CHAPTER LVIII

Tortured with Jealousy, I go Home, and abuse Strap—receive a Message

from Narcissa, in Consequence of which I hasten to her Apartment, where

her endearing Assurances banish all my Doubts and Apprehensions—in my

Retreat discover Somebody in the Dark, whom, suspecting to be a Spy, I

resolve to kill, but, to my great Surprise, am convinced of his being

no other than Strap—Melinda slanders me—I become acquainted with Lord

Quiverwit, who endeavours to sound me with regard to Narcissa—the

Squire is introduced to his Lordship, and grows cold towards me—I learn

from my Confidante, that this Nobleman professes honourable Love to my

Mistress, who continues faithful to me, notwithstanding the scandalous

Reports she had heard to my Prejudice—I am mortified with an Assurance

that her whole Fortune depends upon the Pleasure of her Brother—Mr.

Freeman condoles me on the Decline of my Character, which I vindicate

so much to his satisfaction, that he undertakes to combat Fame on my

behalf

Having uttered this exclamation, at which she sighed, I went home in

the condition of a frantic Bedlamite: and, finding the fire in my

apartment almost extinguished, vented my fury upon poor Strap, whose

ear I pinched with such violence, that he roared hideously with pain;

and, when I quitted my hold, looked so foolishly aghast, that no

unconcerned spectator could have seen him without being seized with an

immoderate fit of laughter. It is true, I was soon sensible of the

injury I had done, and asked pardon for the outrage I had committed;

upon which my faithful valet, shaking his head, said, “I forgive you,

and may God forgive you!” But he could not help shedding some tears at

my unkindness. I felt unspeakable remorse for what I had done, cursed

my own ingratitude, and considered his tears as a reproach that my

soul, in its present disturbance, could not bear. It set all my

passions into a ferment: I swore horrible oaths without meaning or

application. I foamed at the mouth, kicked the chairs about the room,

and played abundance of mad pranks that frightened my friend almost out

of his senses. At length my transport subsided, I became melancholy,

and wept insensibly.

During this state of dejection, I was surprised with the appearance of

Miss Williams, whom Strap, blubbering all the while, had conducted into

the chamber without giving me previous notice of her approach. She was

extremely affected with my condition, which she had learned from him,

begged me to moderate my passion, suspend my conjectures, and follow

her to Narcissa, who desired to see me forthwith. That dear name

operated upon me like a charm! I started up, and, without opening my

lips, was conducted into her apartment through the garden, which we

entered by a private door. I found the adorable creature in tears; I

was melted at the sight—we continued silent for some time—my heart was

too full to speak—her snowy bosom heaved with fond resentment; at last

she sobbing cried, “What have I done to disoblige you?” My heart was

pierced with the tender question. I drew near with the utmost reverence

of affection. I fell upon my knees before her, and, kissing her hand,

exclaimed, “Oh! thou art all goodness and perfection! I am undone by

want of merit; I am unworthy to possess thy charms, which heaven hath

destined for the arms of some more favourite being.” She guessed the

cause of my disquiet, upbraided me gently for my suspicion, and gave me

such flattering assurances of her eternal fidelity, that all my doubts

and fears forsook me, and peace and satisfaction reigned within my

breast.

At midnight I left the fair nymph to her repose, and, being let out by

Miss Williams at the garden gate by which I entered, began to explore

my way homeward in the dark, when I heard at my back a noise like that

of a baboon when he mews and chatters. I turned instantly, and,

perceiving something black, concluded I was discovered by some spy,

employed to watch for that purpose; aroused at this conjecture, by

which the reputation of the virtuous Narcissa appeared in jeopardy, I

drew my sword, and would have sacrificed him to her fame, had not the

voice of Strap restrained my arm, it was with great difficulty he could

pronounce, “D—d—d-do! mum—um—um—murder me if you please.” Such an

effect had the cold upon his jaws, that his teeth rattled like a pair

of castanets. Pleased to be thus undeceived, I laughed at his

consternation, and asked what brought him thither? Upon which he gave

me to understand, that his concern for me had induced him to follow me

to that place, where the same reason had detained him till now, and he

frankly owned, that, in spite of the esteem he had for Miss Williams he

began to be very uneasy about me, considering the disposition in which

I went abroad; and, if I had stayed much longer, would certainly have

alarmed the neighbourhood in my behalf. The knowledge of this his

intention confounded me. I represented to him the mischievous

consequences that would have attended such a rash action, and,

cautioning him severely against any such design for the future,

concluded my admonition with an assurance, that, in case he should ever

act so madly, I would, without hesitation, put him to death. “Have a

little patience!” cried he, in a lamentable tone; “your displeasure

will do the business, without your committing murder.” I was touched

with this reproach; and, as soon as we got home, made it my business to

appease him, by explaining the cause of that transport during which I

had used him so unworthily.

Next day when I went into the Long Room, I observed several whispers

circulate all of a sudden, and did not doubt that Melinda had been busy

with my character; but I consoled myself with the love of Narcissa,

upon which I rested with the most perfect confidence; and going up to

the rowly-powly table, won a few pieces from my suspected rival, who,

with an easy politeness, entered into conversation with me, and,

desiring my company to the coffee-house, treated me with tea and

chocolate. I remembered Strutwell, and guarded against his insinuating

behaviour; nor was my suspicion wrong placed; he artfully turned the

discourse upon Narcissa, and endeavoured by hinting at an intrigue he

pretended to be engaged in elsewhere, to learn what connection there

was between her and me. But all his finesse was ineffectual, I was

convinced of his dissimulation, and gave such general answers to his

inquiries, that he was forced to drop the subject, and talk of

something else.

While we conversed in this manner, the savage came in with another

gentleman, who introduced him to his lordship, and he was received with

such peculiar marks of distinction, that I was persuaded the courtier

intended to use him in some shape or other; and from thence I drew an

unlucky omen. But I had more cause to be dismayed the following day,

when I saw the squire in company with Melinda and her mother, who

honoured me with several disdainful glances; and when I afterwards

threw myself in his way, instead of the cordial shake of the hand, he

returned my salute with a cold repetition of “Servant, servant!” which

he pronounced with such indifference or rather contempt, that if he had

not been Narcissa’s brother, I should have affronted him in public.

These occurrences disturbed me not a little; I foresaw the brooding

storm, and armed myself with resolution for the occasion; but Narcissa,

being at stake, I was far from being resigned. I could have renounced

every other comfort of life with some degree of fortitude, but the

prospect of losing her disabled all my philosophy, and tortured my soul

into madness.

Miss Williams found me, next morning, full of anxious tumult, which did

not abate when she told me that my Lord Quiverwit, having professed

honourable intentions, had been introduced to my lovely mistress by her

brother, who had, at the same time, from the information of Melinda,

spoken of me as an Irish fortune-hunter, without either birth or

estate; who supported myself in the appearance of a gentleman by

sharping and other infamous practices; and who was of such an obscure

origin, that I did not even know my own extraction. Though I expected

all this malice, I could not hear it with temper, especially as truth

was so blended with falsehood in the assertion, that it would be almost

impossible to separate the one from the other in my vindication. But I

said nothing on this head, being impatient to know how Narcissa had

been affected with the discovery. That generous creature, far from

believing these imprecations, was no sooner withdrawn with her

confidante, than she inveighed with great warmth against the

malevolence of the world, to which only she ascribed the whole of what

had been said to my disadvantage, and, calling every circumstance of my

behaviour to her into review before her, found everything so polite,

honourable, and disinterested, that she could not harbour the least

doubt of my being the gentleman I assumed. “I have indeed,” said she,

“purposely forborne to ask the particulars of his life, lest the

recapitulation of some misfortunes, which he has undergone, should give

him pain; and, as to the article of his fortune, I own myself equally

afraid of inquiring into it, and of discovering the state of my own,

lest we should find ourselves both unhappy in the explanation; for,

alas! my provision is conditional, and depends entirely on my marrying

with my brother’s consent.”

I was thunderstruck with this intelligence, the light forsook my eyes,

the colour vanished from my cheeks, and I remained in a state of

universal trepidation! My female friend, perceiving my disorder,

encouraged me with assurances of Narcissa’s constancy, and the hope of

some accident favourable to our love; and, as a further consolation,

gave me to understand, that she had acquainted my mistress with the

outlines of my life: and that, although she was no stranger to the

present low state of my finances, her love and esteem were rather

increased than diminished by the knowledge of my circumstances. I was

greatly comforted by this assurance, which saved me a world of

confusion and anxiety; for I must have imparted my situation one day to

Narcissa, and this task I could not have performed without shame and

disorder.

As I did not doubt that by this time the scandalous aspersions of

Melinda were diffused all over the town, I resolved to collect my whole

strength of assurance, to browbeat the efforts of her malice, and to

publish her adventure with the frenchified barber by way of reprisal.

In the meantime, having promised to be at the garden-gate about

midnight, Miss Williams took her leave, bidding me repose myself

entirely on the affection of my dear Narcissa, which was as perfect as

inviolable. Before I went abroad, I was visited by Freeman, who came on

purpose to inform me of the infamous stories that were raised at my

expense. I heard them with great temper, and in my turn disclosed

everything that had happened between Melinda and me; and among other

circumstances entertained him with the story of the barber, letting him

know what share his friend Banter had in that affair. He was convinced

of the injury my reputation had suffered; and, no longer doubting the

fountain from whence this deluge of slander had flowed upon me,

undertook to undeceive the town in my behalf, and roll the stream back

upon its source; but in the meantime, cautioned me from appearing in

public, while the prepossession was so strong against me, lest I should

meet with some affront that might have bad consequences.