CHAPTER XLIV

When Forbes shut the door upon Persis (and unwittingly shut out her

little gesture of appeal to come back, be stronger than she was, and

rescue her from herself in spite of herself) he looked from his room

upon a world that was just the colorless color of the glass in his

window.

There was a menace of rain in the sky, and the dawn was a colorless

affair, neither night nor morning. The day woke like a sleeper that has

not rested well.

As a mere formality Forbes took off his clothes and lay down. Life was

colorless ahead of him. The woman who had fascinated him utterly had

utterly disappointed him. She loved Forbes, but not his penury; she

would marry Enslee's money, but not Enslee. She wanted success in

life--called it her "career"!

Men, he knew, put their careers first, made everything subservient to

success, asked their women to kowtow to it. Perhaps women were going to

do the same thing. Perhaps they had been all these centuries hunting

success and disguising the materialism of their ambition under more

romantic words, aided in their deceit by the numberless gallantries of

authors. Perhaps Persis was not different from millions of women, except

for being frank where the others were hypocrites, more or less

intentionally.

This thought softened his heart toward Persis, and he regretted it. He

did not want to think softly of Persis any more. It unnerved his

resolution, and uncertainty and irresolution were terrific strains on a

man of action and precision. If he could renounce Persis with contempt

he would be able to close that incident and resume the progress of

life. But to find in every beauty of hers something of ugliness, and to

find in every cruelty of hers something to respect and something to

pity, was the paralysis of decision.

How could he hate her when he loved her so madly, and was so unhappy out

of her sight? How was he to endure it that she should marry another man,

and how was he to prevent it?

He tossed between sleeping and waking, between condemnation of Persis

and acquittal, between resolutions to cut her out of his heart and his

life, and resolutions to win her yet. Eventually he heard people

stirring about the house, and he rose drearily.

The shower-bath gave forth a lukewarm drizzle that neither stimulated

nor soothed him. Outside, rain was falling lazily in a gray air that hid

the hills and gardens as if the sky, too, were a curtained shower-bath.

He began to pack his suit-cases. As he was folding one of his coats

there dropped from its inside pocket a mesh of beribboned lace. It

surprised him by its inappropriateness. He picked it up, and it was the

nightcap that had fallen from her tousled hair as she looked from the

window into that wonderful dawn of day before yesterday. What a liar

that dawn had been! It was illustrious and spendthrift of promises.

To-day's dawn was the fulfilment. That was romance, this was truth. The

nightcap itself was but a snare, a broken snare.

He flung it angrily back to the floor and went on packing his bachelor

things to take back into his bachelor future. The little cap lay

huddled--as she had crouched when he flung her out of his arms. She had

whispered, "I understand." It seemed also not to reproach him. But it

was very beautiful. He could not leave it there for some servant to

find. Especially not, as she had prophesied just such a result and he

had promised to keep it secret. He picked it up. It was fragrant and

pink and silken and lacy--as she was.

He rebuked himself for venting his spite on an inanimate object, a

nightcap of all things! Thence he was led to reproach himself for

condemning Persis. She, too, was knitted and bow-knotted together with

the sole purpose of being exquisite. As well blame the nightcap for not

being a helmet as blame Persis for not being a heroine.

He found himself caressing the cap and murmuring to it. He folded it

tenderly and slipped it into the suit-case. Then he took it out and put

it in the inside pocket of his waistcoat. It seemed to nestle there, and

he felt a lurch in his heart, as if Persis had just crept back into it

and curled up to sleep. He buttoned them in, Persis and the nightcap,

and, closing his suit-cases, carried them down-stairs as one does in a

hotel where there are no bell-boys.

He found Willie Enslee staring at him, rubbing his eyes. Willie had

wakened only a moment before, had realized the hour with bewilderment,

had tried the front door and found it still locked. He was just

wondering where Forbes and Mrs. Neff had spent the night when Forbes

walked down the stairs and said "Good morning!" but with a queer tone

and an odd something in his eyes.

Willie drowsily answered "G'maw!" and stared harder, for Mrs. Neff came

down the steps after Forbes. She was sneezing so violently that she had

to cling to the banister-rail to keep from sneezing herself into space.

She did not see Willie; but her appearance and her sneeze confirmed his

theory. He backed out through a side door and made his way through the

kitchen and up the stairway there to his own room. His mind was still

fumbling with the riddle of how Forbes and Mrs. Neff got in.

He wondered what he should tell Persis when she asked him what had

happened during his night-watch. He had promised her great things from

his practical joke. But she never asked him, and he was so greatly

relieved that he never broached the subject himself.

Breakfast was served more slipshoddily than before. Even the novelty of

the experience had gone. Henceforward Winifred was converted to the

vital importance of servants.

Persis was the last to appear. Mrs. Neff greeted her with:

"Persis, your eyes are all red. Have you been cry-cr-cry-ing-g-gk!" She

finished with an almost decapitating sneeze. It gave Persis a hint.

"I caught cold, too," she said. "The change in the weather."

The explanation sufficed to satisfy Mrs. Neff and to convince Forbes

that Persis was dangerously apt at concealments.

When the breakfast was eaten the dishes were washed and dried at

Winifred's direction. But when it came to what Forbes called "policing

the camp," it was unanimously voted to leave that to the gardener and

his wife, or to the caretaker on his return.

The three automobiles rolled up through the rain, all shipshape for the

storm, with tops hooded and side-curtains buttoned down snugly.

Forbes remembered that other rain with Persis in the taxicab. How much

better the opportunity here, with the world shut out from view and two

hours' cruise ahead. But he was again consigned to Mrs. Neff's car, and

it was Willie Enslee who had Persis and the opportunity. Forbes could

not follow even the flutter of her veil. All he could see ahead was the

shoulder of Mrs. Neff's chauffeur and the windshield studded and

streaked with rain.

There was no landscape to divert the mind, only his imagination of the

courtship Willie would be paying to his newly announced fiancee. Forbes

pictured the privileges he would exact, and Persis would not deny. And

he gnashed his teeth in wrath. In the cave of Mrs. Neff's car Alice had

nothing to say. She was thinking too eagerly ahead. Mrs. Neff had

nothing to say. She was wondering what Alice was so cheerful about.

And so the car pushed south, with no passing scenery to indicate

progress, only the bumps and teeterings, the swerves and slitherings,

and the nauseating belches of noise made by the horn. Eventually the

wheels ceased to run upon irregular ground and glided on asphalt. This

must be New York.

At Seventy-second Street they turned off Broadway and crossed Central

Park. At the eastern gate Mrs. Neff's chauffeur checked his car

alongside a whale-like mass, from which Willie Enslee's voice was heard

shrilly calling through the rain:

"Good-by, Mrs. Neff! Good-by Alice! Good-by Mr. Wa--er--Forbes. Awfully

glad you could come. See you again. Go on to Miss Cabot's house." This

last to his own driver.

Mrs. Neff and Alice cried in unison: "Good-by! Had lovely time! See you

soon!"

And out of space came the disembodied voice of Persis as from a grave:

"Good-by, Mrs. Neff! By-by, Alice! Good-by, Mr. Forbes!"

"Good-by, P--Miss Cabot!" he called. Her voice trailed away as if it

were her soul going to death, and his voice followed with an ache of

despair in it. Mrs. Neff caught the pathos hovering over the cries like

overtones sounding above and beyond a tone of music. She said:

"Too bad you let Willie take her away from you; it's not too late yet if

you've any ambition."

Forbes smiled dully, and Alice said:

"Mother, you do say the most tactless things!"

"I had set my heart on that love-match," sighed Mrs. Neff.

"Better begin at home," said Alice, with unusual cheer.

Mrs. Neff changed the subject. "We'll get out at our house, if you don't

mind, and the man can take you to your hotel."

"That's mighty kind of you," said Forbes. He helped them to alight,

promised to call, and re-entered the car.

On his way to the hotel he pondered what Mrs. Neff had said. It cheered

him until he realized she was still assuming that he had a respectable

income. If she had known the truth she would have thought him as unfit

for Persis as she thought Stowe Webb unfit for Alice. She would have

approved Persis' theory that such a wedding was impossible.

It is doleful travel that takes one home from an unaccomplished

errand--only Forbes was not returning even to his home. His home was as

shifty as a Methodist minister's. At present it was a hotel, and after

that the army post.

And now those duties which he had dreaded so to resume became in his

mind a refuge. He had spent a few wild days pursuing a will-o'-the-wisp

of a woman's whim through a moonlit marsh, never sure which turn it

would take, sure only that it would not be where he expected it to be.

After such a maddening recreation there was a kind of heaven in the

thought of living according to a rigid program. At such an hour a bugle

would exclaim and drums would ruffle, and the day's work would begin. At

such an hour a roll-call would be due, or a sick-call, or a guard-mount

call, or a headquarters call. Certain books were to be inspected and

corrected; certain men were to be taught to do certain things exactly

so. If there were ever a doubt, the answer was printed in a book, or in

an order numbered and dated.

Everything was gloriously impersonal and objective, accurate and

material.

Forbes understood the spirit of old convicts who, after cursing their

penitentiaries for years, are let out into the world's turmoil, and by

and by return, pleading to be let in again.

Only yesterday he had been trying to concoct schemes for postponing the

date of his return to duty; now he was resolved to anticipate it.

He paid his bill at the hotel--with further erosion of the

bank-account--and took the Subway and the ferry to Governor's Island.

The first sentinel he encountered recognized him for an officer by his

shoulders and his carriage; and, halting on his post at just the right

distance, faced outward and presented arms with decorative rigidity. As

Forbes' hand went to the brim of his derby hat it felt a vizor there,

and his heart went up in thanks. And his eyes went to the colors!--the

little piece of wrinkling sky in the corner and the red stripes swimming

in luxurious curves.

Next Forbes noted a doting smile half hidden by a saluting hand. It was

a sergeant who had served with him in the Philippines; the very man

Forbes had been shouting to when the bullet passed through his cheek;

the very sergeant who had carried him half a mile to a field hospital in

a rain of sun that beat upon the head like a thug's sandbag. That was

man's work. Forbes returned the salute and shook the hand of the

sergeant. As he remembered, he had got the sergeant out of some woman

scrape. Why should good soldiers always be so easily defeated by women?

And next he met two officers he had known in West Point and in Cuba and

at Manila. The small army of the United States seemed hardly more than a

large club.

One of these officers, Major Chatham, dragged Forbes to his home for

dinner--as pretty a home as a man could wish, with as pretty a wife and

two children. And they had a maid to wait on them--and they kept a

little automobile, too, the major being his own chauffeur. They seemed

happy. Perhaps it was only manners, but the wife seemed as happy as a

lark--or, rather, a canary. And yet Forbes could see how she differed

from Persis. And he was glad that he had not brought a sea-gull down

there for a mate.

He left, after his first cigar, on a pretext of unpacking. In the late

twilight the sea-gulls that swung and tilted and dipped about the bay

like little air-yachts did not seem so desirable, after all. He declared

himself emancipated and contented. He thrust his head high and bulged

his chest and walked soldierly.

And so he prospered till he was alone in his quarters, and the dark

closed in and he turned on the light, and set about the establishment of

his effects with all the fanatic neatness and order a West Point

training could give a man.

He put his coats and overcoats on the hangers, and the trousers in their

holders, flat and creased, and set his shoes out in rows, and the boxes

of belts and spurs, and the sword-cases, and the various hat-boxes. He

took off his civilian coat and waistcoat--and found in the inside pocket

that perfumed nightcap.

And then he wanted Persis! He thirsted and hungered for her. He fevered

for her. He called himself names, reasoned, laughed, cursed, tried to

read, to write; but "Persis! Persis! Persis!" ran among his thoughts

like a tune that can neither be seized nor forgotten. He put out the

light, flung up the curtain and the window, and a soft breeze moving

from the ocean up the bay seemed to pause like a serenader and croon her

name. The torch of the Statue of Liberty glowed like a chained star, and

it seemed to be that planet which was Persis and which he could not

reach.

Only last night she was in his arms, in his power, and so afraid of him

that she cried to him for help from her love; and he had given her

up--given her back to herself!

He had kept her pure that Enslee might take her intact! His nobility

seemed very cheap to him now. He repented his virtue. If he had taken

her then he could have kept her for his own. Now that she had escaped

she would never risk the danger again. She had told him so. And she

could be very wise, very cold, very resolute.

That night was a condensed eternity. The next morning's duties were

performed in a kind of somnambulism.

The second day brought his commission as captain. He glanced over it

listlessly and tossed it aside.

For years he had fretted for this document, focused his ambitions on it,

upbraided a tardy government for withholding it so long. And now that it

was here he sneered at the accolade of it. The increase of pay was a

mere sarcasm; it brought him no nearer his planet than going to the roof

and standing on tiptoe would have done. The commandant congratulated

him. His fellow-officers wrung his hand. He was no longer to be called

"Mr. Forbes," but "Captain Forbes." He had a title. But what was the

good of it? It did not even make him a rival of Enslee, whose only title

was "Little Willie."

Now and then the profundity of his gloom was quickened with resolutions

to seek Persis, to storm her home and carry her off. Perhaps that was

what she was waiting for. He had often read that women love to be

overmastered. Then his pride would revolt. It was not his way of

courtship.

But at least he would telephone her. Then he remembered the fruitless

effort he had made to discover her number--that mystical "private wire."

Ten Eyck would know it. He would call up Ten Eyck. With the receiver off

the hook and Central asking, "Number, please?" he grew afraid and

answered, "Never mind." He dared not invite another of Ten Eyck's

fatherly lectures.

Besides, if Persis cared enough for him to grant him an interview she

would seek it herself. But perhaps she had called up the hotel and found

him gone. Perhaps she was afraid to call up the post and have him

summoned. Women do not like to call up men's organizations; it is like

visiting them.

No! she had undoubtedly crossed him off her books, as he ought to cross

her off his. He ought to write the word "Dropped" under her name, as

under that of a soldier who was out of the service.

And so he tossed hope and despair like a mad juggler who cannot rest.

On the third day, when he came from the parade-ground, he was informed

that he had been wanted on the telephone. He was to call up such a

number. "Yes, sir, it was a lady's voice, sir."

It must be Persis. No, it might be an operator in a hotel. It might be

her maid. It might be anybody. It proved to be the telephone-girl in the

office of Senator Tait.

In a moment, by the occult influence of the telephone, the unknown woman

vanished and Senator Tait's soul was in communication with his. The

genial heart seemed to quiver in the air.

"That you, Harvey?"

"Yes. Hello, Senator."

"You sound mighty doleful, my boy. Anything the matter?"

"No, I'm all right."

"Are you sure you're not dead? You disappeared so completely I thought

you might be. You sound as if you wished you were."

"Oh no, I'm all right."

"Can't you come up to the house for dinner to-night?"

He realized that this would mean meeting Mildred--and dressing in his

evening things. He did not want to put on his evening things. They had

danced with Persis last. He did not want to meet any woman. He was in

mourning. All this flashed through his mind while he was inventing an

excuse of official duty.

"To-morrow night, then?"

"Terribly sorry. I can't get off."

"How about lunch? At the club--to-morrow."

"I'd like that."

"I have something to discuss with you."

"I'll be there! At one?"

"Fine! One o'clock. Metropolitan Club. Do you know where it is?"

"I'll find it."

"Good! Perhaps Mildred can be there."

"Fine!" His voice wavered. He was trapped. He had not guessed that the

club would have an annex. The Senator felt the constraint across the

wire. It hurt him, but he laughed.

"Cheer up! Maybe she can't come!"

"Oh, I--I hope she can. She's--I'd love to see her, I assure you."

"All right. Don't worry. Good-by."

The Senator was laughing, but there was a wounded pride in his voice.

Forbes hung up the telephone, feeling a cad and an ingrate.