CHAPTER XVI.
_Grand Banquet to a Bride-elect--She sat in a bank of Roses with
Fountains playing around her--An Anecdote of Almack’s--The way the
Duke of Wellington introduced my Father and Dominick Lynch to the
Swells--I determine to have an American Almacks’--The way the
“Patriarchs’” was founded--The One-man Power Abolished--Success of
the Organization._
The two young women of the most distinguished bearing in my day in this
country were, in my opinion, the one the daughter of our ex-Secretary of
State and ex-Governor, the other the daughter of my friend, the Major.
They both looked as born of noble race, and were always, when they
appeared, the centre of attraction. When the engagement of the Major’s
daughter was announced, one of her admirers asked me to go with him to
Charles Delmonico, as he was desirous of giving this fair lady a
Banquet, to commemorate the initial step she had taken in woman’s
career. In the words of the poet, she was then
“A thought matured, but not uttered,
A conception warm and glowing, not yet embodied.”
Now, all was to expand into noble womanhood, and she must needs put away
childish things and bid a sweet farewell to all who had worshipped at
her shrine. This worshipper wanted to make this an occasion in her life,
as well as his; so with Delmonico’s genius we were to conceive a banquet
for this fair maid, at which, like a Queen of May, she was to sit in a
bower of roses. And this she literally did, placed there by her host, a
scion of one of New York’s oldest families, whose family was interwoven
with the Livingstons, and by marriage closely connected with the great
Robert Fulton. It was the first of these lavish and gorgeous
entertainments, known as Banquets. Fifty-eight guests dining in
Delmonico’s large ball-room; the immense oval table filling the whole
room, and covered with masses of exquisite flowers. There were three
fountains, one in the centre, and the others at each end of the table,
throwing up a gentle spray of water, but always so planned that nothing
on the table in any way impeded the sight; one from all sides of it
could see over these beautiful flower-beds and through the spray. A
cotillion followed the dinner, and then back all returned to the
dining-room and supped as the early dawn crept on us.
Close association at a small watering-place naturally produces jars.
People cannot always agree. When you become very rich and powerful, and
people pay you court, it follows in many cases that you become exacting
and domineering. It soon became evident that people of moderate means,
who had no social power to boast of, must needs be set aside and crowded
out if the one-man power, or even the united power of two or three
colossally rich men, controlled society. One reflected that that would
not work. The homage we pay to a society leader must come from the
esteem and admiration which is felt for him, but must not be exacted or
forced. It occurred then to me, that if one in any way got out with the
powers that be, his position might become critical, and he so forced out
of the way as to really lose his social footing. Where then was the
remedy for all this? How avoid this contingency? On reflection I reached
this conclusion, that in a country like ours there was always strength
in union; that to blend together the solid, respectable element of any
community for any project, was to create a power that would carry to
success almost any enterprise; therefore, returning to New York for the
winter, I looked around society and invoked the aid of the then quiet
representative men of this city, to help me form an association for the
purpose of giving our winter balls.
As a child, I had often listened with great interest to my father’s
account of his visit to London, with Dominick Lynch, the greatest swell
and beau that New York had ever known. He would describe his going with
this friend to Almack’s, finding themselves in a brilliant assemblage
of people, knowing no one, and no one deigning to notice them; Lynch,
turning to my father, exclaimed: “Well, my friend, geese indeed were we
to thrust ourselves in here where we are evidently not wanted.” He had
hardly finished the sentence, when the Duke of Wellington (to whom they
had brought letters, and who had sent them tickets to Almack’s) entered,
looked around, and, seeing them, at once approached them, took each by
the arm, and walked them twice up and down the room; then, pleading an
engagement, said “good-night” and left. Their countenances fell as he
rapidly left the room, but the door had barely closed on him, when all
crowded around them, and in a few minutes they were presented to every
one of note, and had a charming evening. He described to us how Almack’s
originated,--all by the banding together of powerful women of influence
for the purpose of getting up these balls, and in this way making them
the greatest social events of London society.
Remembering all this, I resolved in 1872 to establish in New York an
American Almack’s, taking men instead of women, being careful to select
only the leading representative men of the city, who had the right to
create and lead society. I knew all would depend upon our making a
proper selection.
There is one rule in life I invariably carry out--never to rely wholly
on my own judgment, but to get the advice of others, weigh it well and
satisfy myself of its correctness, and then act on it. I went in this
city to those who could make the best analysis of men; who knew their
past as well as their present, and could foresee their future. In this
way, I made up an Executive Committee of three gentlemen, who daily met
at my house, and we went to work in earnest to make a list of those we
should ask to join in the undertaking. One of this Committee, a very
bright, clever man, hit upon the name of Patriarchs for the
Association, which was at once adopted, and then, after some discussion,
we limited the number of Patriarchs to twenty-five, and that each
Patriarch, for his subscription, should have the right of inviting to
each ball four ladies and five gentlemen, including himself and family;
that all distinguished strangers, up to fifty, should be asked; and then
established the rules governing the giving of these balls--all of which,
with some slight modifications, have been carried out to the letter to
this day. The following gentlemen were then asked to become
“Patriarchs,” and at once joined the little band:
JOHN JACOB ASTOR,
WILLIAM ASTOR,
DE LANCEY KANE,
WARD MCALLISTER,
GEORGE HENRY WARREN,
EUGENE A. LIVINGSTON,
WILLIAM BUTLER DUNCAN,
E. TEMPLETON SNELLING,
LEWIS COLFORD JONES,
JOHN W. HAMERSLEY,
BENJAMIN S. WELLES,
FREDERICK SHELDON,
ROYAL PHELPS,
EDWIN A. POST,
A. GRACIE KING,
LEWIS M. RUTHERFORD,
ROBERT G. REMSEN,
WM. C. SCHERMERHORN,
FRANCIS R. RIVES,
MATURIN LIVINGSTON,
ALEX. VAN RENSSELAER,
WALTER LANGDON,
F. G. D’HAUTEVILLE,
C. C. GOODHUE,
WILLIAM R. TRAVERS.
The object we had in view was to make these balls thoroughly
representative; to embrace the old Colonial New Yorkers, our adopted
citizens, and men whose ability and integrity had won the esteem of the
community, and who formed an important element in society. We wanted the
money power, but not in any way to be controlled by it. Patriarchs were
chosen solely for their fitness; on each of them promising to invite to
each ball only such people as would do credit to the ball. We then
resolved that the responsibility of inviting each batch of nine guests
should rest upon the shoulders of the Patriarch who invited them, and
that if any objectionable element was introduced, it was the
Management’s duty to at once let it be known by whom such objectionable
party was invited, and to notify the Patriarch so offending, that he had
done us an injury, and pray him to be more circumspect. He then stood
before the community as a sponsor of his guest, and all society, knowing
the offense he had committed, would so upbraid him, that he would go
and sin no more. We knew then, and we know now, that the whole secret of
the success of these Patriarch Balls lay in making them select; in
making them the most brilliant balls of each winter; in making it
extremely difficult to obtain an invitation to them, and to make such
invitations of great value; to make them the stepping-stone to the best
New York society, that one might be sure that any one repeatedly invited
to them had a secure social position, and to make them the best managed,
the best looked-after balls given in this city. I soon became as much
interested in them as if I were giving them in my own house; their
success I felt was my success, and their failure, my failure; and be
assured, this identifying oneself with any undertaking is the secret of
its success. One should never say, “Oh, it is a subscription ball; I’m
not responsible for it.” It must always be said, “I must be more careful
in doing this for others, than in doing it for myself.” Nothing must be
kept in view but the great result to be reached, i.e. the success of the
entertainment, the pleasure of the whole. When petitioned to curtail the
expense, lower the subscription, our reply has always been, “We cannot
do it if it endangers the success of the balls. While we give them, let
us make them the great social events in New York society; make our
suppers the best that can be given in this city; decorate our rooms as
lavishly as good taste permits, spare no expense to make them a credit
to ourselves and to the great city in which they are given.”
The social life of a great part of our community, in my opinion, hinges
on this and similar organizations, for it and they are organized social
power, capable of giving a passport to society to all worthy of it. We
thought it would not be wise to allow a handful of men having royal
fortunes to have a sovereign’s prerogative, i.e. to say whom society
shall receive, and whom society shall shut out. We thought it better to
try and place such power in the hands of representative men, the choice
falling on them solely because of their worth, respectability, and
responsibility.
A GOLDEN AGE OF FEASTING.