Chapter XVI

BUT Chilo did not appear for some time, and Vinicius knew not at last

what to think of his absence. In vain he repeated to himself that

searching, if continued to a certain and successful issue, must be

gradual. His blood and impulsive nature rebelled against the voice

of judgment. To do nothing, to wait, to sit with folded arms, was so

repulsive to him that he could not be reconciled to it in any way. To

search the alleys of the city in the dark garb of a slave, through this

alone, that it was useless, seemed to him merely a mask for his own

inefficiency, and could give no satisfaction. His freedmen, persons

of experience, whom he commanded to search independently, turned out

a hundred times less expert than Chilo. Meanwhile there rose in him,

besides his love for Lygia, the stubbornness of a player resolved to

win. Vinicius had been always a person of this kind. From earliest youth

he had accomplished what he desired with the passionateness of one who

does not understand failure, or the need of yielding something. For a

time military discipline had put his self-will within bounds, but also

it had engrafted into him the conviction that every command of his to

subordinates must be fulfilled; his prolonged stay in the Orient, among

people pliant and inured to slavish obedience, confirmed in him the

faith that for his “I wish” there were no limits. At present his vanity,

too, was wounded painfully. There was, besides, in Lygia’s

opposition and resistance, and in her flight itself, which was to him

incomprehensible, a kind of riddle. In trying to solve this riddle he

racked his head terribly. He felt that Acte had told the truth, and that

Lygia was not indifferent. But if this were true, why had she preferred

wandering and misery to his love, his tenderness, and a residence in his

splendid mansion? To this question he found no answer, and arrived only

at a kind of dim understanding that between him and Lygia, between their

ideas, between the world which belonged to him and Petronius, and the

world of Lygia and Pomponia, there existed some sort of difference, some

kind of misunderstanding as deep as an abyss, which nothing could fill

up or make even. It seemed to him, then, that he must lose Lygia; and

at this thought he lost the remnant of balance which Petronius wished to

preserve in him. There were moments in which he did not know whether he

loved Lygia or hated her; he understood only that he must find her, and

he would rather that the earth swallowed her than that he should not see

and possess her. By the power of imagination he saw her as clearly at

times as if she had been before his face. He recalled every word which

he had spoken to her; every word which he had heard from her. He felt

her near; felt her on his bosom, in his arms; and then desire embraced

him like a flame. He loved her and called to her.

And when he thought that he was loved, that she might do with

willingness all that he wished of her, sore and endless sorrow seized

him, and a kind of deep tenderness flooded his heart, like a mighty

wave. But there were moments, too, in which he grew pale from rage, and

delighted in thoughts of the humiliation and tortures which he would

inflict on Lygia when he found her. He wanted not only to have her, but

to have her as a trampled slave. At the same time he felt that if the

choice were left him, to be her slave or not to see her in life again,

he would rather be her slave. There were days in which he thought of the

marks which the lash would leave on her rosy body, and at the same time

he wanted to kiss those marks. It came to his head also that he would be

happy if he could kill her.

In this torture, torment, uncertainty, and suffering, he lost health,

and even beauty. He became a cruel and incomprehensible master. His

slaves, and even his freedmen, approached him with trembling; and when

punishments fell on them causelessly,--punishments as merciless as

undeserved,--they began to hate him in secret; while he, feeling this,

and feeling his own isolation, took revenge all the more on them. He

restrained himself with Chilo alone, fearing lest he might cease his

searches; the Greek, noting this, began to gain control of him, and grew

more and more exacting. At first he assured Vinicius at each visit that

the affair would proceed easily and quickly; now he began to discover

difficulties, and without ceasing, it is true, to guarantee the

undoubted success of the searches, he did not hide the fact that they

must continue yet for a good while.

At last he came, after long days of waiting, with a face so gloomy that

the young man grew pale at sight of him, and springing up had barely

strength to ask,--“Is she not among the Christians?” “She is, lord,”

answered Chilo; “but I found Glaucus among them.” “Of what art thou

speaking, and who is Glaucus?” “Thou hast forgotten, lord, it seems,

that old man with whom I journeyed from Naples to Rome, and in whose

defence I lost these two fingers,--a loss which prevents me from

writing. Robbers, who bore away his wife and child, stabbed him with a

knife. I left him dying at an inn in Minturna, and bewailed him long.

Alas! I have convinced myself that he is alive yet, and belongs in Rome

to the Christian community.”

Vinicius, who could not understand what the question was, understood

only that Glaucus was becoming a hindrance to the discovery of Lygia;

hence he suppressed his rising anger, and said,--“If thou didst defend

him, he should be thankful and help thee.”

“Ah! worthy tribune, even gods are not always grateful, and what must

the case be with men? True, he should be thankful. But, unhappily, he is

an old man, of a mind weak and darkened by age and disappointment; for

which reason, not only is he not grateful, but, as I learned from his

co-religionists, he accuses me of having conspired with the robbers, and

says that I am the cause of his misfortunes. That is the recompense for

my fingers!”

“Scoundrel! I am certain that it was as he says,” replied Vinicius.

“Then thou knowest more than he does, lord, for he only surmises that

it was so; which, however, would not prevent him from summoning the

Christians, and from revenging himself on me cruelly. He would have done

that undoubtedly, and others, with equal certainty, would have helped

him; but fortunately he does not know my name, and in the house of

prayer where we met, he did not notice me. I, however, knew him at once,

and at the first moment wished to throw myself on his neck. Wisdom,

however, and the habit of thinking before every step which I intend to

take, restrained me. Therefore, on issuing from the house of prayer, I

inquired concerning him, and those who knew him declared that he was

the man who had been betrayed by his comrade on the journey from Naples.

Otherwise I should not have known that he gives out such a story.”

“How does this concern me? Tell what thou sawest in the house of

prayer.”

“It does not concern thee, lord, but it concerns me just as much as

my life. Since I wish that my wisdom should survive me, I would rather

renounce the reward which thou hast offered, than expose my life for

empty lucre; without which, I as a true philosopher shall be able to

live and seek divine wisdom.”

But Vinicius approached him with an ominous countenance, and began in a

suppressed voice,--“Who told thee that death would meet thee sooner at

the hands of Glaucus than at mine? Whence knowest thou, dog, that I will

not have thee buried right away in my garden?”

Chilo, who was a coward, looked at Vinicius, and in the twinkle of

an eye understood that one more unguarded word and he was lost beyond

redemption.

“I will search for her, lord, and I will find her!” cried he, hurriedly.

Silence followed, during which were heard the quick breathing of

Vinicius, and the distant song of slaves at work in the garden.

Only after a while did the Greek resume his speech, when he noticed that

the young patrician was somewhat pacified.

“Death passed me, but I looked on it with the calmness of Socrates. No,

lord, I have not said that I refuse to search for the maiden; I desired

merely to tell thee that search for her is connected now with great

peril to me. On a time thou didst doubt that there was a certain

Euricius in the world, and though thou wert convinced by thine own eyes

that the son of my father told the truth to thee, thou hast suspicions

now that I have invented Glaucus. Ah! would that he were only a fiction,

that I might go among the Christians with perfect safety, as I went some

time since; I would give up for that the poor old slave woman whom

I bought, three days since, to care for my advanced age and maimed

condition. But Glaucus is living, lord; and if he had seen me once,

thou wouldst not have seen me again, and in that case who would find the

maiden?”

Here he was silent again, and began to dry his tears.

“But while Glaucus lives,” continued he, “how can I search for her?--for

I may meet him at any step; and if I meet him I shall perish, and with

me will cease all my searching.”

“What art thou aiming at? What help is there? What dost thou wish to

undertake?” inquired Vinicius.

“Aristotle teaches us, lord, that less things should be sacrificed for

greater, and King Priam said frequently that old age was a grievous

burden. Indeed, the burden of old age and misfortune weighs upon Glaucus

this long time, and so heavily that death would be to him a benefit. For

what is death, according to Seneca, but liberation?”

“Play the fool with Petronius, not with me! Tell what thy desire is.”

“If virtue is folly, may the gods permit me to be a fool all my life. I

desire, lord, to set aside Glaucus, for while he is living my life and

searches are in continual peril.”

“Hire men to beat him to death with clubs; I will pay them.”

“They will rob thee, lord, and afterward make profit of the secret.

There are as many ruffians in Rome as grains of sand in the arena, but

thou wilt not believe how dear they are when an honest man needs to

employ their villainy. No, worthy tribune! But if watchmen catch the

murderers in the act? They would tell, beyond doubt, who hired them, and

then thou wouldst have trouble. They will not point to me, for I shall

not give my name. Thou art doing ill not to trust in me, for, setting

aside my keenness, remember that there is a question of two other

things,--of my life, and the reward which thou has promised me.”

“How much dost thou need?”

“A thousand sestertia, for turn attention to this, that I must find

honest ruffians, men who when they have received earnest money, will

not take it off without a trace. For good work there must be good pay!

Something might be added, too, for my sake, to wipe away the tears which

I shall shed out of pity for Glaucus. I take the gods to witness how I

love him. If I receive a thousand sestertia to-day, two days hence his

soul will be in Hades; and then, if souls preserve memory and the gift

of thought, he will know for the first time how I loved him. I will find

people this very day, and tell them that for each day of the life

of Glaucus I will withhold one hundred sestertia. I have, besides, a

certain idea, which seems to me infallible.”

Vinicius promised him once more the desired sum, forbidding him to

mention Glaucus again; but asked what other news he brought, where he

had been all the time, what he had seen, and what he had discovered.

But Chilo was not able to tell much. He had been in two more houses of

prayer,--had observed each person carefully, especially the women,--but

had seen no one who resembled Lygia: the Christians, however, looked

on him as one of their own sect, and, since he redeemed the son of

Euricius, they honored him as a man following in the steps of “Christ.”

He had learned from them, also, that a great lawgiver of theirs, a

certain Paul of Tarsus, was in Rome, imprisoned because of charges

preferred by the Jews, and with this man he had resolved to become

acquainted. But most of all was he pleased by this,--that the supreme

priest of the whole sect, who had been Christ’s disciple, and to whom

Christ had confided government over the whole world of Christians, might

arrive in Rome any moment. All the Christians desired evidently to see

him, and hear his teachings. Some great meetings would follow, at which

he, Chilo, would be present; and what is more, since it is easy to hide

in the crowd, he would take Vinicius to those meetings. Then they would

find Lygia certainly. If Glaucus were once set aside, it would not be

connected even with great danger. As to revenge, the Christians, too,

would revenge but in general they were peaceful people.

Here Chilo began to relate, with a certain surprise, that he had never

seen that they gave themselves up to debauchery, that they poisoned

wells or fountains, that they were enemies of the human race, worshipped

an ass, or ate the flesh of children. No; he had seen nothing of that

sort. Certainly he would find among them even people who would hide away

Glaucus for money; but their religion, as far as he knew, did not incite

to crime,--on the contrary, it enjoined forgiveness of offences.

Vinicius remembered what Pomponia had said to him at Acte’s, and in

general he listened to Chilo’s words with pleasure. Though his feeling

for Lygia assumed at times the seeming of hatred, he felt a relief when

he heard that the religion which she and Pomponia confessed was neither

criminal nor repulsive. But a species of undefined feeling rose in him

that it was just that reverence for Christ, unknown and mysterious,

which created the difference between himself and Lygia; hence he began

at once to fear that religion and to hate it.