his sentiments?

The preordained frangibility of the hymen: the presupposed

intangibility of the thing in itself: the incongruity and disproportion

between the selfprolonging tension of the thing proposed to be done and

the selfabbreviating relaxation of the thing done: the fallaciously

inferred debility of the female: the muscularity of the male: the

variations of ethical codes: the natural grammatical transition by

inversion involving no alteration of sense of an aorist preterite

proposition (parsed as masculine subject, monosyllabic onomatopoeic

transitive verb with direct feminine object) from the active voice into

its correlative aorist preterite proposition (parsed as feminine

subject, auxiliary verb and quasimonosyllabic onomatopoeic past

participle with complementary masculine agent) in the passive voice:

the continued product of seminators by generation: the continual

production of semen by distillation: the futility of triumph or protest

or vindication: the inanity of extolled virtue: the lethargy of

nescient matter: the apathy of the stars.

In what final satisfaction did these antagonistic sentiments and

reflections, reduced to their simplest forms, converge?

Satisfaction at the ubiquity in eastern and western terrestrial

hemispheres, in all habitable lands and islands explored or unexplored

(the land of the midnight sun, the islands of the blessed, the isles of

Greece, the land of promise), of adipose anterior and posterior female

hemispheres, redolent of milk and honey and of excretory sanguine and

seminal warmth, reminiscent of secular families of curves of amplitude,

insusceptible of moods of impression or of contrarieties of expression,

expressive of mute immutable mature animality.

The visible signs of antesatisfaction?

An approximate erection: a solicitous adversion: a gradual elevation: a

tentative revelation: a silent contemplation.

Then?

He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on each

plump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscure

prolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.

The visible signs of postsatisfaction?

A silent contemplation: a tentative velation: a gradual abasement: a

solicitous aversion: a proximate erection.

What followed this silent action?

Somnolent invocation, less somnolent recognition, incipient excitation,

catechetical interrogation.

With what modifications did the narrator reply to this interrogation?

Negative: he omitted to mention the clandestine correspondence between

Martha Clifford and Henry Flower, the public altercation at, in and in

the vicinity of the licensed premises of Bernard Kiernan and Co,

Limited, 8, 9 and 10 Little Britain street, the erotic provocation and

response thereto caused by the exhibitionism of Gertrude (Gerty),

surname unknown. Positive: he included mention of a performance by Mrs

Bandmann Palmer of _Leah_ at the Gaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South

King street, an invitation to supper at Wynn’s (Murphy’s) Hotel, 35, 36

and 37 Lower Abbey street, a volume of peccaminous pornographical

tendency entituled _Sweets of Sin_, anonymous author a gentleman of

fashion, a temporary concussion caused by a falsely calculated movement

in the course of a postcenal gymnastic display, the victim (since

completely recovered) being Stephen Dedalus, professor and author,

eldest surviving son of Simon Dedalus, of no fixed occupation, an

aeronautical feat executed by him (narrator) in the presence of a

witness, the professor and author aforesaid, with promptitude of

decision and gymnastic flexibility.

Was the narration otherwise unaltered by modifications?

Absolutely.

Which event or person emerged as the salient point of his narration?

Stephen Dedalus, professor and author.

What limitations of activity and inhibitions of conjugal rights were

perceived by listener and narrator concerning themselves during the

course of this intermittent and increasingly more laconic narration?

By the listener a limitation of fertility inasmuch as marriage had been

celebrated 1 calendar month after the 18th anniversary of her birth (8

September 1870), viz. 8 October, and consummated on the same date with

female issue born 15 June 1889, having been anticipatorily consummated

on the 10 September of the same year and complete carnal intercourse,

with ejaculation of semen within the natural female organ, having last

taken place 5 weeks previous, viz. 27 November 1893, to the birth on 29

December 1893 of second (and only male) issue, deceased 9 January 1894,

aged 11 days, there remained a period of 10 years, 5 months and 18 days

during which carnal intercourse had been incomplete, without

ejaculation of semen within the natural female organ. By the narrator a

limitation of activity, mental and corporal, inasmuch as complete

mental intercourse between himself and the listener had not taken place

since the consummation of puberty, indicated by catamenic hemorrhage,

of the female issue of narrator and listener, 15 September 1903, there

remained a period of 9 months and 1 day during which, in consequence of

a preestablished natural comprehension in incomprehension between the

consummated females (listener and issue), complete corporal liberty of

action had been circumscribed.

How?

By various reiterated feminine interrogation concerning the masculine

destination whither, the place where, the time at which, the duration

for which, the object with which in the case of temporary absences,

projected or effected.

What moved visibly above the listener’s and the narrator’s invisible

thoughts?

The upcast reflection of a lamp and shade, an inconstant series of

concentric circles of varying gradations of light and shadow.

In what directions did listener and narrator lie?

Listener, S. E. by E.: Narrator, N. W. by W.: on the 53rd parallel of

latitude, N., and 6th meridian of longitude, W.: at an angle of 45° to

the terrestrial equator.

In what state of rest or motion?

At rest relatively to themselves and to each other. In motion being

each and both carried westward, forward and rereward respectively, by

the proper perpetual motion of the earth through everchanging tracks of

neverchanging space.

In what posture?

Listener: reclined semilaterally, left, left hand under head, right leg

extended in a straight line and resting on left leg, flexed, in the

attitude of Gea-Tellus, fulfilled, recumbent, big with seed. Narrator:

reclined laterally, left, with right and left legs flexed, the index

finger and thumb of the right hand resting on the bridge of the nose,

in the attitude depicted in a snapshot photograph made by Percy Apjohn,

the childman weary, the manchild in the womb.

Womb? Weary?

He rests. He has travelled.

With?

Sinbad the Sailor and Tinbad the Tailor and Jinbad the Jailer and

Whinbad the Whaler and Ninbad the Nailer and Finbad the Failer and

Binbad the Bailer and Pinbad the Pailer and Minbad the Mailer and

Hinbad the Hailer and Rinbad the Railer and Dinbad the Kailer and

Vinbad the Quailer and Linbad the Yailer and Xinbad the Phthailer.

When?

Going to dark bed there was a square round Sinbad the Sailor roc’s

auk’s egg in the night of the bed of all the auks of the rocs of

Darkinbad the Brightdayler.

Where?

•

[ 18 ]

Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to get his

breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the _City Arms_ hotel when

he used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his

highness to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan

that he thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing

all for masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was

actually afraid to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me all

her ailments she had too much old chat in her about politics and

earthquakes and the end of the world let us have a bit of fun first God

help the world if all the women were her sort down on bathingsuits and

lownecks of course nobody wanted her to wear them I suppose she was

pious because no man would look at her twice I hope Ill never be like

her a wonder she didnt want us to cover our faces but she was a

welleducated woman certainly and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan here

and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and her

dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up under my petticoats

especially then still I like that in him polite to old women like that

and waiters and beggars too hes not proud out of nothing but not always

if ever he got anything really serious the matter with him its much

better for them to go into a hospital where everything is clean but I

suppose Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and then wed have

a hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying there till

they throw him out or a nun maybe like the smutty photo he has shes as

much a nun as Im not yes because theyre so weak and puling when theyre

sick they want a woman to get well if his nose bleeds youd think it was

O tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when he

sprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the day

I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones

she could find at the bottom of the basket anything at all to get into

a mans bedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dying

on account of her to never see thy face again though he looked more

like a man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the same

besides I hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razor

paring his corns afraid hed get bloodpoisoning but if it was a thing I

was sick then wed see what attention only of course the woman hides it

not to give all the trouble they do yes he came somewhere Im sure by

his appetite anyway love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of her

so either it was one of those night women if it was down there he was

really and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide it

planning it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you remember

Menton and who else who let me see that big babbyface I saw him and he

not long married flirting with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama and

turned my back on him when he slinked out looking quite conscious what

harm but he had the impudence to make up to me one time well done to

him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all the big stupoes I ever

met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wrangle

in bed or else if its not that its some little bitch or other he got in

with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well as

I do yes because the day before yesterday he was scribbling something a

letter when I came into the front room to show him Dignams death in the

paper as if something told me and he covered it up with the

blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very probably

that was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him because all

men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to forty he is

now so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no fool like an old

fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not that I

care two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way though

Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under my

nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace

padding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smell

of those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by

getting him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coat

without that one when I went into the kitchen pretending he was

drinking water 1 woman is not enough for them it was all his fault of

course ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our table

on Christmas day if you please O no thank you not in my house stealing

my potatoes and the oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if

you please common robbery so it was but I was sure he had something on

with that one it takes me to find out a thing like that he said you

have no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters

but I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to be

alone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters I

found in her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me a

little bit too much her face swelled up on her with temper when I gave

her her weeks notice I saw to that better do without them altogether do

out the rooms myself quicker only for the damn cooking and throwing out

the dirt I gave it to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house I

couldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty barefaced liar

and sloven like that one denying it up to my face and singing about the

place in the W C too because she knew she was too well off yes because

he couldnt possibly do without it that long so he must do it somewhere

and the last time he came on my bottom when was it the night Boylan

gave my hand a great squeeze going along by the Tolka in my hand there

steals another I just pressed the back of his like that with my thumb

to squeeze back singing the young May moon shes beaming love because he

has an idea about him and me hes not such a fool he said Im dining out

and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give him the

satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to be

always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some nicelooking

boy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like me Id

confuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see my

garters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him I

know what boys feel with that down on their cheek doing that frigging

drawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do this

that and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would

because I told him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in

the jews temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing a

stranger to Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments and

he tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he

is who is in your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it

tell me his name who tell me who the german Emperor is it yes imagine

Im him think of him can you feel him trying to make a whore of me what

he never will he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simply

ruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it

till he comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes your

lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all with all the talk of the

world about it people make its only the first time after that its just

the ordinary do it and think no more about it why cant you kiss a man

without going and marrying him first you sometimes love to wildly when

you feel that way so nice all over you you cant help yourself I wish

some man or other would take me sometime when hes there and kiss me in

his arms theres nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soul

almost paralyses you then I hate that confession when I used to go to

Father Corrigan he touched me father and what harm if he did where and

I said on the canal bank like a fool but whereabouts on your person my

child on the leg behind high up was it yes rather high up was it where

you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom right out and have done

with it what has that got to do with it and did you whatever way he put

it I forget no father and I always think of the real father what did he

want to know for when I already confessed it to God he had a nice fat

hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he

Id say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder did he know me in

the box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of course hed never

turn or let on still his eyes were red when his father died theyre lost

for a woman of course must be terrible when a man cries let alone them

Id like to be embraced by one in his vestments and the smell of incense

off him like the pope besides theres no danger with a priest if youre

married hes too careful about himself then give something to H H the

pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing I didnt

like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall though

I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking of

his fathers I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in it

who gave him that flower he said he bought he smelt of some kind of

drink not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste they

stick their bills up with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking

green and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with

the opera hats I tasted once with my finger dipped out of that American

that had the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could do

to keep himself from falling asleep after the last time after we took

the port and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes because I felt

lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I

popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up God be merciful

to us I thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish us when

I blessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in

Gibraltar as if the world was coming to an end and then they come and

tell you theres no God what could you do if it was running and rushing

about nothing only make an act of contrition the candle I lit that

evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the month of May see it

brought its luck though hed scoff if he heard because he never goes to

church mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul inside only

grey matter because he doesnt know what it is to have one yes when I

lit the lamp because he must have come 3 or 4 times with that

tremendous big red brute of a thing he has I thought the vein or

whatever the dickens they call it was going to burst though his nose is

not so big after I took off all my things with the blinds down after my

hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like iron or some kind of a

thick crowbar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I think

a few dozen he was in great singing voice no I never in all my life

felt anyone had one the size of that to make you feel full up he must

have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that with

a big hole in the middle of us or like a Stallion driving it up into

you because thats all they want out of you with that determined vicious

look in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he hasnt such a

tremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out and do it on

me considering how big it is so much the better in case any of it wasnt

washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me nice

invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if

someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went

through with Milly nobody would believe cutting her teeth too and Mina

Purefoys husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up

with a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with a

smell of children off her the one they called budgers or something like

a nigger with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a black the

last time I was there a squad of them falling over one another and

bawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be healthy not satisfied

till they have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know what

supposing I risked having another not off him though still if he was

married Im sure hed have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy has

more spunk in him yes thatd be awfully jolly I suppose it was meeting

Josie Powell and the funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him

off well he can think what he likes now if thatll do him any good I

know they were spooning a bit when I came on the scene he was dancing

and sitting out with her the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming

and then he wanted to ram it down my neck it was on account of not

liking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row over

politics he began it not me when he said about Our Lord being a

carpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman is so sensitive

about everything I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for

I knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he said He was he

annoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still he knows a lot

of mixedup things especially about the body and the inside I often

wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that family

physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was

crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on with

her over him because he used to be a bit on the jealous side whenever

he asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me

the present of Byrons poems and the three pairs of gloves so that

finished that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I

know how Id even supposing he got in with her again and was going out

to see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know

plenty of ways ask him to tuck down the collar of my blouse or touch

him with my veil and gloves on going out 1 kiss then would send them

all spinning however alright well see then let him go to her she of

course would only be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him

that I wouldnt so much mind Id just go to her and ask her do you love

him and look her square in the eyes she couldnt fool me but he might

imagine he was and make a declaration to her with his plabbery kind of

a manner like he did to me though I had the devils own job to get it

out of him though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in and

wasnt to be got for the asking he was on the pop of asking me too the

night in the kitchen I was rolling the potato cake theres something I

want to say to you only for I put him off letting on I was in a temper

with my hands and arms full of pasty flour in any case I let out too

much the night before talking of dreams so I didnt want to let him know

more than was good for him she used to be always embracing me Josie

whenever he was there meaning him of course glauming me over and when I

said I washed up and down as far as possible asking me and did you wash

possible the women are always egging on to that putting it on thick

when hes there they know by his sly eye blinking a bit putting on the

indifferent when they come out with something the kind he is what

spoils him I dont wonder in the least because he was very handsome at

that time trying to look like Lord Byron I said I liked though he was

too beautiful for a man and he was a little before we got engaged

afterwards though she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits of

laughing with the giggles I couldnt stop about all my hairpins falling

out one after another with the mass of hair I had youre always in great

humour she said yes because it grigged her because she knew what it

meant because I used to tell her a good bit of what went on between us

not all but just enough to make her mouth water but that wasnt my fault

she didnt darken the door much after we were married I wonder what shes

got like now after living with that dotty husband of hers she had her

face beginning to look drawn and run down the last time I saw her she

must have been just after a row with him because I saw on the moment

she was edging to draw down a conversation about husbands and talk

about him to run him down what was it she told me O yes that sometimes

he used to go to bed with his muddy boots on when the maggot takes him

just imagine having to get into bed with a thing like that that might

murder you any moment what a man well its not the one way everyone goes

mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat when

he comes in wet or shine and always blacks his own boots too and he

always takes off his hat when he comes up in the street like then and

now hes going about in his slippers to look for £ 10000 for a postcard

U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing like that simply bore you stiff

to extinction actually too stupid even to take his boots off now what

could you make of a man like that Id rather die 20 times over than

marry another of their sex of course hed never find another woman like

me to put up with him the way I do know me come sleep with me yes and

he knows that too at the bottom of his heart take that Mrs Maybrick

that poisoned her husband for what I wonder in love with some other man

yes it was found out on her wasnt she the downright villain to go and

do a thing like that of course some men can be dreadfully aggravating

drive you mad and always the worst word in the world what do they ask

us to marry them for if were so bad as all that comes to yes because

they cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his tea off

flypaper wasnt it I wonder why they call it that if I asked him hed say

its from the Greek leave us as wise as we were before she must have

been madly in love with the other fellow to run the chance of being

hanged O she didnt care if that was her nature what could she do

besides theyre not brutes enough to go and hang a woman surely are they

theyre all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot he

noticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C

with Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we both

ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with his

two old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it

was what do I care with it dropping out of me and that black closed

breeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down wetting

all myself always with some brandnew fad every other week such a long

one I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat behind that I never got

after some robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irish

times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return to

Mrs Marion Bloom and I saw his eyes on my feet going out through the

turning door he was looking when I looked back and I went there for tea

2 days after in the hope but he wasnt now how did that excite him

because I was crossing them when we were in the other room first he

meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like that

if I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill

stick him for one and a gold bracelet I dont like my foot so much still

I made him spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of

a concert so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to

mull and the fire wasnt black out when he asked to take off my

stockings lying on the hearthrug in Lombard street west and another

time it was my muddy boots hed like me to walk in all the horses dung I

could find but of course hes not natural like the rest of the world

that I what did he say I could give 9 points in 10 to Katty Lanner and

beat her what does that mean I asked him I forget what he said because

the stoppress edition just passed and the man with the curly hair in

the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his face before somewhere

I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took my time Bartell

DArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced kissing me on

the choir stairs after I sang Gounods _Ave Maria_ what are we waiting

for O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part which is my brown

part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he was

always raving about if you can believe him I liked the way he used his

mouth singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a

place like that I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell him

about that some day not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him there

and show him the very place too we did it so now there you are like it

or lump it he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an

idea about my mother till we were engaged otherwise hed never have got

me so cheap as he did he was 10 times worse himself anyhow begging me

to give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the evening coming

along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I had

to take it off asking me questions is it permitted to enquire the shape

of my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me

when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subject

of drawers thats plain to be seen always skeezing at those brazenfaced

things on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to their navels

even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete that one

in the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could see

every atom she had on when he saw me from behind following in the rain

I saw him before he saw me however standing at the corner of the

Harolds cross road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the

Zingari colours to show off his complexion and the brown hat looking

slyboots as usual what was he doing there where hed no business they

can go and get whatever they like from anything at all with a skirt on

it and were not to ask any questions but they want to know where were

you where are you going I could feel him coming along skulking after me

his eyes on my neck he had been keeping away from the house he felt it

was getting too warm for him so I halfturned and stopped then he

pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly watching him he

said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything for an

excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole blessed time

till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in his

waistcoat pocket _O Maria Santisima_ he did look a big fool dreeping in

the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them

and beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with the

sunray pleats that there was nobody he said hed kneel down in the wet

if I didnt so persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat you

never know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it

if anyone was passing so I lifted them a bit and touched his trousers

outside the way I used to Gardner after with my ring hand to keep him

from doing worse where it was too public I was dying to find out was he

circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all over they want to do

everything too quick take all the pleasure out of it and father waiting

all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my purse in the

butchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he wrote me

that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face to

any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we

met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw

I wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he was

always breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky

man and if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake

dont understand you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it

used to be written up with a picture of a womans on that wall in

Gibraltar with that word I couldnt find anywhere only for children

seeing it too young then writing every morning a letter sometimes twice

a day I liked the way he made love then he knew the way to take a woman

when he sent me the 8 big poppies because mine was the 8th then I wrote

the night he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt describe it

simply it makes you feel like nothing on earth but he never knew how to

embrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he said at the

same time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the door you

think its the vegetables then its somebody and you all undressed or the

door of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day old frostyface

Goodwin called about the concert in Lombard street and I just after

dinner all flushed and tossed with boiling old stew dont look at me

professor I had to say Im a fright yes but he was a real old gent in

his way it was impossible to be more respectful nobody to say youre out

you have to peep out through the blind like the messengerboy today I

thought it was a putoff first him sending the port and the peaches

first and I was just beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was

trying to make a fool of me when I knew his tattarrattat at the door he

must have been a bit late because it was 1/4 after 3 when I saw the 2

Dedalus girls coming from school I never know the time even that watch

he gave me never seems to go properly Id want to get it looked after

when I threw the penny to that lame sailor for England home and beauty

when I was whistling there is a charming girl I love and I hadnt even

put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing then this day week

were to go to Belfast just as well he has to go to Ennis his fathers

anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did suppose our rooms

at the hotel were beside each other and any fooling went on in the new

bed I couldnt tell him to stop and not bother me with him in the next

room or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on the

wall then hed never believe the next day we didnt do something its all

very well a husband but you cant fool a lover after me telling him we

never did anything of course he didnt believe me no its better hes

going where he is besides something always happens with him the time

going to the Mallow concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup for

the two of us then the bell rang out he walks down the platform with

the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he the nerve and

the waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and confusion

for the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the two

gentlemen in the 3rd class carriage said he was quite right so he was

too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a

good job he was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd

have taken us on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him

O I love jaunting in a train or a car with lovely soft cushions I

wonder will he take a 1st class for me he might want to do it in the

train by tipping the guard well O I suppose therell be the usual idiots

of men gaping at us with their eyes as stupid as ever they can possibly

be that was an exceptional man that common workman that left us alone

in the carriage that day going to Howth Id like to find out something

about him 1 or 2 tunnels perhaps then you have to look out of the

window all the nicer then coming back suppose I never came back what

would they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the last

concert I sang at where its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hall

Clarendon St little chits of missies they have now singing Kathleen

Kearney and her like on account of father being in the army and my

singing the absentminded beggar and wearing a brooch for Lord Roberts

when I had the map of it all and Poldy not Irish enough was it him

managed it this time I wouldnt put it past him like he got me on to

sing in the _Stabat Mater_ by going around saying he was putting Lead

Kindly Light to music I put him up to that till the jesuits found out

he was a freemason thumping the piano lead Thou me on copied from some

old opera yes and he was going about with some of them Sinner Fein

lately or whatever they call themselves talking his usual trash and

nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the neck is very

intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt look it thats

all I can say still it must have been him he knew there was a boycott I

hate the mention of their politics after the war that Pretoria and

Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd

East Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was a lovely fellow in khaki and

just the right height over me Im sure he was brave too he said I was

lovely the evening we kissed goodbye at the canal lock my Irish beauty

he was pale with excitement about going away or wed be seen from the

road he couldnt stand properly and I so hot as I never felt they could

have made their peace in the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest of

the other old Krugers go and fight it out between them instead of

dragging on for years killing any finelooking men there were with their

fever if he was even decently shot it wouldnt have been so bad I love

to see a regiment pass in review the first time I saw the Spanish

cavalry at La Roque it was lovely after looking across the bay from

Algeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies or those sham

battles on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their kilts in time at the

march past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the lancers O

the lancers theyre grand or the Dublins that won Tugela his father made

his money over selling the horses for the cavalry well he could buy me

a nice present up in Belfast after what I gave him theyve lovely linen

up there or one of those nice kimono things I must buy a mothball like

I had before to keep in the drawer with them it would be exciting going

round with him shopping buying those things in a new city better leave

this ring behind want to keep turning and turning to get it over the

knuckle there or they might bell it round the town in their papers or

tell the police on me but theyd think were married O let them all go

and smother themselves for the fat lot I care he has plenty of money

and hes not a marrying man so somebody better get it out of him if I

could find out whether he likes me I looked a bit washy of course when

I looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the

expression besides scrooching down on me like that all the time with

his big hipbones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for this heat

always having to lie down for them better for him put it into me from

behind the way Mrs Mastiansky told me her husband made her like the

dogs do it and stick out her tongue as far as ever she could and he so

quiet and mild with his tingating cither can you ever be up to men the

way it takes them lovely stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylish

tie and socks with the skyblue silk things on them hes certainly

welloff I know by the cut his clothes have and his heavy watch but he

was like a perfect devil for a few minutes after he came back with the

stoppress tearing up the tickets and swearing blazes because he lost 20

quid he said he lost over that outsider that won and half he put on for

me on account of Lenehans tip cursing him to the lowest pits that

sponger he was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming

back that long joult over the featherbed mountain after the lord Mayor

looking at me with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big heathen I first

noticed him at dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth I

wished I could have picked every morsel of that chicken out of my

fingers it was so tasty and browned and as tender as anything only for

I didnt want to eat everything on my plate those forks and fishslicers

were hallmarked silver too I wish I had some I could easily have

slipped a couple into my muff when I was playing with them then always

hanging out of them for money in a restaurant for the bit you put down

your throat we have to be thankful for our mangy cup of tea itself as a

great compliment to be noticed the way the world is divided in any case

if its going to go on I want at least two other good chemises for one

thing and but I dont know what kind of drawers he likes none at all I

think didnt he say yes and half the girls in Gibraltar never wore them

either naked as God made them that Andalusian singing her Manola she

didnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes and the second pair of

silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have brought

them back to Lewers this morning and kicked up a row and made that one

change them only not to upset myself and run the risk of walking into

him and ruining the whole thing and one of those kidfitting corsets Id

want advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hips

he saved the one I have but thats no good what did they say they give a

delightful figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance

across the lower back to reduce flesh my belly is a bit too big Ill

have to knock off the stout at dinner or am I getting too fond of it

the last they sent from ORourkes was as flat as a pancake he makes his

money easy Larry they call him the old mangy parcel he sent at Xmas a

cottage cake and a bottle of hogwash he tried to palm off as claret

that he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear hed die

of the drouth or I must do a few breathing exercises I wonder is that

antifat any good might overdo it the thin ones are not so much the

fashion now garters that much I have the violet pair I wore today thats

all he bought me out of the cheque he got on the first O no there was

the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that made my skin like

new I told him over and over again get that made up in the same place

and dont forget it God only knows whether he did after all I said to

him Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to

wash in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponax

and violet I thought it was beginning to look coarse or old a bit the

skin underneath is much finer where it peeled off there on my finger

after the burn its a pity it isnt all like that and the four paltry

handkerchiefs about 6/- in all sure you cant get on in this world

without style all going in food and rent when I get it Ill lash it

around I tell you in fine style I always want to throw a handful of tea

into the pot measuring and mincing if I buy a pair of old brogues

itself do you like those new shoes yes were they Ive no clothes at all

the brown costume and the skirt and jacket and the one at the cleaners

3 whats that for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching up the

other the men wont look at you and women try to walk on you because

they know youve no man then with all the things getting dearer every

day for the 4 years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I at all

Ill be 33 in September will I what O well look at that Mrs Galbraith

shes much older than me I saw her when I was out last week her beautys

on the wane she was a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her down

to her waist tossing it back like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham

street 1st thing I did every morning to look across see her combing it

as if she loved it and was full of it pity I only got to know her the

day before we left and that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily the prince of

Wales was in love with I suppose hes like the first man going the roads

only for the name of a king theyre all made the one way only a black

mans Id like to try a beauty up to what was she 45 there was some funny

story about the jealous old husband what was it at all and an oyster

knife he went no he made her wear a kind of a tin thing round her and

the prince of Wales yes he had the oyster knife cant be true a thing

like that like some of those books he brings me the works of Master

Francois Somebody supposed to be a priest about a child born out of her

ear because her bumgut fell out a nice word for any priest to write and

her a—e as if any fool wouldnt know what that meant I hate that

pretending of all things with that old blackguards face on him anybody

can see its not true and that Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me that

twice I remember when I came to page 50 the part about where she hangs

him up out of a hook with a cord flagellate sure theres nothing for a

woman in that all invention made up about he drinking the champagne out

of her slipper after the ball was over like the infant Jesus in the

crib at Inchicore in the Blessed Virgins arms sure no woman could have

a child that big taken out of her and I thought first it came out of

her side because how could she go to the chamber when she wanted to and

she a rich lady of course she felt honoured H R H he was in Gibraltar

the year I was born I bet he found lilies there too where he planted

the tree he planted more than that in his time he might have planted me

too if hed come a bit sooner then I wouldnt be here as I am he ought to

chuck that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of it

and go into an office or something where hed get regular pay or a bank

where they could put him up on a throne to count the money all the day

of course he prefers plottering about the house so you cant stir with

him any side whats your programme today I wish hed even smoke a pipe

like father to get the smell of a man or pretending to be mooching

about for advertisements when he could have been in Mr Cuffes still

only for what he did then sending me to try and patch it up I could

have got him promoted there to be the manager he gave me a great mirada

once or twice first he was as stiff as the mischief really and truly

Mrs Bloom only I felt rotten simply with the old rubbishy dress that I

lost the leads out of the tails with no cut in it but theyre coming

into fashion again I bought it simply to please him I knew it was no

good by the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and Burns as

I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot

of trash I hate those rich shops get on your nerves nothing kills me

altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot about a womans dress and

cooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into it if I

went by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me yes

take that thats alright the one like a weddingcake standing up miles

off my head he said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my

backside on pins and needles about the shopgirl in that place in

Grafton street I had the misfortune to bring him into and she as

insolent as ever she could be with her smirk saying Im afraid were

giving you too much trouble what shes there for but I stared it out of

her yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder but he changed the second

time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup but I could see

him looking very hard at my chest when he stood up to open the door for

me it was nice of him to show me out in any case Im extremely sorry Mrs

Bloom believe me without making it too marked the first time after him

being insulted and me being supposed to be his wife I just half smiled

I know my chest was out that way at the door when he said Im extremely

sorry and Im sure you were

yes I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long he

made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one

anyhow stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keep

that up and Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out

for him what are all those veins and things curious the way its made 2

the same in case of twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up

there like those statues in the museum one of them pretending to hide

it with her hand are they so beautiful of course compared with what a

man looks like with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down

out of him or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it

with a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat

market or that other wretch with the red head behind the tree where the

statue of the fish used to be when I was passing pretending he was

pissing standing out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one

side the Queens own they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved

them theyre always trying to show it to you every time nearly I passed

outside the mens greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just to

try some fellow or other trying to catch my eye as if it was 1 of the 7

wonders of the world O and the stink of those rotten places the night

coming home with Poldy after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade

to make you feel nice and watery I went into 1 of them it was so biting

cold I couldnt keep it when was that 93 the canal was frozen yes it was

a few months after a pity a couple of the Camerons werent there to see

me squatting in the mens place meadero I tried to draw a picture of it

before I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder theyre not

afraid going about of getting a kick or a bang of something there the

woman is beauty of course thats admitted when he said I could pose for

a picture naked to some rich fellow in Holles street when he lost the

job in Helys and I was selling the clothes and strumming in the coffee

palace would I be like that bath of the nymph with my hair down yes

only shes younger or Im a little like that dirty bitch in that Spanish

photo he has nymphs used they go about like that I asked him about her

and that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with some

jawbreakers about the incarnation he never can explain a thing simply

the way a body can understand then he goes and burns the bottom out of

the pan all for his Kidney this one not so much theres the mark of his

teeth still where he tried to bite the nipple I had to scream out arent

they fearful trying to hurt you I had a great breast of milk with Milly

enough for two what was the reason of that he said I could have got a

pound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the morning that delicate

looking student that stopped in no 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearly

caught me washing through the window only for I snapped up the towel to

my face that was his studenting hurt me they used to weaning her till

he got doctor Brady to give me the belladonna prescription I had to get

him to suck them they were so hard he said it was sweeter and thicker

than cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea well hes beyond

everything I declare somebody ought to put him in the budget if I only

could remember the one half of the things and write a book out of it

the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin much an

hour he was at them Im sure by the clock like some kind of a big infant

I had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure those

men get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch

myself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with and come

again like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it when

he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I was

coming for about 5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug him

after O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or

anything at all only not to look ugly or those lines from the strain

who knows the way hed take it you want to feel your way with a man

theyre not all like him thank God some of them want you to be so nice

about it I noticed the contrast he does it and doesnt talk I gave my

eyes that look with my hair a bit loose from the tumbling and my tongue

between my lips up to him the savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturday

two Sunday three O Lord I cant wait till Monday

frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those

engines have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over and

out of them all sides like the end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor

men that have to be out all the night from their wives and families in

those roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the half

of those old Freemans and Photo Bits leaving things like that lying

about hes getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W

C I’ll get him to cut them tomorrow for me instead of having them there

for the next year to get a few pence for them have him asking wheres

last Januarys paper and all those old overcoats I bundled out of the

hall making the place hotter than it is that rain was lovely and

refreshing just after my beauty sleep I thought it was going to get

like Gibraltar my goodness the heat there before the levanter came on

black as night and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a big

giant compared with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so great with

the red sentries here and there the poplars and they all whitehot and

the smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all the time

weltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs

Stanhope sent me from the B Marche paris what a shame my dearest

Doggerina she wrote on it she was very nice whats this her other name

was just a p c to tell you I sent the little present have just had a

jolly warm bath and feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it wogger she

called him wogger wd give anything to be back in Gib and hear you sing

Waiting and in old Madrid Concone is the name of those exercises he

bought me one of those new some word I couldnt make out shawls amusing

things but tear for the least thing still there lovely I think dont you

will always think of the lovely teas we had together scrumptious

currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now dearest Doggerina

be sure and write soon kind she left out regards to your father also

Captain Grove with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x she didnt look a bit

married just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was

awfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to

step over at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was

given the bulls ear these clothes we have to wear whoever invented them

expecting you to walk up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic

all staysed up you cant do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run or

jump out of the way thats why I was afraid when that other ferocious

old Bull began to charge the banderilleros with the sashes and the 2

things in their hats and the brutes of men shouting bravo toro sure the

women were as bad in their nice white mantillas ripping all the whole

insides out of those poor horses I never heard of such a thing in all

my life yes he used to break his heart at me taking off the dog barking

in bell lane poor brute and it sick what became of them ever I suppose

theyre dead long ago the 2 of them its like all through a mist makes

you feel so old I made the scones of course I had everything all to

myself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair mine was thicker

than hers she showed me how to settle it at the back when I put it up

and whats this else how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand we

were like cousins what age was I then the night of the storm I slept in

her bed she had her arms round me then we were fighting in the morning

with the pillow what fun he was watching me whenever he got an

opportunity at the band on the Alameda esplanade when I was with father

and Captain Grove I looked up at the church first and then at the

windows then down and our eyes met I felt something go through me like

all needles my eyes were dancing I remember after when I looked at

myself in the glass hardly recognised myself the change he was

attractive to a girl in spite of his being a little bald intelligent

looking disappointed and gay at the same time he was like Thomas in the

shadow of Ashlydyat I had a splendid skin from the sun and the

excitement like a rose I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have been

nice on account of her but I could have stopped it in time she gave me

the Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins East

Lynne I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by

that other woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as

he see I wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave

me by Mrs Hungerford on account of the name I dont like books with a

Molly in them like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders a

whore always shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yards

of it O this blanket is too heavy on me thats better I havent even one

decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him and

his fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the heat my

shift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on the

chair when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up on

the sofa cushions to see with my clothes up and the bugs tons of them

at night and the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long ago

it seems centuries of course they never came back and she didnt put her

address right on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were

always going away and we never I remember that day with the waves and

the boats with their high heads rocking and the smell of ship those

Officers uniforms on shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything

he was very serious I had the high buttoned boots on and my skirt was

blowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I believe I

did or near it my lips were taittering when I said goodbye she had a

Gorgeous wrap of some special kind of blue colour on her for the voyage

made very peculiarly to one side like and it was extremely pretty it

got as dull as the devil after they went I was almost planning to run

away mad out of it somewhere were never easy where we are father or

aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me

waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and

booming all over the shop especially the Queens birthday and throwing

everything down in all directions if you didnt open the windows when

general Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did supposed to be some great

fellow landed off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was there

from before the flood dressed up poor man and he in mourning for the

son then the same old bugles for reveille in the morning and drums

rolling and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about with

messtins smelling the place more than the old longbearded jews in their

jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the men

to cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys to lock the

gates and the bagpipes and only captain Groves and father talking about

Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoum

lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old devil

with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it picking his

nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in a corner

but he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of the room

on some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky

talking of course but hed do the same to the next woman that came along

I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a

letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with

bits of paper in them so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails

listening to that old Arab with the one eye and his heass of an

instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my compriment on your

hotchapotch of your heass as bad as now with the hands hanging off me

looking out of the window if there was a nice fellow even in the

opposite house that medical in Holles street the nurse was after when I

put on my gloves and hat at the window to show I was going out not a

notion what I meant arent they thick never understand what you say even

youd want to print it up on a big poster for them not even if you shake

hands twice with the left he didnt recognise me either when I half

frowned at him outside Westland row chapel where does their great

intelligence come in Id like to know grey matter they have it all in

their tail if you ask me those country gougers up in the City Arms

intelligence they had a damn sight less than the bulls and cows they

were selling the meat and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to

swindle me with the wrong bill he took out of his hat what a pair of

paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a

poor man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some

advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madam

only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a

letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what

possessed her to write from Canada after so many years to know the

recipe I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say

she was married to a very rich architect if Im to believe all I hear

with a villa and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was

near seventy always goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie

theres the piannyer that was a solid silver coffee service he had too

on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate people that

have always their poor story to tell everybody has their own troubles

that poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt

know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than mine poor

Nancy its a bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things

and no stops to say like making a speech your sad bereavement

symph̸athy I always make that mistake and new̸phew with 2 double yous

in I hope hell write me a longer letter the next time if its a thing he

really likes me O thanks be to the great God I got somebody to give me

what I badly wanted to put some heart up into me youve no chances at

all in this place like you used long ago I wish somebody would write me

a loveletter his wasnt much and I told him he could write what he liked

yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid stuff silly women believe love is

sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose thered be some truth

in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life always something

to think about every moment and see it all round you like a new world I

could write the answer in bed to let him imagine me short just a few

words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to write to the

fellow that was something in the four courts that jilted her after out

of the ladies letterwriter when I told her to say a few simple words he

could twist how he liked not acting with precipat precipitancy with

equal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemans

proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing else its all very

fine for them but as for being a woman as soon as youre old they might

as well throw you out in the bottom of the ashpit.

Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio

brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her

to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin

to open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her

in the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her

appearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles

with all her religion domineering because she never could get over the

Atlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jack

flying with all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took

all the rock from them and because I didnt run into mass often enough

in Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when there

was a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her black

blessed virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times on

Easter Sunday morning and when the priest was going by with the bell

bringing the vatican to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an

admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him

up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window

then he tipped me just in passing but I never thought hed write making

an appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it

up in every hole and corner while father was up at the drill

instructing to find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps

singing I remember shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on the

old stupid clock to near the time he was the first man kissed me under

the Moorish wall my sweetheart when a boy it never entered my head what

kissing meant till he put his tongue in my mouth his mouth was

sweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few times to learn the way

what did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to the son of a Spanish

nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he believed me that I was to

be married to him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in

jest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I told him true about

myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt like I

suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all

the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas and

the perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he said on the

black water but it was too short then the day before he left May yes it

was May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like that in

the spring Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under the

rockgun near OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and all

about the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail

careering all over the show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was

a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and

throw stones at you if you went anear he was looking at me I had that

white blouse on open in the front to encourage him as much as I could

without too openly they were just beginning to be plump I said I was

tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose it must be

the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those

frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whatever

they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my boots

Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when

they die the ships out far like chips that was the Malta boat passing

yes the sea and the sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever

he caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there I

was leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness

out of it the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his last

day transparent kind of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he

wanted to touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldnt let him he was

awfully put out first for fear you never know consumption or leave me

with a child embarazada that old servant Ines told me that one drop

even if it got into you at all after I tried with the Banana but I was

afraid it might break and get lost up in me somewhere because they once

took something down out of a woman that was up there for years covered

with limesalts theyre all mad to get in there where they come out of

youd think they could never go far enough up and then theyre done with

you in a way till the next time yes because theres a wonderful feeling

there so tender all the time how did we finish it off yes O yes I

pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not to be excited but I

opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my petticoat because I

had a skirt opening up the side I tormented the life out of him first

tickling him I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssstt

awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below us he was shy all the

same I liked him like that moaning I made him blush a little when I got

over him that way when I unbuttoned him and took his out and drew back

the skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons men down the

middle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me what was

his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was

rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to the

whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hed

come back Lord its just like yesterday to me and if I was married hed

do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block me now

flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a captain or admiral its nearly 20

years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and put

his hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young

still about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the black water and is

quite changed they all do they havent half the character a woman has

she little knows what I did with her beloved husband before he ever

dreamt of her in broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you

might say they could have put an article about it in the Chronicle I

was a bit wild after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were in

from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodcocks and

pigeons screaming coming back the same way that we went over middle

hill round by the old guardhouse and the jews burialplace pretending to

read out the Hebrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he

hadnt one he didnt know what to make of me with his peak cap on that he

always wore crooked as often as I settled it straight H M S Calypso

swinging my hat that old Bishop that spoke off the altar his long

preach about womans higher functions about girls now riding the bicycle

and wearing peak caps and the new woman bloomers God send him sense and

me more money I suppose theyre called after him I never thought that

would be my name Bloom when I used to write it in print to see how it

looked on a visiting card or practising for the butcher and oblige M

Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say after I married him well

its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those awful names with

bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey I

wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my

mother whoever she was might have given me a nicer name the Lord knows

after the lovely one she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had running along

Williss road to Europa point twisting in and out all round the other

side of Jersey they were shaking and dancing about in my blouse like

Millys little ones now when she runs up the stairs I loved looking down

at them I was jumping up at the pepper trees and the white poplars

pulling the leaves off and throwing them at him he went to India he was

to write the voyages those men have to make to the ends of the world

and back its the least they might get a squeeze or two at a woman while

they can going out to be drowned or blown up somewhere I went up

Windmill hill to the flats that Sunday morning with captain Rubios that

was dead spyglass like the sentry had he said hed have one or two from

on board I wore that frock from the B Marche paris and the coral

necklace the straits shining I could see over to Morocco almost the bay

of Tangier white and the Atlas mountain with snow on it and the straits

like a river so clear Harry Molly darling I was thinking of him on the

sea all the time after at mass when my petticoat began to slip down at

the elevation weeks and weeks I kept the handkerchief under my pillow

for the smell of him there was no decent perfume to be got in that

Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left a stink on

you more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he gave me

that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to south

Africa where those Boers killed him with their war and fever but they

were well beaten all the same as if it brought its bad luck with it

like an opal or pearl still it must have been pure 18 carrot gold

because it was very heavy but what could you get in a place like that

the sandfrog shower from Africa and that derelict ship that came up to

the harbour Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadnt a moustache that

was Gardner yes I can see his face cleanshaven

Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in the

dear deaead days beyondre call close my eyes breath my lips forward

kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world the mists began I hate

that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let that out full

when I get in front of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her

lot of squealers Miss This Miss That Miss Theother lot of sparrowfarts

skitting around talking about politics they know as much about as my

backside anything in the world to make themselves someway interesting

Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I ay and whose are you

bootmakers and publicans I beg your pardon coach I thought you were a

wheelbarrow theyd die down dead off their feet if ever they got a

chance of walking down the Alameda on an officers arm like me on the

bandnight my eyes flash my bust that they havent passion God help their

poor head I knew more about men and life when I was 15 than theyll all

know at 50 they dont know how to sing a song like that Gardner said no

man could look at my mouth and teeth smiling like that and not think of

it I was afraid he mightnt like my accent first he so English all

father left me in spite of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure

anyhow he always said theyre so snotty about themselves some of those

cads he wasnt a bit like that he was dead gone on my lips let them get

a husband first thats fit to be looked at and a daughter like mine or

see if they can excite a swell with money that can pick and choose

whoever he wants like Boylan to do it 4 or 5 times locked in each

others arms or the voice either I could have been a prima donna only I

married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too much make it

double My Ladys Bower is too long for an encore about the moated grange

at twilight and vaunted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from the

south that he gave after the choirstairs performance Ill change that

lace on my black dress to show off my bubs and Ill yes by God Ill get

that big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole is itching me

always when I think of him I feel I want to I feel some wind in me

better go easy not wake him have him at it again slobbering after

washing every bit of myself back belly and sides if we had even a bath

itself or my own room anyway I wish hed sleep in some bed by himself

with his cold feet on me give us room even to let a fart God or do the

least thing better yes hold them like that a bit on my side piano

quietly sweeeee theres that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more

song

that was a relief wherever you be let your wind go free who knows if

that pork chop I took with my cup of tea after was quite good with the

heat I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure that queerlooking man in

the porkbutchers is a great rogue I hope that lamp is not smoking fill

my nose up with smuts better than having him leaving the gas on all

night I couldnt rest easy in my bed in Gibraltar even getting up to see

why am I so damned nervous about that though I like it in the winter

its more company O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter when I was

only about ten was I yes I had the big doll with all the funny clothes

dressing her up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those

mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire with

the little bit of a short shift I had up to heat myself I loved dancing

about in it then make a race back into bed Im sure that fellow opposite

used to be there the whole time watching with the lights out in the

summer and I in my skin hopping around I used to love myself then

stripped at the washstand dabbing and creaming only when it came to the

chamber performance I put out the light too so then there were 2 of us

goodbye to my sleep for this night anyhow I hope hes not going to get

in with those medicals leading him astray to imagine hes young again

coming in at 4 in the morning it must be if not more still he had the

manners not to wake me what do they find to gabber about all night

squandering money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink

water then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea and Findon

haddy and hot buttered toast I suppose well have him sitting up like

the king of the country pumping the wrong end of the spoon up and down

in his egg wherever he learned that from and I love to hear him falling

up the stairs of a morning with the cups rattling on the tray and then

play with the cat she rubs up against you for her own sake I wonder has

she fleas shes as bad as a woman always licking and lecking but I hate

their claws I wonder do they see anything that we cant staring like

that when she sits at the top of the stairs so long and listening as I

wait always what a robber too that lovely fresh plaice I bought I think

Ill get a bit of fish tomorrow or today is it Friday yes I will with

some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago not those 2 lb

pots of mixed plum and apple from the London and Newcastle Williams and

Woods goes twice as far only for the bones I hate those eels cod yes

Ill get a nice piece of cod Im always getting enough for 3 forgetting

anyway Im sick of that everlasting butchers meat from Buckleys loin

chops and leg beef and rib steak and scrag of mutton and calfs pluck

the very name is enough or a picnic suppose we all gave 5/- each and or

let him pay it and invite some other woman for him who Mrs Fleming and

drove out to the furry glen or the strawberry beds wed have him

examining all the horses toenails first like he does with the letters

no not with Boylan there yes with some cold veal and ham mixed

sandwiches there are little houses down at the bottom of the banks

there on purpose but its as hot as blazes he says not a bank holiday

anyhow I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for the day Whit

Monday is a cursed day too no wonder that bee bit him better the

seaside but Id never again in this life get into a boat with him after

him at Bray telling the boatman he knew how to row if anyone asked

could he ride the steeplechase for the gold cup hed say yes then it

came on to get rough the old thing crookeding about and the weight all

down my side telling me pull the right reins now pull the left and the

tide all swamping in floods in through the bottom and his oar slipping

out of the stirrup its a mercy we werent all drowned he can swim of

course me no theres no danger whatsoever keep yourself calm in his

flannel trousers Id like to have tattered them down off him before all

the people and give him what that one calls flagellate till he was

black and blue do him all the good in the world only for that longnosed

chap I dont know who he is with that other beauty Burke out of the City

Arms hotel was there spying around as usual on the slip always where he

wasnt wanted if there was a row on youd vomit a better face there was

no love lost between us thats 1 consolation I wonder what kind is that

book he brought me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman of fashion some other

Mr de Kock I suppose the people gave him that nickname going about with

his tube from one woman to another I couldnt even change my new white

shoes all ruined with the saltwater and the hat I had with that feather

all blowy and tossed on me how annoying and provoking because the smell

of the sea excited me of course the sardines and the bream in Catalan

bay round the back of the rock they were fine all silver in the

fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoa

and the tall old chap with the earrings I dont like a man you have to

climb up to to get at I suppose theyre all dead and rotten long ago

besides I dont like being alone in this big barracks of a place at

night I suppose Ill have to put up with it I never brought a bit of

salt in even when we moved in the confusion musical academy he was

going to make on the first floor drawingroom with a brassplate or

Blooms private hotel he suggested go and ruin himself altogether the

way his father did down in Ennis like all the things he told father he

was going to do and me but I saw through him telling me all the lovely

places we could go for the honeymoon Venice by moonlight with the

gondolas and the lake of Como he had a picture cut out of some paper of

and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said whatever I liked he was

going to do immediately if not sooner will you be my man will you carry

my can he ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim for all the

plans he invents then leaving us here all day youd never know what old

beggar at the door for a crust with his long story might be a tramp and

put his foot in the way to prevent me shutting it like that picture of

that hardened criminal he was called in Lloyds Weekly news 20 years in

jail then he comes out and murders an old woman for her money imagine

his poor wife or mother or whoever she is such a face youd run miles

away from I couldnt rest easy till I bolted all the doors and windows

to make sure but its worse again being locked up like in a prison or a

madhouse they ought to be all shot or the cat of nine tails a big brute

like that that would attack a poor old woman to murder her in her bed

Id cut them off him so I would not that hed be much use still better

than nothing the night I was sure I heard burglars in the kitchen and

he went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as if he was

looking for a mouse as white as a sheet frightened out of his wits

making as much noise as he possibly could for the burglars benefit

there isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows still its the feeling

especially now with Milly away such an idea for him to send the girl

down there to learn to take photographs on account of his grandfather

instead of sending her to Skerrys academy where shed have to learn not

like me getting all at school only hed do a thing like that all the

same on account of me and Boylan thats why he did it Im certain the way

he plots and plans everything out I couldnt turn round with her in the

place lately unless I bolted the door first gave me the fidgets coming

in without knocking first when I put the chair against the door just as

I was washing myself there below with the glove get on your nerves then

doing the loglady all day put her in a glasscase with two at a time to

look at her if he knew she broke off the hand off that little gimcrack

statue with her roughness and carelessness before she left that I got

that little Italian boy to mend so that you cant see the join for 2

shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you of course shes right

not to ruin her hands I noticed he was always talking to her lately at

the table explaining things in the paper and she pretending to

understand sly of course that comes from his side of the house he cant

say I pretend things can he Im too honest as a matter of fact and

helping her into her coat but if there was anything wrong with her its

me shed tell not him I suppose he thinks Im finished out and laid on

the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it well see well see now

shes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me

whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Milly

come out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out of her

round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night its as well

he sent her where she is she was just getting out of bounds wanting to

go on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I

smelt it off her dress when I was biting off the thread of the button I

sewed on to the bottom of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me I

tell you only I oughtnt to have stitched it and it on her it brings a

parting and the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it comes out

no matter what they say her tongue is a bit too long for my taste your

blouse is open too low she says to me the pan calling the kettle

blackbottom and I had to tell her not to cock her legs up like that on

show on the windowsill before all the people passing they all look at

her like me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you

then a great touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in the

Theatre royal take your foot away out of that I hate people touching me

afraid of her life Id crush her skirt with the pleats a lot of that

touching must go on in theatres in the crush in the dark theyre always

trying to wiggle up to you that fellow in the pit at the Gaiety for

Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last time Ill ever go there to be squashed

like that for any Trilby or her barebum every two minutes tipping me

there and looking away hes a bit daft I think I saw him after trying to

get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the same

little game I recognised him on the moment the face and everything but

he didnt remember me yes and she didnt even want me to kiss her at the

Broadstone going away well I hope shell get someone to dance attendance

on her the way I did when she was down with the mumps and her glands

swollen wheres this and wheres that of course she cant feel anything

deep yet I never came properly till I was what 22 or so it went into

the wrong place always only the usual girls nonsense and giggling that

Conny Connolly writing to her in white ink on black paper sealed with

sealingwax though she clapped when the curtain came down because he

looked so handsome then we had Martin Harvey for breakfast dinner and

supper I thought to myself afterwards it must be real love if a man

gives up his life for her that way for nothing I suppose there are a

few men like that left its hard to believe in it though unless it

really happened to me the majority of them with not a particle of love

in their natures to find two people like that nowadays full up of each

other that would feel the same way as you do theyre usually a bit

foolish in the head his father must have been a bit queer to go and

poison himself after her still poor old man I suppose he felt lost shes

always making love to my things too the few old rags I have wanting to

put her hair up at 15 my powder too only ruin her skin on her shes time

enough for that all her life after of course shes restless knowing shes

pretty with her lips so red a pity they wont stay that way I was too

but theres no use going to the fair with the thing answering me like a

fishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of potatoes the day we

met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she pretended not to

see us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough

till I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the ear for herself take that

now for answering me like that and that for your impudence she had me

that exasperated of course contradicting I was badtempered too because

how was it there was a weed in the tea or I didnt sleep the night

before cheese I ate was it and I told her over and over again not to

leave knives crossed like that because she has nobody to command her as

she said herself well if he doesnt correct her faith I will that was

the last time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myself

they darent order me about the place its his fault of course having the

two of us slaving here instead of getting in a woman long ago am I ever

going to have a proper servant again of course then shed see him coming

Id have to let her know or shed revenge it arent they a nuisance that

old Mrs Fleming you have to be walking round after her putting the

things into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course

shes old she cant help it a good job I found that rotten old smelly

dishcloth that got lost behind the dresser I knew there was something

and opened the area window to let out the smell bringing in his friends

to entertain them like the night he walked home with a dog if you

please that might have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father

such a criticiser with his glasses up with his tall hat on him at the

cricket match and a great big hole in his sock one thing laughing at

the other and his son that got all those prizes for whatever he won

them in the intermediate imagine climbing over the railings if anybody

saw him that knew us I wonder he didnt tear a big hole in his grand

funeral trousers as if the one nature gave wasnt enough for anybody

hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his head

I ask pity it wasnt washing day my old pair of drawers might have been

hanging up too on the line on exhibition for all hed ever care with the

ironmould mark the stupid old bundle burned on them he might think was

something else and she never even rendered down the fat I told her and

now shes going such as she was on account of her paralysed husband

getting worse theres always something wrong with them disease or they

have to go under an operation or if its not that its drink and he beats

her Ill have to hunt around again for someone every day I get up theres

some new thing on sweet God sweet God well when Im stretched out dead

in my grave I suppose Ill have some peace I want to get up a minute if

Im let wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt

that afflict you of course all the poking and rooting and ploughing he

had up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that

pester the soul out of a body unless he likes it some men do God knows

theres always something wrong with us 5 days every 3 or 4 weeks usual

monthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me like

that the one and only time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave him

to see Mrs Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety something he did about

insurance for him in Drimmies I was fit to be tied though I wouldnt

give in with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with his

glasses and him the other side of me talking about Spinoza and his soul

thats dead I suppose millions of years ago I smiled the best I could

all in a swamp leaning forward as if I was interested having to sit it

out then to the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry

supposed to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the gallery

hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose he went and had a

woman in the next lane running round all the back ways after to make up

for it I wish he had what I had then hed boo I bet the cat itself is

better off than us have we too much blood up in us or what O patience

above its pouring out of me like the sea anyhow he didnt make me

pregnant as big as he is I dont want to ruin the clean sheets I just

put on I suppose the clean linen I wore brought it on too damn it damn

it and they always want to see a stain on the bed to know youre a

virgin for them all thats troubling them theyre such fools too you

could be a widow or divorced 40 times over a daub of red ink would do

or blackberry juice no thats too purply O Jamesy let me up out of this

pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women what

between clothes and cooking and children this damned old bed too

jingling like the dickens I suppose they could hear us away over the

other side of the park till I suggested to put the quilt on the floor

with the pillow under my bottom I wonder is it nicer in the day I think

it is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me there scalding me I

might look like a young girl wouldnt he get the great suckin the next

time he turned up my clothes on me Id give anything to see his face

wheres the chamber gone easy Ive a holy horror of its breaking under me

after that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting on his knee I

made him sit on the easychair purposely when I took off only my blouse

and skirt first in the other room he was so busy where he oughtnt to be

he never felt me I hope my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits

easy God I remember one time I could scout it out straight whistling

like a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I hope theyre bubbles on it for

a wad of money from some fellow Ill have to perfume it in the morning

dont forget I bet he never saw a better pair of thighs than that look

how white they are the smoothest place is right there between this bit

here how soft like a peach easy God I wouldnt mind being a man and get

up on a lovely woman O Lord what a row youre making like the jersey

lily easy easy O how the waters come down at Lahore

who knows is there anything the matter with my insides or have I

something growing in me getting that thing like that every week when

was it last I Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks I ought to go to

the doctor only it would be like before I married him when I had that

white thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old stick

Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called

it I suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets getting

round those rich ones off Stephens green running up to him for every

little fiddlefaddle her vagina and her cochinchina theyve money of

course so theyre all right I wouldnt marry him not if he was the last

man in the world besides theres something queer about their children

always smelling around those filthy bitches all sides asking me if what

I did had an offensive odour what did he want me to do but the one

thing gold maybe what a question if I smathered it all over his wrinkly

old face for him with all my compriments I suppose hed know then and

could you pass it easily pass what I thought he was talking about the

rock of Gibraltar the way he put it thats a very nice invention too by

the way only I like letting myself down after in the hole as far as I

can squeeze and pull the chain then to flush it nice cool pins and

needles still theres something in it I suppose I always used to know by

Millys when she was a child whether she had worms or not still all the

same paying him for that how much is that doctor one guinea please and

asking me had I frequent omissions where do those old fellows get all

the words they have omissions with his shortsighted eyes on me cocked

sideways I wouldnt trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knows

what else still I liked him when he sat down to write the thing out

frowning so severe his nose intelligent like that you be damned you

lying strap O anything no matter who except an idiot he was clever

enough to spot that of course that was all thinking of him and his mad

crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious

Body everything underlined that comes from it is a thing of beauty and

of joy for ever something he got out of some nonsensical book that he

had me always at myself 4 and 5 times a day sometimes and I said I

hadnt are you sure O yes I said I am quite sure in a way that shut him

up I knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excited

me I dont know how the first night ever we met when I was living in

Rehoboth terrace we stood staring at one another for about 10 minutes

as if we met somewhere I suppose on account of my being jewess looking

after my mother he used to amuse me the things he said with the half

sloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he was going to stand

for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe all his

blather about home rule and the land league sending me that long strool

of a song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy O

beau pays de la Touraine that I never even sang once explaining and

rigmaroling about religion and persecution he wont let you enjoy

anything naturally then might he as a great favour the very 1st

opportunity he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom

pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Albion milk

and sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O I

laughed myself sick at him that day I better not make an alnight

sitting on this affair they ought to make chambers a natural size so

that a woman could sit on it properly he kneels down to do it I suppose

there isnt in all creation another man with the habits he has look at

the way hes sleeping at the foot of the bed how can he without a hard

bolster its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth

breathing with his hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me to

show one wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a

pinafore lying on his side on his hand with his ten toes sticking out

that he said was a bigger religion than the jews and Our Lords both put

together all over Asia imitating him as hes always imitating everybody

I suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the bed too with his big

square feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking thing anyway

wheres this those napkins are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesnt

creak ah I knew it would hes sleeping hard had a good time somewhere

still she must have given him great value for his money of course he

has to pay for it from her O this nuisance of a thing I hope theyll

have something better for us in the other world tying ourselves up God

help us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always

reminds me of old Cohen I suppose he scratched himself in it often

enough and he thinks father bought it from Lord Napier that I used to

admire when I was a little girl because I told him easy piano O I like

my bed God here we are as bad as ever after 16 years how many houses

were we in at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard

street and Holles street and he goes about whistling every time were on

the run again his huguenots or the frogs march pretending to help the

men with our 4 sticks of furniture and then the City Arms hotel worse

and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the landing always

somebody inside praying then leaving all their stinks after them always

know who was in there last every time were just getting on right

something happens or he puts his big foot in it Thoms and Helys and Mr

Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going to be run into prison over his old

lottery tickets that was to be all our salvations or he goes and gives

impudence well have him coming home with the sack soon out of the

Freeman too like the rest on account of those Sinner Fein or the

freemasons then well see if the little man he showed me dribbling along

in the wet all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him much

consolation that he says is so capable and sincerely Irish he is indeed

judging by the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theres

Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour wait two oclock well

thats a nice hour of the night for him to be coming home at to anybody

climbing down into the area if anybody saw him Ill knock him off that

little habit tomorrow first Ill look at his shirt to see or Ill see if

he has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks I

dont know deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for their

lies then why should we tell them even if its the truth they dont

believe you then tucked up in bed like those babies in the Aristocrats

Masterpiece he brought me another time as if we hadnt enough of that in

real life without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is

disgusting you more with those rotten pictures children with two heads

and no legs thats the kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about

with not another thing in their empty heads they ought to get slow

poison the half of them then tea and toast for him buttered on both

sides and newlaid eggs I suppose Im nothing any more when I wouldnt let

him lick me in Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever for the

one thing he slept on the floor half the night naked the way the jews

used when somebody dies belonged to them and wouldnt eat any breakfast

or speak a word wanting to be petted so I thought I stood out enough

for one time and let him he does it all wrong too thinking only of his

own pleasure his tongue is too flat or I dont know what he forgets that

wethen I dont Ill make him do it again if he doesnt mind himself and

lock him down to sleep in the coalcellar with the blackbeetles I wonder

was it her Josie off her head with my castoffs hes such a born liar too

no hed never have the courage with a married woman thats why he wants

me and Boylan though as for her Denis as she calls him that

forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husband yes its some

little bitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at the

College races that Hornblower with the childs bonnet on the top of his

nob let us into by the back way he was throwing his sheeps eyes at

those two doing skirt duty up and down I tried to wink at him first no

use of course and thats the way his money goes this is the fruits of Mr

Paddy Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral in

the paper Boylan brought in if they saw a real officers funeral thatd

be something reversed arms muffled drums the poor horse walking behind

in black L Boom and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man that

bit his tongue off falling down the mens W C drunk in some place or

other and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys

husband white head of cabbage skinny thing with a turn in her eye

trying to sing my songs shed want to be born all over again and her old

green dress with the lowneck as she cant attract them any other way

like dabbling on a rainy day I see it all now plainly and they call

that friendship killing and then burying one another and they all with

their wives and families at home more especially Jack Power keeping

that barmaid he does of course his wife is always sick or going to be

sick or just getting better of it and hes a goodlooking man still

though hes getting a bit grey over the ears theyre a nice lot all of

them well theyre not going to get my husband again into their clutches

if I can help it making fun of him then behind his back I know well

when he goes on with his idiotics because he has sense enough not to

squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks after

his wife and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same Im

sorry in a way for him what are his wife and 5 children going to do

unless he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in some

pub corner and her or her son waiting Bill Bailey wont you please come

home her widows weeds wont improve her appearance theyre awfully

becoming though if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he was at

the Glencree dinner and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night he

borrowed the swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed and

squashed into them and grinning all over his big Dolly face like a

wellwhipped childs botty didnt he look a balmy ballocks sure enough

that must have been a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the

preserved seats for that to see him trotting off in his trowlers and

Simon Dedalus too he was always turning up half screwed singing the

second verse first the old love is the new was one of his so sweetly

sang the maiden on the hawthorn bough he was always on for flirtyfying

too when I sang Maritana with him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had

a delicious glorious voice Phoebe dearest goodbye sweetheart

_sweet_heart he always sang it not like Bartell DArcy sweet _tart_

goodbye of course he had the gift of the voice so there was no art in

it all over you like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we

sang splendidly though it was a bit too high for my register even

transposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding but then hed

say or do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now I

wonder what sort is his son he says hes an author and going to be a

university professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is he

driving at now showing him my photo its not good of me I ought to have

got it taken in drapery that never looks out of fashion still I look

young in it I wonder he didnt make him a present of it altogether and

me too after all why not I saw him driving down to the Kingsbridge

station with his father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years ago

now yes hed be 11 though what was the good in going into mourning for

what was neither one thing nor the other the first cry was enough for

me I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the wall of course he insisted

hed go into mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now by this time

he was an innocent boy then and a darling little fellow in his lord

Fauntleroy suit and curly hair like a prince on the stage when I saw

him at Mat Dillons he liked me too I remember they all do wait by God

yes wait yes hold on he was on the cards this morning when I laid out

the deck union with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met

before I thought it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either

besides my face was turned the other way what was the 7th card after

that the 10 of spades for a journey by land then there was a letter on

its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the 8 of diamonds for a rise

in society yes wait it all came out and 2 red 8s for new garments look

at that and didnt I dream something too yes there was something about

poetry in it I hope he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his eyes or

standing up like a red Indian what do they go about like that for only

getting themselves and their poetry laughed at I always liked poetry

when I was a girl first I thought he was a poet like lord Byron and not

an ounce of it in his composition I thought he was quite different I

wonder is he too young hes about wait 88 I was married 88 Milly is 15

yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 about 88 I suppose

hes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23 or 24 I hope hes not

that stuckup university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt go sitting

down in the old kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking of

course he pretended to understand it all probably he told him he was

out of Trinity college hes very young to be a professor I hope hes not

a professor like Goodwin was he was a potent professor of John Jameson

they all write about some woman in their poetry well I suppose he wont

find many like me where softly sighs of love the light guitar where

poetry is in the air the blue sea and the moon shining so beautifully

coming back on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point

the guitar that fellow played was so expressive will I ever go back

there again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that

for him theyre my eyes if hes anything of a poet two eyes as darkly

bright as loves own star arent those beautiful words as loves young

star itll be a change the Lord knows to have an intelligent person to

talk to about yourself not always listening to him and Billy Prescotts

ad and Keyess ad and Tom the Devils ad then if anything goes wrong in

their business we have to suffer Im sure hes very distinguished Id like

to meet a man like that God not those other ruck besides hes young

those fine young men I could see down in Margate strand bathingplace

from the side of the rock standing up in the sun naked like a God or

something and then plunging into the sea with them why arent all men

like that thered be some consolation for a woman like that lovely

little statue he bought I could look at him all day long curly head and

his shoulders his finger up for you to listen theres real beauty and

poetry for you I often felt I wanted to kiss him all over also his

lovely young cock there so simple I wouldnt mind taking him in my mouth

if nobody was looking as if it was asking you to suck it so clean and

white he looks with his boyish face I would too in 1/2 a minute even if

some of it went down what its only like gruel or the dew theres no

danger besides hed be so clean compared with those pigs of men I

suppose never dream of washing it from 1 years end to the other the

most of them only thats what gives the women the moustaches Im sure

itll be grand if I can only get in with a handsome young poet at my age

Ill throw them the 1st thing in the morning till I see if the wishcard

comes out or Ill try pairing the lady herself and see if he comes out

Ill read and study all I can find or learn a bit off by heart if I knew

who he likes so he wont think me stupid if he thinks all women are the

same and I can teach him the other part Ill make him feel all over him

till he half faints under me then hell write about me lover and

mistress publicly too with our 2 photographs in all the papers when he

becomes famous O but then what am I going to do about him though

no thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor no

nothing in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom because

I didnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from a

cabbage thats what you get for not keeping them in their proper place

pulling off his shoes and trousers there on the chair before me so

barefaced without even asking permission and standing out that vulgar

way in the half of a shirt they wear to be admired like a priest or a

butcher or those old hypocrites in the time of Julius Caesar of course

hes right enough in his way to pass the time as a joke sure you might

as well be in bed with what with a lion God Im sure hed have something

better to say for himself an old Lion would O well I suppose its

because they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat he

couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all the

amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so round and white

for them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try with

that thing they have swelling up on you so hard and at the same time so

soft when you touch it my uncle John has a thing long I heard those

cornerboys saying passing the comer of Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary has

a thing hairy because it was dark and they knew a girl was passing it

didnt make me blush why should it either its only nature and he puts

his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to be

you put the handle in a sweepingbrush men again all over they can pick

and choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girl

for their different tastes like those houses round behind Irish street

no but were to be always chained up theyre not going to be chaining me

up no damn fear once I start I tell you for their stupid husbands

jealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead of quarrelling

her husband found it out what they did together well naturally and if

he did can he undo it hes coronado anyway whatever he does and then he

going to the other mad extreme about the wife in Fair Tyrants of course

the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husband or wife either

its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given all

those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still can

I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time living with

him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the

wrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss a

womans bottom Id throw my hat at him after that hed kiss anything

unnatural where we havent 1 atom of any kind of expression in us all of

us the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that to a man pfooh the

dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senorita

theres some sense in that didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he did what a

madman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course a

woman wants to be embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young

no matter by who so long as to be in love or loved by somebody if the

fellow you want isnt there sometimes by the Lord God I was thinking

would I go around by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd

know me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on for it and not

care a pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere or one of

those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near

the Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only

sent mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me back

over and over some old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellow

with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me

up against the wall without a word or a murderer anybody what they do

themselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K C lives up

somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave us

the fish supper on account of winning over the boxing match of course

it was for me he gave it I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and

when I turned round a minute after just to see there was a woman after

coming out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to his

wife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rotten

again with disease O move over your big carcass out of that for the

love of Mike listen to him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well

he may sleep and sigh the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora if he

knew how he came out on the cards this morning hed have something to

sigh for a dark man in some perplexity between 2 7s too in prison for

Lord knows what he does that I dont know and Im to be slooching around

down in the kitchen to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled

up like a mummy will I indeed did you ever see me running Id just like

to see myself at it show them attention and they treat you like dirt I

dont care what anybody says itd be much better for the world to be

governed by the women in it you wouldnt see women going and killing one

another and slaughtering when do you ever see women rolling around

drunk like they do or gambling every penny they have and losing it on

horses yes because a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop

sure they wouldnt be in the world at all only for us they dont know

what it is to be a woman and a mother how could they where would they

all of them be if they hadnt all a mother to look after them what I

never had thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at night away

from his books and studies and not living at home on account of the

usual rowy house I suppose well its a poor case that those that have a

fine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not able to

make one it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching the two

dogs up in her behind in the middle of the naked street that

disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried him in

that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was but give it to some

poor child but I knew well Id never have another our 1st death too it

was we were never the same since O Im not going to think myself into

the glooms about that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I

felt all the time it was somebody strange he brought in instead of

roving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and

pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining

himself for life perhaps still its a lovely hour so silent I used to

love coming home after dances the air of the night they have friends

they can talk to weve none either he wants what he wont get or its some

woman ready to stick her knife in you I hate that in women no wonder

they treat us the way they do we are a dreadful lot of bitches I

suppose its all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not like

that he could easy have slept in there on the sofa in the other room I

suppose he was as shy as a boy he being so young hardly 20 of me in the

next room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah what harm Dedalus I

wonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had

the devils queer names there father Vilaplana of Santa Maria that gave

me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and

Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drown

myself in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all the

bits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp and

Crutchetts ramp and the devils gap steps well small blame to me if I am

a harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I dont feel a day

older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanish

como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten it all

I thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any person

place or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs

Rubio lent me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down the

two ways I always knew wed go away in the end I can tell him the

Spanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant

what a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow was dead tired and

wanted a good sleep badly I could have brought him in his breakfast in

bed with a bit of toast so long as I didnt do it on the knife for bad

luck or if the woman was going her rounds with the watercress and

something nice and tasty there are a few olives in the kitchen he might

like I never could bear the look of them in Abrines I could do the

criada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way you

see something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myself

not knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend

we were in Spain with him half awake without a Gods notion where he is

dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head

sometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres

the room upstairs empty and Millys bed in the back room he could do his

writing and studies at the table in there for all the scribbling he

does at it and if he wants to read in bed in the morning like me as hes

making the breakfast for 1 he can make it for 2 Im sure Im not going to

take in lodgers off the street for him if he takes a gesabo of a house

like this Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent welleducated

person Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks with

the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown

that I badly want or a peachblossom dressing jacket like the one long

ago in Walpoles only 8/6 or 18/6 Ill just give him one more chance Ill

get up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old bed in any case I

might go over to the markets to see all the vegetables and cabbages and

tomatoes and carrots and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in

lovely and fresh who knows whod be the 1st man Id meet theyre out

looking for it in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say they are and the

night too that was her massgoing Id love a big juicy pear now to melt

in your mouth like when I used to be in the longing way then Ill throw

him up his eggs and tea in the moustachecup she gave him to make his

mouth bigger I suppose hed like my nice cream too I know what Ill do

Ill go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then mi fa

pieta Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non son

piu forte Ill put on my best shift and drawers let him have a good

eyeful out of that to make his micky stand for him Ill let him know if

thats what he wanted that his wife is fucked yes and damn well fucked

too up to my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the

mark of his spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it

out that ought to satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my belly

unless I made him stand there and put him into me Ive a mind to tell

him every scrap and make him do it out in front of me serve him right

its all his own fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery

said O much about it if thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of

tears God knows its not much doesnt everybody only they hide it I

suppose thats what a woman is supposed to be there for or He wouldnt

have made us the way He did so attractive to men then if he wants to

kiss my bottom Ill drag open my drawers and bulge it right out in his

face as large as life he can stick his tongue 7 miles up my hole as hes

there my brown part then Ill tell him I want £ 1 or perhaps 30/- Ill

tell him I want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well he

wont be too bad I dont want to soak it all out of him like other women

do I could often have written out a fine cheque for myself and write

his name on it for a couple of pounds a few times he forgot to lock it

up besides he wont spend it Ill let him do it off on me behind provided

he doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose that cant be helped Ill

do the indifferent 1 or 2 questions Ill know by the answers when hes

like that he cant keep a thing back I know every turn in him Ill

tighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words smellrump or lick

my shit or the first mad thing comes into my head then Ill suggest

about yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming Ill be quite gay and

friendly over it O but I was forgetting this bloody pest of a thing

pfooh you wouldnt know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture of

plum and apple no Ill have to wear the old things so much the better

itll be more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not there

thats good enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off me

just like a business his omission then Ill go out Ill have him eying up

at the ceiling where is she gone now make him want me thats the only

way a quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre just

getting up in China now combing out their pigtails for the day well

soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil

their sleep except an odd priest or two for his night office or the

alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of itself

let me see if I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those

they invented like the stars the wallpaper in Lombard street was much

nicer the apron he gave me was like that something only I only wore it

twice better lower this lamp and try again so as I can get up early Ill

go to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get them to send us some

flowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrow

today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the place

up someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we can

have music and cigarettes I can accompany him first I must clean the

keys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I wear a white rose or

those fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a rich big shop at 7

1/2d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinky

sugar 11d a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the middle of the

table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long ago I

love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses God of

heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and

the waves rushing then the beautiful country with the fields of oats

and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going about

that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all

sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the

ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no

God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why

dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or

whatever they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves

first then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why

because theyre afraid of hell on account of their bad conscience ah yes

I know them well who was the first person in the universe before there

was anybody that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so

there you are they might as well try to stop the sun from rising

tomorrow the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among the

rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat

the day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the bit of

seedcake out of my mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years ago

my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a

flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that

was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today

yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a

woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the

pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I

wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was

thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and

Hester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors playing all

birds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called it on the

pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thing

round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girls

laughing in their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in the

morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who

else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl market

all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half

asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the

steps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle

thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and

turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop

and Ronda with the old windows of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice

hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night

and the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the

watchman going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown

torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the

glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all

the queer little streets and the pink and blue and yellow houses and

the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and

Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put

the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a

red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well

as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again

yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and

first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could

feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and

yes I said yes I will Yes.

Trieste-Zurich-Paris

1914-1921